Horse-head Wall Reflects the Qing Dynasty

Chapter 108 It's difficult to speak of life and death, and justice hasn't been served yet.
A ridiculous affair, now relegated to the stage of a play. No one could have imagined that the top scholar, who had become the talk of the town thanks to his "love for his wife," would be demoted again and again, banished from the capital, and barred from ever serving as an official again, thus ending his path to promotion.

For most people, this result is already quite remarkable.

Ling Xiao didn't die, so Zhang Shuwen was even less likely to die. But it was precisely because Ling Xiao didn't die that all this commotion became meaningful.

"Lord Cheng Jianwei spoke up for you through his teacher." The madam of the music academy could see Ling Xiao's recent despondency. "Don't think about trading your life for that man's. People in high positions don't care about your life."

Over time, Ling Xiao stopped thinking about dying, and the madam of the brothel gradually placed the brothel's account books in front of him, teaching him how to do accounting.

“My mother has connections in the capital to support the music academy, but I don’t.” Ling Xiao looked up and, by chance, saw the expectant look in the eyes of the music academy madam, and was stunned.

Ling Xiao was intelligent, but she never had any confidence. Even when it came to playing instruments or singing, even though everyone said Ling Xiao was the most captivating performer in the music academy…

"Back then, there was a scholar who promised me that he would go to the capital to take the imperial examination, and that he would definitely come back to marry me after he passed."

"He might be more sentimental than Zhang Shuwen..."

The courtesan recounted the story from back then, but unlike Ling Xiao, who had doubts in his heart yet still went to the capital, the courtesan, who was also a young girl at the time, chose to retire gracefully.

Taking a step back opened up a whole new world. It left the other party with enough room for remembrance and provided ample room for maneuver, transforming their relationship from lovers to servants, and allowing the girls in the music academy to sell their art but not their bodies.

"If you want to rely on a man's enduring affection, you can't be yourself." The madam of the music academy said this, then handed the account books to Ling Xiao to digest before turning and leaving.

In another room, Guan Yin was drinking tea, waiting for someone to come in from outside.

"You've been gone for almost a year, is your private school still running?"

“Mother should have known long ago that I’m not the original Miss Guan.” Guan Yin put down her teacup, poured half a cup of tea for the person standing opposite her, and smiled. “If I don’t go back to teaching, I won’t know anything she knows, will I?”

The madam of the music academy didn't stand on ceremony, sat down, and picked up her cup: "Weren't the popular stories on the capital's stage written by you?"

Most of these were things Cheng Heng had told Guan Yin before he left—so Guan Yin just smiled and didn't give a direct response.

"Forget it, there's no use in you staying here."

"Yes, there's no use in keeping me here."

The madam of the music academy glanced at Guan Yin, who was looking down at the ripples in his teacup. The bitterness hidden in his eyes far exceeded the bitterness of the tea that had been brewed three times.

The two people said almost the same things, but their feelings were completely different.

After the tea was finished, Guan Yin got up.

“I will come to check on him eventually, and hopefully my mother will be able to persuade Lingxiao by then.”

"That's natural."

The two did not say much. When the madam of the music academy saw Guan Yin to the door, Ling Xiao also appeared inside and quietly watched Guan Yin.

Just then, the Cheng family couple, who had come to see Ling Xiao, appeared. For them, this adopted daughter was like a lost treasure returned; the guilt they had felt towards Cheng Mian was now entirely repaid to Ling Xiao…

Of course, the two regretted it. They had made all sorts of demands on their son Cheng Mian, and what ultimately drove him to his death was the very demand that could never be met.
Now that the adopted daughter is a member of the music academy, it seems that the fame and literary achievements that the Cheng couple once sought for their own son, and the glory they wanted to bring to their family, have all become a joke.

"Father, mother."

After exchanging greetings, Ling Xiao welcomed Guan Yin inside, and the madam from the music academy followed. No one else saw Guan Yin off.

Three years passed in the blink of an eye, and most of the students at the private school still came to Guan Yin as their teacher. As for Guan Yin's true identity, the parents all kept it a secret…

"Knock knock knock..." A knock on the door broke the silence that had been weighing heavily on Guan Yin's life.

"Who?"

"It's me," the person outside the door replied, worried that their voice had changed after being gone for so long. "It's me, Liu Jiao'an."

In fact, Guan Yin had already recognized the identity of this old friend when Liu Jiao'an spoke. His hesitation stemmed from the hazy dream he had more than three years ago, as well as from his surprise at Liu Jiao'an's unexpected return to her hometown.

They welcomed the guests in, made tea and poured water, and the two sat facing each other at the table, remaining silent for a long time.

