Three Kingdoms: I am not Liu Bian

Chapter 257 Liu Bian: Roll them up! Roll them all up for me!!!
The first day of the second month of the first year of Hanxing.
The officials rose early to prepare for court at the Jiade Hall, but were informed by Gao Wang, a eunuch waiting outside the Jiade Gate, that the Emperor was unwell and court was suspended.

Wearing a fox fur cloak, Lu Zhi frowned slightly and said, "Ding Huangmen, what illness does the Emperor have? Has the Imperial Medical Bureau treated him?"

The other officials also surrounded Gao Wang, especially the several high-ranking ministers who had married their daughters to the emperor.

If such a promising new emperor, who was expected to revitalize the Han Dynasty, were to suddenly fall seriously ill and die young, that would be quite a spectacle.

Gao Wang naturally wanted to inform the officials about the emperor's illness to prevent them from making any unfounded assumptions.

"Grand Tutor, do not worry. Imperial Physician Zhang Zhongjing has examined the Emperor. He was just sweating profusely after practicing martial arts yesterday morning. It happened to be early spring and there was a cold snap. We servants did not take good care of him, and he caught a cold and had a runny nose." Gao Wang hesitated for a moment, then added, "It was the Empress Dowager who, upon hearing this, asked the Emperor to rest until he recovered, which is why the Emperor had to suspend court."

"I see. Then there should be no major problem." Lu Zhi nodded slightly, turned to face the officials, and said, "In that case, all officials may return to their offices. I will go and visit the Emperor."

As the head of all officials, Lu Zhi naturally had the authority to dismiss all officials on behalf of the emperor. The emperor seemed to have anticipated this as well, and Gao Wang replied, "The emperor has issued an edict that if the Grand Tutor wishes to visit the sick, he may go directly to visit him."

Before long, Lu Zhi got back into the carriage, only to see Gao Wang leading Lu Zhi's carriage on horseback. When they passed the crossroads, they did not continue westward to Hanxing Palace, but instead turned onto the covered walkway and headed towards the North Palace.

If the visitor hadn't been Gao Wang, a trusted eunuch who had served the emperor since childhood, Lu Zhi would have surely suspected that the retired emperor in the Northern Palace was preparing a coup to seize power again.

"The Grand Tutor will know once he arrives."

Gao Wang led Lu Zhi's carriage into the North Palace, then drove north all the way to Fanglin Garden, and then walked to the vicinity of Tianyuan Pond.

Tianyuan Pond is a giant man-made lake that connects to the Yangshui River north of Luoyang City. Lu Zhi, along with a group of Right Martial Guard soldiers, boarded a pleasure boat and went up to the Fishing Platform Hall in the center of Tianyuan Pond.

Sure enough, Lu Zhi had a general idea of ​​what was going on as soon as he heard that the emperor was ill.

He knew this disciple's temperament all too well. Although he wouldn't know anything just by looking at him, this disciple was definitely extremely protective of his own.

There were no important topics at this grand court assembly. Holding the grand court assembly was nothing more than listening to a group of people impeach Tian Fen and their group of ministers who were responsible for teaching the crown prince etiquette. So when he heard that the emperor was ill and had suspended court, he roughly guessed what was going on.

Look, not only is he not sick, but he's also fishing here with several concubines.

"Master Lu, if there's nothing else, you can go back now. I rarely get a few days off."

Liu Bian saw his teacher from afar, and without any formality, he had all the concubines pay their respects to Lu Zhi before sending Lu Zhi back to the Ministry of Personnel to work.

He and his concubines had a rare opportunity to stroll around Fanglin Garden, and Lu Zhi, seeing that he was no longer ill, could leave.

Otherwise, if the emperor and Grand Tutor Lu Zhi were not present, who would handle all these official duties?
Lu Zhi suppressed his anger and tried to comfort himself.

He is the emperor, you can't hit him, you can't hit him, you absolutely can't hit him!

But Lu Zhi, who was getting angrier the more he thought about it, suddenly stepped forward. Just as Liu Bian was about to call for Xu Chu to protect the emperor, Lu Zhi grabbed the bucket containing the emperor's fishing spoils and left. Before leaving, he said "You brat" and jumped onto the pleasure boat, telling the boatman to set sail immediately.

