Jinting Han people

For the side that was ambushed, the outcome of this battle should be considered a significant victory.

Liu Xian was not happy about this. When Liu Shen and others congratulated him, Liu Xian looked at the battlefield littered with corpses and sighed, "If we win two or three more times like this, our army will probably be out of men." After all, losing nearly one-tenth of the soldiers in one battle was like walking on a precarious single-plank bridge for an army that still needed to fight for a long time. No one knew how long the soldiers could hold on.

But victory is victory, and the distinction between generals is determined by one real victory after another. Undoubtedly, Liu Xian possesses the most victories to date, which is enough to win the support of his soldiers and the admiration of his subordinates.

Suo Lin, Huangfu Dan, and others discussed, "The Western Army attacked with cavalry this time, sending over ten thousand cavalry. They have lost nearly half of them, which is a serious blow. I believe that after this battle, the Western Army will restrain their arrogance and will not dare to fight against you, my lord, so easily again."

It wasn't just them who thought this way; officers and infantry of all ranks shared the same opinion. How could cavalry be equated with ordinary soldiers? The Western Army's dominance was based on having the most cavalry, wasn't it? Now, the entire Western Expeditionary Army, after deducting Zhang Fang's forces, probably only had about 30,000 cavalry. And those who came to launch the surprise attack were clearly the elite of the elite, yet they couldn't win. This time, the morale of the Western Army will likely plummet.

Therefore, when Liu Xian inspected the battlefield, every soldier he encountered raised their swords to salute him, their eyes revealing sincere admiration.

Liu Xian was relatively at ease with the soldiers of the other units. He paid more attention to the new recruits who had recently joined the war, such as the young men newly recruited from Fengyi and Shiping counties. They had little experience and were very likely to be unable to withstand so many deaths, leading to desertion and other phenomena.

Therefore, after the war, he accompanied the medical team to the wounded soldiers' camp to specifically inspect the condition of the wounded soldiers.

As soon as Liu Xian entered the tent, he was hit by a stench of sweat and pus, a mixture of putrid and fishy smells that made him want to vomit. This odor attracted swarms of flies and insects, which buzzed incessantly, crawling in droves over the wounds and bodies of the wounded soldiers. Yet, Liu Xian showed no disgust. He knew that these men had fallen into such a state because of him.

Upon seeing Liu Xian enter, some of the more conscious soldiers struggled to rise and pay their respects, but most were too wounded to move, only able to groan softly on their beds, or perhaps whisper incoherently. Liu Xian stopped one of the wounded soldiers who was about to get up, saying to them, "Don't move, rest well and conserve your energy..."

He surveyed the camp and found that, as he had expected, nearly 80% of the wounded soldiers were newly recruited from the two prefectures. Unlike their previous energetic selves, they were now either trampled by horses, cut by swords, or had arrows embedded in their flesh; most were as pale as paper. Many were on the verge of death; even if they could recover, it would likely take two or three months to fully heal.

Among them were several newly recruited officers, such as Feng Yi and Yan Yi, who had been wounded in the waist by an arrow, had a sword wound in their hand, and their ankles were swollen. Liu Xian glanced at them and could roughly guess the scene when they were injured.

He must have been on horseback, wielding a long spear or a saber, engaged in close combat when an arrow flew from the side and struck him in the waist and abdomen. Unable to withstand the force, he fell from his horse, spraining his ankle and getting slashed on the arm by the enemy.

Liu Xian immediately asked Yan Yi, and his guess was indeed correct. Yan Yi's courage in daring to go into battle showed he was quite brave. Liu Xian asked him, "Does your wound still hurt?"

Yan Yi cried out hoarsely, "It hurts! Marshal, I'm in pain all over my body! I almost died!"

Liu Xian then asked, "Kid, will you still dare to kill the enemy in the future?"

Yan Yi laughed and said, "What are you saying, Marshal? A true man should live like this. Rather than spending decades mediocre in the fields, why not live a glorious life on horseback for a few months? If we can bring a few high-ranking officials down with us, then it would be worth dying for."

