I logged into Mr. Zombie

Chapter 595 Short Stories After the Rain

Yichun Courtyard.

At night, the candlelight flickered, and the shadows of a group of people were pressed against the wall, grinning and gesticulating wildly.

Crash.

The pleasant sound of banknotes turning over, and the crisp sound of silver coins rolling and colliding.

"After this job, we can earn at least several thousand taels of silver."

"What's the next step?"

"I'll listen to you, young master!"

"The Master is here!"

The curtain in front was lifted, and Tan Wenjie walked out, waving his folding fan and waving away the young lady who was trying to get close to him.

"Everyone must remember, we are not selling things, we are helping people and bringing the gods to their homes!"

"Understood!" everyone answered in unison.

Tan Wenjie: "..."

He initially just wanted to use Tang Bohu's fame and his own magical powers to expand his influence. Since he was already there, he figured he might as well boost his reputation as a respected figure.

Things are taking a strange turn.

Could I really be a master of pyramid schemes?
He casually pointed and said, "Old Liu, what do you think we should do next?"

"Yes!" The storyteller who was called stood up, puffed out his chest, cleared his throat, as if he were blessed with boundless glory. "I think we should all eat and sleep together from now on, work together, and strive to promote the Heavenly Venerable."

Tan Wenjie: "..."

If you're so capable, turn your gaze away from those brothel girls' thighs over there, and I'll be too embarrassed to call you out!

"Old Sun, you tell us."

"Bringing back the statue of the Celestial Venerable is just the most basic step. We should attract more people to join voluntarily, and we need to set up entry requirements so they can't just come and go as they please. We also need to establish levels, with the profits earned by downlines going to uplines. The more devout they are, the more rewards they will receive. And I also..."

"stop."

Tan Wenjie raised his hand to stop him.

Okay, now he's pretty sure that the team he casually assembled is no ordinary sales team, but rather the elite of a pyramid scheme.

"Don't harm or deceive people." Tan Wenjie gave a few more instructions before leaving the matter to others. "By the way, the new portraits are already in the warehouse. Remember to keep them strictly separate. We need to build a temple with the money we make later!"

The crowd answered in unison, "Understood, young master."

As long as they can make a lot of money and improve their lives, they don't care whether the gods in the portraits are real or not; in their hearts, they are all true gods.

Tap tap tap, soft footsteps came from above.

Tan Wenjie glanced up, then turned and walked away without paying any attention.

Two figures landed lightly on the rooftop, one tall and one short, one large and one small, both women.

"elder sister?"

"I knew there was a problem a long time ago."

They hung upside down from the eaves like bats, listening intently.

"What is the problem?"

"If there's no problem, what's the deal with all that gold and silver treasure in the room?"

"It seems they made their money selling Tang Bohu's calligraphy and paintings."

"Do you believe it? As far as I know, Tang Bohu rarely sold paintings, so it must be a fake."

"Oh, so what should we do?"

"Rob the rich and give to the poor."

"Sister, I know this: rob their rich to help our own poor! Who should we target?"

"Of course it's that pretty boy. He kept staring at my chest when we met last time. He's a swindler who cheats people out of their money and is a womanizer. We can't let him get away with this easily."

She has made up her mind to act as a substitute for Heaven.

"Remember to stay far away when the time comes, it can get a bit bloody when I make my move."

"Sister, we're chopping off heads for bounties every day, could there be anything bloodier than this?"

"It will only get bloodier!"

You think you can just say you won't watch it? Hmph, I'll watch it from a distance later.

The two of them darted and leaped across the rooftops like cats.

The enormous full moon seemed to be carried on the rooftop, with two silhouettes, one large and one small, passing by.

The larger one trembled slightly after it fell, drawing envious glances from the smaller one.

Tan Wenjie went out onto the street and had already noticed that two women were following him. It was obvious that they had ill intentions and most likely wanted to rob him of his virtue, since all his money was in the brothel.

In the pitch black, under a dark and windy sky, two women wielding swords descended from the sky—a scene far from romantic.

