Restart life

Chapter 278 0275 [Boss Chen's Special Session]

Two young people were in charge of opening the show.

He and Li, a duo, performed "Learning the Four Phases".

They pretended not to see the two large flower baskets, because that was what Lao Guo was going to say when he came on stage.

This was Bian Guanyue's first time hearing crosstalk live; she had only seen it on TV programs like the Spring Festival Gala before.

Seeing that the crosstalk performers were interacting with the audience, she said in a low voice, "The atmosphere on stage is different from on TV. Once the atmosphere is right, everything you say will be funny."

"Have you heard Li Boqing's storytelling of martial arts in Chengdu?" Chen Guiliang asked.

Bian Guanyue shook her head: "No. But this summer I visited folk artists and met one of Li Boqing's apprentices, who was also learning from the old artist."

Chen Guiliang asked, "Who is it?"

Bian Guanyue said, "His name is Liao Jian."

Liao Jian? Of course Chen Guiliang knows him. He's the original singer of the Sichuan dialect version of "Exploding Liu Jifen".

This guy used to be in a band with Dao Lang. Liao Jian was the lead singer and Dao Lang was the keyboardist.

After one crosstalk performance after another, Guo Degang and Yu Qian finally came out to wrap things up.

The two men had entered the stage perfectly fine, but after passing the large flower basket, Yu Qian suddenly turned back. He looked like a thief, as if the flower basket was his prize, and he was repeatedly checking the location to see if he could steal it that night.

"Hey hey hey, what's up?" Guo Degang said impatiently.

Yu Qian'er pointed to the large flower basket: "There's one for me too."

Guo Degang said, "Look at you. You've never seen anything like this before, have you?"

Yu Qian'er said, "I have seen them. But they were all gifts for you, no one ever gave them to me as well."

"Who are you referring to with that?" Guo Degang said.

Yu Qian quickly explained, "I didn't ask the audience for flower baskets."

"Xu~~~"

The audience started to jeer.

Guo Degang said, "The more I talk about it, the more it seems to be true. No need to explain." He then turned to the audience and said, "Thank you to the boss for sending the two old men the wreaths."

Yu Qian'er corrected: "It's a flower basket."

Guo Degang said, "Thank you to the big boss for sending me those two flower baskets."

Yu Qian'er frowned: "Why is it that the one who sent me a wreath, but the one who sent you a flower basket?"

Guo Degang chuckled mischievously but didn't respond. His expression then turned serious: "Thank you for your support, boss. Boss Zhang and Boss Deng are regular customers, but this boss is a stranger. I don't know him. I just went to the internet cafe, ran there and ran back, and I'm all sweaty from exhaustion."

Yu Qian asked, "We're about to perform, what are you doing at the internet cafe? Playing games?"

Guo Degang said, "I wanted to play games, but the internet cafe manager wouldn't let me in."

Yu Qian'er said, "You won't do business even if there's opportunity?"

Guo Degang said, "The internet cafe manager stopped me, stared at me for a long time, and said that national regulations prohibit minors from entering internet cafes."

"Xu~~~"

The audience started heckling again.

Yu Qian stared at Guo Degang's face: "Are there any minors who look this old?"

Guo Degang said, "Don't let my old-looking appearance fool you, I'm actually a post-80s generation."

"Xu~~~"

The commotion hasn't stopped all day.

"You're a post-80s generation?" Yu Qian asked in surprise.

Guo Degang said, "I officially started learning crosstalk after I turned 80."

Yu Qian suddenly realized: "It's this post-80s generation."

Guo Degang said, "I pleaded with my apprentice to bring my ID card, and the internet cafe manager finally let me in."

"What are you doing at the internet cafe?" Yu Qian'er asked.

Guo Degang said, "Didn't a boss give me a pair of big flower baskets? They cost 800 yuan a pair. I don't recognize them, so I thought I'd search for them online."

Yu Qian said to the audience, "Now we live in the Internet age, and you can find any kind of information online."

Guo Degang shook his sleeves: "I found a computer and sat down. Guess what? The computer was broken, the screen wouldn't light up."

Yu Qian'er said, "Then you should get a different one."

"I've tried several different ones, but none of them work. It's driving me crazy!" Guo Degang said, looking frustrated.

Yu Qian'er, sharing the same indignation, asked: "What kind of internet cafe is this?"

Guo Degang: "I asked the same question to the internet cafe manager, 'What kind of internet cafe is this? Not a single computer is working!' The manager called me crazy."

Yu Qian commented: "Not only is there a problem with the computer, but the service attitude is also problematic."

Guo Degang said, "I asked you what kind of service you have. The network administrator replied, 'If you don't even turn on the computer, how can it possibly light up?'"

Some of the audience members started to jeer, and some were already laughing.

Yu Qian looked at him with disdain: "So you don't even know how to turn a computer on?"

"You think I just don't know how to turn on a computer? Let me tell you, I can't even type!" Guo Degang said smugly.

Yu Qian'er said, "He's even gotten arrogant."

Guo Degang continued, "I asked the network administrator to type it out for me, and told him to search for Chen Guiliang, which was written on the flower basket. He opened a webpage with something like 'Searching for him a thousand times in the crowd.'"

Yu Qian'er said, "That's called Baidu, a search engine."

Guo Degang said, "Yes, that's the name. The internet cafe manager typed it out quickly."

Yu Qian'er said, "The internet cafe manager types quite fluently."

Guo Degang said, "The network administrator searched and found many results for Chen Guiliang. I can't type, but I know how to use a mouse."

Yu Qian'er said, "My nephew is only three years old, and he can use a mouse too." "Go away! Who's your nephew!"

Guo Degang pushed Yu Qian away: "I clicked on the first one, Chen Guiliang. But when I entered the webpage, hey, he's selling rat poison!"

