Tang Dynasty Bandits

Chapter 176 Humiliation
There's no point in seriously arguing with someone who's spouting nonsense with a straight face.

According to folklore, when Zhuge Liang first launched his Northern Expedition, he once verbally abused Wang Lang, the Minister of Works, to death. Faced with Wang Lang's grand and righteous rhetoric, Prime Minister Zhuge Liang launched a personal attack, causing Wang Lang to vomit blood, fall from his horse, and die of anger.

Faced with the witch Youdi's sharp and witty remarks, Zhu Wen was by no means without a rebuttal.

However, lengthy explanations of reasoning often diminish the power of words.

Zhu Wen initially intended to humiliate the other party with the description of "eyes deeper than the Xiang River, nostrils higher than Mount Hua," a phrase often used by people with traditional Tang Dynasty aesthetics. However, he quickly realized that this would inadvertently offend his young lover, Tian Jun. A thought flashed through his mind, and he immediately came up with an idea.

Zhu Wen twitched his nostrils, then suddenly covered his nose with his hand, his brows furrowing: "How awful! Where is this foul, rancid smell coming from? It's more like rancid mutton fat."

His gaze was fixed on You Di's face, as if he were looking at something strange.

Some locals, not afraid of stirring up trouble, were still watching from several feet away. They were all wondering what strange things this young man was saying. The beautiful Hu woman had a distinct fragrance that could be smelled clearly even from this distance.

But the Dragon Sparrow Blade in Zhu Wen's hand, gleaming with a blood-red light, made them dare not speak recklessly.

Both sides are wielding swords and knives; if one is not careful, the sharp edge might brush against one's body, and one could easily lose an arm or a leg.

Seeing that You Di's expression remained charming as usual, Zhu Wen said, "What a pity, even such a strong fragrance can't hide the dryness under Hua Wang's arms. Unlike my Jun Mei, who only has a natural and pleasant fragrance."

When Tian Jun heard Zhu Wen praise her, she couldn't help but puff out her chest with pride.

To be honest, she didn't know she had a natural body odor before she met Zhu Wen.

Natural body odor is not just a figment of writers' imaginations; it actually exists and isn't unique to women—many men also possess it. It's just that women's natural body odor tends to be stronger.

Unfortunately, body odor and sweat primarily originate from areas prone to sweating, such as the armpits, neck, behind the ears, and chest. This means that to smell a pleasant body odor, certain conditions are generally required. If you sweat even slightly, the natural scent will be masked by body odor.

Some people are particularly obsessed with the scent of the opposite sex, and may even develop a liking for the body odor of the opposite sex.

Zhu Wen had a keen sense of smell and noticed early on that Tian Jun had a faint wheat fragrance on her body after she washed herself.

The other beauties he knew also had a natural fragrance. Lan Suting, as her surname suggested, had a faint orchid scent, while Zhuoying smelled like night-blooming jasmine. As for his junior sister, Duan Hongyan, she always exuded a strong rose fragrance, probably due to her unique constitution.

The scent on You Di is always changing; it's different every time she appears.

But when he held Youdi hostage at close range, Zhu Wen finally noticed something strange beneath the fragrance, like a Western noblewoman using strong rose water to mask the smell of fox fur.

Most Tang people did not have a fox-like odor, and Tian Jun, because her paternal lineage was half Han Chinese, did not inherit it. Among non-Han people, the greater the difference in appearance from Han people, the higher the proportion of fox-like odor. For example, among the Sengqi slaves, who were even darker than Kunlun slaves, 99 out of 100 had fox-like odor.

With her blonde hair and blue eyes, Yu Di's proportion of fox fur is also surprisingly high.

Seeing the sudden change in You Di's eyes, Zhu Wen knew that his judgment was correct.

Using physical defects to attack someone is unkind, but quite effective.

Especially for a beauty like Kao Yudi, whose appearance and figure seem flawless.

Moreover, there was something Zhu Wen didn't know—You Di didn't actually have any natural body fragrance. Her scent was emitted after she cultivated the "Heavenly Fragrance Whirlwind" demonic art of the Demonic Sect, which consumed her vital energy. This was why You Di's body fragrance could change so many times.

Upon hearing this, Tian Jun burst into laughter, then looked at You Di with a funny expression: "Hahahaha... You vain woman, you even have a foxy smell, it's hilarious!"

