The establishment of the Time Travelers Alliance began in the first year of Conan

Chapter 392 Run! Kirei! Run!

【Spiritual Imagery: Soul Denial】

This is based on the results obtained from the treatment process for [Kirei Kotomine].

Just like the name of this spell, it is also a rare magic that affects the target of the spell by negatively influencing the spirit particles.

Its consumption depends on the strength of the instruction and the duration.

This involves parts of the "Third Law" and a partial restructuring of the "timeline".

To use this technique, at least 3000 universal strings are required.

And its effects are naturally surprisingly good.

Even after undergoing a carefully designed "smile therapy," there is still an indescribable, "magical" strangeness to the smile.

But Kirei Kotomine was indeed able to feel a sense of happiness and joy at that time.

At this moment, on the morning of this "third day," dressed in a priest's robe that was now identical to Raymond's, Kirei Kotomine smiled as he faced the mirror in front of him.

After the treatment, he did this every morning.

The muscles in his cheeks pulled slightly to the corners of his mouth, and his usually serious and furrowed brows relaxed as his eyes relaxed, and then—he smiled.

To be honest, in Raymond's words, Kirei's smile was very stiff and strange at that moment.

"It's like someone using a chisel to pry two slits open at the corners of the dead disciple's mouth."

But Kirei didn't care about any of these things.

Regardless of whether one's smile looks "normal" or not, as long as the emotions one feels are genuine, that is enough to satisfy him.

Of course, Kirei still practices "smiling" diligently every day.

In the words of my attending physician or colleagues, this procedure works by imposing shackles on the physical body and the mind to actively detect and identify unfavorable instructions, forced contracts, or causal connections against the soul, and then sever them.

Kenneth's separation of the Command Seals system constitutes the basic principle of spellcasting;

Ilya's [Third Law] is used to construct a new [Spiritual Particle Structure], or rather, a decision-making mechanism;

Then there's the [CYZ Magic Baseboard], which uses a [Holy Grail System]-like approach for recording data input and output;
Finally, the timeline structure is used to approve or reject instructions from the [soul].

Thus, a shackle called "conditioned reflex" is constructed in both the physical and mental spheres.

The essence of Kirei Kotomine, that is, his soul, was not altered in any way by this technique.

However, due to the changes in his physical and mental state, those adverse effects from his soul were negated.

"Smiles, laughter, ordinary joy, immense joy, the joy of seeing life..."

Kirei Kotomine looked up at the mirror and saw a smile that looked even more natural than yesterday.

He worked hard to make his body and mind remember this smiling face, and continued to adjust it to make it more natural.

At the same time, slowly reflect on the joy that you have now "acquired".

"I've almost mastered the joy of seeing familiar faces, the joy of conversation, or the joy of interaction."

Kirei felt a surge of excitement.

In Raymond's words, he has made great progress recently.

For example, even his father was surprised by the change in his expression and tone of voice when he tried to communicate yesterday.

Even a smile that might be called a "bitter smile," a smile rarely used in training, appeared on Kirei's face at this moment.

How long can he keep this from his father?

Or perhaps the father had already vaguely realized that something was amiss or unnatural about the situation?
This matter even made Kirei feel happy yet somewhat apprehensive.

The phrase "learning to be a new person" is a true and undeniable experience for him.

After isolating themselves from the influence of the [soul].

All emotions and feelings need this man, like a newborn baby, to learn from those experiences.

The satisfaction of a full stomach, the pain of hunger, the pleasure of waking up, the annoyance of not getting enough sleep...

These instincts, based on the physical body, contain emotions that are very simple and readily available.

In fact, this was something Kirei had never considered before—

He does indeed love spicy food, especially Mapo Tofu from Hongzhou Banquet Hall.

Looking back, it seems I had this unique hobby in the past.

Perhaps it's because only through this kind of taste, expressed in the form of "pain," can one feel a sense of reality.

But now he avoids Mapo Tofu altogether.

