The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 374 Love is not invincible; it cannot overcome all difficulties.
After being stunned for a moment, Daoist Shanqing burst out laughing.

What Lin Li hoped to hear at the funeral... was truly simple and honest.

—This guy simply doesn't want to die.

However, if what Lin Li said is true, then being sprinkled with glutinous rice is already a good thing. Lin Li should hope that there will be no children's urine at the funeral.

In fact, Lin Li not only thought about what he would most like to hear after his death, but also imagined what would be written on his tombstone.

Lin Li currently has two plans, both of which are four-line epitaphs.

Option one is "Adventure Mode", "Mini-Games", "Puzzle Mode" and "Survival Mode". It's best to place three vases as offerings and write "Options", "Help" and "Exit" on them. By the way, the flowers in the vases must be fake, otherwise Lin Li is afraid that Zhou Bao will steal them.

As for Option Two, it is "Line One (Smooth)", "Line Two (Busy)", "Line Three (Smooth)", "Line Four (Crowded)", and then your own funeral photo is turned into a picture of a little girl looking for a sugar daddy.

“It’s fine, but it’s not suitable for Grandpa.” Daoist Shanqing laughed. “If Grandpa’s corpse moves, that’s not good news, because it’s probably related to the remnant souls of the demons, and it’s their strange behavior.”

After pondering for a while, Daoist Shanqing shook his head:
"I can't think of any preferences, nor any aversions. Why should I care about what happens after I'm gone? So, Lin Li, you can freely deliver the speeches and such..."

The Taoist Master Shanqing paused abruptly, frowned slightly, and decided to retract his words:
"Lin Li, please don't improvise."

Lin Li: "?"

My personality seems to have been insulted.

“Just follow the basic funeral procedures in your world. If you need any assistance, just let me know,” Shan Qing Dao Ren said confidently.

"Okay, Grandpa, I understand."

Afterwards, Lin Li used some of the things that were already on site to hold a very simple funeral—attempting to complete the task today. But as expected, the system did not approve it and did not meet its requirements, perhaps feeling that it was not 'serious' enough.

I'll have to do it next time.

For the rest of the time, the three continued doing their own things.

Shanqing Daoren uninstalled Human: Fall Flat directly from his computer and continued to drown in the ocean of Souls-like games.

Deng Wen also imitated Shan Qing Dao Ren by making a computer chair, but he didn't play games; instead, he continued watching documentaries.

Oh, he also found "Human: Fall Flat" on his computer and uninstalled it.

Lin Li continued to absorb spiritual energy.

Now, the spiritual energy that Lin Li has refined within his body has exceeded the level of Qi Refining Perfection in the normal cultivation world.

Theoretically speaking, it is possible to establish a foundation.

The Foundation Building Methods have already been translated in reality, and I even tried them out during the break between evening self-study and the social gathering tonight.

However, since cultivators in the cultivation world generally take pills such as Foundation Establishment Pills to assist in the foundation establishment process—low-level Foundation Establishment Pills are very common in the cultivation world, but for Lin Li, things that the system does not provide, no matter how common they are originally, are unobtainable.

Without these crucial elements to support him, Lin Li's progress in building his foundation along the Dharma path is naturally exceptionally slow, and he doesn't even know if he will succeed in the end.

But it doesn't matter, Lin Li has always been very easygoing, just taking it one step at a time.

"Grandpa, senior, I'm leaving now."

As the time drew near, Lin Li bid farewell to the two and returned home.

Feeling the astonishing spiritual energy content within the "Fire-Nourishing Sword Gourd" in his hand, Lin Li couldn't help but smile.

Even so, it's still not fully absorbed.

The interior space is indeed large. Although it does not have the ability to liquefy spiritual energy, there is a lot of it in gaseous form.

The "random quality spirit stone" can now be dethroned; the spiritual energy inside the gourd alone is equivalent to at least dozens of "high-grade spirit stones".

After washing up, I ordered some of the materials for the funeral on my phone—only some, because it's more efficient and practical to order most of the items needed for the funeral in person.

Lin Li plans to consult with them during the day and then make preparations as much as possible.

After finishing these tasks, Lin Li continued with his current mountain of cultivation tasks.

The fruits of perseverance were always on Lin Li's mind, and he hoped that his efficiency in sleeping and cultivating would slowly improve, so that he could free up more time.

The meditation continued until midnight, and a new week began.

Lin Li used his weekly free refresh opportunity to look at the "Great Creation Pill" slot.

—Although "random quality spirit stones" are already dispensable, "Great Creation Pills" are even more useless to Lin Li.

[You have obtained the "Universal Treasure": 500 System Currency (limited to 1 purchase per day). Would you like to replace it?]

【"Universal Magic Item": When used on any magic item previously owned, that item will transform into the corresponding magic item and inherit its previous refinement level.】

Holy crap, Ditto.