Seeing You Diru's expression after taking a big bite of wasabi, Zhu Wen's expression became even more relaxed.

"It is a good thing that I have pointed out the knot in the heart of the Flower King today. If the Flower King can face his physical imperfections with equanimity in the future and not try to cover them up, his state of mind and spiritual practice will both reach a higher level."

"Unfortunately, my cultivation level is not high enough to pass this test. I can only politely decline the Flower King's kind offer."

"Speaking nonsense with a straight face, huh? Well, I can do that too, who's afraid of who?" Many of the onlookers had no idea what "fox-fried" meant, and they started discussing it amongst themselves.

"What exactly is this 'fox-like irritation' that this young master speaks of? I've never heard of it before."

"Is it just body odor? Everyone has it, why are you being so aggressive?"

"No, no." A scholar in white robes waved his folding fan, his eyes gleaming with a sly, cat-like smugness. "Fox-like restlessness is the restlessness of the barbarians. We Han people don't have fox-like restlessness, so of course you don't know."

"Now we understand. Could it be the muttony smell of the barbarians from the northern deserts?"

The scholar in white shook his head and said, "That's not it either. The smell of mutton comes from eating mutton, not from fox venom. There are more people with fox venom among the northern nomads than among the Han Chinese, but far fewer among the nomads of the Western Regions."

"The more you talk about it, the less I understand. Those officials eat mutton every meal, so how come they don't have a muttony smell?"

"We Han Chinese bleed the sheep before eating it and add spices, so naturally we don't taste the muttony smell. The northern barbarians eat it whole, blood and all, so how come they don't get the muttony smell?"

Hearing these people's comments, You Di trembled with anger, wishing she could skin Zhu Wen alive and eat him whole, blood and all.

Anger is a common emotion, but laughter is unpredictable. You Di was originally an unpredictable person.

It takes skill for Zhu Wen to be able to provoke her to such an extent every time.

Unfortunately, she was now being held hostage by Zhu Wen, and she didn't even have the confidence to hurl insults back.

However, seeing Youdi's sullen expression, Zhu Wen felt extremely happy.

When this woman was alluring and charming, he felt nothing. But seeing You Di's angry and out-of-control state, Zhu Wen found a certain intrigue in this femme fatale.

Even the Kaohsiung woman is still a woman, and she will get angry after being humiliated. If she could truly be so detached from emotions, it would be too boring.

After a period of standoff, the sound of horses' hooves rapidly approached.

“Reinforcements must have arrived,” Zhu Wen said to Tian Jun.

"Boss, General Tian, ​​Military Advisor Lan, are you alright?" Huo Cun's loud voice could be heard clearly from half a mile away.

Lan Suting, who was being held hostage by the enemy, calmly replied, "It's alright. Hua Wang has captured Sister He Jun! We can exchange her for me."

Youdi had calmed down by now and said to Zhu Wen with a charming smile, "Now we should change people. If we drag this out any longer, you'll have more reinforcements, and we'll be wiped out in one fell swoop. If that happens, we might as well let the ladies leave them alone."

Zhu Wen pondered for a moment, then shoved You Di away forcefully.

He suddenly had the urge to kick Youdi in the butt, but ultimately restrained himself. Even for a wicked woman like Youdi, it would still damage his own dignity.

With her hands bound, Youdi slowly walked back to her own team. At the same time, Lan Suting was also released and ran over with a smile on her face.

Zhu Wen pointed a powerful crossbow brought by Huo Cun at You Di's back. If the enemy were to ambush Lan Suting, their side could also fire arrows.

After the hostage exchange was completed, You Di and the others disappeared into the dark night under the watchful eyes of Zhu Wen and his group.

Zhu Wen turned to Huo Cun and asked, "Where is Zhu Zhen? Is he too badly injured to move?"

"No, that's not true," Huo Cun said. "Zhu Zhen, Dong Hou, Ge Congzhou, and the others went to the mountain pass in advance to ambush them, determined not to let those vicious women return alive!"

She added, "Zhu Zhen also said that if the other side didn't ride horses through the mountain pass, it would be even easier. If the time drags on any longer, our army will come in large numbers to search for them, and none of them will be able to escape."

(End of this chapter)