Chinese food, Japanese food, Western food...

So many dishes, with such rich and layered flavors.

Whichever one it is, now tastes even more comforting and delightful to Kiri.

The emotions I had never experienced before, combined with the novelty of tasting it for the first time, plus the already delicious flavor.

It's much better than the same old Mapo Tofu I used to make, which was only spicy.

In addition, there is spiritual satisfaction and pleasure.

After looking in the mirror, Kirley's next task for the day was to go to the open space to the left of the church—to tend to the plants he had planted himself.

Actually, Kirei originally planned to buy a dog.

According to Meastia, this helped him to enrich his emotions.

But Kirei no longer has such utilitarian thoughts.

Even to his own surprise—

When he heard the proposal, for the first time he felt a sense of rejection not out of responsibility or morality, but out of tension and anticipation.

"What if I accidentally injure that life because my training isn't finished?"

Therefore, having already obtained what she wanted, or rather, on the path of "recovery," Kirei chose those flowers.

……

The weather seems a bit gloomy today.

Even though the sun was shining brightly in the morning, this suburb near the western part of Beika Town, perhaps because it is closer to the unpredictable sea, was a different story.

The entire church was swallowed up by the gray cloud cover.

A gentle breeze drifted in from the western archway, brushing past the straight, white pillars lining the corridor—

They now appear to be shrouded in some strange shadows.

But Kirei is unaware of these things now.

Just like that man named Kiritsugu Emiya, who, because of a few years of peace, somewhat squandered the iron heart he had cultivated over the past decades.

If you had told Kirito a few months ago that he would be as relaxed and at peace as he is now, even he himself would probably have denied it.

Kirei's heart was still filled with memories of the hyacinths that had bloomed last month.

The pale purple and bluish-green inflorescences, with long and upright flower stems, reach all the way up to one's knees.

Speaking of which, the fact that those flowers were able to bloom within a month was thanks to the growth hormone from Professor Agasa's lab—

When you have time, go and thank them in person.

In fact, what comes to mind is not just the scene that appears before one's eyes once again.

The sound of slender, tender stems rustling in the wind, the moist fragrance mingled with earth and flowers…

Having control over one's own body and mind is not without its advantages.

Today, Kiri will never forget those precious memories and images.

Or rather, it is precisely through repeatedly reliving these emotions that he is able to ensure he becomes more and more like a truly normal person.

To be honest, Raymond's recommendation was actually the one who made the choice of flower varieties.

"I remember that the flower that symbolizes rebirth... should be the hyacinth."

Kirei realized that she had already cut off almost all the flower branches.

Hyacinths are such plants; after the flowering period, withered flower branches need to be pruned in order for them to bloom a second time.

Kirei deliberately left one of the withered clumps uncut.

If he remembers correctly, it has withered completely under the winter sun these past few days.

The petals faded and dried, turning a deep purple color.

The edges are curled, and the stem has become like old, dry firewood, with some cracks.

Kirei looked up at the sky, which had become even more gloomy.

It might rain soon.

Although I feel a little regretful for the "old days".

But considering that the withered flower might be knocked off by the rain, Kirei decided to cut it off herself and keep it as a keepsake.

This stirred up a complex emotion within him, a mixture of sadness and heaviness.

Because at that moment, Kirei was thinking of Claudia and their child, Karen.

To prove that Kirei was capable of love and had value in life, she committed suicide in front of him.

In the past, Kirei was also very sad, but what saddened him most was that he was not able to enjoy his wife's death.

And now...

Kirei immediately used a spell to isolate this emotion—not because of the influence of the [soul], but because of the overwhelming sadness that made her unwilling to face it again.

In the past, the death of his wife could not evoke any genuine grief in him, but the withering of a flower could.

"Is this... true sorrow...?"

The combination of these two factors actually makes both kinds of sorrow even more profound.

Even after acquiring emotions that are no different from those of normal people.