When Lu Zhi returned to the Imperial Secretariat, the officials there saw that the Grand Tutor was carrying a bucket containing six carp, and they couldn't help but envy the friendship between the Grand Tutor and the Emperor.

When the emperor fell ill, the Grand Tutor went to visit him, and the emperor rewarded him with six plump carp.

Although it was not a lavish gift, the more ordinary the item was, the more it demonstrated the close relationship between the emperor and Lu Zhi, showing that the emperor did not treat the Grand Tutor as an outsider.

However, perhaps because the emperor was ill, even though he was given six plump carp, the Grand Tutor was in a bad mood. He reprimanded several ministers and vice ministers early in the morning. Even Liu Yan, Cui Lie and Liu Tao were startled by Lu Zhi's aggressiveness today.

With the appointment of Cui Lie, the Minister of Works in charge of the Secretariat, the situation in the Secretariat has become increasingly murky, exacerbating the three-way power struggle within the Secretariat.

Although Lu Zhi, the Grand Tutor, was the head of all officials and had the power to oversee the affairs of the Secretariat, he could not act beyond Liu Tao, the Minister of the Secretariat, and was also restricted by Liu Yan, the Minister of Works, and Cui Lie, who were also overseeing the affairs of the Secretariat. Although Liu Tao had the advantage of having his own territory, he was also restricted by Lu Zhi, Liu Yan, and Cui Lie and could not act as he pleased.

The Grand Tutor, the Three Dukes, and the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat were constantly vying for power within the Imperial Secretariat.

Fortunately, these people are all reasonable and won't oppose for the sake of opposition; at most, they just disagree on certain issues.

Such matters, which have been debated for a long time without a conclusion, will eventually be reported to the judge, Liu Bian.

After consulting with the Attendant-in-Ordinary, Liu Bian made decisions based on various suggestions from the Secretariat and the Attendant-in-Ordinary, making it impossible for any single official in charge of the Secretariat to concentrate power.

Five days later, the emperor's "illness" was "cured".

After "recovering," Liu Bian found himself missing the days of reviewing memorials. He spent two hours reviewing memorials before standing up, stretching, and preparing to inspect the various government offices and departments.

The Ministry of Personnel remained the same as before, except for the addition of many newly appointed officials. Everyone looked busy and had lost their scholarly demeanor, instead running all the way.

The Censorate was much more relaxed, since the censors couldn't impeach people for no reason; they could only do so when something happened.

Liu Bian didn't go to the Three Dukes' Office. Grand Commandant Yang Ci was bedridden, and Liu Yan and Cui Lie were both holed up in the Secretariat, so there was no need for them to go to the Three Dukes' Office.

Meanwhile, Liu Bian thoroughly toured the Nine Ministers' Office, which was adjacent to the Three Dukes' Office. Chen Lin, the Vice Minister of the Imperial Household Department, Qian Zhao, the Vice Minister of the Imperial Guard, and Zhang Hong, the Vice Minister of Agriculture, were all former officials of the Crown Prince's Office, so he naturally had to make a special trip to inspect them.

Upon entering the Nine Ministers' Office, Liu Bian was struck by the officials' hurried manner and their hasty departures, which were even somewhat rude. However, Liu Bian did not take offense.

There are many young people in the Nine Ministers' Office, and the average age of the officials in the Nine Ministers' Office is estimated to be much lower than in the past.

Liu Bian liked to appoint young people to official positions. The young people who entered the court for the first time had enthusiasm that the old ministers did not have, and they also had the ideal of restoring the Han Dynasty.

Besides the generals and officers of the central army and the prefects who were sent to other prefectures, there were also many officials in Luoyang, the capital, who were placed in the Ministry of Personnel and the Nine Ministers' Offices.

Having grown accustomed to the high-speed administrative efficiency of the Crown Prince's residence, this habit naturally carried over to the various government offices and bureaus of the imperial court.