Unlike the other scholars recruited, Yan Yi was a chivalrous leader in Fengyi. He wasn't particularly learned; he won the support of the local refugees mainly through his loyalty and chivalry, leading to his election as leader and joining Liu Xian's forces. His current words reflected the typical chivalrous mindset: in this day and age, what was there to cherish in life? Better to live a life of swift retribution, to come into this world quickly and leave just as quickly.

But Liu Xian disagreed. He listened to Yan Yi's words, straightened up, and looked around. He saw blood everywhere on the carriage and the ground, dirty weapons, and discarded armor. There were also many eyes watching Liu Xian, even though they couldn't speak, and their ears were listening to his conversation.

Liu Xian said to Yan Yi, "In my younger days, I was just like you, wondering what the point of living was. But now, I'm becoming more and more afraid of dying."

"Afraid of death?" When Liu Xian said this, everyone laughed, and almost no one took it seriously. After all, everyone had seen Liu Xian's performance just a few hours ago. Ordinary generals wouldn't even dare to charge into battle, but Liu Xian dared to use himself as bait. How could that be related to being afraid of death?
Liu Xian's expression was solemn, and he said in a very heavy tone, "This is not a joke, I am indeed afraid of death."

"Although people often talk about ghosts, gods, and immortals who can bring the dead back to life and grant longevity, I have never seen one in all my years of life. I only know that the dead never return, whether they go to the underworld or the Pure Land, I have never seen one. I always wonder, after a person dies, is there really a soul? Or is it just that when a person dies, the lamp goes out, and everything is over?"

Death is a serious topic. If we ignore it from a lighthearted perspective, people can pretend nothing happened. But if we really discuss it, no one can escape this profound subject.

Whether it's ignorance or hope, in this day and age, people often fantasize that death isn't the end, but the beginning of another story. Stories of ghosts and reincarnation persist. But is there any real evidence to support them? In reality, most people are just repeating hearsay and misinformation. And those few who claim to have actually seen it can't provide any real proof.

But why does this kind of thinking persist? A large part of the reason is people's unwillingness to accept reality. Life is too short, the things we want to do are endless, but ultimately we can only achieve a few. If death equals eternal end, then wouldn't everything be over, and life have no more chances? People aren't actually afraid of the pain of death; physical pain is only momentary. What they fear is the emptiness of having nothing left. Now, Liu Xian raised this question, slowly saying, "That's why I fear death. I fear that after I die, my wife and children will be lonely and destitute, with no one to care for them; my family will decline and be bullied; my ambitions will vanish like bubbles, and I will be ridiculed."

He spoke with such sincerity that everyone present felt a deep resonance. If death truly is the end, no one can accept such an ending. Whether it's the individual, the family, or even one's own dreams, all will come to nothing with death. Even if one had a few extraordinary months in life, who would care?
Therefore, the wounded soldiers were filled with fear upon hearing this. As Liu Xian said, many of them, while lying on their sickbeds, were already imagining their next life, and the one after that. But what if there was no next life? Would their lives truly be over? Would they lose everything?
Upon hearing this, Yan Yi also looked bewildered. He asked Liu Xian, "If that's the case, why is the Marshal still able to fight?"

This question drew everyone's attention once more. They were genuinely curious: if there was no certainty of a new beginning after death, how did he overcome his fear of death?

Liu Xian smiled and said, "Of course, it's to live well."

This answer left many listeners bewildered, but Liu Xian continued, "When I was very young, I wanted to get along well with my peers, but they, relying on their noble family background, isolated me and mocked me for being a duke of a fallen kingdom. At the time, I thought, why do they look down on me?"

“I also have many servants in my household. Although they are of humble origin, they are kind and resilient. But my master does not treat them well. He often beats and scolds them, simply because he is the master. I wondered at the time, what right does he have to do this?”

“When I was almost of age, a friend of mine once invited me to drink at the Golden Valley Garden. At that time, I didn’t know how to drink, and Shi Chong tried to persuade me to drink, but I refused. Unexpectedly, he waved his hand and immediately killed one of the maids in front of me. A knife pierced her chest, and blood splattered onto my wine. Her name was A Qing. At that moment, I will never forget the look in A Qing’s eyes as she was dying, like a fish dying of thirst.”

