Tokyo: Rabbit Police and Her Evil Partner

Chapter 556 The Charm of Editing

Ping Yingzi was unaware of the inside story, and she didn't care what the two of them were up to; she just wanted to finish watching the program quickly so she could play games on the TV.

Before the TV program started, Yuan Yuzi called Ya Lan to let her good friend watch her on-screen performance. In those days, information wasn't readily available, and in the eyes of ordinary people, whether you played a good guy or a bad guy, just being on TV was a big deal.

Somehow, Moriki Aya casually relayed the information to Kazama Takusai, who then told Watanabe Shun—and once this reached Watanabe Shun's ears, it was as if the whole world knew.

Fushimi Shika repeatedly instructed him to keep a low profile and not to make a big fuss. He was only doing this to catch the murderer; if he scared the murderer away, it would defeat the purpose.

Everyone was very curious and ignored Fushimi Shika's words, nodding and agreeing verbally, promising not to watch the program that night, but actually turning on the TV as soon as it was time.

Even the officers on duty at the police station were no exception. There was a communal television in the break room, and everyone took a break to watch something to pass the time. Apart from the Special Investigations Unit officers, almost everyone in their social circles was watching the program.

Fushimi Shika leaned back on the sofa, holding popcorn in her left hand and a glass bottle of cola in her right, watching the broadcast and suddenly realizing that something terrible was about to happen.

Yuan Yuzi was still puzzled. She munched on her potato chips and turned to ask, "Wasn't this supposed to be a truth-hunting special? How did it turn into a prank variety show?"

Fushimi Shika remained silent.

The title animation lasts only a second or two, then the scene switches to a hidden camera perspective, an overhead shot of the street, with people coming and going on the city roadside, all of whom are blurred out.

There was only one man walking around casually; his face wasn't blurred.

The distant view slowly zoomed in, giving him a close-up of his face.

At this moment, a voice-over narration inserts: "This man strolling around on a weekday is Detective Shika Fushimi from the Sugamo Police Station."

"Mr. Fushimi recently insisted on joining the program team and recommended his boss, Section Chief OO (voiced), as the target of his pranks."

At this moment, two avatars of comedians appeared above the screen, one of whom, a middle-aged comedian, commented: "Damn! I also really want to prank my boss!" (Let's call him Comedian A for now).

Another sarcastic character, Mr. B, angrily retorted, "What nonsense are you spouting in front of your boss!"

Commentator A: "Ah! I'm so sorry, I didn't see Mr. XX..."

A burst of laughter and chatter lingers, then the scene shifts to Fushimi Shika signing the contract. This is footage he and Minamoto Tamako recorded some time ago. The original contract was signed privately, and Fushimi Shika had reviewed the terms and found no problems. He didn't expect to run into trouble during the re-recording.

Narrator: "The production team refused three times, but Mr. Fushimi was very persistent. This was his fourth visit, and he offered the production team a price they couldn't refuse..."

Commentator B: "Why don't you put that kind of perseverance into your work! It's strange, isn't it? It's absolutely strange! Why are you so obsessed with prank shows!"

Commentator A: "Maybe his boss is really annoying..."

Commentator B: "You, are you taking this opportunity to speak your mind?"

Commentator A (looking panicked and embarrassed): "Absolutely not! So what price did Mr. Fushimi offer the production team?"

Commentator B: "You're obviously changing the subject, aren't you?"

Commentator A: "Could it be money? Is Mr. Fushimi very rich?"

Commentator B: "Don't ignore me, hey!"

The scene immediately flashes back to the moment when Fushimi Shika first came to the door. He was carrying a wad of 10,000 yen bills and demanding that the producers make an episode similar to 'Good Cop and Bad Cop,' his expression very forceful.

This was also a reshot scene. The director and screenwriter told Shika Fushimi: "Donate cash to impoverished children in Africa," "Further develop the police officer's character," and "Please be assertive and don't appear too stingy with money."

In front of the television, Fushimi Shika snapped a piece of popcorn in one swift, powerful bite.

The narration continued: "Wrong! The production team also has integrity. We are responsible to the audience and would never accept money indiscriminately that would affect the quality of the program! So Mr. Fushimi's first attempt at bribery failed!"

Commentator B: "How could a police officer accept bribes?!"

Commentator A: "I'm getting more and more curious. What price did Mr. Fushimi ultimately offer?"

Accompanied by an exaggerated sound effect, the narrator announced the final answer: "Mr. Fushimi sent his girlfriend to the show!"

The screen switched to a shot of Minamoto no Tamako getting out of a taxi. The photographer gave her a close-up with a soft-focus effect, making her look adorable from every angle.

Narrator: "This is also a detective from the Sugamo Police Station, Officer Minamoto Tamako."

Commentator A: "Kawaii!"

Commentator B: "What?! The production team is acting strangely! They don't take money but they accept women? Did I come to the wrong production team?"

