Hogwarts: Harry Returns from Azeroth

Chapter 35 35. Horrible Hermione and the Crazy Dean
It was hard to imagine how such a scream could come from a child's throat. For a moment, Harry's head was buzzing - especially Ron's, who was too close to him.

Harry couldn't help but burst out laughing, but unfortunately his laughter stopped before it lasted more than two laughs. Under Harry's incredulous gaze, Ron fell limply to the ground.

This is fainting.

"Ron!!"

Hagrid was quick-witted and grabbed the red-haired boy, lifted him up, and then shook him like a champagne bottle - but he still didn't wake up.

This is really fainting.

"...I can swear to Mother Earth that I really mean no harm. Uh, it's just a joke - why would someone be so afraid of spiders?" Harry said quickly facing the condemning gazes of Hermione and Neville.

"A normal person would be afraid of spiders and snakes! Mr. Harry Potter!!" Hermione looked as if she wanted to eat someone. She called out Harry's full name and angrily said, "You are so nasty!!"

"Oh, I thought it was just a harmless prank," Hagrid muttered, and said cheerfully, "But your reaction, Merlin's stockings, I felt like my scalp was almost blown off."

"A harmless prank?!" Hermione glared at Hagrid. An invisible pressure emanated from her small body, making Hagrid seem to see Professor McGonagall scolding him. "Ron fainted!! And Neville - are you okay? Neville?"

Hermione was a little surprised that Neville, who usually acted very timid, didn't react much.

"...It's okay," Neville swallowed and said, "I'm fine... I've bought spiders for Leif to eat before, so I'm fine... Uh, although this one is a bit big."

Riff is Neville's pet toad.

Ron came back just as quickly as he left. He was now awake, sitting on the ground in a daze.

"Where is this... Damn, why do I feel like I was punched by a troll? All my bones hurt..." Ron muttered as he moved his body.

"This is Hagrid's hut, Ron, are you okay?" The others tacitly did not mention Hagrid's shaking method just now, and Neville asked tentatively.

"Me? Of course I—" Ron was halfway through his words when he saw the barrel in front of him and Harry who was looking at him from the edge of the barrel. He suddenly remembered everything, "Merlin's red stockings! Harry! You were soaking in that thing! Are you crazy?!"

"I've told you before, just think of it as me curing my illness," Harry explained again, "I need to use this method to make up for the nutrients my body lacks and make me stronger quickly."

"But you look more like a child in a Muggle fairy tale who was captured by an evil witch and used to make soup," Hermione said quickly, "Look at what you look like now, Harry - it's so evil!!"

A sincere accusation from a little girl.

Hermione still couldn't erase the horrific scene she had just witnessed from her mind. Harry's hand, which was covered with sticky reddish-brown liquid, held up a bulging spider corpse. Just imagining what Harry was soaking in at this moment, Hermione felt goose bumps all over her body.

"Oh my God, you really look like the evil crazy witches in the fairy tales I read when I was a child, Harry!" Hermione couldn't help it after all.

"It's just a kind of potion, it's not evil at all," Harry shrugged and said, "Besides, you are a witch in terms of classification, Hermione, and I am a wizard."

That Hermione looked even angrier.

"You don't know, Harry." Ron moved his hips as far away from the barrel as possible. "I was teased by Fred and George when I was a child. You definitely haven't had that experience."

"My favorite doll that I was holding in my arms slowly turned into a giant hairy spider... Ugh! I can't take it anymore!!"

"Fred and George are such good-for-nothings." Imagining the situation Ron described, everyone couldn't help but sigh in the same way. Even Harry had to admit that the twins had gone too far in their prank.

"My mum pretty much beat their butts off and kept them out of bed for a week, but anyway, I've been terrified of spiders ever since."

"It's my problem, sorry, Ron." As a righteous man, Harry immediately apologized to Ron.

"It's okay, don't you know?" Ron waved his hand generously and said, "By the way, you just said that this potion can strengthen the body?"

Should I use the word "tough" to describe him? In any case, Ron did recover quickly, and he was now very interested in the effects of the potion.

"Don't even think about it, you lazy guy." Harry rolled his eyes and said, "Even if you take a medicinal bath, you still need to keep exercising. You should first insist on getting up early and exercising with me every day."

"Ahaha, forget it then." Ron laughed dryly. "It's not that I can't get up, it's just that you got up too early, Harry."

Then there was some mumbling, like "Harry, you don't look like a freshman at all, you won't grow tall if you don't get enough sleep" and so on, which made everyone laugh.

"So, this is the kind of potion you mentioned... the shaman's potion?" Hermione was no longer angry now. She was always interested in unknown magic and asked curiously.

"Right," Harry nodded.

"If being a shaman means I have to indulge in this kind of...evil and weird stuff, then I'd rather not be one!" Hermione said decisively.

"What if making this kind of magic potion can make you smart, and you can learn and understand anything quickly?" Without getting angry, Harry said happily while leaning against the edge of the barrel.

"Really?!" Hermione stood up and shouted excitedly with her hands on the table - then she noticed the strange looks the others were giving her.

"Well, what I mean is... you learn everything very quickly. Is it because of this potion?" Hermione asked seriously, covering her mouth and coughing.

"If I say yes, then you will agree to make this potion?" Harry said, trying not to laugh.

Tangled - these two words were clearly reflected in Hermione's expression. She looked like she was standing on the edge of depravity, caught in a dilemma. One more step forward would be into the abyss.

"I, I - wait, are you kidding me?" After brainstorming for a while, Hermione looked up and saw Harry's expression of trying not to laugh. She couldn't help laughing any more. "You are kidding me! How can there be such a potion?!"

"There really is such a potion. Buffy's Brain Waking Potion can make people smarter - but I was just kidding you," Harry changed the subject and laughed out loud.