He really likes the atmosphere, and if the other party insists on using force, there's nothing he can do.

The fact that the other person looks exactly like someone else again means there must be some story behind it.

Tang Bohu's work as a painter was complete, he had squeezed every last drop of profit out of him, but there are still many parts of this world worth exploring.

With enough patience, there are many things worth exploring in each world. Tan Wenjie roughly estimated that even if he explored and developed the world of "Exorcist Police" to his fullest extent, the exploration level would not exceed 50%, with the remaining amount mostly between 1% and 5%.

If he doesn't take the route of cultivating favor with the gods, but instead goes straight for the evil cultivation route, all the gods and Buddhas in the world can appear in front of him with their health bars intact.

He made a hand seal with his right hand and flicked his sleeve.

The wind blows, the clouds move, and the rain arrives.

The two women had just descended from the sky, intending to sneak up behind Tan Wenjie, when the torrential rain pelted them precisely, instantly turning them into drowned rats.

Looking up, they saw a low, dark cloud just above them, and the ground was still dry even a few steps away.

"..."X2
Tan Wenjie glanced at the two of them, then immediately turned his head away.

"Sister, you are a true gentleman."

Their clothes were completely soaked, and their figures were not hidden at all. How could someone turn their head away without looking? What else could they be but a true gentleman?

"Hmph, he's definitely a hypocrite," the older sister snorted. "Remember to stay away from him. You're too young to see through his true nature. Be careful not to get taken advantage of and left with nothing."

"Oh."

The older sister took the initiative to walk up to Tan Wenjie and said, "Hey, why don't you dare look at me?"

Tan Wenjie lowered his head.

It has a strong visual impact.

It reminded him of the experience of eating steamed buns at home a few days ago.

No one in the world can resist steamed buns.

Heaven and earth can bear witness that he was trying to create a romantic setting, to take shelter from the rain under the eaves with the two women, but he had no experience with rain and accidentally let it pour.

"Young lady, you should not look at what is improper."

The older sister rolled her eyes: "..."

If you take your eyes off my chest, I'll believe you.

"Young master, we are both soaked to the bone, and now that it's dark and windy, we have nowhere to go. Could we take shelter at your house?"

A little story after the rain?
There are only two possibilities for two beautiful women choosing to walk on the street at night.

One possibility is that they are not human and have just woken up at night.

Another possibility is that they are people who have broken their promises to the imperial court and are subject to daytime traffic restrictions.

Tan Wenjie shook his head: "It's not appropriate for a man and two women to be alone in a room. Let's forget about it."

"My sister and I would never repay kindness with enmity, nor would we ever slander you, young master."

"I mean it will affect my innocence and reputation."

"..."X2
He speaks bluntly without thinking; if it weren't for the fact that he's quite handsome, I would have already slashed him with my sword.

“The two young ladies have been soaked by the heavy rain, and they will definitely get sick if this goes on for too long,” Tan Wenjie said, shaking his head. “The education I received from childhood also tells me that I cannot ignore this.”

The two sisters' eyes lit up instantly.

Then they heard Tan Wenjie say, "There's a pharmacy up ahead. It should still be open at this time. Go and get your medicine."

"..."X2
Forget it, let's just kill him.

"Thank you for informing us, sir. Otherwise, my sister and I would certainly have fallen seriously ill. May I ask how we should address you, sir?"

You're thanking me for this?

They practically had "there's something wrong with us" written all over their faces.

Why don't you go and thank the doctor first?

Tan Wenjie shook his head and said, "We've only met by chance; there's no need for us to know each other's names."

"We've shared a rain shower, so we're destined to meet." She raised her hand to brush a strand of hair from the corner of her lips.

Wet clothes, strands of hair stuck to the corners of her mouth, and eyes brimming with affection.

Especially when you're on a high vantage point, you can see all the mountains below.

The sticky, post-rain encounter, while the atmosphere leaned towards that of a Japanese action film, at least had the element of "atmosphere".

"That's true." Tan Wenjie nodded, then walked towards his sister, who had been offline and silent since earlier. "What's your name, young lady?"

