Huayu: Traffic is king

Chapter 162 The Evil Gardenia and Breaking Bad

"Gu Jingyi seemed especially happy to see his sister arrive."

He Jiong rested his chin on his hand, watching Gu Jingyi tease him with a grin.

After all, there were only three female guests on this episode: one was Zhao Jinmai, who was underage, and the other was Song Dandan, who was already married and had children, creating an age gap between them.

The task of creating a romantic pairing naturally fell to Zhang Zifeng.

"She is Shi Miao after all, so her older brother should spoil her a bit."

Gu Jingyi smiled, not giving anyone a reason to criticize.

He's not handsome, and Zifeng isn't exactly a beauty.

While it's fine to promote a romantic pairing for a movie, don't let yourself get dragged down with it.

"Brother, I'm hungry."

Zhang Zifeng rummaged through her stomach, looking at him with a pitiful expression. This girl had gone to pick corn with Peng Yuchang and Da Hua early that morning, and seemed genuinely tired.

"Little sister is hungry? Uncle Huang will make you a cup of monkey head mushroom rice porridge."

Teacher Huang had a sudden inspiration, and Zhang Zifeng froze.

He Jiong's face turned green, and the taste of that bowl of bitter, spicy, salty, and sticky rice porridge instantly turned upside down.

He almost vomited, but thankfully he managed to hold it in by pinching his palms.

"Haha, no need."

Zhang Zifeng said weakly, "I meant I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty. You misunderstood, I want to drink milk."

"Milkless" gave him a pleading look, and "Rotten Life Hua" instantly understood.

“My sister really loves drinking Mengniu milk; her record is drinking eight bottles in one day.”

Eight bottles?!

Song Dan looked surprised and quickly pulled Zhang Zifeng into his arms to examine her closely.

"Oh dear, you're such a little baby. Milk may taste good, but it can't replace a meal."

Not every bottle of milk is called Mengniu.

Peng Yuchang shook his head and finished reciting the advertising slogan.

"Little sister, would you call this intermittent fasting? It's about gradually fasting by consuming certain foods."

Gu Jingyi looked at her with a playful expression and teased her.

Among the weight loss methods of later generations, the most popular "intermittent fasting" involved people who ate more than a dozen ears of corn a day and posted them on social media with the caption "waiting to get thinner".

The meme "intermittent fasting = fasting on a certain type of food" also originated from this.

No wonder Zhang Zifeng's round face had become much thinner when we met again; she must have lost weight from starvation.

Gu Jingyi recalled an episode where a male guest brought golden thread cakes to the Mushroom House.

A table full of guests were eating hot pot, but Zhang Zifeng was the only one eating a golden thread pancake.

Old Lang was particularly surprised, thinking that Zhang Zifeng was just shy about picking up food.

He kept pulling Zhang Zifeng up, intending to switch places with her.

Zhang Zifeng, who was always good-tempered and well-mannered, turned red instantly and shook her hand in strong resistance.

"No, I really don't eat hot pot. I just love golden thread pancakes..."

Old Lang returned to his seat with some regret, while someone next to him counted how many golden thread pancakes Zhang Zifeng had eaten.

"The fourth one, this is the fourth one we've eaten."

At the time, Gu Jingyi thought these golden thread cakes were incredibly delicious, so he specially ordered a bag online.

After eating one, I put it on the table.

At the time, he thought he was just picky about food, but now it seems there was more to it than meets the eye.

Zhang Zifeng chose milk because it was the only safe food among all the dishes on the table.

Why didn't she continue drinking milk during the episode where she ate the golden thread pancakes? It was probably related to the plate of fried milk that Teacher Huang made; Zhang Zifeng's expression turned serious after just one bite.

Next, he hugged the golden thread cake so tightly that he forgot to drink his favorite Mengniu milk.

Her love for milk isn't just a persona; it's genuinely the only thing she can eat.

Some people gained weight while filming variety shows, while others lost weight by abstaining from milk for work.

"Brother, please stop teasing me at a time like this."

Zhang Zifeng's voice was soft, and it really sounded a little pitiful.

In some ways, Mushroom House is indeed a disguised version of The Truman Show.

Everyone was trying to please Teacher Huang and circling around him.

Even today, He Jiong still drinks that magical specially made rice porridge.

The gears of fate have turned, and a prank plan called "Evil Gardenia" has begun.

Seeing that they didn't give them a chance to perform, Teacher Huang gave up.

Just then, Da Hua and Peng Yuchang set off to pick corn for the second time.

Watching Da Hua's retreating figure, Song Dan suddenly asked, "How many ears of corn do Da Hua and the others need to pick to complete this task?"

"How many?" He Jiong replied with a smile, "One thousand."

"so much?"

Song Dan was quite surprised, "Then how about we skip the steak and have stewed meat with black beans instead?"

