Warhammer: Don't Call Me the God of All Machines

Chapter 803 The Fire Dragon Lord Who Has Been Targeted
"Clean up the Battle Moon. This is the first time we've captured an orc artifact of this caliber since the war with the Orks began."

"The Battle Moon contains a wealth of orcish technologies: long-distance teleportation via non-warp jumps, gravity weapon technology, and so on."

“I think Loshi will be very happy. Perhaps he will think about it again and realize that we humans will also have our own battle moon.”

Vulcan also knew that Roche had once built a battle planet called "Amatra" in Macurag.

However, that thing was purely an early prototype, and its experimental components made up the majority of its design.

Despite its name, Amatra is far less powerful than a true battle planet.

If the Shadow Expedition rebels hadn't been pressing too hard, Guilliman wouldn't have sent this big guy directly to the battlefield.

“My lord, the Great Sage Loshi is not some green-skinned orcish genius who can come up with entirely new inventions and equipment just by thinking about them.”

Beside Vulcan, the chief apothecary Tasa, upon hearing the topic of Rosie, immediately corrected his father.

The Salamander Legion does not have the same strict hierarchical system as other legions.

Even the youngest Astartes can offer advice to the Primarchs, and some of the bolder ones can even joke with Vulcan.

Vulcan paused for a moment, then touched his smooth, charcoal-black head with a bit of embarrassment and burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry, Tassa, after fighting these Ork for so long, I’ve picked up a bit of their language habits.”

"However, I'm not wrong in saying that. After all, our Sage Loshi has often come up with inventions that are even more incredible than those conceived by the orcs."

Upon hearing this, Tassa pondered for a moment and realized that his Primarch seemed to be right.

His already charcoal-black complexion suddenly turned strange.

Vulcan chuckled and patted Tassa's shoulder armor. He knew Tassa was an honest boy, but the problem was that he was too honest.

You can be an honest person at heart, but you can't really just be an honest person.

"The fiercest battle is over. I plan to go to the moon to check on the situation. Do you want to come with me?"

Tassa had intended to dissuade the Primarch from his idea, as he was the core and soul of the entire expeditionary fleet and should not take such a risk.

However, Vulcan remained resolute, so Tasa gave up on trying to persuade him.

“You must bring the Primarch Guard, or I will not allow it,” Tassa said in a deep voice.

The Primarch naturally did not refuse his sons' request, which was perfectly reasonable.

Vulcan quickly led his Primarch Guard and used a teleportation beacon to land directly on the surface of the Battle Moon.

Vulcan emerged from near the beacon, feeling a soreness all over his body from the teleportation process. He immediately tapped his back with his Dawnbringer.

Most of the remaining weapon systems on the Battle Moon have been completely destroyed and dismantled by the boarding attacks of thousands of Salamander Space Marines.

Only a few scattered Orcs remained, but they were quickly wiped out.

The gravity on the battle moon was much weaker than standard gravity, and Vulcan felt that every step he took was a little light, as if he were walking on cotton.

As the supreme commander of the expeditionary fleet, Vulcan firmly believed that one had no right to speak without firsthand investigation, and he had to see for himself the specific situation of the battle moon.

After all, when he issues an order, thousands, or even tens of thousands, of fire lizard warriors, as well as many more mortal auxiliary troops and heavy armored units, will carry it out.

If there is an unknown discrepancy between his perception and the actual situation, it will lead to a mismatch between tactical orders and the actual battlefield situation, thereby triggering a potential command crisis.

Vulcan carefully examined the Ork weapons he had collected and captured, including a large number of ranged and melee weapons.

Compared to the orc weapons he had previously been familiar with, these green-skinned weapons and equipment were clearly several levels higher in quality and precision.

At least the absurd situation of a 120mm caliber cannon firing a 150mm diameter shell did not happen again.

Furthermore, Vulcan discovered numerous weapon samples from the Greenskin Orcs' melee attacks that exhibited characteristics of both Space Necromancer phase weapons and Eldarin Bone weapons.

