I'm just trying to ride the wave of popularity!

Chapter 327 Damn it! What a vicious movie!

In the screening room, the light from the screen flickered.

Film critic Liu Jiasheng was also sitting in the audience...

Starting with "Sun Wukong vs. Superman 2", Zhou Yang has not missed any of his films.

【XuanShi Entertainment】's movies always have a magical quality: before you actually watch them, you can never predict whether they will be a masterpiece or a terrible movie.

Undoubtedly, these films always generate a great deal of buzz and maintain consistently high market attention.

This time, "Kung Fu Basketball" didn't even do any promotion; it ignited the entire film industry with just a release announcement.

Although the title suggests it might be an absurd and abstract film, given Zhou Yang's team's unconventional naming style, Liu Jiasheng decided to come and find out for himself.

After all, no one can predict what kind of content this movie will present until they actually see the finished product.
then……

The moment he watched this movie with great excitement!
He was deeply shocked!
The protagonist, down on his luck, wanders the streets, living under bridges and scavenging for leftovers—a classic underdog story.

The male lead had a blank expression throughout the entire film, as if the whole world owed him eight million dollars, and his eyes were so empty that you could see right through the screen.

When he was beaten to the ground by the thugs, he didn't even flinch, acting like a breathing corpse, twitching a couple of times before continuing to play dead.

The second male lead is even more outrageous, sporting a frizzy, spiky hairstyle that makes him look like a noisy frog jumping around.

He chatters incessantly around the male lead every day, his lines are more numerous than those of a market vendor, making him a veritable walking source of noise pollution.

The most amazing scene was the one where he tried to persuade the male lead to make a comeback—he knelt down and kowtowed, tears streaming down his face, but the male lead didn't even lift his eyelids. The two of them acted like they were having an epileptic seizure, or like a person in a vegetative state coming back to life. It was a scene that could be described as a medical miracle.

As for the female lead? She comes across as mentally challenged from the moment she appears. She accidentally spills cat food on her own head while feeding a cat, and falls down after helping an old lady cross the street. Yet, the screenwriter adds a saintly buff to her, making her cry and chant all sorts of spells to pray for the dead stray dog. In the end, she's so frightened by the male lead's expressionless face that she faints on the spot...

……

Scene after scene of the plot assaulted Liu Jiasheng's retina like a form of mental pollution!
Damn it, this isn't a movie at all!

It was clearly a massacre of his brain cells!

Liu Jiasheng's hand holding the pen trembled violently, and the ink spreading across the notebook mirrored his collapsing nerves...

He stared incredulously at the screenwriter information in the film.

Screenwriters: Zhou Yang, Ding Rong...

Upon seeing those familiar words, he gasped in shock!
—Is this really a work written by Zhou Yang?

damn it!
The difference in quality between "Moon Wars II" and "Kung Fu Basketball" is deeper than the Mariana Trench!

On screen, the male lead's poker face could cure a child's night crying, the second male lead's monkey-like performance was enough to make even the gorillas in the zoo feel ashamed, and the female lead's mental disability was so strong that it made his brain go blank and he suffered a brain atrophy!

This isn't making a movie! It's more like Zhou Yang threw the script into a meat grinder, mixed it with three tons of industrial waste, and then dumped it into his eyes in a terrorist attack!
Holy shit!

He couldn't bear to watch any longer, so he turned to glance at his fiancée beside him, only to find her engrossed in the spectacle.

After calming down, he suddenly remembered the equally absurd film, "Love Rollercoaster".

And the movie did not disappoint him. At that moment, a jaw-dropping scene appeared on the screen: Murong Xiang stood outside the three-point line, leaped into the air with a 720-degree dunk, and caught a trapped stray cat in mid-air as the basketball precisely broke the tree branch. He then completed three Thomas spins in the air and landed lightly, without a speck of dust on his shoes.

At that moment, he finally realized the "unusual" nature of this film.
Fuck!
This movie is awesome!

This is practically a basketball-themed plus version of "Love Rollercoaster"!

If NBA players saw this 720-degree dunk to save a cat, they'd probably kneel down and call him "daddy" on the spot!

………………

Damn you!

You can scale walls and rooftops!

He can do a 720-degree spin dunk in mid-air!
As a result, he was beaten up by a few street thugs and had to lie on the ground pretending to be dead.

This logic is so bad it's disgusting even to feed a dog!
……

Liang Xiaogang stared at the screen, his worldview shattered.

The movie continued playing.

Under the onslaught of the second male lead's frog-like chatter and the female lead's idiotic tears, the male lead, who seemed to have facial nerve necrosis, finally made a "difficult" decision!
He twitched the corner of his mouth slightly. Well, this was probably the peak of his acting skills. He nodded at 0.5x speed, which could be considered as agreeing to rebuild the team.

And what's more, the movie even gave the male lead a close-up shot just to showcase his "acting skills"!
Immediately following, the film began the most perfunctory "recruiting" montage in history!

A burly man carrying bricks at a construction site, upon hearing that they were going to play ball, immediately twisted a steel bar into a pretzel to use as a baseball bat, then threw down his hat and instantly flew down from a three-meter-high building...

"This is the successor of the Emei Cloud-Dispelling Palm technique!"

The talkative second male lead enthusiastically began his introduction...

Then, the scene cut again, showing a guy in an internet cafe demonstrating incredible dribbling skills on a keyboard, resulting in sparks flying from the mechanical keyboard and dazzling special effects that made Liang Xiaogang's buttocks ache...

"This is the successor of the Cloud-Piercing Flower Seeker of the Misty Sect! He's currently a player of the famous online game 'Racing Car'..."

