Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 272 Don't Panic

Tang Xuanci suddenly realized, but instead of being angry, he was delighted. In the manner of a great man, he pointed to the old baby next to him and laughed:

"Naive. They're just a few old auction items. If you like them, honey, I'll buy them all for you."

Hearing the man call her "baby" again and try to woo her in this domineering and wealthy way, Li Shan Lao Mu's girlish heart couldn't help but flutter again.

But she still raised her eyebrows, her eyes showing disdain, and snorted coldly:
"What nonsense are you spouting? If you're so capable, sit here until the auction ends. Don't be so scared that you can't sit still and run away with your tail between your legs later."

Tang Xuanci secretly recalled the auction items he had seen in the catalog. Although he had been distracted by the old nun and hadn't looked closely, he figured there were only seven items in total... He should be able to handle it, right?
Damn it, I've already sat down. If I get scared away, I'll have no energy left and I'll be useless!

After thinking it over, he steeled his resolve and burst into wild laughter:

Hahahaha.

"Would I be so scared I couldn't sit still? Besides, I'm not a monkey, I don't have a tail, I only have a...!"
As he spoke, he leaned back in his chair, his posture languid and sexy, and continued:
"Don't worry, baby, I'll definitely take pictures of everything you have today."

Seeing the man who had completely let go of his inhibitions and no longer pretended to be a virtuous monk, Old Mother Lishan was so angry she gritted her teeth:

"You? Do you even know where you are? I'll see if your skin is as thick as your mouth later!"

"What place? Isn't this the place of that harlot, the Queen Mother of the West?"

Seeing his calm demeanor, the old mother asked suspiciously:

"You wouldn't be thinking of pawning those two precious cauldrons I swindled out of, just to get money to show off to me, would you?"

"Hehe, how could that be? That was a token of our love that you gave me, how could your husband pawn it?"

Tang Xuanci vomited out the two cauldrons after ruminating for a moment, and placed them on the armrest:

"I've already said it, what I like is your body and your unwavering devotion."

"I was afraid of losing you before, so I had to pretend to be a poor monk like Jin Chanzi. Did you really think I was dating a rich woman?"
"Just sit there and watch quietly. Today, your husband will make up for all the pampering I've missed!"

Ah this?

The old woman of Lishan is at her wit's end again.

She has lived for thousands of years and has always appeared in front of all immortals and demons as a domineering rich woman. She has never seen a man who is so "domineering" towards her.

Seeing that she didn't speak, Tang Xuanci immediately changed the subject, revealing his true intentions:
"but……

"I've taken pictures of all these treasures and given them to you. Shouldn't you reciprocate in kind?"

"Hehe, my husband doesn't ask for much, just kiss me in public, okay?"

Upon hearing this, not only was Old Mother Lishan stunned, but even Zhenzhen, Ai'ai, and Lianlian, who were serving behind her, were taken aback, unable to imagine what the scene would have been like.

They had assumed that their grandmother would never agree and would refuse immediately.

Unexpectedly, the Old Mother of Lishan did not comment but instead asked in return:
"What if you can't take a picture?"

Upon hearing this, Tang Xuanci was secretly delighted, and his immediate response was "Whatever."

But the beaker that had been running in "APU" mode gave him another high-level response.

Tang Xuanci immediately adopted the suggestion, his lips instantly straightening, his smile fading, his words revealing three parts deep affection, three parts resolute determination, and four parts heart-wrenching sorrow, as he said:

"If I can't capture the moment, I'll disappear from your sight immediately. From now on, wherever you appear, I will disappear."

Ah this? !
Upon hearing this, the young woman's heart trembled three times.

In fact, based on her thousands of years of experience in business in the immortal realm and her understanding of the distribution of wealth in the three realms, she was absolutely certain that Tang Xuanci could not possibly bid on everything today.

In terms of value, the Saint Buddha chessboard in this auction can only rank third or fourth at best.

The two most valuable items had already been considered by the representatives of the other major forces on the third floor as things they were determined to obtain.

Knowing full well that he couldn't win the bid, Old Mother Lishan was speechless for a moment and couldn't utter a word.

Will he no longer be where I am in the future?

Isn't this exactly what I wanted? But why do I feel so uneasy?

At that moment, she truly realized that she was actually... afraid.

