This is not how immortals cultivate

Chapter 526 You three, search this humble monk carefully along the way.
boom!
Sun Wukong killed the striped tiger blocking his way with a single blow, his monkey hair turned into a knife, he skinned the tiger, and then transformed his golden cudgel into a short and exquisite embroidery needle.

With some mending and patching, I've got the Sun Wukong outfit!

Monkey is always good at needlework.

As Xiang Yuan rode on his horse, he seemed to remember something and said, "Monkey, your name Wukong is too arrogant. This humble monk is not pleased with it. I will give you the more unconventional name 'Pilgrim' instead."

"I will listen to my master and from now on I will be called Sun Wukong."

Since his ascension to the Five Elements Mountain and subsequent failure to transcend the tribulation, Sun Wukong has never mentioned "Old Sun" in front of the Holy Monk, leaving only "I" to make him appear honest, simple, and particularly naive.

"Hmm, from now on I will call you Monkey Head."

"..."

Sun Wukong tightened his tiger-skin skirt. His holy monk and Monkey King's old monk were completely opposite, except for their ability to provoke the monkey.

The difference is that the old monk who is Monkey King annoys the monkey, and Monkey King can still bare his teeth, but his holy monk annoys the monkey...

Having lived there for five hundred years, Sun Wukong had a lot to say on the matter. He felt that the Five Finger Mountain was much tougher than his indestructible body.

No need, the monkey's life is more important.

So, even if the holy monk angers the monkey, or even if the holy monk beats the monkey, you should still laugh and chuckle.

Of course, Sun Wukong was just using an analogy; it was just a hypothetical situation where the holy monk wasn't actually being beaten by the monkey.

Fists and kicks are reckless and lack restraint. What if the monkey gets seriously injured? Who will take responsibility for holding him back? Even if you manage to travel the journey to the West in three days, if your heart is not sincere, the scriptures will be useless!

Even for the sake of all sentient beings in the Three Realms, the holy monk cannot beat the monkey!
Thinking of this, Sun Wukong's expression turned serious, and he prepared to have a serious talk with the holy monk, making him realize that violence would not only fail to solve the problem, but would also make the situation worse.

"Cough cough."

Sun Wukong coughed twice, clenching his fist: "Master, what do you do for a living?"

"Seeking knowledge from the Buddha."

"Uh, disciple asked Master what job he did in his past life, do you remember?" Sun Wukong blinked, reassessing the pretty boy's status in Heaven.

If the holy monks in this life are this powerful, how strong must the pretty boy in the Heavenly Court in the previous life have been?

If you were that strong, why did you hide behind the pillar?
If you're so powerful, why don't you seize the throne? That Jade Emperor, who only knows how to crawl under the table, is clearly utterly useless.

Sun Wukong was full of doubts and couldn't understand anything. If possible, he hoped that God would open his eyes and grant him an old monk just like the Monkey King.

At this point, because the Victorious Fighting Buddha had gone offline to contemplate his monkey life and had previously provided a lot of false information, Sun Wukong no longer trusted him. He stopped mentioning anything about how tall and strong the Monkey King was.

You liar! You said the Victorious Fighting Buddha wouldn't lie to the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, but you didn't utter a single truthful word!

"In my past life..."

Xiang Yuan raised his hand and touched his chin, then gestured around: "Sitting in an office, a junior manager, with only a small plot of land, my words carry weight."

It depends on your personal interpretation; this is the absolute truth, and you can say it however you like.

The two walked and talked. Xiang Yuan rode a horse and carried a tin staff on his shoulder, while Sun Wukong was responsible for carrying a load on a white horse.

Throughout the entire story, Sun Wukong addressed Xiang Yuan as "Master," while Xiang Yuan referred to himself as "this humble monk" and never mentioned the term "Master." He could only be considered a nominal disciple of the monkey, and that was about it.

After walking and stopping for about half a day, six bandits suddenly appeared from both sides of the mountain forest, declaring that they owned the mountain and planted the trees.

"Amitabha."

Xiang Yuan sat on the white horse, chanted a Buddhist prayer, and then remained silent.

This stumped Sun Wukong. In his eyes, these six low-ranking bandits were more troublesome than 100,000 heavenly soldiers.

The question is, to kill or not to kill?

