I'm just trying to ride the wave of popularity!

Chapter 337 The President and Vice President Fight Over the Cleaning Lady

This movie...

It's gotten so absurd that even ordinary people can't understand it!

On the screen, Karl stared wide-eyed, his mind blank.

What did he see?
Or!

Where is he?
He watched the plot unfold in disbelief, completely insane!

Master, that powerful American tycoon, suddenly remembered his deceased wife simply because the female protagonist took out some dog food to feed the dog and played with it.

Yes, it was so inexplicable, so sudden, like someone had poked my anus. Instantly, I thought of my wife, and then tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.

Carl searched through all the knowledge in his head, but he still couldn't understand how this person became the richest man. He couldn't believe that the female protagonist feeding a dog could make the richest man cry...

Even more absurdly, this richest man began to frequently use "walking the dog" as an excuse to get close to the female protagonist.

Oh, God!
Carl once again felt as if his intelligence had been shattered by this movie!

This Mr. Master's daily life consists of nothing but raising dogs and buying all sorts of luxury handbags from "Chinese brands," as if he doesn't need to work at all!
He even called the female lead in the middle of the night, argued with the president multiple times for her, and claimed that he was "willing to give up all his status for her, even the country."

When Carl saw the president and Master vying for the female lead's affections, he felt his worldview completely collapse.

At this moment, he was no longer concerned about the aesthetics of the characters in the play, but was shocked by how Zhou Yang could come up with such a "shocking" plot!

Is this really a scenario that carbon-based life forms could come up with?

The plot that followed was even more insane...

The president and Masters began a secret rivalry...

The female lead is treated very well, and she is praised to the skies. During this time, there is also a scene where the female secretary frames her!

Then, the president slapped the pretty female secretary across the face, making blood gush from her mouth. He then shielded the trembling female protagonist and fired her…

Immediately afterwards...

The rivalry between the president and Masters gradually escalated into an absurd "simp competition".

One morning, Martha had just pushed open the door to the White House storeroom when she was so shocked by the wall covered with bottles of "Smooth" shampoo that she took three steps back – the president had emptied supermarket shelves throughout the city overnight and used 520 bottles of shampoo to create a heart-shaped confession wall.

As the camera zoomed in on the slogan "Dandruff Removal Without Damaging Hair" on the bottle, Master's helicopter suddenly landed on the lawn. Boxes of Kangzheng brand screwdrivers were thrown out of the cabin door, spelling out the fluorescent words "Marry Me," along with a handwritten card that read: "Your smile is brighter than the anti-rust coating."

The two got into a fight over this in the rose garden.

The president grabbed a vacuum cleaner as a weapon, but was tripped by Master's dog leash and fell into the water stains that had just been mopped.

The female secretary seized the opportunity to call the police, claiming that "an Eastern spy has caused a riot at the White House." However, when the FBI rushed in, the two were helping Martha mop the floor—a seemingly friendly scene...

However, in close-up shots, the president's bulging veins and Master's trembling watch create a stark contrast...

The climax occurred at the state banquet.

Master suddenly pushed open the food cart and lifted the silver lid, revealing a proposal tower made of 999 bags of Want Want dog food.

The president immediately overturned the table, pulled out the nuclear button briefcase, and roared, "Believe it or not, I'll have the entire Pentagon replaced with Chinese goods!" At that moment, Martha sneezed, and the two instantly ceased their fight. They both took off their coats and scrambled to put them on her, but in the struggle, they tore the lining of her suit jacket, which was printed with the Qixi Festival promotion advertisement of [Xuanshi Mall].

The camera lingers on the countless advertising fragments fluttering in the air, and a caption pops up: "If you love her, buy her the same thing..."

When the movie was in its second half, the plot suddenly took a shocking turn!
It turns out that the "mysterious agent" who arranged for Martha to work as a cleaner in the White House was actually a trap carefully designed by the president's political enemies.

The villain originally planned to use Martha to get close to the president and assassinate him, but he didn't expect that this simple and kind girl would fall in love with the president in the process of spending time together and could not bring herself to do it.

Enraged, the villain kidnaps Martha and issues an ultimatum to the president via video: "Want to save her? You must come alone!" The camera zooms in on Martha, who is tied to a chair and shaking her head desperately, while the villain holds a dagger to her neck!
After receiving the video from the kidnappers, the president immediately smashed the nuclear button briefcase and retrieved a hidden [Kangzheng brand GPS screwdriver] to locate the abandoned factory.

And they immediately mobilized the entire American armed forces to frantically search the world for the female lead!

During this time, the president and Master disagreed on how to rescue the female lead, and the two got into a physical fight, even hurling insults at each other. Then, they both suddenly united against the kidnapper because of a phone call...

Despite everyone's advice against it, the president insisted on personally rescuing the female lead, saying, "If she dies, what's the point of me being president?"
Upon hearing the news, Master immediately mobilized his private satellite to hack the electronic bomb jammers in the kidnappers' area into fireworks launchers, showcasing a series of inexplicably high-IQ maneuvers!

then!

Through their combined efforts, resources across the United States were mobilized, and the location was finally located. The two men swooped down in a helicopter, and as the president kicked open the sunroof and rappelled down, Masters used a baseball bat to knock out the guard!
When they stormed into the factory, the villains were setting it on fire.