Although the price is a bit high, it's definitely worth it—the previous "Seven-Colored Treasure Robe" was even more expensive. If I get this kind of magic weapon in the future and transform it into a magic weapon of this level, it will definitely be a profit.

Even if I don't get such a magic weapon in the future, I can buy it now and turn it into a "substitute jade-faced Buddha".

This is equivalent to having another chance to die, and it's a "substitute jade-faced Buddha" that has been fully refined.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, this "all-purpose magic weapon" will remain permanently in this slot, and Lin Li will not replace it again.

Anyway, I'll soon have 3600 historical system currency points to unlock the sixth item slot.

Of course, since I plan to stay permanently, there's no point in buying now.

Maintain a minimum reserve of 250 system currency, and then buy it when needed—Lin Li has a half-price coupon, which can be purchased for as low as 250.

……

Tuesday the 26th, sunny.

Tonight's evening self-study session will begin with the school's internal selection exam for the competition.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom carrying breakfast.

According to unofficial historical records, there was another hidden story behind Cao Mengde and Liu Xuande's discussion of heroes over green plums and wine.

"At that time, Cao Cao asked Liu Bei, also considering his abilities: 'Xuande has traveled extensively throughout the land and must know the heroes of this era. Please let me try to name some.'"

After Liu Bei could no longer refuse, he had no choice but to speak. He first said, "Yuan Shu of Huainan, Yuan Gonglu, has ample troops and provisions; he could be a hero." Cao Cao laughed and said, "He's just a skeleton in a tomb; I will capture him sooner or later."

Liu Bei then said, "Yuan Shao of Hebei, Yuan Benchu, according to unofficial historical records, traveled extensively to famous mountains and rivers, discovering discrepancies in time in different places. He then sought out teachers and friends, studying day and night, and finally found the starting point of the meridian! Later generations, to commemorate his achievement, named the starting point of the meridian the Prime Meridian. With such merit, he can be considered a hero."

"Hey, isn't it a bit much to tell unofficial stories within unofficial histories?" Wang Ze, who was still listening to the story from the back row, couldn't help but interrupt and complain.

"Shh, don't interrupt." Bai Bufan was displeased with this, and after Wang Ze made the gesture that he would shut up, he continued to strike the gavel:
"Continuing from where we left off, Cao Cao laughed and said, 'Those who believe in unofficial histories are a thing of the past. Listening to too many unofficial histories will ruin your brain. I've met Yuan Shao in real life; he's all bark and no bite, good at scheming but indecisive, no hero at all.'"

Liu Bei pondered deeply, then said, "Sun Ce, the leader of Jiangdong, is a man of vigor and courage, a true hero." Cao Cao laughed, "Buy him some tenacity boots, then use Flash when he charges in with his boat. If Sun Ce can't control him with his combo, he's done for. That's no hero."

"Afterwards, Liu Bei recommended several other people, but none of them were approved and were all rejected by Cao Cao. He was puzzled and asked directly who he considered a hero."

Cao Cao then uttered the famous line that has been passed down to this day: "The only heroes in the world today are you, my lord, and Mengde!"

Liu Bei was greatly surprised upon hearing this: "I acknowledge that I am a hero, and I, Liu Huangshu, am indeed awesome, but what is Mendel? He was just a pea grower; how dare he compare himself to me? If you ask me, peas should be planted behind sunflowers."

"Cao Cao, who had intended to exchange compliments with Liu Bei, was furious upon hearing this and realized that Liu Bei had no regard for him. He slammed his rice down on the table and prepared to have Liu Bei killed."

"But just then, rain was about to fall and thunder was raging. Liu Bei, who was aware of the danger, took advantage of the thunder and secretly used a stone to break open the sewer, and escaped from Peach Garden through the sewer. This is known in history as "The Redemption of Cao Cao's Mansion".

Later, this story was even remade into a movie in the United States. However, the American side made many changes for localization, which you might not notice.

"That's way too much of a change!"

Lin Li didn't stand there dumbfounded after hearing this; he just smiled, carried his breakfast to the back row, and complained.

"But to be honest, Cao Cao was the true strategist, military strategist, and mastermind of the Three Kingdoms period. He was ambitious and knew how to use people."

Lin Li then remarked with some emotion:

"When I was a child, I liked Liu Bei but not Cao Cao because the story often started from his perspective, so I subconsciously identified with the protagonist."

"But as I grew older, I started to think about more things, and gradually I came to like Diao Chan."

Everyone, who thought they already knew what Lin Li was trying to say, was stunned by his words.

"(；☉_☉)?"

"Lin Li, why the hell did you choose C over A and B?" Wang Ze laughed and cursed.

"Because I've grown up, and I think about more things now," Lin Li shrugged matter-of-factly.

