I logged into Mr. Zombie

Renjia Town, Tanji Teahouse.

"Then Huang Feihong burst into laughter, and the roof beams shook violently, scattering dust and debris!"

The storyteller abruptly closed his folding fan and lightly tapped it with his hand.

"it is good!"

Everyone clapped and cheered.

At one of the tables, Uncle Nine and his two disciples were drinking tea.

After finishing his snacks, Qiu Sheng reached out to steal Uncle Jiu's, but was glared at. As he withdrew his hand, he muttered, "How long has it been since that Fang Feifeng family cleaned their roof beams? What drunken boxing? I can fight that too."

She was beautiful and skilled in martial arts, so there was no reason why she couldn't even get enough snacks while her opponent could get drunk and become famous throughout the south for his boxing skills.

"Boss He." Uncle Jiu stood up to greet him.

The person he was waiting for finally arrived.

The two sat down to talk about business.

"Thank you so much, Uncle Jiu, for helping me go to another place to look at feng shui," said Mr. He. "But when it comes to looking at feng shui, I can't think of anyone else but you, Uncle Jiu."

"Mr. He, you're too kind. We're all neighbors, it's only right that we help each other out."

“Yes, it’s only right to help, but Mr. He, how much are you planning to give our master for his long trip?” Qiu Sheng suddenly interjected.

Uncle Nine also wanted to discuss the price first, but he was a little embarrassed to do so. However, his apprentice's way of speaking was a bit crude.

He picked up his teacup, drank water, and pretended to be a wise man.

"Even between brothers, accounts should be settled clearly," said Boss He. "I wonder how much Uncle Jiu usually charges?"

Qiu Sheng raised his index finger: "Of course, one hundred silver dollars!"

"What?!" Mr. He was startled.

"Pfft—" Uncle Nine spat out a mouthful of tea. "Cough cough cough, Qiu Sheng, shut up!"

Seeing that Boss He was looking at him, Uncle Jiu said, "Ten silver dollars is enough."

"It's going to be a long trip, and the journey will be tiring," Mr. He shook his head, then tentatively asked, "How about 30 silver dollars?"

“Okay!” Uncle Nine nodded immediately.

100 yuan is ripping people off, 30 yuan is only slightly above the market price, and he doesn't feel guilty at all about taking the money.

This is the true price of a grandmaster.

The two agreed on a price, and because the other party was in a hurry, they set off that same day.

However, when they arrived at the destination by carriage and saw a group of warlord soldiers carrying guns outside, they all had the same thought.

Oops!

Uncle Nine turned to ask, "Mr. He, what do you mean by this?"

“Well, Uncle Jiu,” Boss He forced a smile, “this is Lieutenant Zhao from the army.”

“Let me speak,” the young adjutant in charge said as he walked over. “I would like to ask Uncle Jiu to find a good feng shui spot in this area. To be honest, my elders have passed away… Sigh, we finally managed to get this job, and we wanted to bring honor to our ancestors, so we wanted to give them a proper burial.”

"Sir, your filial piety moves heaven and earth, of course I must help." Uncle Nine glanced at the soldiers carrying guns around him, swallowed hard, and said, "I'll definitely help!"

"Yes, yes, we'll definitely help." Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai nodded repeatedly.

Lieutenant Zhao breathed a sigh of relief, wiped his dry eyes, and said, "The body of the elderly person at home can't be kept for many days. You must hurry, at most two days."

"We will do our utmost!"

Zhao, the adjutant, left, but the three of them, armed with guns, followed them.

Uncle Nine, holding a compass, was still frowning in thought.

The south is mountainous, so finding a good location isn't difficult. However, judging from the accent of that adjutant Zhao, he wasn't from Guangdong or Guangxi; he seemed to be from the Central Plains.

The descendants of Yan and Huang have always believed in returning to one's roots. The other side has guns and soldiers, so it is impossible for them to bury the body in another place.

He couldn't figure out why.

"Master," Qiu Sheng whispered, leaning closer, "that adjutant is acting strangely."

"Is he really looking for an auspicious burial site?"