Of course, the most numerous are power swords and chainsaw swords, which are modified from weapons captured by humans.

"These Ork Greenskins have a mixed bag of weapons... wait, what the hell is this?"

As a master weapon forger, Vulcan had an incredibly sharp and discerning eye. With just a glance out of the corner of his eye, he found some unusual items among a large pile of confiscated weapons.

Those were some bizarre weapons that sent chills down your spine and made your hair stand on end.

A powerful subspace force was wrapped around the weapon, even subtly distorting the surrounding physical laws and generating some psionic phenomena.

Vulcan waved his hand solemnly, signaling his offspring to keep their distance.

He then picked up his Dawnbringer warhammer and smashed it directly onto one of the strange captured weapons.

It was highly unusual that the powerful Dawnbringer did not break the weapon, after all, the warhammer that Vulcan swung down would completely destroy even a human tank into a flat iron disc.

Invisible subspace energy surged from the weapon, tightly protecting its body.

An evil will manifested in the blade; it seemed extremely angry, yet also unusually greedy, wanting to bewitch Vulcan.

"Want power? Then grasp my sword hilt..." A whisper slowly rose and appeared in the Primarch's ear.

The Lord of Fire Dragons would naturally not be fooled by such ridiculous nonsense.

He wielded the Dawnbringer once more, but this time it was imbued with the psionic fire he had released while forging the weapon.

The Dawnbringer's hammerhead burned fiercely, releasing a dazzling and scorching flame. The next moment, the weapon possessed by the demon shattered and melted.

A hideous warp demon was forced to emerge from its weapon. Just as it was about to retaliate and destroy the vessel of Vulcan, it was burned to ashes by Vulcan's flames in a matter of breaths.

As a master blacksmith, Vulcan could easily forge divine weapons, and he could also easily destroy them.

The Lord of Fire Dragons looked rather grim. He knew that these weapons, which exuded a strange aura, were all blasphemous beings possessed by demons.

Normally, only certain Chaos cultists, Chaos Astartes, and Chaos wizards would use demonic weapons, but why are these things in the hands of green-skinned orcs?
The most likely explanation is that these green-skinned orcs, during their expansion, accidentally encountered some Chaos rebels and, after killing them, seized these demonic weapons.

This was indeed a reasonable explanation, but after Vulcan inventoried the orc weapons collected from the battlefield, he rejected the idea in his heart.

The reason is simple: the number of these demonic weapons is far greater than imagined.

It's impossible to acquire so many demonic weapons through mere spoils, so the answer is obvious: those Chaos traitors who clung to the human empire like maggots also gave it a push behind the scenes.

These enemies of humanity chose to unite in order to block and resist the empire's military might.

This was undoubtedly terrible news. The power wielded by those Chaos traitors was much weaker in quality compared to the Greenskin Orcs.

However, their greatest strength lies in their unpredictable and daring methods.

What Vulcan didn't know was whether the aid was provided by Abaddon's Black Legion, his fallen brothers, or even the Lord of the Forge, Vashtor.

"Father, Company Commander Barbatos has brought good news."

"He led our brothers in arms, defeated and captured the orc warlord on this war moon, and he is now calling us to come."

Tassa lowered his head, listening to the battle reports on the communication channel, and then reported them to his Primarch with a joyful expression.

"Go over and have a look."

Vulcan immediately picked up the Dawnbringer and, with the fire lizard beside him, rushed toward the direction marked by Company Commander Barbatos.

Before leaving, he instructed the fire lizards here to keep a close watch on the demon-infused weapons and not to use or destroy them without permission.

The Primitive Guard followed Vulcan closely, remaining vigilant.

The combat brothers wielding storm shields stood on the outermost edge of the group, while the salamanders carrying heavy bomb guns observed the battlefield from the inside, and the Primarchs were protected in the very center.

The ground was littered with the mangled corpses of green-skinned orcs, most of them completely mangled and bloodied, making it impossible to even discern which clan they belonged to.

