1986: My Happy Life in Provence

Chapter 564 A Mini Lesson in Provençal Dialect

Ronan saw Charlotte dressed as a local farmer in the restaurant. Apart from her overly handsome features that made people want to take a second look, there was nothing else about her that could be mistaken for a real farmer.

“Milana came at 10 a.m. to reserve a seat.” Charlotte leaned back in her chair, legs spread wide as she casually flipped through the menu. “I want to eat everything, it’s so hard to choose. Ronan, can you recommend a few dishes?”

Milena is Charlotte's assistant.

Since she took on the responsibility of reserving seats at the Chinese restaurant in Ronan, Charlotte, who was left alone, started playing a 'role-playing' game again, going to the knitting courtyard to look at furniture by herself, and enjoying it immensely.

Ronan stared at Charlotte's every move for a while before speaking:
"Is releasing a new album really your main focus this year? I feel like you're more focused on performing."

Charlotte's portrayal of the farmer was so lifelike that it was almost indistinguishable from the real thing. Not only were the movements similar, but the expressions were even more so. It can only be said that this star, who excels in both film and music, has grasped the essence of this group.

Milena said with a grin:

"Charlotte is very observant of life, and I think she can learn anything very well."

Ronan put away the menu and went to the kitchen to prepare food for them:
"Try imitating me next time. I want to see what it feels like to talk to myself."

Ronan was just joking, but Charlotte shook her head and gave an OK sign:
"Then I need to observe you first. Hurry up and arrange food for us, I'm starving!"

Charlotte kept complaining of being starving, so Ronan prepared a table full of food for her.

As a result, the female celebrity ate only a bite or two of each dish before patting her stomach and saying she was stuffed, which was completely different from the appetite of the farmer she was imitating.

The two girls were really bad at fighting, so Charlotte invited Ronan to sit down and eat with her so she could observe them carefully and find someone to imitate next.

Ronan had no idea how Charlotte was supposed to 'observe life,' so he just kept eating in silence.

After watching for a while, Charlotte picked up a toothpick and put it in her mouth, just like the local farmers who had finished their meal:

"You're as thin as a dried fish."

Ronan nearly spat out the food in his mouth, and Charlotte didn't forget her 'persona' even while observing life.

"As thin as a dried fish" is a Provençal expression, often used by the local working class, especially farmers, to mean "too thin."

These colloquial expressions are often grammatically incorrect, and many of their words are quite vulgar, but they are often vivid, funny, and occasionally even witty.

Hearing the Provençal 'local dialect' from Charlotte's mouth made Ronan feel that this world was too magical. It was hard to connect this with the charismatic star on stage who captivated countless men and women.

It felt like Chow Yun-fat, Feng Zhen's favorite Chinese movie star of that era, who would constantly say things like "You hillbilly" and "What are you looking at?"

Ronan smiled and nodded:

"Yes, I've been running every day for the past few months and have lost a lot of weight. I also feel that I've become a bit too thin."

Charlotte twirled the toothpick in her mouth while looking Ronan up and down:
“You’re a little different today; you kicked the closet today.”

"Kicked the wardrobe" is also a local slang term. In this context, it means that Ronan dressed up today and wore very particular clothes.

Ronan smiled happily:
"After we got married, my wife would help me put together an outfit every day, which is definitely different from when I was a bachelor."

Charlotte frowned:
"You got married? Why didn't you tell me?"

Ronan said, both amused and exasperated:

"Do you want to make a complete mess of my wedding, my big star? If you show up, nobody will be watching me and Zoe; everyone's attention will be on you."

Charlotte spat out the toothpick and angrily crossed her arms over her chest.
"I could disguise myself, but do you think my acting isn't good enough to make them notice anything? God, I missed such an important opportunity to observe life. Do you know how much inspiration a wedding can bring?"

Ronan smiled and poured her a glass of wine:

“Actually, Zoe and I were planning to visit your new home one day, but we didn’t expect you to come first. Many of our friends couldn’t be at the wedding for various reasons, so we made some small gifts to make up for it.”

According to Provençal custom, after the wedding, the newlyweds will visit some important guests and present them with exquisite gifts.

Ronan and Zoe have many celebrity friends who were unable to attend the wedding, so their names were added to the guest list for the 'return ceremony,' with Charlotte's name prominently featured.

Upon hearing the word 'personally,' Charlotte lowered her arms, leaned forward, and asked:

What kind of small gift?

Ronan said with a smile:
"Zoe personally crafted these utensils, and I made the outer packaging from vines. You should know what the market price is for Zoe's utensils, right? Are you still angry?"

Charlotte slapped the table excitedly and laughed heartily, saying:
"You think your ass's been stitched up? When did I get angry? I was just joking with you!"