Wen Cai asked a question casually, but it was like a stroke of genius that stirred something in Uncle Jiu's heart.

"He was looking for an auspicious burial site, but not to bury the body."

"If it's not for burying the body, then what is it for?" x2
"Digging up corpses and robbing graves!"

Uncle Nine had already guessed the cause and effect. It was likely that this group of people had obtained information from somewhere and knew that the tomb was in the vicinity. If they sent someone to dig it up, it would take forever. But if they found a feng shui master to survey the terrain before digging, it would save time and effort.

"Hey, what are you three babbling about?" The overseer soldier in the distance had already raised his gun. "Hurry up and check the feng shui!"

The three immediately smiled apologetically: "We'll find it right away, right away!"

Qiu Sheng grumbled, "Who are you calling a liar?"

Unlike his master, whose urine stream was forked and dripping, he could urinate half a meter deep into the wind.

"Master, are you really going to help us find him?" Wencai asked.

Uncle Nine: "Nonsense, if we don't help them find it, we'll die!"

“That’s called human-made knife…every cut of meat, every slicing of fish in a frying pan.” Qiu Sheng shook his head and sighed, “Hopefully, they’ll let us go after we find them.”

"That's called being at the mercy of others."

Uncle Nine was in a real bind, but this interruption actually made him less nervous.

After a day and a night of searching and locating, he finally found the location of the large tomb.

The soldiers dropped their guns, picked up shovels, and dug holes according to the locations given by Uncle Jiu. Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai also had to work together.

It took most of the day to finally dig up the stone door to the tomb.

"This is it!" the adjutant exclaimed with delight. "Blast open the gate!"

Now that the location has been found, there's no need to keep up the act in front of Uncle Nine.

"boom!"

As the explosion blasted open, the tomb door burst open.

"Go in!" the adjutant exclaimed with delight.

However, just as one or two of his men went in, they heard screams, and the adjutant, who was about to follow, paused.

"Is there a trap or poison inside?" He turned around and stared at Uncle Nine. "You guys go in first!"

Uncle Nine remained motionless.

He knew all along that this kind of large tomb must be extraordinary, so he deliberately didn't warn them. Unfortunately, the adjutant was still a bit cautious and didn't go in with the first batch. Otherwise, the other party would have died tragically in the tomb and received his just deserts. With the group leaderless outside, it would have been perfect for the three of them to escape in the chaos.

The adjutant drew his pistol and pointed it at Uncle Nine's head: "Quickly!"

"Qiusheng, Wencai, come with me." Uncle Jiu sighed. "You must stay close to me and follow in my footsteps."

Judging from what happened to that group of people, if they had made one wrong step, they would have surely died.

With Uncle Nine's help, the mechanisms in the tomb became useless. However, when Uncle Nine led the soldiers into the tomb and saw the corpses, he was immediately horrified.

"Oh no, this is no ordinary tomb!"

He quickly calculated and easily realized that someone had used magic to create a corpse.

Moreover, the owner of the tomb appears to be extremely wealthy and noble, which was probably intentional on his part during his lifetime.

"Hahaha, Empress Dowager Cixi's tomb! We've finally found it!" Zhao's arrogant laughter rang out. "Brothers, move the treasures out! With this money, why are we still fighting? We should be living a carefree life."

"Hahaha!" the soldiers responded with laughter.

Uncle Nine's face turned ashen: "Empress Dowager Cixi's tomb..."

It wasn't that he had any special feelings for Empress Dowager Cixi of the previous dynasty, but rather that the other party had set up this scheme with far-reaching intentions.

He immediately warned, "Be very careful not to disturb the body."

Turning to look at the tomb, they discovered that there was a small hole leading directly to the outside, sealed with yellow talismans and a bronze mirror to block out the moonlight.

"Disturb the corpse?" Lieutenant Zhao seemed to find something amusing. "Could it possibly rise from the dead?"

As they were talking, a soldier reached out and grabbed the bronze mirror.

The bronze mirror in Cixi's tomb must also be a treasure inlaid with gold and silver, especially the one on top, which is exquisitely crafted. It would be a pity to let it go.