After a long silence, she took a deep breath and finally replied:
"Okay, remember what you said."

His voice trembled slightly, like the cracked surface of a lake, difficult yet resolute.

On the stage below, the old master of ceremonies had already begun introducing the first item to be auctioned—a Sumeru jade bracelet.

Such portable spatial artifacts are absolutely essential items in the upper-class immortal realm.

Tang Xuanci even included it in the organization's list of top-level strategic equipment, thinking the more the better, ideally building thousands of nuclear missile silos inside so he could carry them with him.

But the ideal is very full, and the reality is very skinny.

After all that robbing and deception, they've only managed to get five or six items. All that money combined doesn't even amount to a single large apartment with a river view.

Moreover, after investigation, it was found that to create such a magical artifact, one must first go deep underground to find a naturally occurring substance called "Sumeru Black Seed".

This thing looks a bit like a small black hole, moves like a ball lightning, can pass through walls and burrow underground, is unpredictable, and is quite dangerous, making it extremely costly to search for.

Finding the Sumeru Black Seed requires sending it to one of the few magic weapon factories in the Three Realms, where a huge sum of money is spent to seal it into a device and activate the Anywhere Door, making the manufacturing cost extremely high.

Finally, the Sumeru space beyond the Anywhere Door is completely unpredictable.

Like gambling on jade, before activating the portal, you have absolutely no idea how big the space on the other side is, whether the layout is regular, whether it leaks lava, or even whether there's any space at all...

Most importantly, destroying the stone wall of the Sumeru space will very likely cause the Sumeru black spot to collapse, rendering the magic weapon useless.

In other words, if the opened space is completely unusable, then we have no choice but to accept it, as the sunk costs are extremely high.

Adding all these costs together, it directly resulted in the Sumeru magic treasures with large spaces and good layouts becoming luxury items in the celestial realm.

The item currently being auctioned has a very regular layout, and its space is four or five times larger than the Sumeru thumb ring that Tang Xuanci extorted from the wet nurse, and about the same size as the Sumeru jade plate that Wu Shao has.

The jade bracelet itself is much lighter than the huge jade plate, and its design is luxurious and exquisite. Even if it were placed in the jewelry box of the Old Mother of Lishan, it would be considered top-grade.

It has to be said that Tianyang Pavilion's choice to place such an item first as a warm-up is perfectly appropriate.

Sure enough, after the old master of ceremonies finished his introduction in a few words, a mountain lord from Dongsheng Shenzhou immediately raised the price to one hundred million yuan.

As soon as he finished speaking, other celestial officials, demon kings, wealthy gods, and mountain lords raised their bids one after another, each time by at least ten million.

The price surged until it broke through the 200 million mark, finally pausing for a few seconds.

Upon seeing this, the old master of ceremonies immediately pointed to Tang Xuanci below the Solitary Sky Lantern and spoke up to raise the price to 210 million.

"Three hundred million."

Good heavens, this incredibly wealthy guy from who-knows-where is speaking, and he's clearly targeting me, uttering a completely emotionless tone.

"Oh?"

Seeing that the price had broken 300 million in less than a minute, the monkey immediately used advanced mathematics to secretly add up the gold and silver treasures stolen on the journey to the West, the stolen money seized from the demon-slaying campaign in Azhou, and the Azhou fiscal funds he had heard from Sha Dingtian. Then, he subtracted the huge expenditures on building factories and cities during this period, and couldn't help but frown and say:

"This is just the first item, a pretty useless broken bracelet, and it's already worth 300 million. Are you sure... you have enough money?"

Tang Xuanci remained silent, but he had to admit in his heart that he had indeed underestimated the powerful and wealthy immortals present.

After all, they're all rich people. Using a thousand-yuan bottle of mineral water to cook five-hundred-yuan instant noodles is just a game for them. If they get carried away with their temper, spending a hundred million more is perfectly normal.

However, he still elegantly lit a bottle of Hibiscus King cigarette from the Heavenly Palace Hibiscus Garden, lightly exhaled the smoke, and said calmly:

"Don't panic."

The Old Mother of Lishan glanced at the master and his disciple, clearly sensing their panic.

However, though he let out a laugh, he couldn't feel happy at all.

(End of this chapter)