Horse-head Wall Reflects the Qing Dynasty

Chapter 103 The Green Hills and Bright Sunshine: A Long Road Ahead to the Capital

Zhang Shuwen's information was indeed correct. Less than ten days after the letter reached Ling Xiao's hands, Cheng Heng received the order to be transferred to the capital.

"I have to go back to the capital again..." Returning to the capital filled Cheng Heng with apprehension—he was terrified of this place where officials and people devoured each other. But fear was useless; no matter what, Cheng Heng had to return to the capital!
Cheng Heng had been packing his luggage for half a day, but still showed no intention of setting off. Guan Yin knew the former's helplessness, and could see the things that had been packed in and taken out time and time again. Knowing that all words of comfort would be futile, he said: "Go ahead, perhaps the way back to the capital is just around the corner."

There are always people who think that since you've transmigrated, you should become an empress and a pillar of the state. Guan Yin has read quite a few novels like this. When he puts his mind at ease and ignores the fact that his major is history, Guan Yin also enjoys these kinds of exciting stories.

But novels are just novels; they can't compare to reality. The protagonists in these stories are either hit by cars or have lost all hope in life. For such people, the meaning of time travel lies in making something of themselves in this new world, no matter what!

Unlike Cheng Heng, I only hope to return to the place where I can truly shine – to use the experience I gained from this world to tell more meaningful stories and teach more meaningful books.

"Tuk-tuk-tuk."

Another knock at the door interrupted their thoughts. Their eyes met in mid-air, and Guan Yin spoke first: "I'm afraid someone knows I've been transferred to the capital and is taking this opportunity to offer their congratulations."

As Cheng Heng walked through the courtyard, sunlight bathed him, casting his long, slender shadow in the interplay of light and shadow on the ground beneath the eaves. Busy opening the door, Cheng Heng was oblivious to the worry etched in Guan Yin's gaze behind him.

"it's me."

Ling Xiao wasn't the only one standing at the door.

The Cheng couple originally wanted to send Ling Xiao directly to the capital, but he refused to let them travel such a long distance. After bargaining for a whole day, they came up with this compromise.

"Why don't we stay here and go back later?" Guan Yin knew that the two were worried that Ling Xiao would be bullied and have nowhere to turn for help. If it weren't for the fear of affecting the latter's relationship with Zhang Shuwen, they would have moved the whole family to the capital.

Looking at the three people huddled together in front of him, Guan Yin couldn't help but sigh...

Cheng Mian grew up under the heavy pressure of his father, and it can be said that he had no faults whatsoever in his life. In the end, he died in a miserable state.

Finally, the one he truly cherished was this adopted daughter whom he had mistakenly taken in by chance.

If Cheng Mian could know this from beyond the grave, he certainly wouldn't resent his parents and Ling Xiao for this, and he might even regret that his father couldn't get over his death all these years.

People always say that teachers have seen the best students, so they will do anything to make their own children "better".

But Guan Yin doesn't think so—how many students in school work hard in class, after class, and at home, but in many cases, intelligence ultimately determines a child's upper limit, which is something that teachers and parents need to acknowledge.

Even the most outstanding children will eventually succumb to pressure. Guan Yin studied educational psychology and couldn't guarantee that she could apply it to her own future children, but as an outsider, she could clearly see the source of all tragedies.

Cheng's father's regret today is not entirely unfounded; meeting Ling Xiao can be considered a blessing from heaven for the Cheng family couple...

"Let's not stay then." Sure enough, even now, Cheng's father is still running away.

I don't want to see these children studying in the private school. Seeing them inevitably reminds me of my own Mian'er. Even though Cheng Mian was the best student in the private school, and even though I was secretly overjoyed with my wife, I still couldn't give Cheng Mian a positive affirmation.

They nitpick, looking for a poorly written word, a nonsensical sentence, or simply leaving only the phrase: "It could be better."

How to make it better, how to improve it, and in what direction should it be improved? To this day, even Mr. Cheng cannot say.

"I'll escort Ling Xiao to the capital; that way, we can look after each other along the way." It was Cheng Heng's words that broke the eerie atmosphere.

Cheng Heng could see that Guan Yin's sympathy for Cheng's father was tinged with emotion. As for the reason, the latter revealed the real reason behind it in his repeated moments of confusion.