Whenever he thinks of this, Kirei feels an urge to immediately stop the spell and return to that "indifference".

"How strange..." he muttered to himself.

“I had been suffering because of those false crimes.”

"But after gaining affection, one acquires a real and undeniable sin that needs to be redeemed."

An emotion called "regret" emerged in Kirei at this moment, accompanied by "sadness".

“But I can never atone for the sin of abandoning my wife and daughter,” he thought.

Once Kirei was truly moved by Claudia's "love" for him, there was absolutely no possibility of redeeming himself for the sin of "dying for her".

As a Christian wife, she chose suicide to prove that Kirsty still had feelings for her. For a devout believer, this is like going to hell—because suicide symbolizes the inability to ascend to heaven.

With such dedication, how can I possibly repay it?

And Karen.

The hand hidden in the sleeve tightened.

Kiri was well aware of her daughter's constitution and how this constitution would lead to the church's usual practices.

“I have to bring Karen back,” he thought, “to the Alliance or somewhere safe. I can’t let her stay in the church.”

Fortunately, I haven't been away from Italy for too long, so I should still have time.

otherwise……

But he soon realized that his emotions were getting out of control, and then forced himself to temporarily break free from these "negative" emotions.

He must learn restraint before he can become completely normal.

According to the Alliance, negative emotions are more likely to make him lean towards the "evil" side than positive ones.

Anger, resentment, sadness...

“These emotions,” Hasegawa Tsuki advised Kirei at the time.

"You can only slowly begin to experience and accept yourself after you have a full understanding of yourself."

This procedure can be described as "treating the symptoms but not the root cause".

When a mental image arises from a person's soul, as long as Kirei commits evil—

It's alright in the current [Unique Boundary].

However, if he did this in the real world, he could easily be "fixed" immediately by the "intelligence repair mechanism".

“There’s no need for the Alliance’s enemies to target you,” Hasegawa Tsuki said, “because your soul hasn’t changed.”

"For example, the league is more like stopping the rate at which you 'get worse'."

“Once we really reach that ‘node,’ the situation could very well immediately veer to the other extreme.”

After learning this, Kirei asked Hasegawa Tsuki about it.

"Since the [soul] can influence the former two, then the reverse should also be possible, right?"

"Theoretically speaking, that's correct."

Hasegawa Tsuki knew what Kirei was thinking, but she didn't approve of this approach.

Ultimately, it may never be possible to influence the operator by relying on external devices and software.

The soul is ultimately an outflow from a higher dimension, while the other two are more like some kind of device that drives it.

Kirei's idea was like trying to "kill" or "change" the existence outside the screen by "playing discs" countless times.

Of course, some people might actually decide to change themselves after watching a movie or finishing a game.

Therefore, a similar possibility certainly exists, but it can only be said to be extremely slim.

However, for Kirei, this was not even a problem, but rather a gift to him.

All his resentment and anger could be poured out on the meticulous work he put into cultivating his own soul.

In his past life, his greatest pain was that he was a person "without purpose".

Now, he has not only returned to normal, but he also has a goal that may take him a lifetime to achieve.

For Kirei, nothing could be happier than this.

……

This feeling of guilt towards his family even led Kirei to hide the fact that he had been "receiving medical treatment" from his father.

“When these flowers bloom again, I will confess these things to my father.”

This is what Kirei plans to do.

After all, in Father Lizheng's eyes, or rather, in the eyes of others, Kirei was always a devout but unfortunate person.

His efforts always ended at the last minute for some reason.

But after settling down and having a wife and daughter, he suffered even more misfortune.

"But then... how should I tell my father?"

Kirei was slightly annoyed.

Of course, this applies to Kirei today.

These other troubles and pains can even be considered a kind of alternative happiness.

Because they are all feelings from the past, feelings that I have never truly experienced or possessed.

As my mind wandered, I realized we were almost there, nearing that little flowerbed.

As Kirei reached the end of the porch, he was about to turn the corner and arrive at the open space—

The footsteps stopped.