He Jiong had already thought of a certain possibility and exchanged a glance with Gu Jingyi.

Both of them guessed that Teacher Huang had never made this Northeastern dish before.

Actually, Mr. Huang's cooking isn't particularly bad; some of the home-style dishes he's made are quite tasty.

When he filmed "Where Are We Going, Dad?" with his daughter Duoduo, he earned the title of "National Little Chef" for his excellent cooking skills.

Children don't understand social etiquette like adults; if something tastes good, it tastes good, and if something tastes bad, it tastes bad.

However, in the Mushroom House, in order to show off his versatility, he insisted on making dishes he had never cooked before, which led to a series of disastrous failures.

I want to eat some lettuce.

Gu Jingyi immediately expressed his opinion, glancing at He Jiong and saying, "The roadshow for 'Take My Brother Away' is about to start, and I need to control my figure."

He Jiong immediately understood and said to the production team, "Then give us two more bunches of lettuce. How many ears of corn do we need for that?"

50 ears of corn

Soon, a staff member holding a megaphone relayed the program team's message.

Gu Jingyi nodded; the price of 50 ears of corn was indeed not expensive.

He can complete most of it in one go, without any difficulty.

However, to prevent any issues arising after the show airs regarding Gu Jingyi's request for additional dishes, given that he doesn't eat undercooked beans, they should be addressed.

Gu Jingyi still took the initiative to suggest, "Since I just ordered food, I'll go pick these 50 ears of corn with them."

"Xiao Gu, I'll go with you too."

Song Dan wanted to lend a hand, so she went to the cornfield with Gu Jingyi.

You could tell she was in a really good mood, singing as she walked.

Da Hua, who was still picking corn in the field, put down his work and looked up at the figure as the singing grew closer.

"Teacher Dandan!" Dahua, who was working while wearing a straw hat, smiled and approached Song Dandan as she walked closer.

"Jingyi, you're here too?"

Then he saw Gu Jingyi come over as well, and Da Hua grinned at him.

Many hands make light work, and with everyone's efforts, 350 ears of corn were quickly gathered.

After carrying the corn back to the hut, the group chatted while waiting for Teacher Huang to prepare the ingredients.

Song Dan glanced at He Jiong and suddenly asked curiously, "Teacher He, why is your name He Jiong?"

He Jiong was taken aback; it was the first time he had been asked this question on a TV show.

After realizing what was happening, he quickly smiled and said, "I have an older brother named He Hao, so when it's my turn, only He Jiong and He Dan are left."

Gu Jingyi clapped his hands and exclaimed with a smile, "It's a good thing you didn't name yourself He Dan. If you had named yourself Mushroom Cloud, you would have become really famous."

"Hey, look at this kid. Gu, are you really not from Beijing? You've got quite the sharp tongue."

Teacher Song Dan glanced at Gu Jingyi, quite surprised. "You're really not from Beijing. Teacher He and I are from the same place."

Gu Jingyi smiled and spoke, and He Jiong put his arm around Gu Jingyi's shoulder and praised, "I can testify that we people from Xingcheng are all this smart."

Time passed in laughter, and Teacher Huang, who had prepared the ingredients, began to cook.

That dreaded bean curd dish is about to be made.

As the pork belly, potatoes, and green beans were added to the pot one by one, the aroma of the pork belly wafted through the yard.

Teacher Huang couldn't wait to pick up a green bean and taste it, but after just one bite he realized something was wrong.

As time went by, even the potatoes were stewed until they were mushy.

The green beans remained firm, and sensing something was wrong, Teacher He kindly suggested picking them out.

But Teacher Huang insisted on taking the whole pot of food out.

This shows how much face can influence a person; even if you know there's a problem, you still have to sit at the table.

Gu Jingyi's lettuce dish was not complicated; the lettuce was simply blanched, steamed, and then drizzled with oyster sauce.

There were three dishes in total: scrambled eggs with tomatoes, blanched lettuce, and stewed green beans with meat.

Seeing that Zhao Jinmai was eager to try the braised pork with green beans, Gu Jingyi suddenly spoke up: "Sister Zifeng, could you please pass me two bottles of milk? Thank you."

"Okay," Zhang Zifeng, who was drinking milk, instantly understood Gu Jingyi's purpose.

A secret gleam lingered in her eyes, and even without any cooperation, Gu Jingyi was able to recognize the problem.

Does this mean the two people have the same tacit understanding?
Wuhu, it seems I've found another thing in common with him.

"Jingyi, you have hands, why don't you carry it yourself? Why do you always make your sister do it? Honestly."

Teacher Huang couldn't stand it anymore and started to cultivate a persona of "doting on his sister".

"She was sitting closest, and the food Teacher Huang made was absolutely delicious. Good food deserves a good drink, right?"

Gu Jingyi chuckled happily, showing no anger whatsoever.

This is something that will be rediscovered and revisited by countless people seven years from now.