"Harry!! Potter!!"

The room was suddenly filled with Hermione's roar and the laughter of the crowd. It was a wonderful afternoon.

Hagrid is indeed a very nice person. Although he looks very big and scary, he is actually very gentle - at least he is gentle in front of his friends, and he is willing to treat his friends with good things.

and so--

"Eat, why don't you eat?" Pushing the plate forward, Hagrid said enthusiastically, "I made these myself, stoat sandwiches, very delicious."

"What?" Hermione didn't react for a moment.

"Stoat," Hagrid repeated. "It's a kind of rat... maybe."

Hermione's face turned green, along with Ron and Neville's.

But Hagrid's enthusiastic greeting was even more impressive, and there was nothing they could do. The three of them could only pick up the large sandwich in front of them and take a bite - the meat tasted a little sour, and their stomachs felt even more uncomfortable, especially when they thought about what animal it was from.

"How was it?" Hagrid looked at them expectantly.

"Not bad... not bad." Hermione forced a smile, and then saw Harry trying to hold back his laughter behind Hagrid, and she immediately gritted her teeth, "--Why not let Mr. Potter have a taste too?"

If words could be turned into knives, Hermione could swear that the man sitting in the barrel opposite her would have been stabbed into a sieve by her.

Look, Harry has become Mr. Potter. If you don’t know, you might think it was Malfoy who called him that.

Hagrid turned and looked at Harry with a look of sudden realization.

"You know me, Hagrid." Facing his friend's expectant gaze, Harry pulled his hand out of the potion and gestured, "Look, I can't eat anything right now."

"Oh, okay," Hagrid turned back with a disappointed look on his face.

"It's okay! Hagrid, I'll help him!" Hermione stood up from the chair with a bang, picked up the sandwich with one hand, grinned - sorry, only this word is the most appropriate, she approached Harry with a grin, "Come on, open your mouth, Mr. Potter!!"

"Hey! Hermione! Wait a minute!!" Harry shouted, but he couldn't stop the girl from approaching with a sandwich in her hand.

Harry wanted to raise his hand to stop it, but he was afraid that the sandwich would fall into his bucket of magic potion and turn into something even more mysterious, so he could only watch the girl stuff the sandwich into her mouth.

The room suddenly became filled with a horrifying scene as Hermione grinned and kept spinning the sandwich into Harry's mouth, trying to fill it deeper. Only Ron and Neville were left shivering on the sofa at the back.

I'm afraid it's horrible - Hermione is a horrible woman.

"Huh? Wait a minute." Ron's head seemed to light up as a light bulb suddenly lit up. He suddenly thought of something. "Isn't Harry taking a medicinal bath? Hermione, does that mean he is actually naked now?"

Hermione suddenly froze.

Honestly speaking, you couldn't see anything through the sticky, opaque reddish-brown liquid. You could only see Harry's head sticking out, but Hermione's face suddenly turned red.

And Ron continued.

"…If you consider Hagrid's hut as the men's dormitory, then Harry is bathing here. Then, Hermione, are you considered to be breaking into the men's dormitory to watch Harry bathing?"

Ron's mind had never been so quick, jumping like lightning.

"Ron... stop talking... keep your voice down, keep your voice down..." Pulling Ron's arm, Neville whispered.

Hermione's body was as stiff as a robot. She turned around mechanically, her cheeks flushed and her eyes filled with burning anger.

"Ron!!!"

Ron Weasley, male, 11 years old, died from punctured ribs.

The atmosphere in the cabin was somewhat awkward, and Hagrid had to tell several wizard jokes to barely smooth over the topic. Gradually, a few people started chatting about things in the castle again.

"Speaking of which, I heard that there is something strange going on in the castle right now?" Hagrid said after taking a big bite of a sandwich. "I happened to hear some students discussing this the other day. It was said that Professor Snape seemed to have become a different person?"

"Ha, then it's definitely not just Snape who has changed, but also Professor McGonagall." Ron was full of resentment when he talked about this. "You can't imagine what the castle is like now. Hagrid, even Fred and George said that the professor and the others must have taken the wrong medicine, or maybe they both took the wrong medicine - or everyone was poisoned!"

"Snape is now trying to give Harry extra points in various ways every day, such as two points for helping classmates, one point for abiding by school rules... or one point for taking the initiative to say hello to the professor. Oh my god!!"

"...That's a bit weird indeed," Hagrid muttered after a pause. He knew what Snape was like in Hogwarts. "Professor Snape gave Gryffindor a crazy amount of extra points. Ah, why would I have such a dream?"

"He also praised my horns for being handsome," Harry interjected, and Hagrid began to doubt his life even more.

"What you can't imagine is still to come! Hagrid!" Ron said angrily after taking a sip of black tea, "If Snape is madly giving Harry extra points, then Professor McGonagall is madly deducting points from Gryffindor!!"

"It's like she's going to take away whatever Snape adds!! Merlin's pants! Isn't she the head of Gryffindor?!"

"They must be crazy!!"

"I, I think Professor McGonagall has her own reasons," Neville stammered, "After all, she is not only the headmaster of Gryffindor, but also the vice-headmaster. She must uphold fairness."

"Then why didn't she do anything when Snape was frantically adding points to Slytherin and deducting points from Gryffindor?!" Ron said unconvincedly, exhaling two streams of air from his nostrils.

"Ahem, you'd better not talk about professors like that... Especially Professor McGonagall, she must have her reasons for doing that." Hagrid interrupted Ron and said, "By the way, Ron, if Snape is giving Harry extra points, why do you sound so angry?"

"Because he was staring at me and deducting points!!" Ron felt so wronged when talking about this. He was full of resentment, "Oh my God! I never thought that a person could have so many roundabout and abusive words!!"

(End of this chapter)