As the moonlight shone down, Uncle Nine thought to himself, "This is bad."

Once the group had finished moving everything, they seemed to have completely forgotten about the three masters and apprentices, and happily turned and left.

"Phew." Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai collapsed onto the ground with a thud.

I've survived, at least.

"Prepare to seal the tomb immediately," Uncle Nine said solemnly. "If the corpse inside absorbs the moonlight and rises from the dead, there may be a great disaster."

"Master, you can't handle it either?"

"It's difficult." Uncle Nine looked up at the sky. "Moreover, tonight there's a lunar eclipse, a time when yin prevails over yang, and the righteous decline while the demonic rises..."

"Master, why are you reciting so many idioms?" Qiu Sheng felt his head buzzing. He asked, "Master, where does the moonlight come from when the celestial dog eats the moon? The moon has been swallowed up."

Uncle Nine turned and glared at him: "Without moonlight, how did you see me?"

“That’s because…” Qiu Sheng wanted to argue, but after meeting Uncle Jiu’s gaze, he immediately changed the subject, “Master, what should we do?”

Someone who is not very cultured but likes to use idioms, who is petty but likes to pretend to be magnanimous, seems to be another person like that.

"If we can seal it off, things will be easier," Uncle Nine said.

"What if it can't be sealed off?" Wencai asked.

Uncle Nine glanced at the two of them and said, "We can have a grand feast for the three of us, master and disciples."

"Ah?!" X2
The two of them started playing.

Uncle Nine immediately ordered, "Go quickly to the nearby villages and find black dog blood, chicken blood, yellow cloth, and yellow paper."

"Master, there's no village or shop in sight here, where are we supposed to look?"

The two were in a dilemma.

Uncle Nine shook his head: "That would be terrible."

Suddenly, a cloud of mist rose from the cave ahead.

"Thump" "Thump" "Thump" "Thump"

A dull, heavy bouncing sound came from the air.

The three of them turned their gazes at the same time, and saw that the group of corpses that had been lying there had now stood up, raised their arms, and jumped out.

Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai: "This is really terrible."

Asking him to fight dozens of zombies all by himself? Do you really think he's some kind of god descended from heaven?

Uncle Nine: "What are you all standing there for? Run!"

Meanwhile, a caravan that had set out from Tanjia Town was intercepted.

The vehicle was requisitioned, and everyone on board was forced off.

Disguised as a servant, Shen Yu saw that it was a warlord. She raised her hand and touched the jade ring that was tied to her clothes and hidden by a rope. If she went up now and revealed her true identity, they might be able to send her back to see the "emperor".

Just as he was about to take a step, he heard a soldier in front of him say, "I never thought that following Lieutenant Zhao as a deserter could actually make me rich, hahaha."

deserter?

Shen Yu immediately stopped, relieved that he hadn't revealed his identity. After they hijacked the car and left, the members of the Tan Family Town caravan looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Let's turn back," the leader said. "Consider it a loss to avoid further trouble."

Another person nodded in agreement: "There really are people who don't give the Tan family any face."

"Wait, you can't go back!" Shen Yu said urgently, spreading her arms to stop them. "If you go back, how am I supposed to get to the capital?"

"There's a village about ten miles back," the leading merchant said. "Miss Shen, we need to go there to inform Tanjia Town, then rent a car to go back. You can come back with us and wait for a while. We'll go to the capital again when we're ready."

"I'm running out of time. If you wait, how long will it take?" Shen Yu shook her head.

She was in a hurry to go back to being empress; she was in a real rush.

"Then there's no other way. Why don't you come back to that village with us and then figure out how to get to the capital yourself?"

These people didn't know Shen Yu's identity; they only knew that she was someone who had been sent in by a head maid of the Tan family. They assumed she was a relative, so they helped her out.

There is absolutely no way I would personally take her there.

"I..." Shen Yu cried out in a moment of panic, "I'm in a hurry to get back and ascend the throne as empress!"

Thump thump thump thump thump

The sound of jumping could be heard.

It sounds eerie and chilling in the desolate wilderness.