Under normal circumstances, Sun Wukong would kill without burying the dead. Let alone weighing the pros and cons, he wouldn't even be the Great Sage Equal to Heaven if he frowned.

The situation is currently far from normal.

According to Monkey King's supposedly reliable intelligence, after he killed six bandits with one blow, the old monk was very unhappy. He would stand on moral high ground, pontificating and indulging in self-pity while simultaneously looking down on him with disdain.

As the side story unfolds, the monkey gets a headband, the old monk gets a headband spell, and in the end, they both manage to get into the government system.

Monkey King said that he could not escape the golden headband. No matter what, he would wear this restraint until he achieved merit and sat on the lotus throne, at which point the restraint would be removed.

Don't ask too many questions; this is the Dharma.

Therefore, Sun Wukong had long been mentally prepared to wear the golden headband.

But...

An old monk is an old monk, and a holy monk is a holy monk; they are two different concepts and should not be confused.

The old monk only babbles to the monkey, but the holy monk is different. He is extremely skilled in combat, able to crush a pancake with a single punch, and even the Five Finger Mountain is easily destroyed. His methods are far more ruthless than those of the Buddha.

For a moment, Sun Wukong was caught in a dilemma.

Strictly speaking, he preferred to wear the headband. With the headband, the holy monk could deal with him simply by opening his mouth, without lifting a finger. This would make things easier for the holy monk, and his life would be safer.

However, the prerequisite for wearing the headband was that he first killed six bandits, which displeased the holy monk, and they parted ways. Finally, the Bodhisattva stepped in and gave him the headband.

That's way too difficult!
Sun Wukong pondered for a moment. If the holy monk was unhappy, he would definitely take action. There would be no need for the Bodhisattva to step in and resolve the conflict peacefully. He would be finished at the point of parting ways.

Without killing those six bandits and without the protective band around his neck, he would die at the hands of the holy monk sooner or later.

He killed six bandits, but before he could even get the golden headband, he died at the hands of the holy monk.

What should I do? How do I solve this problem?
Is the pilgrimage to the West really that difficult?
Sun Wukong was sweating profusely with anxiety. Even when Erlang Shen was tethering a dog, he had never felt this much pressure. If possible, he would rather face 100,000 heavenly soldiers.

After a while, Sun Wukong put down the load, along with the white horse and the holy monk on it.

He was doomed either way, so he decided to take a gamble!
They bet the Bodhisattva was fast enough to stop the holy monk at the last moment and plead with him to spare the monkey's life.

Oh, Bodhisattva, whether I, Old Sun, live or die today depends on whether you are truly compassionate!

"Hey, take this from your grandpa Sun!"

The pressure was so great that the monkey almost couldn't breathe. He looked at the six bandits with a fierce glint in his eyes, swung his golden cudgel forward, and fought them for five hundred rounds before finally exhausting them to death.

There was nothing the monkey could do; it was afraid that Guanyin Bodhisattva was still on her way. Its life was more important, so it wanted to stall for as long as possible.

Seeing that all the bandits were dead and the Bodhisattva still hadn't arrived, Sun Wukong's calves cramped, beads of sweat dripped down his face, and he trembled like a leaf.

"My Buddha is compassionate!"

The monk's soft words were like a thunderclap in Sun Wukong's ears. He dropped his golden cudgel with a thud and knelt down on the ground with a thud.

"Master, I won't do it again!"

"Although they are just bandits and robbers who commit all sorts of atrocities, such as robbing, raping, kidnapping, murdering, and arson, they are still living human beings. Monkey, you have really gone too far!"

Xiang Yuan said solemnly, "This humble monk is kind-hearted and cannot bear to see such things. Next time there is killing, take it elsewhere and do not do it in front of this humble monk, otherwise it will ruin this humble monk's compassion, and I will take off your monkey head as a sacrifice."

"..." x2
Sun Wukong opened his mouth wide, wondering if he had misheard, and subconsciously picked at his ear with his golden cudgel.

The Victorious Fighting Buddha, who was eavesdropping, was also stunned. Seeing how understanding the holy monk was, and thinking of his own old monk who was always grumbling and only knew how to stand on moral high ground and point fingers afterward, he couldn't help but feel envious.

If only I could exchange it...