"The House of Commons has started its work, has it?"

"Just tell me whether you like Diao Chan or not."

"I do like it, hehe."

"father."

When breakfast was given to Zhou Baowei, Zhou Baowei grabbed the breakfast with his left hand and Lin Li's hand with his right, looking at him tenderly, trying to awaken his father's love.

"Tell me the matter first, and then I'll consider whether or not to acknowledge you as my son." Lin Li was very wary.

Always be wary of your son's sudden enthusiasm, because he's probably just after your own gold coins.

"It's nothing," Zhou Baowei rubbed against Lin Li's hand like a kitten, "Brother, could you help this little glutton get some lunch? Meow~"

"Holy shit!!! You son of a bitch, you motherfucker!"

Lin Li abruptly pulled his hand away, unable to contain his disgust any longer. The impact of Zhou Baowei meowing was no less than when Lin Li learned that Bai Bufan had meowed like a cat.

—Once, Lin Li asked Bai Bufan to play games, but Bai Bufan said he was in the hospital and couldn't play.

Lin Li, of course, wasn't lacking in emotional intelligence; he immediately asked him why he went to the hospital and what had happened.

Bai Bufan answered that it was from petting cats.

If you're allergic to cat fur, there's really nothing you can do.

However, after sending this comforting message, Bai Bufan said that he was not allergic to cat fur.

Bai Bufan: "I suddenly wanted to pet a cat today, but I don't have a cat at home, so I compromised and started meowing like a cat and petting myself. When my family found out, they thought I had mental problems and took me to the hospital for treatment."

Lin Li was astonished. To be honest, this was no longer a question of whether or not to send him to the hospital. Lin Li felt that he should be sent to a temple or Taoist temple for exorcism.

Of course, for Bai Bufan to say such nonsense is clearly a life story he created simply to refuse Lin Li's invitation to play games.

Damn it.

"Because I'm a little glutton, please, I want to eat." Zhou Baowei was shameless (in physics), so he just smiled and continued to beg.

"What do you mean you want to eat?" Lin Li didn't understand, so he frowned and asked.

"On the second floor of the school cafeteria, they've introduced a new stone pot bibimbap this week. I heard it's delicious, and Baowei wants to try it."

But that stuff is only available on a trial basis right now, and there aren't many available each day. Also, some people want to eat it, but you know how fast Baowei moves; he can't possibly compete with that. So, I'm planning to entrust it to you."

Wang Ze, who was playing around with his stepson Haoyang, turned around and answered for Zhou Baowei.

"Mmm." Zhou Bao nodded as if pecking at rice. "That's it, brother, please, I really want to eat it. I'm counting on this one bite to survive this week."

Lin Li found it somewhat amusing and gave the middle finger, not expecting it to be like this:
"I can handle breakfast, but now you expect me to handle lunch too? Why don't you let Wang Ze take care of it? He's a sports student, isn't he meant to be useful at times like this?"

"The person in Class 4 who respects sports students the most." Zhang Haoyang gave a thumbs up.

“Wang Ze now runs to the senior high school building as soon as classes end in the morning and afternoon. He doesn’t have time to help me get food.”

Zhou Baowei gave a sarcastic reply, then looked at Wang Ze with disdain and continued his attack:

"They're always together. I reckon it won't be more than a few weeks before they start to hate each other. In the end, Qian will suffer a terrible fate, and Wang Ze will die a horrible death."

"Damn it, am I just destined to die a horrible death?"

Wang Ze stopped toying with his stepson and instead grabbed Zhou Baowei by the neck, laughing and cursing:

"Baowei! You don't know anything! I can't stand it at all. I'm so happy every day now, I wish we could stick together all the time."

If you ask me, the so-called seven-year itch is simply a matter of not loving enough. As long as there's love, this situation won't occur no matter how many years pass.

Bai Bufan, who was engrossed in eating breakfast, looked up upon hearing this, and glanced at Wang Ze with disdain and contempt:
"You're just talking without understanding the situation. You haven't experienced it yourself, yet you're here giving unsolicited advice. Do you think you know everything?"

Since getting a girlfriend, being besieged by everyone has become a daily occurrence for Wang Ze, who's gotten used to it. It's just envy, jealousy, and hatred, so he just changed the neck to strangle her again.

"Damn, that's extraordinary. Don't act like you know everything."

"I understand."

Bai Bufan responded confidently as Wang Ze swayed his hand back and forth.

"You, a mere peony, know nothing about consignment," Wang Ze sneered.

“I really understand,” Bai Bufan said, pulling Wang Ze’s hand away. His expression was serious. “Don’t even mention the seven-year itch. If you ask me, even seven months will make you itch. So, Wang Ze, you don’t have much time left.”

"This is my real case, a lesson learned through blood and tears."