Although the court still has dedicated veterans like Lu Zhi, Liu Yan, Xun Shuang, Zheng Xuan, and Cai Yong, many other officials have become somewhat lazy in their duties, or have been influenced by the prevailing atmosphere of officialdom and have gradually become corrupt.

Although Liu Bian stirred things up and cleared the blockage, the stagnant water gradually came to life, but it was still filled with a musty smell.

A new dynasty must have a new look, and the many young former officials and clerks of the Crown Prince's Palace are like a refreshing stream of water being injected into the court. In turn, these people recruited many young subordinates, injecting even more vitality into the court.

The energy of young people can influence veteran officials, but not many veteran officials are actively recruited after being infected by this energy; most are simply swept along by the tide.

When a routine matter is assigned, such as the emperor wanting to lower the price of salt, the order is issued to the Ministry of Civil Affairs and the Ministry of Agriculture. First, someone must conduct a detailed investigation into the salt prices in various regions to confirm the previously chaotic prices. Then, the current production costs of salt in each region must be confirmed, and the appropriate profit margin must be discussed. Finally, the most suitable price to lower the price must be determined.

Finally, the price stabilization order confirmed a suitable price and reported it to the Grand Minister of Agriculture, Cao Song. The Grand Minister of Agriculture then discussed the matter with Feng Fang, the new Minister of Civil Affairs who succeeded Zhang Xi, and arrived at a conclusion.

Then, Chen Lin, the Grand Minister of Agriculture, quickly discussed with the Price Stabilization Commissioner and the Price Stabilization Assistant Commissioner a plan to investigate salt prices in various places. The assistants of the Grand Minister of Agriculture rode fast horses, traveling at least 300 li a day at a speed that almost wore their thighs raw. After investigating the cost price and selling price of salt, they simply applied medicine to their wounds, wrapped them in bandages, and put on a soft cushion before hurriedly returning to the Grand Minister of Agriculture in Luoyang.

The process, which normally takes at least three months, was completed in less than a month. The market research on the cost and selling price of salt in various counties, from near to far, was sent to the Ministry of Civil Affairs and the Ministry of Agriculture. Only the final approval from the Minister of Civil Affairs and the Ministry of Agriculture was needed.

It wasn't until reports from western Liangzhou, southern Yizhou, and Youzhou arrived that the officials in charge of civil affairs and the Ministry of Agriculture began to marvel at the efficiency and speed of these assistants. Cao Song was truly overwhelmed. The emperor was focused on increasing productivity across the country, with the government monopolizing salt and iron, constructing water conservancy projects, and distributing the cattle obtained from the two major battles in Liangzhou and Bingzhou to various counties for the people to rent for free to cultivate the land. He was simultaneously making money and spending it, and Cao Song was almost dizzy with work. He lost a lot of weight and was no longer as plump as before.

After listening to Zhang Hong's report, Cao Song waved his hand and delegated the power to Zhang Hong, the Assistant Minister of Agriculture, to handle the matter. He also delegated a large number of affairs to Zhang Hong, giving him almost half of the power of the Minister of Agriculture.

Feng Fang, on the other hand, really didn't care.

Following the usual procedure, Feng Fang thought he only needed to leisurely drink a cup of roasted tea, eat a couple of pastries, and casually flip through a few research reports. He figured that reading one report a day would take about three months for the assistants of the Grand Minister of Agriculture to complete the research reports from all the prefectures across the country.

But when Feng Fangcai was reading the twenty-fifth book, he had just finished drinking tea and eating pastries, and the crumbs of pastries were still stuck to his fingers. He hadn't had time to clean them off when he heard Zhang Hong, the Vice Minister of Agriculture, say that Zhen Yi, the Pingzhun Ling of the Ministry of Agriculture, and his assistants had already taken care of all the matters. He hadn't even had time to read the survey reports from the remaining eighty prefectures.

Such situations were commonplace. These veteran officials also had their pride. Once or twice was fine, but after a while, they couldn't withstand the increasingly surprised, disapproving, and even slightly contemptuous gazes of the younger generation.

The old ministers, who were too proud to continue slacking off, were swept up in this trend. Feng Fang stayed up for two nights to finish reading the remaining eighty research reports, barely managing to salvage his image as the newly appointed Minister of Civil Affairs in the court.