No need!

He, the Victorious Fighting Buddha, liked the old monk who hummed and hawed.

"Release the tiger back into the mountain, and the consequences will be endless. If you let them go today, more innocent people will suffer in the future. This kind of self-admiring false compassion is better off gone."

Xiang Yuan continued, "Remember this: on your journey west, if any bandits or robbers block your way, kill them on sight. Be clean and don't damage the flowers and plants or drag innocent people into it."

"I understand, my disciple."

Sun Wukong lowered his head tremblingly, but couldn't find the Golden Cudgel anywhere. After searching for a while, he finally discovered that the Golden Cudgel had turned into an ear pick, which was still in his hand.

Still completely bewildered.

The monkey liked the monk's quick-witted and decisive nature, but he was also very capable, which made the monkey nervous.

Right now, he only has one question: without the golden headband, who can protect him?
Where is the Bodhisattva? Come out here!
Baiyue Jushi had arrived long ago, and according to the script, she came to deliver the golden headband. She had transformed into an old woman and was just waiting to appear when Tang Sanzang was alone.

As the project manager for this trip, she made numerous appearances, and even performed a divine intervention when necessary.

But some people don't play by the rules; they omit what should be in the script and add whatever they think of.

I must say, that's definitely Xiang Yuan's style.

Baiyue Jushi glanced at the pretty boy riding the white horse, then at the monkey beneath it, and felt that the tight band in his hand was somewhat superfluous. He figured it wouldn't matter whether he gave it to Xiang Yuan or not, and since Xiang Yuan was so happy, he wouldn't disturb his fun.

"Who is this pretty boy hiding in the shadows, spying on this humble monk? What are his intentions?"

The white horse suddenly rose into the air, its immense power piercing through the ground. The white horse was completely unharmed, but Sun Wukong was trampled into the earth, with only half of his head sticking out.

From a distance, it looked like someone had dropped a kiwi in their pocket.

boom!
Xiang Yuan landed with his feet planted firmly on the ground, causing the surrounding trees to sway. He pulled his legs out, took a quick step forward, and grabbed the 'old woman's' wrist: "What kind of demon are you? Don't think that just because I'm a mortal, I can't recognize your magic, you can fool me. I can tell at a glance that you're not human."

As she spoke, she pulled Baiyue Jushi into her arms.

When it comes to subduing demons and monsters, it's perfectly normal to use physical force!

Baiyue Jushi: (乛乛)
Let go right now, try pulling on another one!
Just give it a try!
The two pulled and shoved each other, getting closer and closer.

Baiyue Jushi was still angry and naturally unwilling. Moreover, several of her own people were watching, and she was too shy to show any intimacy with Xiang Yuan.

Now you know how to act tough? Where were you before?
They didn't even try to stop me last time. Go ahead and ignore me if you dare!

Sun Wukong crawled out of the ground, shook his drowsy head, raised his hand to touch his body, and confirmed that all the parts were intact, with both tails still there. Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief.

He almost thought he was dead!
"Master, next time there are any demons or monsters, just let me handle them."

Sun Wukong patted his heart. The holy monk Leiyin preached, startling him. After a few more times, before he even reached the Western Paradise, he had already arrived there.

Parting the bushes, they saw that the holy monk seemed to have captured some kind of demon.

Xiang Yuan braced himself against the tree, trapping Bai Yue Jushi in his arms, unable to escape. He was tall and strong, much taller than Sun Wukong. The monkey only saw the majestic back of the holy monk as he subdued the demon, but he couldn't see what the demon looked like. It seemed to be wearing a white dress and had a halo around its back.

What a demon! You're hilarious! You've even got the Golden Wheel of Merit up your sleeve!

Wait a minute……

The Golden Wheel of Merit?

"Hiss hiss hiss—"

No, Master! That's Guanyin Bodhisattva, not some demon! Release her immediately!

Sun Wukong was terrified. He thought a lot about the part where Guanyin Bodhisattva came to deliver the headband, and various images came to mind, including but not limited to the Bodhisattva treating him with respect and calling him a holy monk.

The only thing he never expected was that the Bodhisattva would be held in the arms of the holy monk.

Who the hell could have imagined this? Not even a monkey could!