“Someone is running this way. Hmm, it looks like Uncle Jiu from Renjia Town.”

They traveled all over the country doing business, and someone in their group happened to have dealt with Uncle Nine before.

What's behind them?

"Zombies!"

The people of Tanjia Town are probably the group in the world most quick to accept encounters with ghosts and zombies.

They then pulled out yellow talismans, peach wood swords, Buddhist beads, and other items.

The corpses were scattered about, seemingly unremarkable, but as the horde approached, these things began to glow faintly.

The horde of corpses seemed startled and dared not approach for a moment.

"Huff, huff, huff..." The three of them, including Uncle Nine, were panting heavily.

"Ascension to the throne? What ascension to the throne?" A ghostly female voice echoed.

Everyone turned to look and saw a woman in a phoenix robe staring at Shen Yu.

"Donglongcha, bring him here."

Another plume of smoke rose, from which emerged a graceful figure with a braid.

Seeing this, Uncle Nine snatched the peach wood sword from a merchant nearby and took the initiative to fight back.

However, the moment they touched it, the peach wood sword was kicked in two by the other party.

"Not a ghost?" Uncle Nine's eyes widened.

"I am Dong Longcha, the top scholar in both civil and military affairs in the second year of the Shunzhi reign of the Qing Dynasty. After my death, I hid in a lamp and cultivated the righteous path, thus becoming the lamp god." The figure flicked open a folding fan. "I am not a ghost."

Qiu Sheng whispered a reminder: "This is a tricky idea, Master."

"Yes, what do we do now?" Wencai asked as well.

The two of them hid behind Uncle Nine in perfect unison.

"run."

"Huh?" X2
"Oh!" X2
They turned and ran away. As for the bosses, let them each rely on their own abilities.

The others also heard what Uncle Nine said and turned to run away, but as they ran, they kept taking things out of their pockets.

The first lesson in running a business in Tanjia Town: go to Zixia Temple to buy a talisman.

The Zixia Temple has many disciples, and they often draw a lot of talismans to practice their skills. These talismans are inexpensive and quite effective, making them suitable for self-defense or as gifts.

A zombie lunged at the slowest-running merchant, who frantically threw out a talisman.

"Awooo!" The zombie was so frightened that it retreated, but the talisman was sticky and actually adhered to its body, causing a series of crackling and popping sounds.

When the other zombies saw the merchants scattering talismans for free, they all scattered and got out of the way.

“Master, they seem to know fear.” Qiu Sheng turned his head and saw this scene, and immediately became eager to try.

Uncle Nine poured a bucket of cold water on him: "Do you have a talisman?"

"I……"

There is definitely no talisman.

I wonder how much money all those talismans must have cost.

So let's keep running.

Wen Cai accidentally stepped into a pit and fell, but the zombies ignored him and continued forward.

Eventually, the zombies surrounded Shen Yu.

The genie appeared before Shen Yu: "Young lady, the Empress Dowager requests your presence for questioning."

With Uncle Nine around, there was no way he could just stand by and watch Shen Yu be captured. He bit his finger and used his blood to fight the zombie, which was enough to force it back. But the Genie was not a demon, which greatly reduced Uncle Nine's offensive power, and the two sides were deadlocked.

The only obstacle, Uncle Nine, was blocked. Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai were already at their limit in dealing with two zombies, not to mention that these zombies were quite different.

They know martial arts, they can think, and they can even cooperate.

An invulnerable body with immense strength, coupled with a sharp mind, makes one invincible against flesh and blood.

Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai punched the zombie in front of them several times with quick punches, causing it to flinch in pain.

"Help!" Shen Yu struggled and her newsboy cap fell off, revealing her long, smooth black hair.

The lunar eclipse had just occurred, and her stunningly beautiful face was even more dazzling under the moonlight, as if she were a fairy from the moon palace descended to earth.

"A woman?" X2
"Master, the person has been kidnapped, what should we do?"

They weren't lustful; they were simply kind-hearted and would never allow innocent people to be captured by zombies.

The rest of the caravan, still casting spells to protect themselves: "..."