When the central government was mobilized, the officials in local prefectures and counties suffered greatly.

During this period, Feng Fang, the Minister of Civil Affairs responsible for controlling local salt prices and constructing water conservancy projects, even asked Liang Hu, the Minister of Personnel, to give negative reviews to the annual evaluations of the prefects of several counties, on the grounds of laziness in governance.

Liu Bian estimated that if things continued like this, in a few months the entire Han Empire, from the central court to local prefectures, counties, and even villages, would be forced into chaos.

When the entire court is mobilized, administrative efficiency will see a comprehensive improvement.

The emperor was pleased with this new atmosphere in the court and said that this was the new look that a new dynasty should have. Therefore, in order to improve the administrative efficiency of the court officials, he decided to establish a canteen for the government offices.

Previously, considering that the relocation to Hanxing Palace would be too far from the Ministry of Personnel and the Imperial Library, Liu Bian simply ordered Gao Wang to clear out the two halls on the east side of the South Palace that were closest to the Canglong Gate. After some minor renovations to the internal structure and the removal of a few wooden doors, the halls could be vacated for the censors of the Ministry of Personnel and the Imperial Library to work in.

Since they no longer worked at the Imperial Archives, the Imperial Archives was renamed the Censorate.

The Secretariat and the Censorate, which were located within the palace grounds, were separated from the offices of the Three Dukes and Nine Ministers by only one Azure Dragon Gate.

Liu Bian ordered the Taiguanling (official in charge of food) to set up a government-run canteen outside the palace gate, deducting one shi (a unit of dry measure) of rice from each official's monthly salary as a food expense, which would be provided by the canteen daily.

Previously, the Han dynasty had not been responsible for the officials' meals. After their shifts ended, the officials would go home to eat or eat at nearby restaurants. However, some people lived far away, and the journey back and forth would take up a lot of time. Even if the officials were given a rest time at noon, they often did not get enough rest and spent it all on the road.

Initially, many officials were somewhat averse to the emperor setting up a canteen, especially the lowest-ranking officials with a salary of 100 shi (a unit of grain), who received 800 coins and 4 shi and 8 dou of grain per month. This was undoubtedly a huge expense for them.

However, when the dining hall was filled with dishes prepared by the imperial chefs, those slight resentments disappeared.

The food served was made with fine rice, along with a variety of meats, fish, and vegetables, as well as various dishes from the thirteen provinces of the Han Dynasty, allowing officials from all over the country to enjoy hometown dishes they had not tasted for a long time.

Although it was a communal meal, and therefore not as elaborate as the dishes served at imperial banquets, the emperor ordered the imperial chefs to cook stir-fries!

The thin iron wok used for stir-frying tea, which is produced in rare quantities, is used to cook stir-fries with refined animal fat oil!
The large woks allowed for fast cooking and extremely efficient serving; serving hundreds or even thousands of people was nothing to the imperial chefs.

Even with this unprecedented cooking method, the communal cooking won over everyone's taste buds. Even Yang Biao, the newly appointed Prefect of Henan from a family that had held high office for three generations, exclaimed, "This taste is unparalleled in the world."

Besides the delicious food, the cafeteria offers unlimited meals. You can eat as much as five or six people's worth of food as Dian Wei. After the meal, there are also delicious fruits and fried tea. Just don't waste any.

Officials can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the canteen. In the morning, they can have fresh milk, goat milk, and eggs, along with a variety of breakfast dishes. In the afternoon, they can also receive a pastry and tea. Officials who work overtime can also enjoy a delicious late-night snack.

In addition, Liu Bian also established travel subsidies for all officials. For example, the assistant officials who went to 105 counties of the Han Dynasty last month to investigate the price and cost of salt received bonuses and corresponding rest holidays based on their travel distance and region.

As for the medical expenses for these officials who chafed their thighs while riding horses, there were none. Before Liu Bian, the Han Dynasty had already allowed officials to go to the Imperial Medical Bureau to see a doctor on their own.