"Huh? Me?" The younger sister pointed to the tip of her nose.

She grinned, always told by her sister that she was still a child, never expecting that someone would ask her name.

"We still need to go to the clinic for a checkup, young master, farewell."

The older sister jogged over, grabbed her younger sister's hand, and quickly left.

Sister: "Hey hey hey."

She tried to turn around to speak, but her mouth was completely covered, and she was dragged further and further away.

Tan Wenjie raised his hand and waved.

If he tries to seduce someone who's beautiful, wouldn't he be incredibly busy? Besides, the two of them seem ruthless; it would be more interesting to tease each other to relieve boredom.

"We should move to another place tomorrow."

The pyramid scheme den... oh no, I mean the religious center has been established. The next step is to recruit more believers and expand the business rapidly.

Many things are repeatable, and Tan Wenjie plans to continue north, completing his development plan along the way.

the other side.

"Sister, he asked me what my name is."

"His eyes were practically glued to my chest, but he didn't look at you once. He must be playing hard to get."

Wow, sister, you even know this?

"You have to understand the importance of having a lot of fat on your chest, even if you don't know it."

"what?"

"You are young."

"Oh."

It's not very noticeable when you're wearing clothes, but it becomes very obvious after your clothes get wet from the rain.

"But sister, weren't we planning to catch him and rob him? Why did we let him go just now?"

"I'd rather fight for my pride than for a steamed bun."

She's been out in the world for so long, and although she only operates secretly at night and rarely shows her true face, there's a difference between not becoming famous by flaunting her beauty and having beauty but not being chosen by you.

"I can easily take him down with just a flick of my finger."

"Sister, maybe he likes younger girls?"

"..."

Everything else is fine, but she likes small things, and she can't cut meat with a knife.

"impossible."

After a heated discussion, the two sisters decided to wait until tomorrow and have the older sister use her charm to seize the other party's property.

I need to find a place to take a shower first, otherwise I'll really get sick.

The next day, when the two sisters set out to look for Tan Wenjie, they learned that he had already left the area.

Tracking the direction is easy to investigate. He sells those deity portraits in large quantities; as long as you follow the circulation route of those portraits on the market, you can easily catch up with him. "The place he went to... wait, it seems to be the territory of the Iron-Blooded Thirteen Eagles."

As bounty hunters, accepting high bounties from the government and collecting money by taking heads is the main job of the two sisters.

Before they unexpectedly encountered Tan Wenjie, the Thirteen Eagles were their prey.

"That's killing two birds with one stone!" the older sister said. "Let's go!"

The younger sister hesitated, feeling that her older sister wasn't happy about receiving the reward money for the Thirteen Eagles' heads, but rather about being able to appear before that man again.

Women are so complicated; the more unattainable something is, the more they want it.

"Sister, why are you running so fast? Wait for me!"

The two traveled day and night, intending to deal with the bounty first, and then concentrate all their efforts on dealing with Tan Wenjie after they had obtained the head and received the reward.

They were lucky enough to encounter Big Knife and Little Knife, both bounty hunters.

The honey trap that was useless against Tan Wenjie was no match for these two, and they easily snatched all the heads they had killed.

"Sister, we've struck it rich this time."

"Hurry up and find someone; the time should be right."

"Oh."

"Oh what? Wrap your head up in a bundle. That will be my dowry when I get married."

"Sister, who are you going to marry?"

"I just said it offhand."

"Oh."

……

Under the blazing sun, Tan Wenjie wore a straw hat and led a donkey with his right hand.

The donkey evolved from a water-avoiding beast and was once the mount of Prince Ao Bing. Now it has been reduced to a means of transportation, used to scare away stray dogs and jackals on the roadside.

"Ok?"

Tan Wenjie looked at the girl who appeared in front of him, panting and leaning on her knees.

She is the younger sister of the duo who got caught in the rain earlier.

Beside him was a chestnut horse foaming at the mouth.