Yu Qian'er exclaimed in surprise: "The rat poison seller gave us two flower baskets? Two pairs of big flower baskets cost a total of 1600 yuan. How much rat poison must he have sold?"

Guo Degang scratched his forehead and said, "I'm puzzled too. Back when I was a traveling shopper, I sold liniment and rat poison, but I didn't see any of my colleagues make a lot of money. Then I clicked on the second one, Chen Guiliang, and hey, he sold pig feed..."

"Hahahaha!"

The whole crowd laughed.

By now, everyone could tell that Guo Degang was mocking Baidu's paid search ranking system.

Tao Xue was very supportive, clapping her hands and cheering loudly.

At this time, Guo Degang had only recently become famous, and the money he had earned was not enough to support his arrogance. Sending just two large flower baskets was enough to make him improvise a joke. And he showed no fear of offending Baidu.

He mentioned several imposters of Chen Guiliang, from all sorts of different professions and backgrounds.

Yu Qian'er got anxious: "Who sent us the flower basket?"

Guo Degang grabbed Yu Qian'er's collar and said in a hoarse, shrill voice, "I grabbed the internet cafe manager's clothes and demanded, 'Who sent me this flower basket?! How come this crappy computer can't find it?!'"

Yu Qian, acting as a network administrator, said: "What does this have to do with me? Baidu has a problem."

"Tell me quickly, what's wrong with Baidu!" Guo Degang's voice was still hoarse.

Yu Qian'er said, "The boss of Baidu is busy arguing with people and doesn't have time to work on his search engine."

The audience laughed as they looked around for Chen Guiliang's seat.

Chen Guiliang was both amused and exasperated.

Guo Degang grabbed Yu Qian'er and shouted hysterically, "I'll roast you to death!"

"Hahaha!"

Many viewers were laughing, but some didn't know the joke.

Zhang Guoli didn't understand and asked his wife, "Why is this funny?"

Deng Jie said, "For the past week, the newspapers have been reporting on this every day, and the follow-up news has even made it into the entertainment section. The word 'confrontation' is also very popular, and I even heard someone in the crew say it. It seems to be related to the argument between Chen Guiliang and Li Yanhong."

Zhang Guoli is very busy this year, as he will be filming three TV series and one movie.

He's already finished filming two movies and has been so busy he barely has time to read the newspaper. These past couple of days he's had a little respite, so he came to listen to Guo Degang's crosstalk to relax.

What the two people on stage just said wasn't proper crosstalk content; it was just something they improvised for the big boss.

As they talked, the conversation turned to the crosstalk piece "Lighting a Lamp with Vinegar".

The pacing of the performance was truly amazing. Despite the wide range of topics, the audience didn't feel any abruptness. In fact, if you weren't paying attention, you wouldn't even notice how they switched topics.

Grandpa Yu began to dominate the entire performance, vividly portraying the Yu family universe.

Even after the performance ended, the audience remained.

At this point, even if Guo Degang didn't send a super-sized flower basket worth 800 yuan, he would still send back a large flower basket worth 200 yuan if he sent enough of them.

"Hi, we're back again," Guo Degang said.

Yu Qian'er said, "I came back today with the most willingness. I also received a pair of flower baskets."

Guo Degang said, "You're bringing this up again. You were always reluctant to do encores before, weren't you?"

Yu Qian bowed to the audience and said, "Thank you, boss."

Chen Guiliang smiled and waved to them.

Guo Degang also bowed and said, "Thank you for providing us with food and clothing."

Chen Guiliang continued waving.

A member of the audience in the front row suddenly shouted, "I don't have a son that big as you!"

"Hahaha!"

The audience burst into laughter upon hearing this.

Guo Degang reacted quickly and said calmly, "This father, please shut up. I have many more fathers in line."

This time, Chen Guiliang, Bian Guanyue, and Tao Xue were all amused and burst into laughter.

Yu Qian rolled up his sleeves and added, "Dad, if you think your son is too big, I'll saw off a piece for you."

Guo Degang said, "Don't saw me. I'm already short, if you saw me any shorter I'll become Guo Xiaosi (a famous Chinese comedian)."

Yu Qian covered Guo Degang's mouth: "You can't say that."

Guo Degang asked, "Why?"

Yu Qian'er said, "Guo Xiaosi and your other father were high school classmates. In terms of seniority, he's your uncle, so you can't joke about him."

The audience burst into laughter again.

It's been about four hours since these two learned that Chen Guiliang sent the large flower basket. They made many phone calls to ask for relevant information, and even found out that Guo Xiaosi and Chen Guiliang were alumni.

Ten years from now, by the time he's made enough money, Guo Degang would definitely not be as dedicated as he is now.

Another crosstalk performance has ended, and the show finally came to a close this afternoon.

It was already evening when Guo Degang left his apprentices behind and brought Yu Qian to express his gratitude in person. He also chatted with Zhang Guoli and Deng Jie, and before long, they decided to have dinner together, inviting Chen Guiliang and the others to join them.

Chen Guiliang gladly accepted the invitation.

The more people, the better, so he wouldn't feel awkward facing two girls alone.

Upon hearing that Bian Guanyue was from Chengdu, Deng Jie immediately and warmly embraced her, recognizing her as a fellow townsman. She also kept Tao Xue in mind, telling Zhang Guoli, "The food where Tao Xue lives is especially spicy!"

“I know that. Isn’t Shen Fa’s hometown in Longdu? Tao Xue spoke to you in dialect just now, and I recognized her accent immediately,” Zhang Guoli said.

Deng Jie acted like an older sister and a caring aunt, holding Bian Guanyue and Tao Xue's hands on either side.

Chen Guiliang expressed his heartfelt gratitude for this.

(End of this chapter)