[Football] Bad Boy Batty

Time flies, and it's Christmas in a blink of an eye. Manchester City's form is still so hot. The brawl after the city derby with Manchester United did not have much impact on them. They went to Swansea's home away game in the middle of the week and won 5-0. Although Manchester United also won a small victory of 1-0 at the same time, most fans said that there is no suspense in this season's Premier League.

However, even so, there are still many hidden dangers within the Manchester City team, such as no holidays during the winter break.

The winter around Christmas is a double test for Premier League players both physically and mentally. When players from other leagues go home for holidays, they have to stay with the team, train under difficult conditions, and play in heavy snow and cold wind.

Including the League Cup and FA Cup, Manchester City had an average of three games a week to play before February, with almost no rest time.

"I've never missed Christmas as much as I do now. The British are crazy." Batistuta, wearing a red and white deer head sweater, crossed his arms and complained to B席. They are now shooting a promotional video for Christmas merchandise activities. "Other national leagues try every means to squeeze out holidays in the winter, but in the UK, the British squeeze out the winter break for more money and arrange so many games."

"If you hate the Premier League so much, why did you come here to play football?" B Silva stretched out his hand and pinched the protruding red nose of the reindeer on Batistuta's sweater, and teased with his usual naughty smile: "I think you just like to take advantage of others with your words. You said that the Premier League is not scary, but it's actually annoying. I saw Neymar's Instagram yesterday. He will be in Brazil for Christmas, right? You also commented under his post, 'That's great, I'm jealous'. Don't think you don't know anything just because you deleted others. I saw everything."

"...You never remember why you got beaten, do you?" Batty glared at him, then slapped away the other's hand that was doing evil on his sweater, stretched out his hands to pinch B's fleshless face and pulled it to both sides, "I'm going to throw you into the swimming pool and take away all your clothes, and you can just wait to be naked in front of the whole club!"

This was not a prank, he had experienced much more extreme ones than this.

B席 smiled indifferently, not caring how horrifying it was for his face to look like a smile under Barty's pulling. He raised his hand and pinched Barty's face. Both of them wanted to pinch the other's face into a pancake, and neither of them was willing to let go first.

De Bruyne, who had just finished chatting with the host in charge of the interview, waved over here: "Almost ready, come over here!"

Batty glanced over there and raised his eyebrows at B Seat: "It's time to shoot, let go."

Seat B was indifferent: "I'll let go if you let go first."

Batty snorted disdainfully: "You started it. You started it."

Seat B pretended to be surprised and opened his eyes wide: "Tell me again who started it?"

Batty: "I don't care, you started it."

Seat B: "You are just being naughty, I won't do it, you have to go first."

"Tsk tsk, you two are childish." Kyle Walker, who was passing by, cast a contemptuous look at them, and then took advantage of the moment when no one could move to reach out and pinch the faces of Batistuta and B Silva, "Stop fighting, you are all my little bitches."

Then he was targeted.

Batty and B. Silva looked at each other, and at the same time let go of one hand to pinch Walker's face, and the two of them pinched each other to form a three-way fight.

"Huh, laugh, why aren't you laughing?" Batty teased, "Whoever says that is childish now."

"That's right. Look, you've got this day, Walker." B席 pinched Walker's face twice, and successfully received a painful 'hiss' from the other party. "With Batistuta here, you still dare to say that you are at the top of the locker room food chain?"

Walker showed a ferocious expression, but all he could do was to retaliate against Batistuta and B. Silva by stuffing his thumbs into their mouths, which only exacerbated the situation. It is well known that the triangle has stability, so it was even more difficult to relax.

De Bruyne, who couldn't call anyone to check what was going on: ...

In the end, it was Guardiola's intervention that ended this childlike fight.

"Be careful, don't move your face, you will be on camera later." The head coach's angle of approach was also very unique. "No one wants the fans to see their red face, right?"

Batistuta clapped his hands in a pretentious manner, rubbed his sore face, made a face at B-Silva and Walker, took the antler headband from De Bruyne and put it on himself, and prepared to go in front of the camera to speak his lines.

Just then, Guardiola reached out to block his way.

"Wait a minute Batistuta, I have something to tell you." The head coach cleared his throat and pointed at the Christmas tree. "I know this is a big holiday and it's worth having a party to celebrate, but given the team's current situation - I hope you can spend this Christmas in peace and stability. There are still many games to play, and you have to be in your best condition."

"What's wrong with having a party? I haven't heard of anyone unable to play due to a dancing injury." Batty frowned, his tone full of displeasure.

"I'm sorry, but there are too many uncertainties in parties. We can't take this risk." Guardiola shook his head. "Think about your team and teammates. They can't take a holiday or go partying. Now is a critical period. We can't let the chain down. The whole world is watching us and waiting for us to make mistakes. We can't give them this opportunity."

Batty didn't say anything, but from his expression it seemed that he was still dissatisfied.