The president grabbed a rusty water pipe and performed a 720-degree slam dunk, while Master threw out an electrified belt co-branded with [Xuanshi Mall] to strangle the villain.

During the fierce battle, the female protagonist suddenly pushed the cleaning cart and knocked over the oil drum, and the three of them took the opportunity to push the villain into the soap bubble pool.

When FBI agents burst through the door, they found the president kneeling on one knee, rolling up a vacuum cleaner hose into the shape of a ring; Master, holding a can of dog food, was in tears, but eventually gritted his teeth and rushed forward.

The female protagonist is torn between the two men and finds it hard to choose, moving her to tears...

“Choose me! I can make you First Lady, and the whole of America will be yours!” the president roared, his eyes red.

“Come with me! I’ll make you the richest man in the world, and I’ll buy you whatever you want!” Master’s hand, gripping the can of dog food, bulged with veins.

"Foam floated between the three men, the FBI agents slowly lowered their guns, and the entire factory fell into an eerie silence."

The scene ends with a close-up of the female protagonist, tears streaming down her face, deeply moved: "I don't want to get married. Why do I have to choose? We can be best friends forever!"...

Screening room.

The screen went dark.

The lights come on.

Carl slumped in his seat, gripping the armrests tightly with both hands.

His pupils trembled violently as he stared at the screen, as if his soul had been ripped away, or as if he were witnessing an alien invasion of Earth.

The moment the female lead said, "We can be best friends forever," he suddenly covered his mouth!

He felt like throwing up!
Seriously, it's so embarrassing he could build a lithography machine on the ground with his toes!
The soap bubbles floating on the screen were reflected in his dazed pupils, much like shattered brain cells.

When the lights in the screening room came on, Karl remained seated as stiff as a statue.

The screams and sobs echoed around him, making him unsure whether it was an absurd comedy or a hallucination caused by his mental breakdown.

He instinctively stood up and walked step by step toward the entrance of the screening room.

He felt a throbbing sensation in his temples, and a strong wave of dizziness washed over him...

At that moment, he truly realized that he might really be going crazy!

A wave of intense regret washed over me!
He regretted it!

I regret it so much I could die!

Had he known this would happen, he would never have represented such an absurd film!

Isn't this going to get me scolded?

Moreover, once you get in the car, do you know what's the most outrageous thing?
Aside from the shocking and abstract plot of the movie, all sorts of advertising brands instantly flooded his mind...

Those advertising slogans were shockingly clear!

He realized that his spirit had been completely corrupted!
..............................

When Carl returned to his office, he felt as if his soul had been drained.

He sat motionless in the leather chair, staring unfocusedly at the stills from the movie "The President Falls in Love with Me" on the wall—the absurd scene of the president embracing a janitor in the rose garden seemed particularly jarring at that moment.

Through the gap in the blinds, the secretary saw him mechanically switching between light music playlists, from Bach's "Air on the G String" to the piano version of "Castle in the Sky," and finally looping white noise of ocean waves. Throughout this, he kept doing deep breathing exercises, as if trying to calm some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder.

On the 21st, the whole day was like this. When the secretary delivered documents late at night, she found Carl writing something with a pen, his coffee had long gone cold, and the ashtray was full of chewed-up cigar ends.

He would nervously check his phone calendar to make sure it wasn't April Fool's Day, then flip through all sorts of data from unknown sources, and finally even pull out a calculator to calculate the amount of the penalty for breach of contract.

until……

Early morning of the 22nd!
Karl finally returned to normal, ate something, drank some water, and quietly lay back down on the temporary rest bed next to him, preparing to rest for a while.

The secretary rushed out the door, clutching a freshly printed box office data sheet, not even noticing her high heels tripping on the carpet: "Mr. Carl! The premiere box office data is out!"

Her voice trembled, and she seemed somewhat dazed as she slammed the papers onto the desk…

Carl sprang up from his bed and grabbed the data sheet.

The moment he saw the numbers, his pupils contracted sharply, and his fingers unconsciously crumpled the paper!
The midnight screenings, with a 33% occupancy rate, generated $28 in box office revenue. Furthermore, throughout the entire day of the 21st, the film's occupancy rate continued to climb. Even more astonishing was the audience composition: 78% were women aged 16-25, and the repeat viewing rate was a staggering 19%...

“This is impossible.” Carl repeatedly checked the theater codes and suddenly noticed a line of small print in the notes column below the data: “Audience satisfaction 68%, 12 additional theaters have been added to the screening.”

Carl stared blankly at the data sheet. When his gaze fell on the box office figures for the 22nd, his pupils dilated suddenly, and he froze on the spot as if struck by lightning.

All that remained in my ears was the buzzing sound of my head, rising and falling...

This movie's box office performance!
Without much publicity!

The box office was surprisingly...

Didn't collapse?
"Am I going crazy, or..."

"Has the world gone mad?"

Carl put down the box office report, stared blankly out the window, and fell into deep self-doubt.

He muttered to himself, as if questioning reality, or as if confirming whether he was still conscious.

or……

Am I already suffering from schizophrenia?

This kind of movie...

Actually...

? ? ? ?
(End of this chapter)