"Then Shi Chong told me that the reason he killed the maid was simply because she failed to get me to drink wine."

"This isn't just Shi Chong's fault. I've served as one of the Three Dukes, so I know how many corrupt and shady things are hidden among the powerful and wealthy in Luoyang. There are those who rob and kill on the official road just because they covet a horse; there are those who behead their subordinates for forgetting to use honorifics while drinking; and there are those who lure their poets into their houses and bury them alive because their poetry has been overshadowed. As for bullying men and women, embezzlement, and bribery, the list goes on and on..."

At this point, Liu Xian paused, then asked, "Is this something that only happens in Luoyang?"

The answer is, of course, no. This is true for most of the world, and people have long been accustomed to it. People simply say that this is part of life, that it is how we are born and how we will be when we die, so they no longer have any complaints.

But at this moment, Liu Xian revealed an expression of anger and insult, questioning, "Even if there are distinctions of high and low, noble and lowly in the world, why does it have to come to this? Why must one person's life prevent the others from living? During Emperor Wu's ten years of Taikang reign, where was there any true political peace and tranquility?"

“In my early years, I thought that perhaps it was Emperor Wu’s problem, and perhaps if the dynasty were changed, everything would be fine. But over the years, the regents have changed one after another. Many scholars I know, and even many princes I know, have not been able to achieve anything in the court, let alone protect themselves! No matter what kind of people they are, whether they are good or bad, once they come to the forefront, the ferocity of their infighting is unprecedented!”

As Liu Xian spoke, the embarrassing state of Sima Yi, Sima Jiong, Sima Wei, and others at the time of their deaths almost reappeared before his eyes.

"So I've figured it out: the Jin dynasty was founded illegitimately! Sima Yi seized power through cunning and flattery, cultivating relationships with virtuous scholars and building his own power base. He used the rich resources of the land to curry favor with the wealthy and powerful, resulting in a failure to care for the common people. This accumulated corruption was irreversible, ultimately bringing disaster upon his descendants and leading to the dynasty's downfall. Look at the world today, everyone! Who can remain unaffected?! Everywhere there are people who can neither live nor die, not just the poor and lowly, but even princes and nobles are no different!"

"If we cannot change this world, even if we fear death, can we escape it? Absolutely not! Therefore, if we want all people to live in peace and prosperity, we must establish a new nation."

"If my great-grandfather, Emperor Zhaolie, had stood with Cao Cao, he would have at least held one of the Three Dukes' positions. Yet he refused to admit defeat and repeatedly rebelled against Cao Cao. Why? Simply because he had the same thought in mind: to live like that would be worse than death!"

"Liu Xian is not talented enough to claim to be selfless, and he also fears death and punishment. But if life and death are not in his own hands, what good is fearing death? Only by living well can he change everything. Sima Qian once said, 'Death is inevitable for everyone, but it can be as weighty as Mount Tai or as light as a feather.' But sometimes, living well is harder than dying."

"I hope that you all will not only think about a moment of glory. Death is easy, but to live well, to build a peaceful place, and to change the world is a very difficult and long thing. Only by doing so, even if we ultimately fail, can we say that we have done our best and died without regret!"

This was the first time Liu Xian had publicly discussed his ambition to restore his kingdom in front of a large audience.

He was genuinely moved, his voice choked with emotion. The soldiers, who weren't literate, listened; some fully understood, others only vaguely. But without exception, they all felt their commander's respect. Moreover, while they might not understand other things, the humiliation and contempt they had experienced were firsthand. The soldiers might not agree with Liu Xian's views on life and death, but the yearning for justice was indelible in everyone's heart.

Therefore, when Liu Xian finally opened the tent to let in fresh air, it was clear that every eye in sight was filled with tears.

Having embarked on this path, we are destined to encounter various unforeseen difficulties. And in the face of these difficulties, the power of gold and silver is ultimately temporary; perhaps only by truly uniting the fighting spirit of the entire army can we overcome all obstacles. (End of Chapter)