"Are you going back this time?" Guan Yin suddenly asked. "Or are you staying here for a while?"

"I won't go back."

Guan Yin was clearly surprised by Liu Jiao'an's straightforward response, and paused in his grip on the cup.

“My aunt is right. Everyone should have a part of their own life.” Liu Jiao’an took the cup from the former’s hand and placed it steadily on the table. “It was my biological father who let down my mother, let down me, and let down the people.”

"I have gained a life of luxury, but I have also lost my parents. I should learn to live my own life."

"Hmm." None of the grand principles Guan Yin imparted to his students were applicable to the person before him. Four years had passed since they parted, and Liu Jiao'an seemed to have let go of many things she once thought she would never be able to get over.

"Are you still teaching?"

"Ah."

How are the students?

"Respecting teachers and valuing the Way, some of the oldest members have already passed the imperial examinations." Guan Yin answered Liu Jiao'an's seemingly casual questions with meticulous care.

"Haven't you found a way back yet?"

Finally, their conversation fell silent over this question, and the question-and-answer relationship was reversed at this moment, with Guan Yin beginning to ask Liu Jiao'an questions one by one.

Are you getting used to life at your aunt's place?

"it is good."

The answer to every question was always "Why worry?", with no perfunctory words or calculations.

The boxing practiced with the Taoist priests early in the morning, from heavy to light, has regained its own shape—Liu Jiao'an has slowly found herself again, how can it not be considered "good"?

"Not going back?"

"Yes, I'll stay down the mountain."

Guan Yin asked the same question again, but Liu Jiao'an didn't get angry. Instead, she responded to the former in a different way.

What are your plans for the future?

"do not know."

“Maybe I should find a place to embroider and sell some flowers,” Liu Jiao’an shook her head. “Or maybe I should make some food and drinks to sell…who knows? I have to do something to support myself.”

"Alright."

Liu Jiao'an quietly settled down, and the two of them helped each other with their lives, just like they did back in the small courtyard at the foot of the tea mountain.

A few days later, Cheng Jianwei's letter arrived at the private school with him. His gaze fell on Liu Jiao'an, and he hesitated to speak.

"This is..." "Miss Jiao'an." Before Guan Yin could introduce Liu Jiao'an's identity, Cheng Jianwei first cupped his hands in greeting.

"you remember me?"

"The Liu family has been ruined..." In fact, many things are not so easy to let go of, and Liu Jiao'an still can't let go of that past.

"Who the Liu family harmed is your father's business, but you saved me when I was young." Cheng Jianwei didn't bring the unspoken words of officialdom into her personal life. Looking at Liu Jiao'an in front of her, she slowly recounted the past that the latter might have long forgotten.

"If it weren't for that little girl who handed me those few sweet candies, I might not have survived to be adopted by the teacher."

"When I was a child, I felt a sense of familiarity when I saw Jiao'an and my younger sister together."

A casual act of kindness, Liu Jiao'an's memory of which had long been blurred, was remembered by Cheng Jianwei until now. Coincidentally, it allowed Liu Jiao'an to completely let go of the insurmountable relationship between a family and a person.

Cheng Jianwei still had work to do and didn't stay long, but these words were enough to make the hesitant Liu Jiao'an feel certain of her existence, even more so than a thousand insightful words from others.

“Jiao’an, you are you. Your father wouldn’t just save a beggar child on a whim, but you happened to save me… I think this is not a coincidence, but rather because you are different from your father from the bottom of your heart.”

After Cheng Jianwei left, Liu Jiaoan stayed by Guan Yin's side, tidying up the room, grinding ink, and organizing the paper.

Before you know it, autumn has passed and winter has arrived...

"My mother's tea plantation and courtyard are going to be overgrown again. I'll go and tidy them up another day, so I won't stay here any longer." One morning, just after the cold rain had stopped, Liu Jiao'an suddenly said goodbye to Guan Yin and said she was going back to her mother's courtyard at the foot of the tea plantation.

"So urgent?"

"Once spring arrives and the yard is tidied up, you can come and see the mountains and the tea trees."

The Cheng family couple took care of the courtyard to some extent, so the tea plantation and the courtyard were never neglected. Therefore, Guan Yin understood that this was nothing more than an excuse from Liu Jiao'an.

An excuse to leave—Liu Jiao'an thought of what she wanted to do and didn't want to confine herself to the past anymore… It was a good thing, but Guan Yin wasn't used to it.

"Go then, I'll come find you in the spring."

Compared to three years, three months is far too short. Guan Yin hadn't even recovered from the hustle and bustle and loneliness of the New Year when spring arrived.