"You even published a case study?" Wang Ze asked in surprise.

"Yes, my daughter Ponyo has only been using it for seven months. At first, she was fine, but now she's started to itch."

This isn't about whether I love you or not. I'm not kidding, I still love you, but it's no use, I still feel itchy!

Wang Ze, show me how to relieve an itch with love?
It's been like this for seven months, and you're still talking about seven years? If seven years really pass, it'll be beyond itching, it'll be completely ulcerated..."

Bai Bufan's voice was full of sincerity and regret, as well as mockery of Wang Ze's arrogant words.

Wang Ze: "(；☉_☉)?"

"Wait a minute, what the hell is this seven-year itch?!"

When he came to his senses, Wang Ze was already laughing so hard that he was half-kneeling on the ground. At this moment, he forcefully punched Bai Bufan's buttocks through the gap between the chair back and the seat.

"It started itching after seven months, is the quality too bad? You didn't buy it from Pinduoduo for 4.9 yuan with free shipping like me, did you?" Lin Li asked with some doubt.

"I have nothing to say about my Guan Yu, he's top-tier!" Bai Bufan shook his head in denial, then said somewhat dejectedly, "Although I don't want to admit it... maybe... my Guan Yu is too weak..."

Lin Li: "So you've never fucking washed yourself?"

Bai Bufan was stunned for a moment: "Holy crap? This needs to be washed?"

"..."

"..."

"You managed to endure seven months before the itching started, that's extraordinary. You're invincible. Without yin and yang, you're truly invincible." Lin Li gave a thumbs up.

"Hahaha--"

"Hahaha--"

The boys in the back row burst into laughter.

Actually, it wasn't just the boys; Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana, those two who had pricked up their ears, which had now turned into the shapes of Lin Li and Bai Bufan, and were critically 'eavesdropping,' were also secretly laughing.

The two looked at each other and nodded.

This position absolutely cannot be changed!
Once you get to the front row, where else can you hear these amazing conversations?

Therefore, even the class monitor's request was not accepted.

Of course, those who frequently offer sacrifices to evil gods know that listening to the whispers of evil gods comes at a price, as the body undergoes irreversible changes.

Nowadays, Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana often casually utter some "Lin-style slang" when chatting with classmates and friends, and they don't even realize that there's anything wrong with it afterward.

It wasn't until those people pointed it out that I suddenly realized, oh, this doesn't seem to be human language.

It can only be said that there are gains and losses.

The only thing Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana could do was try to avoid actively interacting with these two evil gods in order to slow down their corruption.

Don't you see, now when they pass their homework to the next person, they don't even turn their heads back?

The four of them sat at tables in front of and behind each other for a long time, but they didn't really know each other well on the surface.

"So, Lin Dad, Lin Brother, Lin Li, please help me buy this stone pot bibimbap, please—otherwise I'll cry again—" Zhou Bao made his earnest plea after laughing.

Lin Li sighed. He could spoil his own piglets as he pleased, knowing he would reclaim everything he had lost by the New Year.

"Okay, okay, buy, buy, buy."

So Lin Li nodded confidently:

"It's just grabbing a meal; anyone with hands can do it."

……

#Bai Bufan feeds vegetarians vegetarians#
#Bai Bufan tricked cosplayers into cosplaying as speed bumps#
#Bai Bufan sprinkles itching powder on the back of armless Lin Li#.

Lin Li didn't know if Bai Bufan would be that bad, but he did know that he was about to become the armless Lin Li.

However, the problem doesn't lie with him.

On the stage.

"Semi-conservative replication, this is the core of the core, remember this experiment—Messelsen and Starr used nitrogen isotopes for labeling..."

—It's the last class of the morning, but the biology teacher has gone overtime.

The more happy you were when your biology teacher was talking about his college experience, the sadder you are now.

Lin Li's gaze turned towards the classroom door. Students from Class 5 or 6, who had already finished class, were walking down the corridor toward the stairs.

As for Zhou Baowei's face, it was filled with the despair of having his soul ripped out.

“My bibimbap... my bibimbap... gone... I will never laugh again…” Zhou Baowei hummed softly.

"Okay, let's go over this one last time..." But the biology teacher seemed to still have more to say, and after finishing one small point, he planned to continue.

"Dear teacher, darling, please stop going on like this. You've already gone over an hour's time." To protect his hands, Lin Li thought for a moment and then raised his voice slightly.

The biology teacher was taken aback, glanced at his watch instinctively, and asked in confusion, "It's only been two minutes."

“Teacher, if you extend the class by two minutes, the whole class of forty students will be extended by eighty minutes. That’s two class periods.” Lin Li said, neither humble nor arrogant.

"Huh?" The biology teacher paused for a moment, then pointed at the person like a husky.

You little brat! You're defying the Heavenly Order!

(End of this chapter)