EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 111 I want to know...about Ikari-kun
"Sorry…"

As they strolled home, Rei Ayanami took the initiative to speak.

"Seriously, how many times do you need to apologize...?"

Shinji Ikari's response was, as always, understated.

"You've apologized four times today: during the group stage, during the match, after the match, and now... Do you really think I'd be happy to hear you apologize?"

Although Shinji Ikari said that, Rei Ayanami still couldn't hide the look of guilt on her face.

"I'll have to trouble you to pick me up and take me home..."

"Hey, I don't find it troublesome at all. After all... it's quite rare to be able to walk with Lingbo. Lately, I've been hanging out with a group of people... it's been a long time since we've been alone together."

Hearing that the two were alone together, Rei Ayanami seemed to have triggered some key phrase... and that moment from before came flooding back once again...

Listening to the song the boy left him... and the will and passion conveyed through that song.

Rei Ayanami couldn't help but confront her own feelings once again—she... probably liked Ikari.

But... Ikari didn't hear what I said that day... And, could I really express my feelings?

"...After watching Rei Ayanami...what are your thoughts?"

"……Eh?"

Unexpectedly, Shinji Ikari took the initiative to start another topic, which calmed down Rei Ayanami's inner turmoil.

"...Before I met Ikari...I was probably like that."

Following Gendo Ikari's orders...

The world consists only of the gloomy NERV base... and a cold, lonely bedroom.

Even if I go to school, see mountains, and see the ocean... those are all things that have nothing to do with me.

My own world—only my base and my bedroom…

His own life—only governed by Gendo Ikari's orders.

Like a machine, like a puppet... never given the joys and sorrows of being human... only for a moment after completing a command... do they feel the value of their existence.

So... that's why the child was locked up inside without showing any pain... life was just that empty for her.

"So, is it different now?"

I also noticed Rei Ayanami's choice of words... She meant "before she met me"... which means, "now"...

"Um…"

Rei Ayanami smiled and nodded.

"Although... I don't know if it counts as growth. But—when I heard Ikari say... I am a human named Rei Ayanami... a one-of-a-kind human... I really... felt a flutter in my heart that I don't know how to describe."

—Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

No… it’s not just that simple, pure emotion… it’s more… my feelings for this boy named Shinji Ikari.

and so……

“Ikari-kun…!”

Briefly, I mustered up my courage... while it was just the two of us... bathing together in the moonlight—

"what happened?"

"Could you... tell me about... your situation?"

"My business?" Shinji Ikari looked suspicious, wondering what Rei Ayanami wanted to know by suddenly bringing this up.

"Yes...! I want to know anything about Ikari-kun... anything, the more the better... because... I want to, I want..."

Because of shyness, Rei Ayanami's voice grew softer and softer...

But the feeling of happiness from wanting to do something... is growing stronger and stronger.

Wanting to help Shinji Ikari… wanting to see Shinji smile… wanting Shinji to be happy—for this, Rei Ayanami would do anything. No matter the cost…

"Oh dear... you suddenly asked me this... I don't even know where to begin."

"...So, what does Ikari-kun like to eat?"

"Ah...Ayanami, would you like to try cooking for yourself? I love to eat anything, as long as it's made by Ayanami."

"...That's not the answer I wanted..."

As Shinji Ikari watched Rei Ayanami turn her head away in a huff, a strange sense of accomplishment filled his chest.

Because... such a Rei Ayanami could never exist.

Six months ago, or... now, the Rei Ayanami locked up in prison... as long as she was born through normal procedures, it would be impossible for her to have such an emotional side.

And at this moment, Rei Ayanami is so vivid and beautiful that it is breathtaking... all because of herself... protecting the environment that allows her to be so lively.

For Shinji Ikari, who has fought to this day upholding his faith as a guardian, this is a tremendous salvation...!
"...So, Ikari-kun...what makes you happy?"

"Oh? Of course, I'll be happy if I see you all happy."

"Don't give that kind of answer!"

Looking at Rei Ayanami, who was now completely unrecognizable... even though it wasn't outwardly expressed, Shinji Ikari felt a surge of happiness welling up inside him... that had seeped into the deepest recesses of his soul. Therefore...

"Ayanami. How are you feeling about your life now—"

"Eh…?"

The sudden takeover caught Rei Ayanami off guard for a moment... but she immediately gave a firm and affirmative answer.

"...I'm so happy. If only these days could last forever..."

That was the answer Shinji Ikari most wanted to hear... and it was precisely because it was so perfect, so perfect, that it seemed as if not making any mistakes would be a disservice to Rei Ayanami's happy smile.

To avoid that mistake, Shinji Ikari had to emphasize it again...

"Um... So, Ayanami, you just need to trust me. If even you don't trust me, I'll be really, really sad..."

Will you cry?

"It's not just that I'll cry, it'll make me shed tears of blood...!"

"Don't worry... I... believe in Ikari-kun. So... no matter what happens... I'll stand by Ikari-kun's side..."

Without thinking, she reached out and gently, warmly stroked Shinji Ikari's slightly disheveled hair.

"Then promise me. Always believe in me... believe that I can protect everything we cherish now. Don't... ever act on your own... and sacrifice anything. No matter what strange things some weirdo says to you... don't believe them. Just believe me—"

“…! Ikari-kun…!”

Shinji Ikari's words startled Rei Ayanami... Is that so? So even Ikari-kun... noticed?

Although I didn't see Kaworu Nagisa directly, a strange sense of disgust lingered around Rei Ayanami.

Shinji Ikari's story... doesn't need the sacrifice of these girls. If happiness can only be achieved through sacrifice... then it's not happiness at all!

"I understand. I promise you."

Seeing Rei Ayanami's genuine smile... Shinji Ikari's unease finally subsided, and the two of them... returned to their home together.

(End of this chapter)