Riding the Water-Avoiding Beast, though it wasn't known for its speed, it easily outpaced all the famous steeds of the mortal realm. Traveling thousands of miles a day was just like taking a stroll after a meal.

"Hoo hoo hoo, what a coincidence!" The younger sister swallowed hard.

Before she arrived, she had received orders from her sister to bump into him by the roadside, then lead him to a teahouse for tea, and then have her sister beckon him with her finger so that he would willingly hand over everything.

She had no bearing on the first part of the action, except for the part where she beckoned with her finger.

And I didn't expect the other party to run so fast.

They ran through three towns before finally catching up with the other person.

"Girl, something seems off with your horse."

“It’s got heatstroke.” She waved her hand. “Never mind that, young master. It’s fate that we’ve met. Would you like to have a cup of tea together?”

She read the lines exactly as her sister had given her, and she also made a record of whether Tan Wenjie would agree or refuse.

"Tea? There's no village or shop in sight, it might be a shady inn." Tan Wenjie shook his head. "Why don't we go to the town ahead for tea?"

"Do we have to go to another town?"

Not to mention the horse, she herself was about to collapse.

Tan Wenjie: "It's getting dark soon, and I need to find a place to rest."

My younger sister looked up at the sky; the blazing sun hung high in the air.

He lies without batting an eye; his own sister definitely can't outwit him.

"No, you have to come with me!"

I can't think of any other methods, so I'll just use force.

"Young lady, men and women should not touch each other."

As his designated "sister-in-law" across countless worlds, while his wife has changed constantly, his sister-in-law has remained the same.

After a few feigned tugs, Tan Wenjie followed his sister-in-law to a teahouse in the middle of nowhere.

Woods, streamside.

There was a dead horse lying next to the thatched hut and teahouse. Given that his sister's horse had also foamed at the mouth before, he had reason to suspect that this horse had also run itself to death from exhaustion.

A familiar figure was brewing tea.

Hearing footsteps, the person inside turned around, looking surprised: "Oh, little sister, how did you run into the young master?"

The expressions are artificial and the acting is exaggerated. Just widening your eyes doesn't mean you can act surprised. If the expression buttons are all occupied, what will happen to expressions like anger, rage, and joy in the future? There will be conflicting expressions.

The younger sister read aloud, "I accidentally bumped into you, young master, when I was passing by. What a coincidence!"

Please take a look at the horse next to you, so exhausted it's foaming at the mouth, before you say anything else.

Tan Wenjie stood still, waiting for the two of them to perform.

"Young master, we are truly destined to meet."

It was very awkward, but considering that I was also attracted to the other person's good looks, I'll just pretend I didn't notice.

"Now that we've met twice, we should consider ourselves friends. May I ask your name, sir?"

"My surname is Tan, and my given name is Wenjie."

"Young Master Tan, you may call me Min'er." As she spoke, she picked up a cup of tea and offered it to Tan Wenjie.

A faint fragrance wafted over, and his gaze shifted to the other person's face, meeting those affectionate eyes. Tan Wenjie thought to himself, "This is bad. It's time to test myself again."

The other person was sweating profusely from the journey, with a few strands of hair sticking to their forehead, flushed cheeks, and heavy breathing as they spoke.

"How could Miss Min'er be thousands of miles away?"

"Oh? It's that far."

She cursed inwardly, "Who knew your donkey could run so fast? I thought I could catch up easily, but it has gone so far in the blink of an eye."

She didn't even have time to collect the bounty; the head was just sitting there, about to rot.

Tan Wenjie sniffed slightly: "What's that smell? It smells rotten."

He turned to look at the large package beside him.

"Haha, it's nothing." She leaned to the side, blocking the package. "These are just things girls carry when they go out, things that aren't convenient for outsiders to see."

What girl would carry a dozen or so human heads with her when she goes out?

"I see. Hmm, it seems like something is leaking out." Tan Wenjie pointed at the package in confusion. "Miss Min'er, something is leaking from your package."

Roll, and a human head rolled out.

"Ah!" Tan Wenjie screamed in terror, his eyes rolled back and he fell towards Min'er.