The private school was very busy, and even in the spring, Guan Yin did not actually go to the courtyard to find Liu Jiao'an. It was only after the latter sent a letter and a packet of tea that Guan Yin remembered the invitation.

But spring has already passed.

"Sir, someone has delivered a package of... dried tofu."

Autumn has just begun, and the golden osmanthus blossoms on the trees are sparse and indistinct, not even as bright as the sunlight filtering through the leaves.

A student ran into the house carrying a bag of dried tofu. The salty smell of the brine reached Guan Yin's nostrils first, making him vaguely recall that a few years ago when Cheng Heng was still around, he had talked about dried tofu and tea-flavored dried tofu several times.

"Who sent it?"

"There is a letter that you must open yourself, sir." The student then took out another letter from under the wrapped dried tofu. "It was delivered by a girl who is about my age. She asked for your name and then left."

The dried tofu was a gift from Liu Jiao'an. Besides the tea plantation she couldn't lose, Liu Jiao'an also started a tofu business.

Tofu, soy milk, dried tofu, bean curd sheets... every single bean was used. On a small sheet of paper, the author wrote rambling thoughts.

"Sir, this dried tofu..."

"You all go and share some, but remember to save two pieces for me."

The students had been waiting for the teacher's words, and they ran off in a flash, sharing the dried tofu. No family that could afford to study lacked a bite of dried tofu, yet they especially loved the teacher's. Even something they couldn't stomach on ordinary days suddenly became "delicious."

Autumn has deepened, and the osmanthus trees are in full bloom. The green leaves have finally been overwhelmed by the golden blossoms, and the whole courtyard is filled with an indescribable fragrance. The room, which used to be full, will soon have fewer students.

This person has a cold, that person has indigestion. They eat and drink too much in autumn, and some people are naturally afraid of overly strong floral fragrances, causing them to sneeze constantly.

"Sir, what is the point of reading?"

Listening to the students' questions, Guan Yin realized that he had been studying for too long: what is the use of teaching?

Reading books? If you read books well, you can become a teacher.

He was a teacher who wanted to educate people, and he did indeed produce several students who were both excellent in character and academics—at least they didn't end up in brothels deceiving young women's feelings.

Being able to teach means that at this time one won't starve to death and can live more like a human being.

"So that you can live a good life."

"Why do you teach, sir?"

"Because I want to talk about it like my husband does... I want to talk about it."

Osmanthus blossoms fell on his shoulder. Guan Yin recalled the student's question from half an hour ago and thought of his own teacher.

"A garden full of students may not necessarily reflect how many of them have achieved great success in society."

"It's not that they're living their lives in a way that makes them remember a particular thing you said, and that it influences a choice they make, big or small."

Guan Yin didn't know if he had lived up to the standards of a teacher or mentor, but he was certain that his teacher had—whenever he calmed down to think about the "meaning" of many things, a few of his teacher's words would always come to mind.

The osmanthus blossoms fell relentlessly on my shoulders. The wind was a bit chilly, and the courtyard was eerily deserted, somewhat like the day when the students couldn't get the door open and had to climb over the wall to rescue their teacher.

"Yunniang, you saw her again?"

A familiar voice rang in his ears. Guan Yin opened his eyes and found himself standing on a stable platform—a stability he had never felt before.

"You brought her back?"

Whose voice is that? Yunniang? This voice hasn't been heard for at least four years. As the mountain mist blows by, Guan Yin's eyes well up with tears.

Is it Shi Lang or Qing Song Ling?

“Yes, you can’t move, so I’ll go and take a look.” It was Yunniang who spoke again.

"She's listening."

Guan Yin recognized it now; it was Qing Songling responding.

"She's thinking about it."

And so it was; Yunniang, Shilang, and Qingsongling knew everything Guan Yin did.

Looking up, he saw the pine tree stretching out, standing on the solid rock wall, with clouds leaning against the wind and rocks against the mountain. Guan Yin suddenly became worried about the music academy.

“She’s thinking about someone else again,” Yunniang said with a smile. “She’s a person who can tell a lot from small things, so she must not be a bad person.”

He could see the big picture from small details. Was Cheng Jianwei involved? Who would he consult? The Jiaofang (a type of entertainment institution) or Liu Jiao'an? Or perhaps both?
"Alright, let her go back to her students!" Shi Lang suddenly spoke, smiling as he looked at Yun Niang, "You..."

In fact, Guan Yin wanted to say that he was not in a hurry to go back, because he had met three mountain spirits, which made Cheng Heng's past with his own world seem less distant.