"His buttocks were sewn up" is also a colloquialism, meaning someone is born without a sense of humor.

In northern France, the same thing would be said as 'tight ass'.

Ronan shrugged and said regretfully:
“But you can’t take that gift with you today. When are you moving in? Zoe and I will deliver it to you.”

Provence is a region that values ​​etiquette, and wedding reciprocation requires the bride and groom to visit each other's homes. Today's scene is not formal.

Charlotte's grand estate in Lourmaran is nearing completion of renovations. Today's visit to the weaving courtyard was to "pick up any leftovers." She had just given Ronan a few codes, and once these furniture pieces are finished and delivered, Charlotte's house will be completely completed.

Charlotte immediately asked her assistant Milena to check the schedule and arranged a date with Ronan in early August:
"Come, come, bring Zoe with you, I'll treat you well."

Ronan clapped his hands with a smile:

"Then I won't stand on ceremony. I'm so curious about what Little Luberon's most expensive estate looks like."

Lunch was quite relaxed; you could say Ronan had taken a lesson in the local Provençal 'native language'.

Charlotte spoke a lot of the local dialect that even Ronan, who spent most of his time with farmers, had never heard before.

For example, '大发地盘' is used to describe a charming woman who has a sexy and voluptuous butt.

'碰一碰五条沙丁鱼' means to shake hands.

Returning the socks is a curse that someone deserves to die.

"God is asleep" is a pun on someone stumbling upon good fortune they don't deserve.

After finishing their meal, Ronan saw Charlotte and Milena out of the restaurant. They had only gone a few steps when Milena said she had forgotten something on the table and went back to get it.

With nothing else to do, Ronan asked the question that had been on his mind:
Where did you learn those local dialects?

Charlotte bent down and patted her boots. Even though there wasn't much dust on the soles, it was a habit farmers often did unconsciously; their shoes were never very clean after working the land for so long.

"I learned it from observation. I secretly observed the farmers chatting for two days and that's how I learned it."

"You've learned so much in just two days?" Ronan gasped. "Not just the catchphrases, you've even imitated the little gestures perfectly."

Charlotte looked up, a mischievous smile spreading across her face:
“I can observe quite a lot in two hours. I have already ‘seen through’ you.”

Before Ronan could react, Charlotte shouted loudly to Milena, who had gone in the opposite direction, reminding the scatterbrained girl that she had gone to the wrong place.

But Milena went further and further in the opposite direction.

"Damn it, he's deaf like a clay pot." Charlotte cursed as she chased after him. "Alright, you don't need to see me off. Come see me at my house in early August with Zoe, Milena, I'm here!"

Ronan watched Charlotte's departing figure and shook his head with a smile.

I'm looking forward to the next time she imitates me. Zoe has been quite busy with work lately, spending all her time in the studio creating.

Ronan's presence would reduce her work efficiency, because the two of them would always be inseparable.

To allow Zoe to finish her work as quickly as possible, if Ronan finished get off work early, he wouldn't rush home. Instead, he would go to Luo Tianhai and Feng Zhen's house for a while, chat with them, and then go to find his wife or pick her up for dinner when it was time to eat.

After receiving Charlotte today, Ronan returned to the weaving compound to arrange her new orders. He stayed for a while but couldn't help much, so he left to visit his parents.

Unexpectedly, we have guests at my parents' house today.

Luo Tianhai and Feng Zhen have many friends in Provence, and they also have a lot of social activities when Ronan is not around.

To put it more recently, there's Louis, Alain, Freddie, and old Carl's group.

Going back further, there are restaurant owners, such as Artur and others.

These people are all likely to come to Luo Tianhai and his wife's new home.

Strangely, when Ronan opened the door to his parents' house, he didn't recognize the old woman sitting on the sofa.

Luo Tianhai was not home. Feng Zhen was sitting on the sofa on the other side, talking animatedly with the lady.

"Tianhai, you're back so soon?" Feng Zhen heard the noise and stood up to greet him at the door. When she saw that it was Ronan, she excitedly grabbed her son's arm, "Oh, Ronan's here."

Ronan had never seen his mother so 'enthusiastic' before. He stopped a little nervously, pointing inside and saying:
"We have guests at home? Then I won't disturb you any longer."

"No, no!" Feng Zhen pulled Ronan into the living room, gave him her seat, and sat down next to the old woman. "We were just talking about you."

As Ronan got closer, he realized the old woman looked somewhat familiar; he was sure he'd seen her before, but wasn't particularly familiar with her. So he asked his mother:

"Who is this?"

Feng Zhen introduced the product to Ronan with great enthusiasm:

"This is the lead soprano of the Provence Choir, the double bassist of the Menna Village Classical Orchestra, a visiting professor at the Aix-en-Provence Percussion Centre, a senior hand drum artist, and a Grade 10 piano master."

