Damn it, I'm in the garbage book I wrote

Chapter 809 Isn't this fucking ridiculous?

Xia Lin is now like a father duck, with a row of ducklings following behind him, carrying fishing nets and rods, and carrying salted fish and dried fruit as they stroll down the street.

"Lord Xia, something terrible has happened."

Upon seeing him, the tea vendor by the roadside immediately called out, "Come and have a cup of tea and rest for a bit."

Xia Lin looked around and silently turned his pockets inside out. His pockets were even emptier than his face, indicating that he didn't have a single penny.

"Oh dear, sir, can I still take your money?" The tea server stepped forward, grabbed Xia Lin's arm, and pulled him into his tea shop. As he began to boil water for him again, he said, "Something terrible happened while you were away."

"What major incident could possibly happen?"

"You don't know yet? You've been made a king."

Xia Lin paused, his expression freezing: "What the hell?"

"A royal title! Both Wei and Tang have bestowed upon you the title of king." The tea merchant was well-informed, and such a momentous event as Xia Lin's royal title could not possibly escape his notice. Naturally, he knew all about it clearly.

"This is not something to be taken lightly."

Seeing that Xia Lin was still somewhat skeptical, the tea server quickly said, "Sir, I wouldn't dare lie to you. They say that His Majesty has bestowed upon you the title of Prince of Qin, with your fief in Chang'an. The Li Tang dynasty has also bestowed upon you the title of Prince of Wei, with your fief in Jinling. The congratulatory entourages from both sides are already crowding your doorstep."

Having said that, the eldest prince of the Li Tang dynasty silently lowered his head and counted the number of pebbles under his feet, truly ashamed to raise his head.

Xia Lin frowned at this moment, but Xia Lin was still Xia Lin after all. As soon as he heard the titles given to him by the two sides, he already knew who had caused the trouble first.

Titles cannot be given arbitrarily. The Li Tang dynasty bestowed upon him the fullest extent of the title, using the dynasty's name as the basis for the conferment—a typical example of retaliatory bestowal. The Tian Wei dynasty, however, granted him the title of Prince of Qin, not Prince of Tang. This was because the title of Prince of Tang was bestowed by the late emperor, and Prince Li Yuan was still alive. If Xia Lin were granted the title of Prince of Tang, it would signify that Tian Wei no longer recognized Li Yuan as their subject. Since he was no longer their subject, the Li Tang dynasty could not be considered a separatist regime.

After Tian Wei bestowed the title of King of Qin upon Xia Lin, Li Tang retaliated by bestowing the title of King of Wei. The title of King of Wei was not taboo, because Li Tang claimed to have territorial disputes with Wei, and there was no King of Wei bestowed by Li Tang within Tian Wei territory.

It's quite obvious that Tuoba Jing was being reckless, trying to humiliate the Li Tang dynasty and teach them a lesson, which led to this outrageous incident.

"Nonsense!"

Xia Lin slammed his hand on the table: "One or two of you are just bored and have nothing better to do."

After saying that, he stood up and said, "No need to prepare tea, I'll go back now."

"My lord, please don't be impatient. The water is almost boiled, my lord..."

The tea master's calls didn't stop Xia Lin; he stormed off with the little ones and ran all the way home.

When he returned, he found his doorway piled high with congratulatory gifts, each labeled with a red paper banner indicating the gift came from a certain family. It was quite a lively scene.

"That's utter nonsense," Xia Lin muttered, then pushed aside the crowd waiting at the door to congratulate him: "Everyone, disperse!"

Those who were chosen to deliver gifts to Xia Lin were all carefully selected. They were extremely clear-headed and immediately dispersed after seeing Xia Lin's expression. However, the gifts they left behind piled up all the way to the alley entrance.

"Bastard thing!"

Xia Lin pushed open the door with a livid face. As soon as he entered the house, he saw Tang Bao'er sitting in the rocking chair in the yard reading a book. He took a deep breath to suppress his temper and put on a smiling face: "Is it too noisy outside?"

"It's alright, they're all pretty well-behaved. Even when they fight, they do it at the alley entrance."

"Still want to fight?"

After Tang Bao'er mentioned it, all the families from Fuliang have come to celebrate Xia Lin's coronation as king in the past few days. In just these few days, they have fought no less than twenty rounds to compete for the order in which the gifts are placed, almost turning it into a large-scale elimination tournament. The small park at the entrance of the alley has become their arena.

In order to get the gift placed at the main entrance, these guys even hired many martial arts masters at high salaries to compete for it. The small park was filled with all sorts of weapons, from swords and spears to halberds, axes, hooks, forks, halberds, sickles, clubs, whips, maces, hammers, claws, and meteors, with the competition starting every evening. Some locals even started selling scalped tickets for good seats.

After hearing all this, Xia Lin didn't find it funny; he just found it absurd. Power is such a corrupting force. Only someone like Xia Lin, who had seen the world, could resist such temptation. But if it were someone else, who could resist such flattery?

Were those people really celebrating Xia Lin's coronation as king? Or were they truly celebrating Xia Lin? Actually, no. What they were currying favor with was the possibility of further advancement in power. The old aristocracy was gradually declining, and their niche would eventually need to be filled. Now, these people were all vying to be the carp that leaped over the dragon gate, nothing more.

