Huayu: I'm reborn, but you still force me to be a scumbag?

Chapter 456 Just Laugh It Off

At last year's Academy Awards, Chen Nuo used his ingenious creativity to turn what was originally considered a rigid and lengthy old-fashioned event into the highest-rated event in the past twenty years.

On February 27, 2011, more than 2 million viewers watched ABC's live broadcast on television, witnessing how a 4740-year-old award was given a new lease on life overnight.

That "celebrity group photo," which broke records for reposts, has now been hailed by Wikipedia as "an indelible memory on the internet." William Gan, the pizza delivery guy he improvised with, is now a minor internet celebrity. His pizzeria attracts tourists from all over the world every day who come to take photos with him in front.

The two pizzas that Chen Nuo casually ordered that night—the country-style and the cheese and bacon flavors—have now become the store's best-selling items.

In a mid-year interview with an entertainment tabloid, the pizzeria owner said that Chen Nuo is now a permanent honorary VIP of their pizzeria and can enjoy free pizzas at the pizzeria for life.

This is why, when the official Oscars announced two months ago that Billy Crystal would host the February 26, 2012 Academy Awards ceremony for the ninth time, many netizens on Twitter, Facebook, and even YouTube expressed strong disappointment.

"OMG, this year's Oscars is just another boring gathering of grandpas. Looks like I don't need to worry about it anymore."

"Great news! The Oscars announced today that they're abandoning young audiences. (Middle finger)"

"Our wish is very simple: let Director Chen preside! Why can't these people fulfill even this small wish of ours?"

As December draws to a close and the major award ceremonies are fast approaching, fans like Susan have given up hope, believing that they will likely not see her at the award ceremonies this year, nor will they be able to laugh and enjoy the same visual and emotional experience as last year.

Unexpectedly, at exactly 12:00 noon on Christmas Day, the Golden Globe Awards website, official Twitter account, Chen Nuo's personal Facebook account, and Weibo account in China simultaneously released a globally stunning promotional poster:

"NO CHENNUO, there is no Chen Nuo."
No Gold Globe.

Within ten minutes, the news was quickly reported as breaking news by major global entertainment media outlets such as CNN, BBC, NBC, Variety, and Entertainment Weekly.

Within 30 minutes, this post soared to the top of Twitter's global trending list, and it also instantly dominated Weibo's hot search list.

There have been over 25 related posts on Twitter, and the Weibo popularity index has soared to 33.

"Is this real? OMG OMG OMG!!!"

"Chennuo is back!!! Thank you Santa!!!"
"Host the Golden Globe Awards? I'm already screaming!!!"

"?...!!!" (Really? Wow, that's crazy... This Christmas is amazing!!!)

"チェンノーが戻ってきた! This year's award ceremony, Jue対に见狠せない!" (Chen Nuosang is back! Don't miss this year's award ceremony!)
"C'est le plus beau cadeau de Nol de tous les temps !!" (This is the best Christmas present ever!!)

Fans from all over the world, speaking English, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, French, and other languages, expressed their surprise and excitement, and the global social network seemed to be ignited at that moment.

Alison's phone was bombarded with calls from reporters who were forced to work overtime starting at 12:30 pm. She barely put down her phone for a full hour. Only when the battery died and the screen went black did she finally breathe a sigh of relief, throw her phone on the sofa, and slump into a chair in the hospital room.

"Mom, is Chen really going to host the Golden Globe Awards?"

On the hospital bed, a girl of about fifteen or sixteen years old looked up and asked.

She had a shaved head, and her skin was slightly pale due to her long hospital stay, but her complexion was still good. Her eyes were bright and lively, and she looked very intelligent.

“Yes.” Allison got up and walked to the bedside. After sitting down, she gave a particularly gentle smile and asked softly, “Want to see?” Her expression and tone were completely different from those of the tough and professional public relations manager.

The girl nodded without hesitation and said, "I want to watch it. I thought last year's Oscars were really interesting; they were the most interesting Oscars I've ever seen. I thought he wouldn't be hosting this year... Mom, you lied to me when I asked you before!"

"This was just decided a few days ago," Allison said with a smile. "I feel this year's Golden Globe Awards will be even more interesting."

"Oh?" the girl exclaimed. "Could it be that Chen has prepared a secret weapon?"

Allison said seriously, "Yes, he's preparing a secret weapon. But unfortunately, Zoe, you can't watch this year's Golden Globes."

The girl looked disappointed and said, "Huh? Why? Is it so late?"

Allison laughed and said, "No, it's because I heard that the jokes he prepared this time aren't suitable for children. I'll tell the caregiver to let you go to bed early."

The girl protested, "Mom, you can't do this! I'm not a child anymore, I'm already 17."

Allison laughed and said, "You're only 17. You're not an adult yet, kid."

