EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 120 I like Asuka because she's cute.

"...What an idiot, how could such an excuse possibly satisfy a girl..."

I felt warmth—

The moment that idiot Shinji's fingers touched his own hand... he felt a warmth that almost burned his fingers.

In an instant, the ocean... vanished.

It was manifested from the deepest pain and sorrow in Asuka's heart that she absolutely did not want to face...

A bright red ocean—

The sea of ​​blood, which seemed to be steaming from the sun-like heat emanating from Shinji Ikari's finger, was instantly evaporated completely.

No…not the sun, but…light!

It is not the corrupting light of the Tenth Apostle... but... the light of the soul that shines from the depths of the human soul!
"...Found you, Asuka. Oh my... I never expected... to see you like this..."

In the depths of the ocean, where everything had evaporated... Shinji Ikari finally saw Asuka...

Wearing a bright red dress... clutching a doll tightly in her arms [self]... her face full of unease and wariness... young Asuka.

This is... the landscape of the soul, stripped bare of all its outer shell, dissected by the Tenth Apostle...

What is presented is... naturally the most original and authentic appearance of every human being's heart... free from falsehood and pretense.

Shinji Ikari... the world he longs for deepest in his heart, a world where Asuka doesn't exist... a world where he lives happily with his father, mother, and Rei Ayanami.

This is absolutely true.

But...Shinji Ikari, with his strength and resolve, in order to find Asuka's existence... in order to pursue Asuka's destiny and happiness...

He shattered his own happiness with his own hands—this is an undeniable truth.

He broke through the truth revealed by the Tenth Angel with his own will... so Shinji Ikari can now appear before Asuka in his current steadfast and strong battle-hardened body.

But Asuka is different... Her deepest wounds have been unearthed... Submerged by the silent ocean, she can only show her childhood self.

"……Feel sorry."

Young Asuka bowed her head to Shinji Ikari…

Because of her, Shinji Ikari ruined his own happiness—

It was because of her that Shinji Ikari experienced the ultimate pain—

If... he had never existed in the first place... would Shinji Ikari have avoided all of this?
The more I thought about it... the stronger my self-blame became... but facing Asuka like this...

"...Asuka, I never expected...you to be so cute now."

"…………ha?!"

What is this guy saying...?!

Is this version of myself... cute?
This picture reveals my weakness, helplessness, anxiety, frustration... utter worthlessness... all I know is to cry and call for my mother...

Is it really cute in this idiot's eyes...?

"What...are you saying...?"

Asuka looked away... and sighed with guilt.

In her eyes, her own appearance—being someone who only relies on others and only causes trouble for others—is extremely ugly and repulsive.

Why...why does this idiot say he's cute?

"Of course it's because I find you cute..."

Shinji Ikari's expression remained relaxed and carefree... as if the tragic past he had just witnessed, and the pain he had endured, had never existed.

She sat down gently beside him... and reached out to roughly stroke his hair.

Those hands... didn't look like those of a boy that age at all... rough and tough... covered with wounds and calluses...

Just by feeling the slightly stinging sensation coming from above her head, Asuka could clearly see how much pain this boy had endured and how many hells he had traversed.

but--

"Why... are you so gentle... and smiling... so happily... are you an idiot?"

Unconsciously, she buried her head deep into the doll in her hands... to avoid... the boy's gaze.

"Of course, it's because... I can sit here... and talk to you. If I had listened to you and obediently left just now... then I would never have had the chance to talk to Asuka again—just thinking about it makes me so happy."

What was almost lost... was salvaged through one's own efforts.

The mere sensation of holding onto something precious... is enough to give Shinji Ikari the ability to get back up no matter how many times he falls.

Perhaps the original "Shinji Ikari" will never understand...

Just like Shinji Ikari can't understand why he would cower in and not make any choices at crucial moments.

Am I... that important to you?

She quietly lifted her small cheek slightly... peering through the gap in the doll's eyes... at Shinji Ikari's expression.

"Of course, you idiot... Didn't I just say that? I want you to be happy—that's why... I'm here... to take you back."

"…………Why."

"Why...maybe it's because...Asuka is cute, and I like her a lot."

"Idiot, you're saying that again."

I really like it.

—I really like it…the two of us sitting side by side like this…I really like the rough feel of his hair…I really like hearing his silly things he says…

If only this kind of time could last forever…

But... that won't work.

because----

"How disgusting..."

Because...she appeared.

A look of utter contempt, a mixture of coldness and malevolence…

Wearing…the red Unit-02 combat suit almost stained with old blood…with dirty bandages wrapped around her arms and eye sockets…Asuka…

Soryu Asuka Langley... appeared before Asuka [Shikiha].

"...Are those dolls really that fun?"

With her appearance…

The buried truth and the washed-out memories were all exposed to Shikibo as he dug deep into his heart.

The self created...competing with countless clones...a destiny already predetermined...

It turns out that I've never been happy since I was born...

It turns out that from the moment I was created... I was destined to have no future...

Ah...so that's how it is...

I am not Asuka at all.

I... I don't have a mother... I don't have anyone who loves me...

I am... nothing more than a... puppet with no value whatsoever.

It was created to pilot Unit-02.

——————Stop talking!

It was created so that it could meet Shinji Ikari.

——————Stop it!

He thought everything he had experienced was pure folly...

——————Stop right now!

What a ridiculous, pathetic, and self-righteous doll that thinks it can find happiness!
——————Help me, you idiot…Shinji…!
Suddenly... I felt a burning heat... a solid chest.

I saw it… a confident smile that swept away all the cold gloom in my heart…

"Maybe so... But so what? Asuka... is just Asuka. The Asuka I know... the lovely Asuka... the Asuka I wish to be happy... is right here in my arms."

Shinji Ikari pulled Asuka into his arms—

"...This child has gradually...defeated you all...the tragic fate you had ordained for her! She is about to rise up on her own strength...and move towards a brighter future! So, get out of my way...you ghosts of the past!"

(End of this chapter)