Vulcan immediately realized that these unfortunate souls hadn't died at the hands of humans, but rather had been killed by the shockwaves of the previous celestial collision.

About half an hour later, Vulcan and his team arrived at the target area using a rapid troop transport vehicle.

Meanwhile, Company Commander Barbatos and the Salamander warriors had been waiting for a long time.

"My lord, the orc warlord Ironskull is right here, awaiting your interrogation."

The salamander company commander bowed respectfully, while Vulcan simply waved his hand, indicating to his offspring not to be too formal.

On the battlefield, a scene of utter devastation unfolded, littered with Orcs whose bodies had been blasted apart by bombs and plasma attacks. Among them were some of the heavily armored Orc leaders.

Several Land Raiders were smashed to pieces by some strange force. Their cannons were twisted into bizarre arcs, and their engines and tracks were violently torn off and left scattered on the ground.

When Vulcan's gaze focused, he saw half of the hull of a super-heavy tank, the Emperor Venom Blade, sticking up.

Half of the 400-ton heavy vehicle was pressed down on the back of an orc warlord who was like a mountain of flesh.

The exhaust pipe behind the Emperor's Poison Blade hissed out black smoke, and the air was filled with the alluring smell of promethium fuel and gunpowder smoke.

The metal monster was also covered in wounds, some of which were torn open by the giant power claws, revealing the complex internal pipelines and some oily substances seeping out.

The orc warlord, pinned to the ground, tried to struggle, but even in his prime, overturning an Imperial Poison Blade would have been difficult, let alone now, covered in wounds.
His two massive fangs had been smashed off by heavy weapons such as power hammers or power punches, and his enormous head was covered with deep, bone-revealing wounds.

One of the orc warlord's eyes had become a horrifying bloody hole, and his strong arms and legs had been broken into several pieces by the attack of the fire lizards and super-heavy tanks.

But his one remaining eye still cast a fierce light of hatred, filled with resentment and a desire for revenge.

Any threatening greenskin orcs were slaughtered. Only a few tiny ghouls remained trembling in fear beside the orc warlord, hiding in the gaps and blind spots between the leader and the Emperor's Poison Blade.

"What the hell...humans are terrifying!"

"Our moon! Oh, moon!"

These bastards were unaware that they were still alive because the fire salamanders needed to keep a few alive to continue interrogating and verifying the intelligence they had obtained.

Information gathered from a single orc may not be reliable, but if information gathered from different orcs is compared, it is possible to roughly distinguish between true and false information.

They were terrified and only hoped that they could hide well enough to avoid being discovered and killed by those horrible humans.

However, for salamanders, any creature with body temperature leaves a heat trail in the air and on the ground, and these tiny traces are as conspicuous to them as flashes of light in the dark.

They can even simulate and recreate the scene from before based on the thermal trajectory.

With heavy steps, Vulcan arrived at the side of the orc warlord who was being held alive under the Emperor's Poison Blade.

The enraged beast strained to observe the behavior of the surrounding green cans with its remaining eye.

His unusually small ears on his enormous head twitched back and forth, as if he were trying to pinpoint Vulcan's location by the echoes.

The orc warlord desperately raised his head, ignoring the excruciating pain of his broken spine, just to see who the human leader who had defeated them was.

When the Fire Dragon Lord's crimson eyes met those of the orc warlord, the raging beast even had the illusion that it was being scorched by lava.

"You are... the big green guy... Vulcan?"

"Haha, it was you. We didn't lose for nothing."

As the orc warlord spoke, he coughed up many dark green fragments of organs, a nauseating stench emanating from them and rushing towards the Lord of Fire Dragons.

Vulcan frowned slightly. The Primarch's sense of smell was extremely keen, and several lines immediately appeared on his forehead as he suppressed his disgust and continued the interrogation.

"You know me?"

"Know you?" the orc warlord laughed wildly.

"Who wouldn't recognize you, the progenitors of humanity, the sons of the golden giant, demigods walking the earth."