Are we not human?

On the other side, Uncle Nine raised his fist to meet the kick that the Genie was about to deliver, and blocked it without changing his expression.

"Come back," the zombie empress dowager, holding a lantern in the distance, said.

The genie glanced at Uncle Nine, who had no expression on his face, then turned into mist and flew away.

The other zombies also received orders and retreated in an orderly manner.

"Master? Are you alright?" Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai approached.

"Of course it's alright," Uncle Nine said with a straight face. "However, these zombies are quite difficult to deal with. To avoid any unforeseen complications, we should call for help... Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai, send a telegram immediately!"

How do I use it? x2
"Fetch a basin of water."

"Oh" x2
The two turned to leave, and Uncle Nine hurriedly turned back, his face contorted with pain as he held his right hand and blew on it to relieve the pain.

"Master, the water is here."

"So fast?" Uncle Nine immediately straightened his expression.

Wencai asked worriedly, "Master, are you in pain?"

"Of course it doesn't hurt." Uncle Nine smiled contemptuously. "We weren't well prepared today, otherwise none of those zombies would have escaped."

"As expected of Master!" x2
Uncle Nine smiled.

However, his right hand was hidden behind his back and trembling violently.

It fucking hurts!
……

At night, Tan Wenjie was standing on the edge of the bed, pushing his semen into Bai Rourou's abdomen.

"Beep, beep."

Inside the room, the wine cups on the table were shaking violently.

The wine in the cup rippled.

The leg on the shoulder paused.

"Wait!" Bai Rourou said in a weak voice, "Someone is using a long-distance fax machine."

Tan Wenjie was annoyed: "Calling so late?"

It affects marital life.

But given the harassment caused by long-distance faxes, they either refuse to answer or broadcast the message live.

Just as he was about to hang up, he suddenly noticed that Bai Rourou was very nervous.

He didn't seem to be in a hurry to hang up. He tapped the glass casually, and it continued to vibrate, but the communication failed.

"No, Master, you must go over there quickly..." Bai Rourou was most skilled in the magic of teleportation over long distances, and she also knew that there was an automatic connection function, so she became more and more nervous.

However, it is easy to risk one's life to enter the tiger's den, but difficult to extricate oneself from it.

Caught in a dilemma, Tan Wenjie could only struggle between the two options repeatedly, resulting in a stalemate that lasted for quite some time.

Finally, the war ended.

Although he lost, he was full of energy, while Bai Rourou was almost unconscious.

Tan Wenjie drew the curtains, sat down in front of a chair, and connected to the communication.

"Uncle-Master, you finally accepted it."

The message was sent by Uncle Nine.

Uncle Nine asked, "Why are you all sweaty?"

"I was practicing martial arts just now," Tan Wenjie asked. "Aren't you guys up so late?"

"Something serious has happened."

Uncle Nine quickly recounted the events of the past few days in a few sentences.

"...There was a large group of intelligent zombies in that tomb. The leader of the zombies claimed to be Empress Dowager Cixi and had a magic lamp in his hand. Your caravan happened to run into us, and a girl in the caravan was kidnapped and her fate is unknown."

Tan Wenjie frowned: "What nonsense about Empress Dowager Cixi! She dares to steal my people!"

Uncle Nine said, "If we don't deal with these zombies quickly, it won't be long before a zombie town appears."

"I'll send someone over right away."

He could easily send any one of his demons or monsters to cause upheaval within a hundred miles.

Even a single hair can be enough to destroy the opponent.

"Send someone?"

Uncle Nine most wanted Tam Man-kit to come in person, after all, his Lightning Thunder Fist had been passed down from his senior brother Shek Kin, and with his unparalleled thunder technique, he was the nemesis of zombies.

However, he then thought that if Caiyi, Bai Rourou, and others could come to help, it would greatly increase their chances of winning.

Tan Wenjie turned his head and glanced at Bai Rourou, who was sleeping soundly on the bed.

"Never mind, I'll go there myself."

Who told me to transform into a sage, wholeheartedly devoted to the righteous path? Those zombies are just unlucky. (End of Chapter)