He has now finally realized that something is wrong.

“…It’s too quiet.”

The soul's intuition is trying to tell it something.

The "conscience" of the soul simultaneously senses a faint yet solid malice.

[Mental] becomes focused;
The body becomes alert.

Without the slightest hesitation, Kirei reached into his robes and took out two black keys.

He crouched low, made a throwing motion, and swiftly dashed out from around the corner of the corridor.

Then, my gaze followed him as he turned and stepped into the garden.

His movements stopped.

The muscles in his legs still maintained the tension they had before the sprint, but his torso seemed to be stiffly frozen in place.

The black key he was about to throw seemed to be petrified along with his body, frozen in his hand like a sculptor's chisel.

Kirei saw it—

A flowerbed that seemed to have collapsed under the weight of the weight.

Those plants with only tender buds that had just sprouted from the pruning were all crushed in the center by something.

But he has no interest in these seedlings that he once cherished.

It crushed these green plants.

He is his father.

Kotomine Risei.

Beside that withered, dark purple hyacinth.

It was a person shrouded in a black robe, wearing a white skull mask that looked like a smiling face.

Zaid addressed Kiri, "Kiri, how are you feeling?"

Kirei could clearly distinguish that the one who was actually speaking to him was another person standing behind this body.

Assassin looks like he's been waiting here for a long time.

He spoke in a lighthearted tone, as if telling a funny story: "Come on, I deliberately left him a breath, so you'll have to thank me properly later."

Zaid, or rather, Matou Sakura's voice, is filled with a sense of certainty.

She knew very well that as long as it was Kirei Kotomine, he couldn't suppress this impulse—

Especially since she had already killed Tokiomi Tohsaka.

This man only has one path left: betrayal.

Recalling the malice that Kirei Kotomine had shown her in the past, Kuroi Sakura, controlling this body stained with black mud, smiled happily.

The so-called information gap is so terrifying that the "strong" can manipulate the weak, and often without even using force.

"Kirei Kotomine, I know what you're thinking. You feel... a little regretful and happy, right?"

【Matou Sakura】casually remarked on the man's awful personality.

All I can say is that if this guy didn't actually have any value to be used, and if Zaid hadn't been unable to use the black mud, it would have been a different story.

Black Sakura had already swallowed up Kirei Kotomine with "Evil of This World".

—Using this guy, who equates betrayal with pleasure, might actually backfire.

Fortunately, once we bring him over, we can just turn him into a puppet.

Thinking this, Black Sakura saw that Kirei seemed to be suppressing himself, even to the point of his body trembling violently.

So, Assassin casually tossed him a dagger.

"Then, the final blow is up to you. Anyway, he's going to die soon, isn't he?"

……

Clearly, he is a "stronger" person who is "well-informed".

Kurozakura chose the simplest approach, leading Kirei Kotomine to cooperate with her.

Learning to talk to Gilgamesh and Kirei like that is a thing of the past.

In a sense, this is also why the "branch war" makes many people indifferent to past relationships.

If you experience or even witness something many times, you will become numb to it without a strong obsession.

Therefore, if some things are going to happen anyway, then it doesn't matter if some "processes" are skipped.

Similar to what Black Sakura is doing now, many people have "developed" a number of similar "speedrun techniques".

For example, Black Sakura knows at least a dozen speedrun methods for Gilgamesh, "everyone's treasure trove".

In the eyes of this arrogant "strongman," this fellow who had been hiding in the [church] was just as easily manipulated as ever—

Let him be forced to kill his father, and then quickly slid down to "pursuing pleasure."

Just like what she just did, the manipulated Assassin even willingly threw his own dagger to him.

Once Kirei discovers his own "true self" and collaborates with himself, it will be a natural progression.

And in a situation where an Assassin isn't confident of defeating [Kirei Kotomine]—

This is absolutely a brilliant plan, isn't it?

(End of this chapter)