"I bother!"

"The one who understands you best is not someone else, but your enemy. This is a saying that you humans have come up with."

"You certainly have the ability to match your reputation. Both of our battle moons have fallen to your hands. But then again, the idea of ​​a planet colliding with the moon is indeed quite waaagh."

"Even Zack, the boss, was humiliated by that big blue guy, Muscle Man. Those lousy canned goods even said that Muscle Man's fighting strength was the weakest among your Primarchs."

The orc warlord was pinned under Emperor's Poison Blade's cover, and every time he spoke, he seemed to be on the verge of dying, needing to catch his breath for a long while.

"Bad canned food? I knew it."

A look of understanding crossed Vulcan's face. Guilliman's scandals about the Second Reich had indeed been leaked by those Chaos rebels.

"Aren't you orcs the proudest race? Why would you cooperate with those traitors among us who have sided with the Warp?"

"Is this your pride? It doesn't seem like much."

"Stop trying to sow discord, you big green guy. We don't believe those rotten canned goods. It's all just a ploy to defeat your shrimp empire." "Do you think we're stupid enough to willingly be used as pawns by those rotten canned goods? They're using us, but aren't we using them too?"

"It's just a matter of mutual exploitation. Once we're no longer of any use to each other, we'll naturally kick each other aside."

"At least they can give us some really bad ideas that will keep you busy with your own problems."

Unexpectedly, the orc warlord was not fooled at all and began to mock Vulcan.

The Lord of Fire Dragons didn't take it seriously.

"Kill me! My stupidity has let down Boss Zha, let down Kork Dihuang, and even more so, let down Brother Gao Mao."

"If I hadn't been impulsive and reckless, ordering the battle moon to rush around the planet, I wouldn't have made such a big mistake."

"Although I lost, it was my fault, and it has nothing to do with us Orcs."

The information about you and the big blue guy has been passed on to the other Orks, and they will be more cautious the next time they encounter you.

This orc warlord was decisive; after uttering his last words, he simply closed his eyes and awaited death.

Seeing that he could no longer extract any information from the other party, Vulcan chose to respect the Ork's decision.

The greatest respect we can show to these enemies is to eradicate them completely.

Vulcan swung the Dawnbringer in his hand, and the warhammer crashed down, smashing the orc warlord's head into a bloody pulp.

The enormous creature, five or six meters tall, twitched instinctively before ceasing all life.

The messenger of dawn shimmered with a faint light, as if celebrating the slaying of another formidable foe.

Those scoundrels hiding under the Emperor's Poison Blade have also been brought out, and the Astartes will conduct more detailed interrogations on them.

As Vulcan gazed at the dark starry sky, he suddenly had a strong premonition.

Perhaps on this battlefield where he fights the Ork, he will once again engage in a life-or-death struggle with his fallen brethren.

……

"I heard that two combat moons were destroyed in the war with humanity on the front lines."

"What destroyed them was the original human genome, and also the brother of that radish-headed muscle-bound man, Vulcan."

"Boss, maybe we should consider deepening our cooperation with those bad canned goods and designing a trap together to take care of the big blue guy or the big green guy."

In the luxurious palace of Bloodhowl Zak, the orc warlord, Thomas Edison, the orc chief finance minister, diligently served his boss a barrel of finely brewed mushroom wine.

Compared to previous beverages, this mushroom wine incorporates complex human processes and some magical ingredients from the subspace, resulting in a truly amazing taste.

Zach's massive body leaned lazily against his throne.

He seemed a little sullen, and downed the gift that his most shrewd and capable subordinate had given him in one gulp.

The orc warlord experienced a strange and unprecedented sensation: after the barrel of mushroom wine went down his throat, it brought a cool, tingling, and pleasant feeling, followed by a burning sensation in his internal organs. This sensation of ice and fire made him exclaim with delight.

Then, it seemed as if countless little stars appeared before his eyes, and his most beloved leader, Cork Leonardo da Vinci, walked toward him in glory.