And even the holy monk and the Bodhisattva have revealed their true forms, why won't you let go? You've made the Bodhisattva's face turn red with anger. Wait a minute…

Is it really red from anger?

Sun Wukong glanced at it furtively; rather than being angry, he was more embarrassed and annoyed.

()
Good heavens, is this something a little monkey can watch?
The monkey couldn't understand, didn't comprehend, and dared not be too shocked, so it silently retreated the way it came and buried itself back inside.

I wish I hadn't left Wuzhishan. Actually, it's quite nice to live there. It's warm in winter and cool in summer, and it's a detached house. It's very comfortable.

"Monkey King, come out here for me!"

"If you don't come out, just pretend I'm dead."

"What kind of lousy tricks are you suggesting? Look me, Old Sun, in the eyes. Stop playing dead. Do you dare to open your eyes and see this world?"

"I wouldn't dare, I'm not worthy."

Sun Wukong was shocked, while the Victorious Fighting Buddha was almost driven mad. He had been to heaven and earth and had never been afraid of anyone in the Nine Heavens. He had seen all kinds of situations and, relying on the fact that he had traveled an extra 108,000 miles, considered himself a veteran and put on a show of power in front of the new monkey.

He only realized now that the world has changed, his experience is no longer applicable, and he was the newbie.

"Senior sister, don't go! I haven't finished talking yet. Try it, this time it really doesn't taste like a lie!"

"Then don't go too far. I'll come find you in the Purple Bamboo Grove later."

The holy monk spoke in a language the monkey couldn't understand, which frightened Sun Wukong so much that he shrank further into the ground, cursing inwardly, "Damn that stinking monkey, he's really done me a disservice!"

"Hey, whose kiwi fell on the ground?"

Xiang Yuan raised his hand, pressed down on the monkey's head, pulled it out of the ground, and took out the headband to put it on its head.

One or two people say he lacks the self-discipline of an actor, which is clearly slander. The monkey clearly didn't lack a single piece of equipment, and clearly didn't miss a single step of the process.

The tight band was firmly planted in his flesh, just like the one Sun Wukong was born with. Touching the new equipment on his head, he was overjoyed and shed tears of excitement.

This is not a symbol of lost freedom, but clearly his life-saving charm. Whether he can make it to Mount Ling alive depends entirely on this piece of equipment.

It smells so good! x2
Bodhisattva, you've suffered so much to save my life!

While marveling at Guanyin Bodhisattva's great compassion, Sun Wukong also despised the holy monk for his utterly immoral behavior. He grabbed the Bodhisattva's hand and wouldn't let go, while shouting that the demons were using their transformations to fool ordinary people.

You're just an ordinary mortal, how shameless!

The monkey, which was almost brand new, was like it had never been used before. It didn't understand what the headband was and insisted that the holy monk demonstrate it before he would feel at ease.

"Master, what is this treasure? Is it a gift you gave to your disciple? It's so beautiful, I love it."

"Absolutely! Guanyin said that even people with sensitive skin can use it, let alone a rough monkey like you with lots of body hair."

Xiang Yuan gazed at the direction where the white light had disappeared, pursed his lips, still savoring the memory: "Sister Guanyin also said that this treasure is called the Tightening Spell. As long as you disobey, I can chant the spell to make you wish you were dead. Three times a day, ten times each time, for thirty days as one course of treatment. After three courses of treatment, you won't dare to bare your teeth anymore."

"The power of Buddhism is boundless!" Sun Wukong exclaimed in praise.

"However, I was so busy touching Guanyin's little hand that I didn't hear the incantation clearly, what should I do..."

Xiang Yuan stopped halfway through his sentence, and Sun Wukong somersaulted into the sky and disappeared in a flash, chasing after Bai Yue Jushi to ask for the incantation for the headband.

"This monkey is interesting. Buddha really didn't castrate it properly."

Xiang Yuan nodded secretly, his body trembled, leaving behind a clone, while his main body arrived at the Purple Bamboo Forest in the South China Sea.

"Senior sister, look, your junior brother just got a new hairstyle, specially for you. Do you like it?"

"Oh, Mu Qing, you're here too?"

"Your martial uncle just got a new hairstyle, specially for you and your disciple. Do you like it?"

Start repairing the car.