Guardiola sighed, then hugged Batistuta's shoulders and said, "I promise, after this period of time, you can open it however you want, okay Batistuta, then I will be there in person and dance for you to open it."

what!
Pep Guardiola's opening dance!

Batty was delighted.

"Okay, that's what you said, Pep, don't go back on your word." Batistuta patted the coach's hand on his shoulder. "When we get through the busy schedule and win the first championship, I'm going to have the biggest party, and you have to be there!"

"no problem."

"Come on, it's time to start!" De Bruyne waved the wrapped gifts at Batistuta. "These treasures can't wait for you to open them, Batistuta."

"coming!"

After saying that, he made a few gestures to Guardiola, asking him not to forget their agreement, and then trotted off to shoot the video.

Looking at Batistuta's back, which was as happy as a deer, Guardiola smiled helplessly.

It's really hard to raise a child.

Well, poor Guardiola doesn’t even know what an outrageous request he agreed to. I wonder if he will regret it when February comes. Now, we can only wish him good luck.

……

Happy times are always so short. With the start of the Premier League's 'Christmas Campaign', Manchester City's injury list has gradually lengthened, and the defense has once again shown signs of trouble.

Stones is back in the club's gym training but he's not available yet, Kompany has another minor muscle problem, Delph's knee isn't quite right and Laporte, the shy lad, hurt his adductor.

In addition to defenders, players in other positions are not immune.

In the League Cup quarter-final against Leicester City, the prince who had high hopes for Foden was also injured. In order to give the main players more rest, Guardiola rotated almost the entire team in this game, but it was impossible to finish the game in 1 minutes, and finally it was forced to go to a penalty shootout.

Fortunately, Manchester City won the game in the end.

"I was injured when I just started to perform. Maguire's tackle was very fierce, and then he fell on my ankle, which made things worse." Foden, lying on the physiotherapy bed, explained to the camera. The cameraman was from Amazon. He had been following Manchester City for half a season to make a season documentary for them.

"Don't be sad, you are still young, there is still a lot of time and opportunities." The camera moved to the side and came to Batistuta, who lazily lay there receiving a calf massage from Alandes, and then waved at the camera, "These (injuries) will not delay our pace of winning the championship, absolutely not."

The boy's lazy but bright smile made the photographer's heart tremble. What a foul, he thought, when the documentary is produced, I wonder how many people will fall in love with those blue eyes and the curve of the corners of his mouth.

"It's strange for you to say that, Buddy." Walker lay next to Buddy, his hands crossed behind his head. "You're only a few days older than little Phil. Don't use that senior tone when you talk."

"Yeah, compared to us, you are indeed old-fashioned." Batty retorted lightly. He turned his head and winked at Foden. "He's right. You and I are both young. We are in good physical condition. Relax." Walker was naturally unhappy about being humiliated, but he couldn't move due to physical therapy, so he started to talk back to Batty. Foden watched quietly by the side, his eyes fell on the profile of Batty, and then he smiled.

Being injured is not all bad, at least——

At least he could sleep next to Batty in bed.

……

On the last day of 2017, which happened to be the 21st round of the Premier League, Manchester City challenged Crystal Palace away. Except for Batistuta who was not on the roster, Manchester City had almost all the main players.

Judging from the time, it is not yet his rest period, so why is Batistuta not even on the roster this time?
Three days before the game, Batistuta suddenly fell to the ground without any confrontation during training and was rushed to the hospital for examination. Fortunately, the results showed that he had no major problems, but only calf muscle discomfort caused by excessive exercise.

In this way, Batistuta was forced to rest by Guardiola and could not even be a substitute.

"It's so annoying. I'm only 19 years old, how can I have muscle fatigue?" Batty was half lying on the sofa with his three pet dogs lying beside him. He complained to Loach while watching the game. "If possible, I hope to play all 3 rounds. Maybe I will break my goal record last season."

"That's too much, Batistuta. You're not a tin man. You can't possibly mention so many games." Mudfish walked over to Batistuta with washed fruits and sat down next to him, then began to feed him grapes. "You have to keep up the form. The World Cup is coming soon, and people all over Brazil are looking forward to your performance."

The game on TV had already started. Two minutes into the game, Danilo made a diagonal pass, and Bernardo dribbled the ball horizontally from the right side of the penalty area to the middle. After creating a gap, he tried to shoot but missed. Batistuta turned up the volume of the TV a little.

"By the way, Loach, how are you doing recently? I mean, how are you feeling after the breakup." Batty rejected the grapes and picked up an apple to eat. "Alandes said that you haven't been in a good state recently. The day before yesterday, your ex-girlfriend came to the club to find you, and after you came back, you just ate your salad and sat in a daze."

Loach shrugged: "That's it."

"What is that? Don't make me squeeze you like toothpaste." Batty rolled his eyes. "Don't think you can get back together. I'm telling you, there's no room for a white leftist like you in this family."

"No, I don't mean that." Loach shook his head, "Don't worry, Boss, I'm not that indecisive, and Qiao Lin has been counseling me recently."

Batty was stunned for a moment, then jumped up from the sofa: "When did you two get into trouble? Tell me now!"