Then, the narrator explained the cause and effect at lightning speed, like reciting a tongue twister—Fushimi Shika decided to push his popular girlfriend out of the show in order to get on the show. Some time ago, Minamoto Tamako was caught in a scandal, and was rumored to be corrupt and misbehaving because she drove a luxury car. In reality, she is the eldest daughter of a wealthy family and is currently living with the poor Fushimi Shika. So, the show crew suddenly had a whimsical idea and decided to carry out a prank by filming in both the light and dark.

That's right, the director's apparent agreement to Fushimi Shika's plan to change the script was also part of the prank.

In front of the television, Fushimi Shika's face turned green. Minamoto Tamako was delighted, chuckling to herself. Fushimi Shika, with a stern face, rebuked her: "Still laughing! The plan has failed, and you still have the mind to laugh!"

"Let's think of another plan. You're always full of clever ideas anyway." Yuan Yuzi didn't take it seriously, her eyes still glued to the TV screen.

At this moment, the scene switches to the backstage of the dressing room, where Fushimi Shika is rehearsing his lines alone, pretending to be serious and repeatedly reciting "Violence for violence is my life motto"... Then the director lets the makeup artist in, and Fushimi Shika immediately changes his expression, pretending to be serious, coughs, and sits down in a chair.

A series of "hahahahaha" sound effects rang out as the tsukkomi (the character who makes sarcastic remarks) bantered and teased, making Minamoto Tamako laugh so hard she almost fell over. This scene occurred simultaneously in front of all the television viewers, who couldn't help but laugh.

Fushimi Shika blushed and crushed the popcorn bucket in his arms.

Whether he likes it or not, the show continues to be relaxing.

Unaware of what was going on, Minamoto Tamako entered, and a hidden camera was pointed at the two of them: Fushimi Shika seemed completely unconcerned, letting the makeup artist bustle around; Minamoto Tamako, holding a pipe in her small hand, looked bewildered and somewhat tired: "What... is this?"

“Investigating a case,” Fushimi Shika said, sitting in a chair.

The sarcastic character A seized the opportunity to interject: "Huh? Are you really investigating a case?"

Commentator B: "Are you an idiot?! You're obviously lying!"

The narrator notes that the director has now called the makeup artist away, leaving the two alone. Minamoto no Tamako leans closer to Fushimi Shika, looking down at the script in his hand, her ahoge (cowlick) swaying, and even with a serious expression, she's still adorable: "What are you doing?"

Seeing this, Fushimi Shika forgot all about his entrapment plan; all he wanted was for the show to broadcast the truth and let the audience understand his intentions, thus salvaging his public image...

"Beep beep beep... beep beep beep beep beep beep..."

Fushimi Shika looked at himself on the screen, all his words were muted, and as he spoke, he revealed an evil smile, twisting his ten fingers as if simulating a groping motion.

"Beep beep beep beep beep... Dereliction of duty... Beep beep beep beep beep... Hooked... Beep beep beep beep beep... Weakness... Beep beep beep beep beep beep..."

Fushimi Shika's face turned green with shock.

He took a sip of cola to cool down and complained, "This is clearly malicious editing! It completely distorts my original meaning!"

Minamoto Tamako defended the production team, saying, "Isn't investigating a murder case supposed to be kept secret? The production team also has an obligation to keep things confidential, so all the details about the murder case have to be censored and muted... Didn't the director tell us that before?" Fushimi Shika remembered, but that didn't stop him from being angry.

Yuan Yuzi didn't want to hear him criticize the production team anymore, so she waved her hand to interrupt, saying, "Alright, alright, it's not a big deal, let's keep watching quietly... Now it's my turn to say my lines!"

Fushimi Shikashin's line about farting was clearly filmed secretly!
He stared at the television screen. In the dressing room, Gen Tamako asked with a worried look, "Will this work?"

The cameraman gave her another close-up, perfectly highlighting the face of the melancholy beauty. What's even more infuriating is that the post-production editing added an angelic soft-focus effect.

Then the scene shifts, and Fushimi Shika pats the script, saying with a smug look, "Beep beep beep beep beep... beep beep beep beep beep... I'm already itching for more."

As he spoke, he reached out and pinched Yuan Yuzi's little face: "You're just a sweet and delicious thing that's delivered right to my door... beep beep beep... beep beep beep beep..."

"?"

A question mark appeared above Fushimi Shika's head.

He froze for a second, then flew into a rage, standing up and yelling, "Who told him to cut it like that?! This isn't how you mute someone! No way, I'm calling to complain!"

Yuan Yuzi ignored him and let him go to the living room to get the landline.

Fushimi Shika dialed the director's number, bombarded him with questions, and demanded that the TV station immediately remove the show, or he would sue Fuji TV for defamation.

The director wasn't flustered at all. He started out making prank shows. He just muttered something nonchalant: "Why did you change your phone number..." and then hung up the phone.

When Fushimi Shika called back, he only got a busy signal. He realized he had been blocked, so he tried calling on his cell phone, only to find that his number had been blocked long ago.

"Good good."

Fushimi Shika gritted his teeth, and in his extreme anger, he laughed.

He simply sat back down on the sofa, feigning magnanimity, and said, "It's nothing, I won't care about such a trivial matter. The highest form of humor is self-deprecation..."