At this point, the ward door was suddenly pushed open, and a black-haired nurse with an Asian face pushed a cart of examination equipment, on which was placed a portable ultrasound machine. Behind her was an elderly male doctor with gray hair.

The young nurse smiled and said, "Zoe, I could hear your voice from outside."

Zoe said, "Ms. Zhang, my mom won't let me watch the Golden Globes! Do you know who's hosting this year?"

The nurse pushed the medical equipment cart to the bedside, skillfully preparing to operate it while asking curiously, "Who is it? Could it be Richie Gervais again?"

"No, no, no—I'm telling you, it is—"

"Wow, really?!"

"Really, really! My mom was just over an hour ago—"

Zoe chattered away like a little sparrow.

Alison quietly stood up and followed the doctor out of the ward. The two walked out of the ward one after the other and came to an office at the end of the corridor.

"We just received news that Zoe is a match for stem cells. Once the cold chain transportation is completed, the surgery can be performed next month," the doctor said with a smile as soon as he sat down.

Allison gasped, almost in disbelief, and exclaimed in surprise, "Really? A match?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, the match is ideal. The surgery may be scheduled for the 16th or 17th. In the meantime, we will arrange preoperative preparations."

"I...I want to ask, what is the success rate?" Allison's voice trembled slightly.

The doctor gave a reassuring smile. "If everything goes smoothly, the success rate is over 85%. Don't worry, we will do our best."

Allison's eyes reddened, clearly trying to hold back tears. "Okay... thank you, thank you so much. So, is there anything I need to do now?"

The doctor said, "Spend more time with her."

……

……

Three days after Christmas, Allison returned to LA.

When Chen Nuo ran into her at home, he was genuinely surprised. "Hey, why are you back so soon? Why didn't you stay home a few more days?"

Allison smiled naturally and said, "I need to come back and keep an eye on those people at the Golden Globes. So, shall we head out now, Boss?"

Chen Nuo gave her a deep look, nodded, and said, "Let's go."

This day marked the first meeting between Chen Nuo and the Golden Globe Awards directing team. Chen Nuo would work with the directors to determine the overall style and visual tone of this year's awards ceremony. Once this was settled, the writing team, art team, and music director could begin their work, and the entire creative process for the ceremony could officially begin.

Ultimately, the communication between Chen Nuofang and the Golden Globe Awards directing team went very smoothly during this meeting.

Not only because, unlike the Oscars, there aren't any clueless second-generation industry figures mixing in with the creative process and offering their opinions, but also because the Golden Globes and the Oscars are fundamentally different in their format.

The Oscars are held at the Kodak Theatre, and in terms of floor space, seating capacity, and stage size, the Golden Globes cannot compare.

The Golden Globe Awards have been held annually since 1961 in the International Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton Hotel, adopting a "banquet + awards ceremony" format. The stage, or more accurately, the awards podium, is only about ten meters wide and five meters deep. Compared to the Oscars, which can accommodate large choruses and group stage plays, this place is more like a "temporary podium." Including the set design, if several award recipients were to go up there, they would probably have difficulty turning around.

Therefore, at the Golden Globe Awards ceremony, the host undertakes almost all the "performative" tasks, becoming the true core and soul of the event. Whether the entire ceremony is a success or a failure depends entirely on the host's performance.

There will be no guest performances or dance performances. The only program for more than two hours is how the host does and says everything on stage.

The entire meeting went incredibly smoothly.

After all, the entire United States now believes that he deserves the vast majority of the credit for the success of the last Oscars. Those eye-catching creative ideas are said to have originated from him. This reputation has already spread throughout the industry, enough to make all the gala directors, screenwriters, and stand-up comedians across the country admire him.

Ultimately, this is the key reason why Philippe Gabriel invited him.

So what else is there to say?

The directors and screenwriters at the Golden Globes naturally follow his lead.

However, despite the discussions, Chen Nuo still felt that the outcome wasn't what he wanted. Two or three hours passed, and the only thing he felt he had gained somewhat was obtaining the contact information of a lead screenwriter, which would facilitate future communication.

That's why he was so grateful that Allison had come from Canada. Otherwise, he wouldn't have anyone to talk to. He figured he'd end up having to video chat. Who else could he talk to? Gulnazar? He'd asked her for advice, but he hadn't held out much hope; the girl hadn't said anything to him in all these days. Linghu was even less likely to come.

Leaving the Golden Globe Awards office building, Chen Nuo got into an Alphard with thick black tint. He had specially paid extra for this car, which he had just picked up from the dealership yesterday.

The reason was simple: after Christmas, the police outside his house left, and the thief who stole the cement slabs hadn't been caught yet. He was really uneasy, so he wanted to get a spacious car that would make it easier to dodge. After all, if someone really caused trouble, the size of an Alphard would at least allow him to maneuver between the seats—unlike ordinary sedans, where if a shot came at you, you wouldn't even have anywhere to hide.

As soon as he started the car, he asked, "Allison, what do you think?"