"Bloodhowl Zac, you are my most reliable comrade-in-arms and my most trusted general. I will bestow upon you more glory, so that you can truly stand shoulder to shoulder with me."

"Now, I bestow upon you the title of Warmaster, and you shall take my place in ruling all the Orcs."

The next moment, Chief Kork placed a crown on his head and appointed him as the Orc Warmaster, granting him control over all Orc war forces.

Zack seemed to see his dreams come true one by one. Everything was so beautiful, with no annoying Primarchs and no frustrating failures.

"The stuff that Iribus gave me is really powerful."

"I only added a tiny bit, and it put Boss Zack into a hallucination from which he couldn't escape."

"It seems we still need to use this thing with caution."

Thomas Edison thought to himself that ever since Abaddon, the leader of the Bad Cans, visited Boss Zack, he had become friends with that can named Irebus.

Eribus was so generous that he gifted himself with many precious treasures, including relics of ancient orcs from the distant past.

The value of these treasures is beyond measure, measured in terms of teeth and gold; they are all priceless.

“This is a testament to our friendship. We hit it off immediately, and this small gift is nothing to us,” said Iribas.

The orc finance minister naturally knew that Erebbas wanted to win him over, so he used these antiques to curry favor with him.

But...so what?

Humans flatter themselves because they have value; the higher the cost they pay, the more they can prove their excellence.

Only useless scoundrels are ignored; truly outstanding orcs are never short of friends.

Moreover, after befriending him, Irebas didn't make any unreasonable requests; he just hoped that he would put in a good word for them with Boss Zack.

The orcs of the Evil Moon Clan can never resist the urge to make a profit.

Even befriending bad canned goods is nothing to them, as long as the benefits are plentiful enough.

Of course, if someone else offered more benefits, Edison wouldn't mind selling Irebus directly.

So far, only Iribas is smart enough to win over Edison. If there are other competitors, the boss of Evil Moon is confident that he can extract more value from him.

He added a special plant powder that grew in a place called Six Rings Silver Palace to the mushroom wine he offered to his boss. This powder was said to have a strong hallucinogenic effect and a pleasurable feeling.

Edison himself had a little to drink, and in his hallucination he saw himself possessing all the wealth in the entire galaxy, with the entire Ork race becoming his private property.

Even shrimp, bean sprouts, metal skulls, and demons from the subspace have become his employees.

All living beings work tirelessly, 24/7, to earn more wealth.

There was no more war in the dark galaxy, because war is a destruction of the accumulation of wealth, and Edison disliked war.

The orc warlord remained immersed in the illusion for a full half hour. When he groggily woke up, he realized that what he had just seen was all an illusion.

"Oh... Orc Warmaster."

"What a nice title! Much better than any warlord title."

Zach hiccuped, his eyes glazed over, lost in thought.

"Tell me, my good subordinates, what rotten ideas have those bastards, Abba and Iribus, come up with this time?"

Zach knew perfectly well what his finance minister and home minister had been doing behind his back.

He had previously suggested using a shrimp-like company system to manage the Orcs, using strict KPIs and management systems to shackle his subordinates.

This did indeed bring a huge increase in efficiency, but it also made Thomas Edison and those Yuezhi brats extremely wealthy.

As we all know, if you put a piece of squiggly meat in the refrigerator, take it out, and then put it back in the refrigerator, it may seem like nothing has happened, but in fact your hands will be covered in grease.

However, this was not a big problem for the orc warlord. After all, Thomas Edison had been working diligently to manage the Ork orcs for him. How could he work so hard without paying some benefits?

That's how the Greenskins of the Evil Moon Clan are; they're all obsessed with money.

"Your Excellency, the wise and mighty Boss Zack, we should develop a specific plan targeting the personality traits of those Primarchs."

"Compared to the blue giant, the green giant is much easier to deal with."

"Radish Head Muscle is even more cunning. He is also a big guy who loves to think. The only way to deal with such an enemy is to fight head-on. It is difficult to use tricks and schemes to be effective."