“I had a classmate in college whose father was a judge and mother was a doctor. Both of them were outstanding individuals in their time, and their child got into a teacher’s college… It was such a perfect family, and so many people envied them.” Guan Yin’s seemingly casual remark revealed why she always kept Cheng Mian in mind.

"To be honest, since she's in the same class as me, I sometimes feel envious and even a little jealous."

"Even though she doesn't care about scholarships or anything like that, her grades have always been in the top two percent of her class. Except for sports, which are a little weak... I heard that she was born prematurely when she was little, and her parents calculated the dates of her pregnancy so that she could be born before September 1st and start school a year earlier."

"But even so, her parents were still not satisfied and made her run five kilometers every day."

"Later, she got a boyfriend, but her parents weren't very happy with his parents, so after having dinner together, they told her to break up with him... She broke up with him very decisively, and at that time we couldn't see any emotional problems in her at all. She had even finished her teacher qualification exam a long time ago, while we were still busy with school matters."

Guan Yin didn't know much about what happened after that. He only knew that something had happened at the school, and the dormitories for both boys and girls had been changed—it was said that someone had jumped off the roof!

“There’s a lot to memorize in law and medicine, so her parents always felt that the pressure she was under wasn’t much at all; they just thought she wasn’t working hard enough.” Guan Yin only heard this from the girl’s former roommate later. Even her roommates, who lived with her every day, never noticed anything unusual about her emotions.

"Such a talented girl, what a pity."

Cheng Heng remembered that after he gave that response, Guan Yin smiled but did not respond.

Looking at the Cheng family couple and Ling Xiao before him, Cheng Heng finally understood the meaning behind Guan Yin's smile—everyone only saw the girl's "ability," and felt sorry for her because of her abilities and achievements. But wasn't her death precisely because of these "achievements"?
These achievements that were "not enough" actually crushed a living person's life!
"That's fine then. You should set off as soon as possible after lunch." Guan Yin knew that Cheng Heng had already prepared the carriage for the afternoon's departure. Even if he was reluctant to leave now, he couldn't miss the deadline for reporting for his new post...

The sun shone as usual, casting two smooth and neat tracks on the road. Guan Yin looked over, pressed his right eyebrow, and breathed a slight sigh of relief.

As they rounded the green hills, the rhythmic sound of horses' hooves and the creaking of wheels filled the air. Cheng Heng and Ling Xiao sat on either side of each other, maintaining a distance that was neither too close nor too far.

"I'll rent another carriage once we get to the capital, so people won't criticize us."

A mischievous child had placed a stone on the official road, causing the carriage to swerve around it and startle Cheng Heng, who was resting with his eyes closed.

"Of course." The newly appointed top scholar insisted on marrying Madam Du. If he continued to entangle himself with the third-ranked scholar, Ling Xiao would be overwhelmed by gossip and rumors in the capital.

With the new broom sweeping clean and the protection of officials like Liu Qingxian gone, Cheng Heng's journey was smooth sailing, without any setbacks.

Having just rounded a mountain, they were greeted by a continuous stretch of hills, high and low. Cheng Heng sat in the carriage, his body jolted and relaxed, and he had long since lost interest in the scenery. "Lord Cheng, tell me about your place," Ling Xiao said, his heart already set on the capital. "I heard Guan Yin mention it before; there's such a magical place."

"The place is still the same place, it's just that we were different back then."

The same green hills, the same houses, but different times.

“Back in our day, as long as you earned your money through your own abilities, there was no profession that was looked down upon… Whether it was singing and dancing or opera, people would respect you.”

"Can you earn respect just by earning money through your own abilities?" Ling Xiao murmured to himself.

"That was a good time."

“Yes, it’s a good time.” Cheng Heng nodded, his gaze returning to the rolling mountains outside the car window.

The era that is hard to return to, like these towering mountains that are hard to leave, was opened up by groups of talented people...

"Our predecessors, who were our generation, put in a lot of effort. It was because of their respect for themselves and the things they did that our generation is respected."

After saying it, Cheng Heng realized how awkward it was, but Ling Xiao understood—similar things had been said to him time and time again by both the madam of the music academy and Guan Yin.

Do you want to go back?

Cheng Heng withdrew his gaze and nodded solemnly: "Of course."