After Feng Zhen rattled off a long list of titles, the old woman smiled shyly:
“In fact, I also formed a band in Luberon, where I was the lead singer and bassist.”

Ronan looked as if struck by lightning, and asked tremblingly:

"Are you Mrs. Simon?"

Painful memories began to assault his brain.

Ronan recalled going to Simon's house last spring to buy a toilet, but before seeing the toilet, he watched a half-hour 'concert' and was terrified by Mrs. Simon's musical knowledge.

In Luberon, there is no one else who can play so many instruments except her!

Clearly, Feng Zhen had never experienced Mrs. Simon's live music performance before, and she excitedly exclaimed:
"Mrs. Simon is a very talented person with her own aspirations. We were just talking about how her dream is to give a solo concert at the Vienna Golden Hall and showcase the more than twenty instruments she is good at. It's so enviable."

Mrs. Simon glanced at Ronan and said with a smile:
"Ronan said the same thing. When we first met, after listening to my performance, he said that if his mother were also proficient in music, he would be the happiest son in the world."

Feng Zhen looked at her son, Luo Nan, in surprise:
"Ronan said something like that?"

Ronan was completely caught in the middle; to say yes or no was not right either.

However, he was certain that if he had a mother like Mrs. Simon, his peaceful days would be completely over!
That wasn't music, it was noise, utter noise!!

He awkwardly kissed the back of Mrs. Simon's hand:

"That day is still fresh in my memory. By the way, where is Mr. Simon?"

On the wedding day, Mr. Simon tried several times to get on Ronan's good side, but Ronan was too busy that day to attend to so many people.

So this is a shift in focus, and she's starting to curry favor with my parents?

Feng Zhen pointed in one direction:
"You went downstairs with your father to get the ingredients. Tonight, Mr. Simon is going to show off his skills and make us his signature herb steak."

Mrs. Simon said warmly to Ronan:
“It’s absolutely delicious with rosé wine, I bet you’ll want to try it.”

Ronan waved his hands repeatedly:

"No, no, Zoe is going to cook me a big meal tonight. You know I shouldn't refuse my wife's hospitality. Enjoy your meal."

Ronan, not wanting to engage in any pretense with Mr. Simon, left 'like a fart'.

This is also a slang term I learned from Charlotte; it means to leave quickly, as fast as you let out a fart.

But fearing that his parents would be fooled by Simon, that old swindler, and his wife who had absolutely no musical talent, Ronan went to his parents' house again the next morning to warn them.

But before he could get down to business, Feng Zhen excitedly told him:
"Son, I've found my purpose in life."

"What are your life goals?" Ronan asked nervously.

Feng Zhen glanced at her husband, Luo Tianhai, and after receiving his affirmative look, she mustered her courage and said:

“I forced you to learn the electronic keyboard when you were little to selfishly fulfill my own dream, but Mrs. Simon made me realize that I should achieve my own dream, instead of relying on the next generation. Of course, mainly because you are not cut out for it.”

Ronan asked with a complicated expression:

What is your dream?

Feng Zhen said firmly:

“My dream is to become a musician! Ronan, do you know that Mrs. Simon is 72 years old this year and is still teaching herself to play the saxophone? And she only started learning more than 20 instruments after she turned 60. I am only 47 years old this year, a full 13 years earlier than her! I am sure I can achieve even greater honors than her!”

Ronan forgot what he wanted to say earlier and excitedly grasped his mother's hand:

"I support you!"

He's been looking for hobbies for his parents to enjoy in their old age, and look, here they are!
“Really? That’s great! I was worried you wouldn’t support me!” Feng Zhen shook Ronan’s hand in return. “I’ve found the first instrument I want to learn.”

Ronan hugged his mother tightly:

"I support you, I support you completely, Mom! I will support you unconditionally no matter what you study!"

During lunch, Ronan shared this story with his wife, Zoe.

“When Mom has a hobby, she won’t be overthinking all the time. When she learns, I praise her as much as I can, giving her plenty of emotional support. Her self-esteem is also satisfied. It’s a win-win situation. This went so smoothly.”

Zoe was also happy for Feng Zhen:
What musical instrument does she want to learn?

Ronan said with a smile:
“My mother knew nothing about music. She saw an instrument in a magazine and wanted to learn it. The instrument was called the pipe organ.”

Feng Zhen and Ronan knew nothing about music, but Zoe, who had a 'little thing', asked in surprise:

"Are you sure it's a pipe organ? That instrument is over twenty meters tall and weighs thirty or forty tons. You want to buy one for her to put in her home?"

Ronan's smile instantly froze on his face:

"Are you kidding me??"

(End of this chapter)