She almost instinctively opened her arms and hugged the person.

Looking down to check, he found Tan Wenjie lying unconscious on his chest.

"Phew." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sister, what should we do now?"

"Deal with the head first, then send it to collect the bounty."

"What about him?"

"Leave him here for now. He seems to be attached to me. You'll have to go collect the reward yourself."

"Oh, I found it."

"Also, remember to buy some household items for girls."

"understood!"

As dusk approached, Tan Wenjie slowly woke up.

"you're awake?"

Upon hearing the sound, Tan Wenjie turned around and saw Min'er moving her shoulders, with a very obvious drool mark on her chest.

“Miss Min’er, I…”

“I told you when we met last time that I would never blame you, sir.” She smiled. “You don’t need to blame yourself, sir. People of the martial world don’t concern themselves with trivial matters.”

"But we're alone in a room, a man and a woman. What about my innocence? I'm not even married yet."

"..."

The slap that was about to be delivered to Tan Wenjie's face suddenly turned into a smile.

Both are unmarried, and now this has happened. Moreover, Tan Wenjie seems to be a pure and innocent young man, making it all too easy for her to manipulate him.

"Then why don't I marry you?"

Not far away, the younger sister, who was hiding behind a pillar and secretly observing, hissed in surprise.

This was the first time she had ever seen her sister's expression become so vulgar, just like the bullies who had bullied men and women when they used to pretend to be innocent girls.

Tan Wenjie suddenly became serious and said solemnly, "I think Miss Min'er, you were absolutely right about something you said earlier: people in the martial arts world don't concern themselves with trivial matters."

It's not you who gets bitten on the chest, so of course you can be careless about the details.

She was about to speak when the person on the other end spoke again.

"Oh right, I remember a human head rolled out of your package, Miss Min'er." Tan Wenjie suddenly remembered and quickly backed away.

"Hehehe." Her expression was calm, and apart from her slightly weak laughter, the flaws in her acting were completely concealed in a short time.

Indeed, whether a woman is a liar or not has something to do with how sincere she is.

If she wasn't willing to put in the effort, her delivery would be stiff and emotionless. On the contrary, her willingness to put in the effort to deceive shows her sincerity.

"Young Master Tan, you're mistaken. There's no such thing as a head." She turned and pointed to a package not far away. "Look, isn't that it?"

"Seems to be."

"I'll open it and show it to you."

"it's not good."

"There's nothing wrong with it; it's also to prove my innocence," she said, opening the package.

With a crash, gold and jewelry rolled all over the floor.

Tan Wenjie: "They really are all things for girls."

It's not just girls who like it; boys can't resist it either.

Suddenly, a rustling sound came from the woods.

"Big and small stunners, I've finally found you!"

Two people stepped on the air, sometimes stepping on the air with their left foot and sometimes on their right, and that's how they rushed out.

Upon landing, the two looked around warily.

"Big and small throwing knives?" Her expression changed slightly.

Tan Wenjie looked at the people who had come, and they were all familiar faces.

The older one looks like Prince Duan, while the younger one is Cheng Xiaobei, one of the four siblings from the Cheng family. He's also known as the younger brother-in-law, or by another popular nickname: Asian Little Whirlwind.

"Last time you two stole the Thirteen Eagles' heads, making us two do all the hard work. This time it's our turn to steal from you... How much is the bounty on this pretty boy?"

"Second Uncle, it seems this person didn't receive a reward."

"No bounty? That's impossible. Why would Da Fengsao target him if there's no bounty?"

"Second Uncle, maybe it's because he's handsome."

Am I not handsome?

What a self-humiliating rhetorical question.

"..."

Everyone present fell silent.

“Young master, I am Han Chong, the Great Flying Knife, and this is the Little Flying Knife.” Han Chong pointed at Min’er and said, “The woman standing next to you is no ordinary person. She is the most beautiful of all the beautiful women, a ruthless killer. You must not be deceived by her.”

Tan Wenjie: "What? That's great!"

"??" X4
(End of this chapter)