The situation with Layman Baiyue is a bit complicated. From the nun to the layman, and then to Guanyin Bodhisattva, everyone thought that the young hero was not interested in women.

Suddenly, so many sisters have appeared, and they're all family members. I don't know whether to be angry or not.

Go ahead and annoy him, he's doing the work for the family, and he's even quite devoted to his partner!
Don't be angry with him. He's such a womanizer with so many of his own people around.

Putting aside the question of whether he was a womanizer or a faithful man, he didn't tell her the truth and kept her in the dark. Matters of principle cannot be easily brushed aside with a few words.

Also, the Guanyin Bodhisattva who merged with her some time ago, who belongs only to herself, knows that the pretty boy is not honest outside, but she spoils him and says nothing, and even praises him for not getting close to women.

Guanyin Bodhisattva: Is it possible that this humble monk is trying to expose you by saying "I'm hiding something here"?

Baiyue Jushi: Still trying to argue here? You're just siding with him. You like him so much, he'll use you as a scapegoat one of these days!

Ji Muqing's situation is not that complicated. She is not a material for the fusion of the Six Paths Goddess, but since her master and sister are so angry, and the environment of being surrounded by powerful enemies is extremely harsh, she should follow her sister and be angry together.

……

Xiang Yuan spent a long time repairing cars in the Purple Bamboo Forest. Several times, while he was repairing, he felt that someone else had suddenly taken over the car, as if Baiyue Jushi had found someone to take over the repairs.

If it weren't for Ji Muqing, the mortise and tenon structure would be fixed in place, making it difficult to easily replace him.

Who exactly was playing for someone else, who was she, and who was she? Such philosophical questions were beyond Xiang Yuan's comprehension. At the time, he was actively admitting his mistake and dared not speak or ask. His eyes were wide open as he comforted himself that it was an illusion.

Because of too many hallucinations, it lingered in the purple bamboo forest and refused to leave until it was hit by a pink skull.

Ultra-long standby mode activated!
Xiang Yuan: (ω`)
"Master, there's a village up ahead. Let's stay there for the night..."

Sun Wukong, riding on a tree like a monkey, looked into the distance. When he looked back, he saw that the holy monk, who had been full of energy just moments before, was now only a head. Startled, he lost his footing and fell to the ground with a thud.

"Master, are you alright?"

Sun Wukong was startled, not understanding why the holy monk, who was perfectly fine, suddenly became so weak.

"Master, please be careful not to fall." x2
Pigsy and Sandy stepped forward together, supporting the holy monk on the white dragon horse from the left and right, so that he would not fall and damage the flowers and plants.

Everyone knew that the holy monk was kind-hearted and dared not easily trample on a single blade of grass or tree, so he usually rode on a white horse.

"Get out of here, you're so clumsy."

Sun Wukong grinned and stepped forward, chasing away his two sycophantic junior brothers. He flattered them, saying, "Master, be careful. If you fall on me, I'll step on you so you won't step on the grass."

"Hmm, monkey is very thoughtful."

"It is only right, it is all from the bottom of my heart that I respect you, Master."

As Sun Wukong spoke, he glanced coldly at his two junior brothers who were adding fuel to the fire with their farts. "How dare you pat the Holy Monk's farts? You should pat the White Dragon Horse's butt instead."

Yes.

Xiang Yuan lingered in the Purple Bamboo Forest in the South China Sea for quite some time. When he returned, he had already crossed the Flowing Sand River and taken in Sha Wujing.

Naturally, Pigsy joined the group early on.

The saying "A day apart feels like three autumns" definitely captures this meaning.

According to the original words of the Victorious Fighting Buddha, these two are useless in one-on-one combat, and in group battles they will only make a fumes. Apart from making some noise, they are practically useless.

Since it wasn't important, Buddha didn't care either, and the Heavenly Court simply arranged actors.

Heavenly Court: The organization has decided to transfer you to work at Mount Ling.

At this point, the pilgrimage team was complete.

There's not much to say about the skipped plot. Even if Xiang Yuan's true body leaves and only a clone remains, he can still easily control the monkey head mushroom. With a backhand slap, any monster that comes will have to kneel down.

If I had to say something, it would be roughly as follows:

"This wicked dragon dared to eat my horse today, it will dare to eat me tomorrow! Monkey, take the barbecue grill out of the luggage!"