"That's good, that's good," Yuan Yuzi interrupted, completely unconcerned, "Look, it's my scene again!"

On the television screen, Fushimi Shika patted Minamoto Tamako on the shoulder with a serious expression: 'Did you become a detective for fame? Don't forget your original aspirations! Catching the culprit is the most important thing!'

Commentator B: "Does anyone actually believe these cheesy lines from a morning drama?"

Commentator A: "If you're going to lie, at least come up with a clever one! Even I can see through it!"

Then, Gen Tamako nodded vigorously and gave a heavy "hmm".

The two tsukkomi (complaining characters) A and B shouted in unison, "We actually fell for it?! Really?!"

The soft-focus filter effect reappeared, with the troll A saying that Officer Yuan is a pure-hearted little angel, while the troll B says that Officer Yuan is a fool. The two bickered and argued with each other, which the audience enjoyed watching.

Fushimi Shika inexplicably felt a sour taste in his mouth.

As the scene shifted, another laugh-out-loud moment occurred.

The two received the 'character scripts' prepared in advance by the production team, and Watanabe Shun and others watching on TV were already suppressing their laughter. He didn't have to go to work now and had started hanging out with Kazama Takusai drinking again; at that moment, they were drinking and watching TV in the apartment next door.

When Fushimi Shika on the screen said, "Did you pick up the wrong script?"

The next second, Minamoto no Tamako heard a burst of laughter coming from next door and joined in the laughter. Fushimi Shika immediately stood up, wanting to bang on the wall to make Kazama Takusai next door quiet down, but then she felt embarrassed and simply sat back down on the sofa to sulk.

'My character in the script is a great detective! Diligent at work, meticulous in reasoning, a brilliant investigator, and all my colleagues like me… It seems really good.'

'No, no, no, no, no, no, this isn't right, the production team must have made a mistake.'

No sooner had he finished speaking than loud laughter came from next door.

Fushimi Shika couldn't take it anymore. He pretended to stretch, muttered something about how hot it was, and ran to the bathroom to take a shower. He rinsed his head with cold water and calmed down.

Yes, his plan was sound; the show created the image of a bad cop. Although it deviated slightly from his initial vision, it was still largely within his plan.

If nothing unexpected happens, the murderer will most likely target him.

Yes, that's what we said once we got out.

Fushimi Shika came up with the excuse of 'getting involved himself'. He planned to claim that the footage on the show was all staged by him, in order to create the image of a strategist who 'endures and hunts down criminals'.

“Minamoto no Tamako is on the first floor, you and the production team are on the second floor, but actually I’m on the third floor.” Fushimi Shika was almost convinced of this.

He turned off the tap with satisfaction and went back to the living room to watch TV.

However, Shika Fushimi was unaware of the seriousness of the situation. This was a two-hour variety show, and the five minutes that had just passed were merely an appetizer.

"In order to investigate the case, I have to go around every day to find out about the deceased's social circle and investigate suspicious suspects..." Fushimi Shika said to the camera.

Then the scene shifts, and the production crew secretly filmed Shika Fushimi buying a Zelda game disc on a weekday.

“I just stay at home watching TV every day, and occasionally play games with my seven or eight-year-old sister. All I do is eat, drink, and have fun…” Yuan Yuzi said to the camera.

The scene shifts again, and the production crew secretly filmed Minamoto no Tamako being harassed by the Yamaguchi-gumi, who continued to interrogate her.

"As everyone knows, I have always regarded being a famous detective and police inspector as my lifelong goal, and pursuing justice is my life motto..." Fushimi Shika posed with his arms crossed in front of the camera.

The scene shifts to Fushimi Shika chasing an ice cream truck, all in order to buy a scoop of the seasonal limited-edition flavor.

"Everyone knows I'm the detective in the police station who skips work and takes the most days off. My life motto is to procrastinate as long as I can..." Yuan Yuzi said, pretending to be tough while smoking a pipe without any tobacco.

The scenes switch continuously, showing Yuan Yuzi clocking in for work on time every day and working overtime to investigate cases.

Finally, at the very end of the program, two frames were displayed on the screen, comparing Fushimi Shika and Minamoto Tamako side by side:
"I am Shika Fushimi, a detective who has no interest in money or power. My life is filled with work every day. To be honest, I feel restless if I don't investigate a case for a day."

"I am Gen Tamako, a wealthy second-generation heiress who enjoys soaking her feet in red wine. My daily life consists of being a parasite in the Metropolitan Police Department. To be honest, I feel like I'm living a life worse than death every day I work."

Laughter from next door pierced the night, almost curing Hira Sakurako's facial paralysis. Fushimi Shika even heard coughing and wheezing sounds.

……

The next morning, the names "Fushimi Shika" and "Minamoto no Tamako" both made headlines in Tokyo entertainment news.

—The Worst Boyfriend in History: The Metropolitan Police Department's Corrupt Official

——"My Perfect Girlfriend in My Dreams: A Silly and Beautiful Heiress"

(End of this chapter)