The most outrageous one was a sissy wearing overalls who claimed to be proficient in "singing, dancing, rapping, and basketball." But when he was shooting, his belt suddenly burst, and he used the overalls as a slingshot to shoot the basketball into a trash can three kilometers away.
Fuck!
Liang Xiaogang even suspected that this guy might suddenly start dancing and singing while playing basketball!
……

Scene after scene!

This "recruiting geniuses" scene challenges the limits of human intelligence in every shot.

Liang Xiaogang watched the various demons and monsters on the screen...

At this moment!

He felt like he was going to go crazy if he kept watching!
Next up!
Even more outrageous scenes have emerged!
When the "Fire Team" had their first street match, the entire theater erupted in deafening laughter.

Just as the opposing team, the Storm Team, got into a defensive stance, the effeminate man in overalls suddenly flung out two straps, which wrapped around the basketball like octopus tentacles. He then performed a 360-degree spin and slammed the ball down while doing a girl group dance, twisting the rim into a pretzel.

Even more amazing was that when the burly construction worker was grabbing a rebound, he directly inserted a steel bar into the floor as a spring, jumped to the height of the third floor, and smashed the ball into the lottery machine in the opposite shop, causing a rain of lottery tickets to fall from the sky.

The most outrageous one was the internet cafe nerd. He was dribbling the ball while crouching on the ground when suddenly he summoned a game effect: the basketball transformed into a nitro-fueled flame from a racing game, blasting his opponent off the court along with the ball, leaving a perfect human-shaped scorch mark on the wall. On screen, these freaks displayed their extraordinary abilities, like a circus troupe collectively on drugs, even the referee was so terrified he knelt down and begged for mercy…

……

Upon seeing these absurd and bizarre scenes, Liang Xiaogang could no longer sit still and suddenly stood up!
This doesn't look like basketball.
This is practically using mental pollution to appease the audience!

However, precisely because the plot was so outrageous, coupled with the actors' exaggerated and comical performances, the entire screening room erupted in bursts of laughter, unexpectedly providing a sense of relaxation.
After observing the reactions of some audience members, Liang Xiaogang eventually sat back down in his chair...

Oh shit!

Keep watching!

The screen lights flickered slightly!
Then, the villain Lei Zhen appeared, dressed in a black suit, standing atop a tall building with dark clouds behind him, and announced in a deep voice: "There can only be one king in the basketball world!"

The exaggerated lines paired with the childish expressions are like they were cut out of a low-quality comic!

What's even more absurd is the plot logic—the main characters decide to defeat the villains in a basketball game in order to "expose the dark side of gambling on football".

Then, the scenes of playing matches and challenging the final boss began!
you say!

He could tolerate the fact that this movie combined martial arts with basketball!

You said it goes beyond the settings of some martial arts novels!

It's barely acceptable!

But what happens next?
The entire movie features basketball scenes filled with flying, 720-degree mid-air spins, and even fantastical elements like "controlling the ball with qi."

Fuck!
Can you believe that a player could actually fly up, step on the basketball, and fly all the way to the opposite hoop?

Then, he did a spin in the air, creating a terrifying tornado, and slammed the ball into the basket!

These scenes...

This greatly inspired Liang Xiaogang!

Fuck!
I've never seen such a "thrilling" movie in my life!

The supporting characters are so exaggerated!

The main character is even more outrageous!
He watched as the protagonist used his "Foshan Shadowless Hand" to steal the ball ten times in an instant!

Oh shit!

The entire stadium was filled with close-ups of various hands, and each close-up of a hand was accompanied by a golden flame burning, as if it were about to burn the entire screen!
The villainous contestants were all stunned!

Liang Xiaogang covered his face in pain!

This isn't playing ball.
This is fucking cultivation!
What broke him the most was the romantic relationship!
During a break in the game, the female lead cried out to the fireworks, "The way you play basketball reminds me of my deceased grandfather!"

The male protagonist responded with deep emotion: "Basketball is my life. Would you like to be my basketball?"

This scene left Liang Xiaogang speechless, and he almost dug a three-bedroom apartment out of the seat with his toes.

When the movie reaches its climax!
The main characters encountered the ultimate villains: superhumans who had undergone various trainings, as well as traitors from some sects!

Then, the most outrageous scene in film history appeared!

The team has collectively activated "basketball fire" mode!
Yes!

Their eyes started blazing!

They say he's entered some kind of "extreme basketball fire" state!
Not only were flames burning in its eyes, but its entire body was also radiating golden light!

To emphasize this passionate spirit!

Background music also appeared on the movie screen!

"Oh! Don't sleep here!"

Why are you crying?!

"Who told you not to understand the difference between me and you!"

"Yeah, I'm Superman!"

"Yeah, I'm Superman!"

"..."

Fuck!
They really sang!

At the climax and most exciting moment of the entire movie!
That contestant in overalls!

They actually sang when they unleashed their ultimate move!
He flew into the air!
Suddenly, they started performing a depraved and inhumane dance!

Singing, dancing, rapping, and basketball!

Fuck!
It's really coming!

……

See this scene!
Liang Xiaogang's vision went black instantly!
Clutching his heart, he gasped for breath!
His mind was buzzing!
where am I?
What the hell did I just watch?!

Why the hell am I here?!
He got it!
He understood completely!
These bastards suddenly became so respectful; it turns out they knew he had a heart condition and wanted to use this kind of mental pollution on the film.

May he suffer a heart attack on the spot and die instantly!

Oh shit!

What a vicious intention!

(End of this chapter)