"Teacher Huang, who do you like more, Duoduo or Zifeng?"

He Jiong also started to smooth things over, trying to cover for Teacher Huang.

"That's all the same. In my heart, Zifeng is just like my own daughter."

Gu Jingyi almost burst out laughing; that was a huge difference.

At least the food is edible.

As for Zifeng's dishes... just look at her nickname "Limitless Milk" and you'll know.

Who says my little sister is dull and cute? She's very smart!
After watching Zhao Jinmai drink a few sips of milk, her chopsticks still reached for the stewed green beans and pork.

Gu Jingyi's lips twitched, but he didn't say anything.

In any case, milk can detoxify to some extent.

He had done his best, but there was nothing he could do if Jinmai wouldn't listen.

"How about it?"

Teacher Huang looked at Zhao Jinmai with great anticipation.

Zhao Jinmai put it in her mouth and chewed it, then her face turned bitter.

I feel nauseous but dare not vomit; I've racked my brains trying to think of what to say.

He simply said, "These green beans are too old."

Teacher Huang's expression changed, and she was embarrassed and didn't know what to say.

He Jiong ate a green bean while saying, "Who says these beans are old? These beans are fantastic!"

Teacher He, always mindful of his mission to praise the food, would still compliment it even if he knew the taste was just average.

"Wow, this meat is so tender and soft."

Dahua ate the meat while praising it.

Gu Jingyi and Zhang Zifeng exchanged a glance and then tacitly began eating lettuce and scrambled eggs with tomatoes.

Song Dan's son, Batu, ate with great relish, as it was the only meat dish on the table.

Even if the taste is just average, the portion is large and filling.

A mother's love is as strong as a mountain. Song Dan gently patted her son's chopsticks, almost implying that he should eat fewer green beans to conserve his energy.

Unfortunately, her son didn't understand, and Song Dan was too embarrassed to point out the situation.

"Xiao Gu, you never eat much. Are you embarrassed? Come on, eat some meat!"

Teacher Huang made new demands on Gu Jingyi, just like conducting a compliance test.

"I really can't eat. After I finish recording the show, I still have to go on a promotional tour. There are very strict requirements for appearing on camera, and if I gain weight, it will be very obvious."

Gu Jingyi shrugged, refusing to eat.

"Hey, that's really something."

Teacher Huang was getting a little impatient; this was the first time he had ever encountered a guest who dared to confront him like this.

"I'm full, I really won't eat anymore."

Gu Jingyi wiped his mouth; he hadn't touched the green beans at all the entire time.

He Jiong suddenly couldn't even hold his chopsticks properly; he was doomed.

Gu Jingyi didn't eat any, which meant he must have realized the problem.

This kid is incredibly shrewd and usually very adept at social maneuvering. The fact that he wouldn't give Huang Lei any face means he must have sensed something was wrong.

"Teacher He, would you like some Mengniu milk?"

Gu Jingyi didn't point it out and handed it over.

"drink"

Teacher He practically spat out this word through gritted teeth, hoping that the milk could reduce some of the toxicity.

He didn't eat much after that and put down his chopsticks.

Teacher Huang was unhappy again. "Jiong Jiong hasn't eaten much today. I'm going to go find some kimchi."

Then, he came out carrying a large jar of moldy kimchi as if it were a priceless treasure.

"Teacher He, why don't you give it a try?"

He Jiong's face was practically frozen; the urge to kill someone was truly impossible to hide in his eyes.

His position gave him a perfect view of the room, and he could clearly see that Teacher Huang took a bite of the moon first.

She then casually carried him out, intending to let him eat anyway.

The familiar feeling of elder abuse in nursing homes resurfaced, and he was about to lose control.

This time, Da Hua didn't take a bite for him, and Teacher He's face turned green after eating the kimchi.

The milk I just drank doesn't seem to have much of an effect.

After dinner, a group of people sang songs while watching the night view in an open-air setting.

Gu Jingyi sang a short excerpt from the theme song of "Take My Brother Away," and everyone praised how well it sounded.

Soon it was evening, and Gu Jingyi fell into a deep sleep.

Everyone who ate the bean curd experienced a reaction.

Teacher He didn't react much; he was still carrying out the evil Gardenia Plan.

That's called "praise to death," and the more excessive the praise, the less food you'll have to consume.

It's also possible that he secretly induced vomiting, which is why Teacher He didn't react.

Only Song Dandan and Teacher Huang ate the most and had the strongest reactions.

Some things become more valuable with age. Some things become more toxic with age.

The green beans, which were the same age as Song Dandan, started acting up in the stomachs of the two unlucky guys.

Song Dan had been politely avoiding mentioning food poisoning until the symptoms worsened, at which point she suddenly said, "I need to have my stomach pumped."

Gu Jingyi's eyelashes trembled slightly as he silently watched the drama unfold.

(End of this chapter)