Damn it, I'm in the garbage book I wrote

Chapter 926 Those who aren't wearing underwear, stay!
In a side hall of the East Palace, Tuoba Shang lay sprawled on a couch, a blade of grass dangling from his mouth, looking utterly disheveled. His father, Tuoba Jing, was bent over, scrubbing at a pile of withered branches and leaves on the ground, the small wooden stick in his hand almost sparking.

"Father, your skill in starting a fire by rubbing wood is not as good as mine when I was eight years old." Tuoba Shang curled his lips with a disdainful look.

"Bullshit!" Tuoba Jing didn't even look up, his forehead already covered in sweat: "Back when I was fighting the Turks, I could even light wet firewood in the freezing cold!"

"He's bragging again."

Li Zhi sat to the side, but his thoughts had already flown to his parents. Just now, his father had dragged him out of Ganlu Palace by the ear and scolded him, but his expression was much more relaxed than when he went in. It seemed that things had calmed down with his mother for the time being.

As he was pondering this, Tuoba Jing suddenly threw down the wooden stick, exclaiming in frustration, "No way! The wood in Chang'an is just like the damn people of Chang'an—hard and brittle!"

He clapped his hands, leaned closer to Li Zhi, and winked, "Zhi'er, stop thinking about your parents' little lawsuit, it's boring. Why don't you come for a walk with your uncle?"

Before Li Zhi could answer, Tuoba Shang sat up with a jolt: "Father, what mischief are you plotting now?"

"Go away, kids shouldn't interrupt adults." Tuoba Jing waved his hand dismissively, then put his arm around Li Zhi's shoulder, lowered his voice, and said mysteriously, "Uncle will take you to a fun place, I guarantee you'll see things you've never seen before."

Li Zhi's inner alarm bells rang slightly, but looking at Tuoba Jing's gleaming eyes, he exclaimed in astonishment, "Uncle, you're not joking, are you? You really going to a brothel?"

"Hehe," Tuoba Jing grinned, revealing a set of white teeth: "Pingkangfang, Wanhualou!"

Li Zhi's hand trembled, and he almost dropped the teacup. His face instantly turned bright red with embarrassment, and he waved his hands repeatedly, saying, "No, no! If Father and Mother find out, they'll break my legs!"

"Tsk, what's there to be afraid of?" Tuoba Jing didn't care at all. "When your father was your age, he took away all the courtesans in Jinling City, not just Pingkangfang. He didn't leave any for me."

“But if my mother finds out…” Li Zhi’s voice trembled, “then it would be all over.”

"Just tell them I'll take you to the casting call!" Tuoba Jing slapped his thigh, his eyes gleaming. "My new play, 'Journey to the West,' has so many fairies, demons, and bodhisattvas. Shouldn't we find some beautiful women to play them? Wanhua Tower is the most well-informed place in Chang'an. It has all sorts of beauties from all walks of life. Who knows, we might even run into a few with an ethereal aura! Maybe we can even find the Twelve Beauties of Jinling from 'Dream of the Red Chamber.'"

Tuoba Shang, who was listening from the side, rolled his eyes: "Father, you've really gone too far. Going to a brothel to find a Bodhisattva, aren't you afraid that Buddha will strike you with lightning? If you ask me, you should just take my brother there and have some fun. Just sit down there, call a row of girls, and tell the girls, 'Those who aren't wearing underwear, stay.' That's all."

"Hey! You little bastard, you're pretty skilled at this."

After kicking his son, Tuoba Jing turned to Li Zhi and coaxed, "Just go take a look and see what's going on. Don't worry, with your uncle here, who dares to do anything to you?"

These last words were like a feather gently tickling Li Zhi's heart. He always harbored a secret longing for Jinling, the city where his father had supposedly spent his youth, and for the days his father described as "young men in fine clothes and riding spirited horses." He hesitated, but his fingertips kept picking at the dragon pattern on his robe.

Seeing that he was wavering, Tuoba Jing grabbed him without saying a word and started to walk out: "Come on, come on, don't dawdle like that, it's not like you're a man!"

"Uncle... we really can't let Father and Mother know..."

"I know, I know! Stop nagging! Ugh, you little brat, you really don't have any of your father's character."

The three changed into the brocade robes of ordinary wealthy young men and slipped out of the palace gates under the cover of night. Tuoba Jing knew the way well, and after several twists and turns, he avoided the patrolling Imperial Guards and entered Pingkang Ward.

Upon entering the gate, the atmosphere changed abruptly. The scents of perfume, wine, music, and the chirping of birds mingled together and assaulted the senses. The lights were dazzling, and the pavilions and towers, while lacking the solemnity of the imperial palace, possessed an abundance of vibrant life. The streets were teeming with people of all kinds, a bizarre and wonderful sight.

Li Zhi had seen such scenes before, but he had never personally been to such a lowly place. He felt overwhelmed by the sights, his heart pounding with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Tuoba Shang, on the other hand, was quite at ease, looking around and commenting: "The girls in Chang'an seem a bit more shrewish than those in Jinling. However, they lack a bit of gentleness. They each have their own merits."