[That bald thief at Guanyin Temple dares to covet my robe, and even flaunts his tattered robe in front of me, with his few dishes and empty cups. Monkey, go set fire to his temple, turn up the fan, and burn it down. Let's see how he can still act so arrogant then.]

[This pig-head dares to pretend to be a gigolo and a sports student; he's just bringing shame to the gigolo industry. Monkey, get the barbecue grill out of your luggage.]

[Where did this dead rat come from? So arrogant! Do you think you're the only one who can talk nonsense?]

"What nonsense! A goose feather can't float, and the three thousand rivers are too deep! How arrogant! Dare to let this humble monk sink and see what happens? I'll fill the river with your own water!"

In conclusion, the holy monk persuaded people with reason, and his wisdom and courage were very effective. Whether it was Sun Wukong, or the newly arrived Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing, and the White Dragon, they all admired him.

To be the holy monk's dog is the greatest honor! x4
loyalty!

"This humble monk's current wretched state is all thanks to you, you monkey..."

Xiang Yuan sighed, rubbed his aching back, and counted on his fingers one by one: "Regarding the headband, this humble monk went to the South China Sea to thank Guanyin in person; when I passed by Eagle's Sorrow Gorge, Guanyin helped me again, so I couldn't leave without thanking her; and a while ago at Guanyin Temple, you burned Guanyin's little money pouch..."

"This humble monk apologized and thanked you repeatedly, making several trips back and forth to Luojia Mountain in the South China Sea. This has exhausted me."

"You good-for-nothing! You said you were invincible in the Heavenly Palace and that the Jade Emperor hid under the table, but this is all you've got. You're all talk and no action. You have no talent whatsoever except for your rhyming."

"I thought you would only slow me down my journey to the West in three days, but I didn't expect you would also create a debt of gratitude for me!"

"..."

Sun Wukong felt a buzzing in his ears, as if there were many flies, but he dared not interrupt and seriously suspected that the holy monk's way of repaying his debt was not very proper.

Considering that one is a holy monk and the other is a bodhisattva, we will not delve into the truth here. It would be of no benefit to a weak monkey to know too much.

"What are you three standing there for? Hurry up and clear the way ahead, and search the road thoroughly for this monk!"

Xiang Yuan spurred his horse forward: "Especially you monkey, if you dare to cause trouble and annoy this poor monk again, I'll send you to see the Buddha with one slap."

“No, Master. Even monkeys must die eventually. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid that after I die, no one will be able to serve you by your side.”

Upon hearing this, Sun Wukong tucked his tail between his legs and hurriedly advised the holy monk not to be angered. He gritted his teeth, stomped his foot, and recited the Tightening-Headband Mantra ten times, writhing in agony on the ground.

Indeed, he did manage to obtain the incantation for the headband from the White Moon Hermit.

One dares to ask, and the other dares to speak; it's not scary.

What's frightening is that the monkey's survival instinct is astonishing; he even dared to recite.

Seeing the monkey behave so well, Xiang Yuan, in the spirit of compassion of a monk, generously forgave him and lashed the monkey's rump with his whip: "How many times have I told you, this humble monk is kind-hearted and cannot bear to see suffering. Roll over to the side, you're blocking this humble monk's horse."

Xiang Yuan stared intently ahead, realizing that the reason he hadn't appeared during the previous trials was that he had arrived early this time.

On one hand, Baiyue Jushi was annoyed by his obsession with Buddhism and was hit with a red-powdered skull. On the other hand, this ordeal was called the Four Saints Testing the Mind of Zen.

The Four Saints are testing my Zen mind! Come and try, for the holy monks have no shortage of Zen mind and physical strength.

Zen is Zen, but the buttocks are one's own buttocks.

Layman Baiyue can testify that the Holy Monk admired Buddhism to the point of being unable to extricate himself. Guanyin Bodhisattva tried to leave several times, but the Holy Monk grabbed her little hand and wouldn't let her go.

Therefore, in this test of the Zen mind by the Four Sages, Xiang Yuan was full of confidence. If you don't believe him, you can try to seduce him.

I guarantee I'll hook them one by one without making a sound!

(End of this chapter)