"But the big green guy is different. According to the intelligence we've gathered, Vulcan is the kindest and most loyal of all the Primarchs."

"Even the humblest shrimp, he and the fire lizard would treat them with the same equality and do everything in their power to protect them."

"This is a very rare virtue for humans, but for us Ork, it is an extremely huge flaw."

"The evil moon leader spoke eloquently."

Zach's eyelids twitched; he seemed to understand what his capable assistant was thinking.

Should we start with shrimp?

"Go on, I'm starting to get interested."

Thomas Edison immediately put on a shameless face, rubbed his palms together, and continued speaking.

"We can gather all the shrimp farmers from those farms onto one planet."

Then we sent a message to those canned goods, telling them that we were going to slaughter all the civilians on this planet.

"Given the green giant's personality, he definitely won't sit idly by. Once he takes the bait and brings the salamanders to our doorstep, we can set up a tight encirclement and wipe out this Primarch."

Zach's eyes lit up as he listened.

Despicable, utterly despicable.

But he liked it. They were Orks, so who cared about being despicable?
Those civilians were prisoners they had plundered from the Ghoul Stars and the Edge World after the war began.

Originally, these shrimps were of little use to the Orks, except as food or as slaves to be exploited.

But now that we can use these useless shrimp as bait for the trap, that would be perfect.

However, when Zach saw that his subordinate hadn't left yet, and that his cunning eyes were still darting around, he knew that this guy definitely had more to say.

"Boss, I only told you half of the plan."

"The remaining half requires your approval."

"After all, that might not sound so waaagh!"

Zack didn't speak, but gestured for the leader of the Evil Moon to continue, saying he was listening.

Seeing that his boss did not object, Edison mustered his courage and continued.

"Once the big green guy and his canned goods fall into the trap, we can kill all the shrimp on the planet and sacrifice them to the subspace according to the ritual given by Erebas."

"The shrieks of souls from the deaths of hundreds of billions of shrimp will tear open the barriers of reality, paving a path for those bad guys in the warp."

"Eribas promised that allies would arrive to help us deal with the big green guy, thereby increasing the probability of completely killing Vulcan."

"After all, according to rumors, the big green guy has an immortal body. Even if you kill him, he can be resurrected and continue fighting."

Upon mentioning Vulcan's immortality, the leader of the Evil Moon also revealed a hint of greed and jealousy.

As the saying goes, the richer people are, the more afraid they are of death, and this applies to the Orcs as well.

The thought that his accumulated wealth would be taken by other orcs after his death caused this shrewd orc leader to suffer a sharp, painful heartache.

If we can defeat the green giant, and then let the Mad Doctor and Pain Boy research the secret of his immortality...

Thomas Edison's heart raced slightly, but he remained outwardly calm.

"A warp-space ally?" Zack asked suspiciously.

"I never thought that we Orcs would one day need to join forces with other powers."

The leader of the evil moon suddenly became uneasy. He didn't know whether his boss would agree or scold him harshly.

The orc warlord was proud; he was the first warlord personally appointed by the leader of the Horde, and even among the other warlords, he held a unique position.

According to their sources, the Orcs in other war zones are making much better progress than they are here.

This is also largely due to the fact that the war zone he was in charge of included Nostramore, a fortress world where humans had amassed a large army, and the presence of two Primarchs.

However, he still couldn't save face.

He had already suffered several major losses at the hands of humans, and during the Battle of Skullshatterer, he was even more humiliated by Guilliman, who suddenly unleashed his full power, and was forced to flee in a sorry state by Guilliman's psionic lightsaber.

Just thinking about that humiliation made Zach's buttocks ache; the injury hadn't fully healed yet.

"Fine, I'll stop at nothing."

"Never mind whether it goes against the traditions of us Ork people."

"I entrust this matter entirely to you. Don't let me down." Zack waved his hand, and then the leader of the Evil Moon respectfully withdrew from the palace.

(End of this chapter)