"No, no, no, no, there is no situation. She has also been having relationship troubles recently. We were just chatting with each other." Loach shook his head repeatedly to deny, "Qiao Lin has a boyfriend, and that guy seems to be cheating on her, but she can't provide any evidence."

Batty looked over suspiciously: "Why didn't she ask me if that was the case?"

"She believes you can't give any good advice other than breaking up," said Loach.

This is true.

Batty curled his lips. To be honest, he couldn't understand these so-called 'normal' relationships. Cheating and adultery were easy to solve, right? Just break up and it's over. There are billions of people in the world, if one is not good, there will be the next one. Why make yourself suffer?

"She better not do anything stupid..."

Before Batty could finish his words, the situation on the court changed.

Crystal Palace intercepted the ball in the frontcourt and launched a counterattack. Ederson who was attacking and Mangala who was returning to defense (this was his first start this season) collided with each other due to lack of tacit understanding. Facing the empty goal, Crystal Palace striker Benteke shot from the right side of the penalty area and hit the post. Manchester City escaped.

"What is Ederson thinking?" Batty frowned and stared at the screen and muttered. He held Kevin the dog in his arms. His intuition told him that this game would not be easy. "I hope nothing will happen."

Then something really happened.

In the 23rd minute, Jesus accidentally slipped during a scramble, and then fell to the ground with his knees in pain. The team doctor rushed to treat him, and Batistuta saw the painkiller spray, but it was of no use. Aguero was urgently substituted, and Jesus, who was crying, was carried off the court by two team doctors. It looked grim.

Batty slammed his own coffee table hard.

"Crow's Mouth!"

……

But the worst is yet to come.

The entire Manchester City team seemed to be in poor form. De Bruyne made a long pass to Sane on the right, but the ball was a little too big for Sane to receive. The ball went out of bounds and the ball was given to Crystal Palace. The camera recorded the whole process of De Bruyne complaining loudly to Sane, and it was obvious that he was more responsible for this goal.

Batistuta opened Twitter and saw that many people were mocking De Bruyne online, saying that he couldn't afford to lose. Some people even said that even if Batistuta was in his place, he wouldn't be able to catch the ball. But if it was Batistuta, De Bruyne would never dare to shout like that.

Looking at those annoying words, Batty couldn't help but start to criticize them.

The situation did not improve in the second half. Guardiola replaced Sterling and Kyle Walker to strengthen the attack, but it did not work. In the 56th minute, De Bruyne dribbled the ball out of the encirclement, but his shot in front of the penalty area was too straight and was confiscated by the Crystal Palace goalkeeper. Three minutes later, Walker assisted and knocked the ball across from the right side of the penalty area. De Bruyne's shot in the penalty area was blocked by the defender.

In the following 20 minutes, neither Sane nor B Silva's passes, nor Fernandinho nor Aguero's shots had any results. Instead, Crystal Palace took advantage of a counterattack to get a penalty kick.

Fortunately, the penalty was not very good and Ederson defended Manchester City's goal.

"Damn Crystal Palace, it's so dirty." Batty no longer looked relaxed. He propped up his chin and frowned as he watched the situation on the field. "It's almost 80 minutes. It can't get any worse."

Apparently he forgot about his bad words in the first half.

So in the 91st minute, Batistuta answered and watched from the stands as De Bruyne was fiercely fouled by Crystal Palace player Ponjon and was knocked out.

"Foda p*ta!" Batty jumped up and cursed at the TV.

The most annoying thing is that he is on this side of the TV, his teammates are on the other side of the TV, the situation is bad, and he can't do anything.

In the end, the two sides ended the game with 0-0. Manchester City's winning streak was interrupted and they drew with Crystal Palace for the first time this season. Jesus was confirmed to have damaged his knee ligament and would be out for 6-8 weeks. De Bruyne also injured his right leg, but in comparison he was lucky and would be able to recover after resting for about a week.

After the game, a reporter asked Guardiola whether Manchester City was still the favorite to win the Champions League.

Guardiola: "Which team Messi plays for is the favorite for the Champions League."

This is the first time in two seasons that he has publicly praised Messi. As a heavyweight member of the Messi fan group, this is a long time.

So the reporter mentioned Batistuta again, wanting to know what kind of player Batistuta was in his mind and whether he could surpass Messi.

Guardiola: "Bati is great. I have no doubt that he will reach a very high level in the future. I love him. Although he still has some bad habits, it does not prevent me from liking this little bastard. Messi is phenomenal. What he has achieved is unprecedented. As for whether there will be someone better in the future, and whether this person will be Batistuta, I don't know, I hope so."

The head coach publicly expressed his love, which made Batistuta a hot topic even though he didn't even play on the court. Just when netizens were collectively climaxing, the person they were talking about drove to the home of the injured De Bruyne.

The first draw of the season, coupled with the injury from a flying tackle, the Belgian must be in a bad mood. Batistuta thought as he drove that he had to find a way to comfort him.

(End of this chapter)