If it is inconvenient to go there, one can ask a servant to request the Imperial Medical Bureau to send a physician to provide consultations. No consultation fee or medicine fee will be paid. The medicine will be provided from the warehouse of the Imperial Medical Bureau. The physicians of the Imperial Medical Bureau will also regularly go out to provide follow-up consultations for patients.

At the same time, the emperor required all government offices and bureaus in the capital to conduct secret ballots. Based on the total number of tasks handled by each person in each month as recorded in the bureau's records, as well as the voting results within the bureau, a comprehensive score was made. The emperor and the heads of each bureau jointly selected the "outstanding officials" and "outstanding clerks" for each month, each quarter, and even each year.

If a junior clerk receives the title of "Outstanding Clerk of the Month" three times within a year, he can be promoted one rank at the beginning of the following year, from a junior clerk with a rank of 100 shi to a rank of 200 shi within the same government office, or be promoted two ranks and sent to a lower county to serve as a county magistrate or county lieutenant.

If one can obtain the title of "Outstanding Clerk of the Quarter", one will be promoted two ranks within the government office, or promoted three ranks and transferred to a county outside the government office. One can choose between serving as a county magistrate or county lieutenant in a medium-sized county and serving as a county head in a lower-sized county.

If one can obtain the title of "Outstanding Clerk of the Year", one will be promoted three ranks within the office and directly become a senior official, or promoted four ranks and transferred to a county outside the office, where one can choose between serving as a county magistrate or county lieutenant in a superior county and serving as the county magistrate in a medium county.

Formal officials, on the other hand, have a separate promotion system based on their current official rank. If an official has not received the "Monthly Outstanding Official" award even once in a year, they will not be considered for promotion at the end of the year.

With a series of supporting benefits, the old ministers who had been complaining about the intense work and fierce competition of the past month or so saw their resentment dissipate, and they, along with the younger officials, felt their fatigue largely dissipate.

When that novel promotion system was put in the faces of the officials, the young officials felt that this exquisite dish looked rather tasteless!

Watching the young officials devour these delicious stir-fries like oxen chewing on peonies, rushing back to their offices to work, I suddenly felt immense pressure.

The next day, the canteen launched a takeaway service. The canteen provided food boxes and tableware. By leaving the canteen office, position, and name, customers could leave with the food boxes and tableware. There would be people going to each office to collect the used food boxes and tableware.

Seeing these young people who even packed their meals to take back to the government office to eat while working, the old ministers were so "moved" that they almost cried.

They always felt that sooner or later the emperor would create a separate list of "incompetent officials" and "incompetent clerks" in addition to the lists of "outstanding officials" and "outstanding clerks".

Upon hearing about this matter from the report of the Embroidered-Robe Official, the emperor remarked, "You all understand exploitation... cough, personnel systems better."

I'm embarrassed to even think about implementing a bottom-ranking elimination system, but you guys came up with it. It seems I'm still too conservative.

The following day, each government office was allowed to anonymously impeach officials who were negligent in their duties by writing their names on bamboo slips while voting to elect "outstanding officials" and "outstanding clerks." If an official was impeached for two months within a year and the investigation confirmed that he was negligent in his duties, he would be demoted one rank at the beginning of the following year.

If someone is impeached for four months within three years and it is found that their inaction is true, they will be dismissed from their post.

If an official has been dismissed from office three times for negligence, he will be blacklisted by the Ministry of Personnel, and neither the central government of the Han Dynasty nor local prefectures and counties will ever employ him again.

If someone is hired, whether they were deceived into hiring someone whose identity and place of origin could not be verified, or were hired intentionally, the official who appointed them will have their year-end performance evaluation reduced by two levels, which means they are destined to be demoted early next year.

All that remained were the old ministers, who were no match for the younger generation, weeping in their hearts.

Stop rolling it! Please stop rolling it!

(5660 words)
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P.S.: Hehe, I went to a newly opened Northeastern BBQ restaurant today and the food was amazing, so I'm in a really good mood and will add a short update of 1600 words.

Dear readers, please give me some extra monthly votes in recognition of the extra 1600 words I've added!
(End of this chapter)