The conversation between the two paused briefly, as the carriage passed through the narrow valley and reached a flat village path, where the surroundings suddenly opened up.

"How did you meet Zhang Shuwen? Ling Xiao, do you really think that someone..." Cheng Heng suddenly spoke, but didn't know how to describe Zhang Shuwen's mistakes.

For a moment, Cheng Heng thought: Perhaps what Ling Xiao loved was the "respect" that Zhang Shuwen showed to her, a girl from a music academy, in a way that seemed different from others.

Without Zhang Shuwen's persistence month after month, year after year, perhaps Zhang Shuwen's "respect" would not have penetrated so deeply into Ling Xiao's heart.

"Do you really think Zhang Shuwen respects you and likes you?" Cheng Heng changed his question. "Or rather, do you really love Zhang Shuwen?"

“We met at the brothel. At that time, he was devoted to me. When a wealthy merchant admired my beauty and wanted to buy me as a concubine, he stood up for me.”

Ling Xiao recalled his first meeting with Zhang Shuwen. There were many gentle and refined scholars, and equally many who spent lavishly.

What's truly rare is that Zhang Shuwen never forced himself to do anything. The only exception was that one time when he argued with his family in a letter, insisting that he drink with them.

Ling Xiao felt sorry for Zhang Shuwen, so he reluctantly agreed. After a night of drinking, Ling Xiao sang until his voice was hoarse—Zhang Shuwen sobered up the next day and apologized profusely.

It seems that it was at this moment that Ling Xiao truly felt that Zhang Shuwen was different. If she could marry such a man in this life, she would not repeat her mother's mistakes.

She would never have a daughter like herself, who, due to natural disasters, was sold into a brothel and spent her whole life being looked down upon for her origins.

"I don't understand what love is. The madam of the brothel never taught me, but the sisters in the brothel do. The relationship between Sister Guan and Jiao'an is not romantic love between a man and a woman."

"Therefore, I cannot answer you whether what I have with Shuwen is love... nor is it the dependence that you have with Guan Yin."

Ling Xiao's words reminded Cheng Heng. The dependence between himself and Guan Yin went beyond friendship, but it didn't feel like love either; it was more like family with no blood relation whatsoever.

Have you thought about what life would be like after you marry Zhang Shuwen?

"No."

"But marrying him would also be a way of giving Ling Xiao, who once belonged to the brothel, a proper ending."

As for what the outcome would be, Ling Xiao hadn't thought about it. It was nothing more than being a good wife and mother—their future children would never be mocked for their background.

"What about your future children? What if Zhang Shuwen is no longer as successful as he is now?"

Guan Yin once said that under natural disasters, it is not uncommon for even officials to sell their wives. Cheng Heng wanted to know: If such a day of destitution really came, what would Ling Xiao do?

"You've written too many stories in your novels. How could such a coincidence happen to all the same person?"

Ling Xiao's words went unanswered for a long time, and Cheng Heng fell asleep again amidst the swaying of the carriage, so his final words were rather incoherent.

Looking at this unreliable third-place scholar before him, Ling Xiao smiled helplessly. He looked out through the curtain at the clear blue sky, but a cloud of melancholy began to gather in his heart...

The long journey exhausted Cheng Hengdu's energy, and it also gradually wore down Ling Xiao's initial excitement and longing for the capital.

The capital city has been waiting for someone, and the anticipation expressed in the letters is gradually replaced by the unpredictable events that will occur when they finally meet.

"Shuwen, you won't let me down, right?" Only now did Ling Xiao realize that he had absolutely no initiative in the whole matter.

For the sake of his so-called love, Zhang Shuwen had already offended many respectable young ladies in the capital. If he couldn't afford to offend the newly appointed top scholar, surely he could at least afford to offend a helpless courtesan like himself?
Even with Cheng's parents, how could Cheng Mian's achievements be considered significant in a place like the capital?

"Lord Cheng, Miss Ling, it's getting dark. Shall we stop at the inn ahead and rest for the night before continuing our journey?"

The coachman's call failed to wake Cheng Heng, who was still asleep. Ling Xiao could only agree to the former on his own initiative—the setting sun shone on the endless fields, and the dim orange-red light made people feel drowsy, which was indeed good for sleeping.