He smacked his lips after saying that.

With a clear goal in mind, Tuoba Jing headed straight for the largest brothel, Wan Hua Lou. As soon as he arrived at the entrance, several fragrant women greeted him with sweet smiles.

"Oh, you young masters look unfamiliar. Please come in!"

"Find us a quiet, private room." Tuoba Jing casually tossed a silver ingot over his shoulder with practiced ease. "Call over all the most beautiful girls here. I'll take a good look at them. Consider this silver a reward."

The madam took the silver, weighed it in her hand, and beamed with joy: "Alright! I guarantee you gentlemen will be satisfied! Three VIPs in the 'Listening Snow Pavilion' upstairs!"

The private room was exquisitely decorated, with fragrant incense wafting around it, and an ice chest placed nearby, making it cool to the touch upon entering. Soon, a dozen or so women filed in, each with their own unique charm, some carrying a pipa, others holding a round fan, their eyes sparkling with allure.

Li Zhi sat there, unsure of what to do with his hands and feet, his cheeks burning, and could only stare down at the tips of his boots.

Tuoba Jing, however, sat down as if he were at home, his gaze sweeping over the women's faces and bodies as if inspecting an army.

"Those who aren't wearing underwear, stay."

Tuoba Shang spoke first, but his father kicked him to the ground: "Get the hell out of here! If his parents find out that we really brought him here to do that kind of thing, I don't know if I'll be in trouble, but you'd better prepare to carry a heavy load for thirty miles in the wild."

"You, look up." Then Emperor Jingtai pointed to a woman dressed in a simple blue robe, with a somewhat aloof air about her: "Can you sing?"

The woman nodded slightly, her voice clear and melodious like a spring striking a stone: "I know a little."

"Sing it for us."

The woman gently plucked the pipa and began to sing "Midnight Song of Wu." Her voice was clear and bright, quite remarkable.

Tuoba Jing frowned and interrupted, "Stop! No, no, the flavor is wrong, too elegant, not alluring enough." He then pointed to another woman in red, with a voluptuous figure: "And you? Can you dance?"

The woman in red smiled sweetly, her eyes filled with allure: "I am skilled in the Hu Xuan dance."

"Give me one!"

As the music began, the woman in red responded and danced. Her body was supple, and she twirled like the wind, her skirt fluttering, exuding charm.

Tuoba Jing stroked his chin, looked at them for a while, and then shook his head: "They're seductive enough, but they lack an ethereal quality. They're more like demons than fairies." He asked several more girls, but they either complained that their eyes weren't "ethereal" enough, their figures weren't "graceful" enough, or their demeanor was too "worldly." None of them suited his taste. The girls' smiles began to fade, and the madam beside them was wringing her hands anxiously.

Li Zhi gradually recovered from his initial embarrassment. Looking at Tuoba Jing's picky expression, he couldn't help but whisper to Tuoba Shang, "Uncle, this isn't casting a role, it's casting the Queen Mother of the West!"

Tuoba Shang scoffed, "That's just how he is, so annoying."

Just as Tuoba Jing was about to lose his patience, the door to the private room was gently pushed open, and a young maid carrying a fruit platter walked in with her head down. She was about fourteen or fifteen years old, wearing a slightly worn light green dress. She was slender, and with her head down, her face was not visible, only a section of her fair neck was exposed.

She quietly placed the fruit plate on the table and turned to leave.

"Wait a minute," Tuoba Jing suddenly said.

The young maid paused, hesitated, and turned around, still keeping her head down.

"look up."

The young maid slowly raised her head. In that instant, the entire private room seemed to light up. It was an exceptionally clean face, unadorned, with eyebrows and eyes like distant mountains shrouded in mist, clear pupils holding a hint of timidity and a touch of innocent naiveté, and skin so white it was almost translucent. She stood there, completely out of place amidst the lush and alluring beauty of the room, like a solitary orchid that had strayed into the dust of the world.

Tuoba Jing's eyes suddenly lit up, like a hungry wolf seeing a piece of fat meat, and he slammed his hand on the table: "It's her!"

The madam was taken aback and quickly stepped forward: "Oh dear, sir, you've made a mistake. This is a lowly maid who does odd jobs in the brothel, named Qingnu. She doesn't know any manners and doesn't know how to serve people..."

"I want her!" Tuoba Jing pointed at Qing Nu, his voice trembling with excitement: "That aura! That gaze! She's the one!"

Li Zhi and Tuoba Shang were both stunned, looking at the frightened and helpless Qingnu.

"Sir, this really won't do..." the madam said with difficulty.

"How much? Name your price!" Tuoba Jing waved his hand arrogantly, "I'll redeem her!"

Finally, a thick stack of silver notes was slapped on the table, silencing the madam. Tuoba Jing, satisfied, led the still bewildered Qingnu, along with his speechless son and nephew, out of the Wan Hua Lou.