Allison seemed to have anticipated his question, and looked at him seriously, saying, "I think they have a point, but... I saw the way you were at the meeting, and you clearly had other ideas. So, I'd actually like to know your opinion."

Chen Nuo touched his nose and said, "My opinion is that it's really boring. Don't you think so? On a country stage like Hilton's, telling a few lukewarm jokes, don't you find it particularly uninteresting?"

Allison frowned, as if deep in thought.

Chen Nuo waited earnestly for his reply.

However, what he said was actually half true and half false.

It's true—as a fickle and unfaithful man, he inherently craves novelty. When people at the meeting kept suggesting he continue in the style of last year's Oscars, he subconsciously resisted.

The truth is—even if he wanted to repeat it, he couldn't.

Those people all assumed that his speaking style was just like that—humorous and natural. But little did they know that many of his jokes from last year were adapted and plagiarized. The source, well, was Ellen DeGeneres' Oscar that year—it was such a classic that he watched it dozens of times, picking out the usable parts and tweaking them a bit.

Aside from that year's ceremony, he hadn't actually studied any other award ceremonies. Now, if he wanted to find someone to copy from, he really couldn't.

As for his own writing style?

It's nothing like the harmless banter of Allen. What he's really good at is the kind of face-to-face jokes he made with Scarlett Johansson and Harvey during last year's Oscars livestream—jokes that have a bit of a hurtful edge.

In truth, there's a reason behind this style.

He was a die-hard fan of David Chappell after his comedic return in 2020.

Ricky Gervais was criticized by the public and guests last year for his sharp tongue, with people saying he spoke too harshly.

Those people who have heard David Chappell's jokes on Netflix stand-up comedy albums since 2020 will know what truly awful means.

Race, gender, transgender, disability, Hollywood, celebrities, religion—all are objects of ridicule and mockery, using "stinginess" to break cognitive inertia and fully demonstrate the core charm of "offensive art."

After listening to the whole performance, you start to wonder why he wasn't killed by the audience.

This was exactly the question Allison wanted to ask.

“You mean… you want to be like Ricky Gervais? Aren’t you afraid of getting beaten up on stage?” Allison’s lips twitched slightly. “Actually, I was joking with my daughter in Canada a few days ago, saying that the jokes you prepared weren’t suitable for her, and I didn’t expect you to actually do it. I’m sorry, Chen, I have to stop you.”

"Oh why?"

Allison looked at him seriously and said, "Because it doesn't fit your image."

“What we need is a three-dimensional public image. This image can be multifaceted; it can be humorous, intelligent, humble, or proud… but it shouldn’t have any aspects that make people uncomfortable. You understand? We can’t let the audience think of you and have negative, frowning images pop into their minds, like Ricky Gervais. That would not only scare away sponsors and reduce business opportunities, but it would also go against our original intention of hosting the Golden Globes.”

Okay, Alison is absolutely right. In fact, Chen Nuo doesn't want to end up like Dave Chappell, who had a great time but ended up being hated by the rainbow community and having to travel with a bunch of bodyguards wherever he goes.

Not to mention, his feminist label is now firmly in place, just as firmly established as Leonardo DiCaprio's image as an environmental activist.

Just a couple of days ago, during Christmas, he made a special trip to attend a Christmas charity dinner hosted by a feminist organization. This organization was founded using his famous "Me Too" slogan. At that dinner, he donated a full $10 to help women who experience sexual harassment in the workplace obtain legal aid.

This story even made it into the Los Angeles Times, with the reporter praising his conscience and his fight against cancer. It's fair to say his public image is now impeccable; he's practically a modern-day "Hollywood paragon of male virtue."

He would have to be crazy to ruin everything with some gender jokes—after all, he spent 10 on donations alone, and another 5 on public relations and appearances. He'd be heartbroken to throw 15 dollars into the water.

So what should I do?

Just as Allison finished speaking and felt a little troubled, a voice came from the back seat: "I don't think so."

Alison and Chen Nuo both turned around and saw Gulnazar sitting in the last row, looking at Alison with a serious expression, and said, "Alison, do you think the boss's jokes are like Ricky Gervais'? I don't think so."

“Oh? So what do you think is different?” Allison asked.

Gulnazar recalled these past few days, how every morning while she swam, the man would sit on the sun loungers under the eaves and eat breakfast.

She said it was for breakfast, but she's not stupid or blind. When she swims in her bikini, she always feels something lingering over her body.

Honestly, if it were someone else, she would have already lost her temper. This is blatant workplace sexual harassment.

But when it comes to Boss Chen... every time she feels like reminding the other person not to go too far, she walks up to them, looks at their face and the smile on it, and suddenly realizes that it's nothing at all.

So at this moment, she hesitated for a moment, then said with some certainty, "We look different. If the boss makes a joke that goes too far, I think... as long as the boss just laughs, it'll be fine."

(End of this chapter)