Xia Lin walked silently to the pile of gifts outside and casually opened a food box. As expected, it contained sixteen exquisite dishes, but these were not dishes at all. The rice was made of silver particles, the carp was cast from gold ingots, the roast chicken was carved from agate, the cabbage was carved from jade, and even the poached egg was inlaid with gold and jade.

A single food box is already priceless; who could afford that?

There was also a vase next to it, seemingly ordinary, but it was made using the precious cloisonné enamel technique, inlaid with 1,001 Persian cat's-eye stones, making it shine brightly from any angle. The celebration of being crowned a prince was conducted with the emperor's ceremonial retinue, and the items here... everything in the palace, he had; even things the palace didn't have, he had.

"Sugar Baby".

"Ok?"

Xia Lin turned and walked into the courtyard, saying to Tang Bao'er, "Have someone come and appraise everything tomorrow. Convert all the items into gold and silver, and put the money into the county's construction and rewards for outstanding research and production personnel. I'll allow you to earn 10% of it. But you have to cash it out quickly for me."

Tang Bao'er laughed heartily, "Husband, you're getting ahead of yourself."

"What do you mean?"

Just as Xia Lin was racking his brains, he suddenly heard the clattering of hooves outside. It wasn't just one horse, but a whole caravan. Then he heard the hooves stop at the alley entrance.

Then a loud voice called out from afar, "Brother! Brother!!"

Xia Lin craned his neck to look and was shocked to see Wang Shichong, with a full head of white hair, walking in. He was now wealthy and pot-bellied, and had lost his former sharp aura, leaving only his bloated figure.

"My dear brother!!!"

Upon seeing Xia Lin, Wang Shichong felt his nose tingle with blood. Without saying a word, he rushed forward and hugged Xia Lin tightly, exclaiming, "I've missed you so much, brother! I've missed you so much, brother!"

Xia Lin: ? ? ?
"You..." Xia Lin forcefully broke free from Wang Shichong's clutches, looking him up and down in surprise: "You're here for a medical consultation?"

Normally, the King of Xuzhou would come here for recuperation and medical treatment. Otherwise, he wouldn't leave so easily, as he might be suspected of rebellion. He has a criminal record, and acting recklessly could lead to trouble.

"What illness do you need? I'm perfectly healthy. I just came here to see you, my dear brother!"

As he spoke, Wang Shichong gestured behind him, and the caravan began to carry things over. They didn't even need to look at what was inside; the exquisite wooden boxes alone would cost a hundred or eighty taels of silver each.

"Stop, stop, stop!"

Xia Lin reached out and stopped them at the door, her face full of confusion: "What are you doing here?"

"My dear brother, you still don't know?"

Wang Shichong glanced at Xia Lin with some surprise, then turned his head and his voice became stern: "What's going on here?"

Immediately, a lieutenant stepped forward and whispered in Wang Shichong's ear: "Lord Situ, when we arrived here a few days ago, Lord Xia was traveling and cultivating with his disciples, and we did not know the cause of this matter."

Hearing this, Wang Shichong nodded, then glanced disdainfully at the vulgar items displayed at Xia Lin's door, and said casually, "In that case, brother, let's go inside first and talk."

After bringing Wang Shichong into the house, he carefully explained to Xia Lin the whole story of how he came to be there. Xia Lin was clearly stunned after listening: "Zhuo Heng is that awesome?"

"Hahaha, that's for sure, like father, like son."

Seeing Xia Lin's eyes practically rolling back to the sky, Wang Shichong quickly explained, "What I mean is that a teacher for a day is a father for life, and a powerful sect naturally won't produce cowardly disciples. My Bojun has found a good sect. So, according to custom, I've come to present a gift to the sect. My dear brother, you can't refuse. You must know that bowing to express gratitude to one's teacher is a matter of course."

Xia Lin stood there pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back: "So this is why I was suddenly and inexplicably made a king?"

“That’s for sure. Your unparalleled achievements in expanding our territory are truly remarkable. Let alone being made a king, even if you were…” Wang Shichong suddenly stopped, revealing a knowing smile that said, “You know what I mean.”

Xia Lin frowned deeply: "I can't accept it."

"Whether you accept it or not is none of my business. I'm using this to thank my sect. I've delivered the gift, and it's fine. As for how to dispose of it, that's entirely up to you."

Looking at the boxes and boxes of gifts that filled the yard, Xia Lin knew that for a gluttonous and greedy man like Wang Shichong, all the gifts in the yard must be priceless.

"Besides, this also contains my heartfelt gift to my younger brother and sister-in-law. I know you are exceptionally independent, but please don't let your younger brother and sister-in-law feel cold."

"Stop pushing me." Xia Lin was immediately furious. "Aren't you just trying to embarrass me? You have your rules, and so do I. I'm used to a simple life and can't handle this glitz and glamour."

“Brother! One must be flexible.” Wang Shichong bowed to Xia Lin and said, “I will be hosting a banquet for your family tonight. Please do me the honor of attending.”

(End of this chapter)