On the way, Tuoba Shang put his arm around Li Zhi's shoulder and whispered, "It's okay, it doesn't matter if you're not satisfied tonight. I'll invite you over in a couple of days and I guarantee you'll experience the pleasure of being naked without underwear."

"Second brother... no need, no need, I really want to take the beating. I'm weak, I can't take it."

Back at their temporary lodgings in Xianyang, Tuoba Jing immediately circled around Qingnu, muttering to himself, "Good, excellent! Her figure is also suitable, just a bit too thin, she needs to rest. Her eyes are pure enough, and she's a little shy, which perfectly matches the role..."

Qingnu hunched his shoulders, like a frightened fawn, not daring to breathe.

Looking at her like that, Li Zhi felt a pang of pity and couldn't help but say, "Uncle, please don't frighten her."

"What are you scared of? I'm taking her out of this misery and into the halls of art!" Tuoba Jing said dismissively, then turned to Qingnu and said, "Girl, don't be afraid. From now on, you'll be living the high life with me, and you can even become a star! It'll be a million times better than being in that place!"

Qingnu timidly raised her eyes, glanced at Tuoba Jing, then at the gentle-faced Li Zhi, and gave a soft "hmm" in the background.

At this moment, there was a knock on the courtyard gate, and an official who was temporarily acting as Tuoba Jing's attendant reported from outside the gate: "Your Majesty, several wealthy merchants from Persia and India have come to see you. They say that the grand event is about to end, and they have prepared generous gifts to invite you, Marshal Xia, and His Majesty the Tang Emperor to attend the closing banquet tomorrow. Their words are quite earnest, and they seem reluctant to part with you."

Upon hearing this, Tuoba Jing's attention was immediately drawn. He winked at Li Zhi, "Reluctant? Of course! These guys have made a fortune this past month, they're practically oozing oil from their bones, they wish this grand event would never end! Just that new cotton fabric your family produced alone has them fighting tooth and nail for it. Hey, if I could show my movie at the closing ceremony, tsk tsk..."

Li Zhi hurriedly interrupted him, still shaken: "Uncle! You absolutely mustn't let it go again, Mother has only just caught her breath!"

"I know, I know, just kidding, just venting." Tuoba Jing touched his nose sheepishly, then perked up again: "But I have to go to the closing banquet! I absolutely have to go! Perfect, let my newly discovered little Chang'e make her appearance and get used to the scene beforehand! Let her see what it means to have all nations pay tribute, it will help her understand her role!"

He became more and more excited as he spoke, gesturing wildly as he began to plan his grand project, "Journey to the West," as if he could already see the world being awestruck by his audiovisual masterpiece. Qingnu listened from the side, completely bewildered, only timidly watching this middle-aged man who was mixing up Lao Tzu and the emperor.

Li Zhi looked at his uncle, who was completely absorbed in his own world, and then at Qingnu, who was as quiet as a shadow beside him. Thinking about the closing banquet tomorrow, where all the various forces would gather, he felt overwhelmed. This trip, which he had been half-coaxed and half-tricked into "seeing the world," had certainly broadened his horizons, but the aftermath seemed to be even more troublesome than the complicated political affairs of the Eastern Palace.

Chang'an City has been in constant turmoil thanks to his father and uncle's actions. He only hopes that after the tumultuous events of the past few days, his parents won't cause any new troubles at this crucial juncture when things seem to be coming to a satisfactory conclusion.

He subconsciously touched the editorial assignment in his pocket, which he needed to copy a hundred times; it still seemed to be warm to the touch…

The next morning, it was a day off, and Xiao Li Zhi originally planned to sleep in. After all, he couldn't resist going to see his senior sister again last night. The young man's taste of pleasure had been awakened by the flashing red lights, and he naturally couldn't stop himself.

But who would have thought that while he was sound asleep, the noise outside started to disturb him. He went out in his pajamas, still half asleep, and saw that Uncle Tuoba was beating his second brother. Behind his second brother stood several women wearing thin gauze but obviously not wearing underwear.

Tuoba Shangna's physique, which could make the noble sons of Chang'an cry for their parents, was utterly insignificant in front of Tuoba Jing, and he was beaten so badly that he howled.

"What's wrong with me bringing a few girls for my brother to play with? His dad isn't worried, so why are you?"

“His father isn’t in a hurry,” a voice rang out behind them. “His mother, however, is quite anxious.”

Everyone turned around and were shocked to find Xia Lin and San Niang walking in hand in hand. San Niang's expression was still not good, presumably because Xia Lin had accompanied her to clear her head, but who knew they would hear such a thing here...

"Hey!" Tuoba Jing pointed at Tuoba Shang, who was squatting there with his head in his hands after being beaten, and said, "I'm already beating him up, you guys wait a bit."

Xia Lin turned to the Third Sister and said, "Do you still remember that there were four young masters in the world back then, and above the four young masters was a scholar named Yu Shusheng?"

"I don't know why the gentle and refined Prince Qin has turned into this." After saying this, Third Sister glanced at the courtesans who were completely in a daze, shook her head and sighed silently, "Give them some silver and send them away. They are all pitiful children."

(End of this chapter)