[Football] Bad Boy Batty

After the happy movie night, the team resumed training the next afternoon. Of course, it was not high-intensity, but mainly physical therapy to allow the players to restore their physical functions.
Life is relatively relaxed now, but after New Year's Day and the New Year, the four fronts will be carried out simultaneously, and they will have no time to rest even if they want to.

Kyle Walker came to training today, not because he got up late or anything, but because he needed to be fully prepared to "get close to Batistuta". No matter why Stones didn't let him get close to Batistuta, whether it was because he liked Batistuta or him, it didn't matter. From the moment the other party made this suggestion, Walker had to do it.

So the question is, what is the easiest way to get close to someone in a football club?

It's a prank.

At least that's what Kyle Walker thinks.

Who can resist playing a prank on a good friend/good brother/good lover? The Manchester City full-back weighed the backpack in his hand with a devilish smile. It contained his important props, a pack of talcum powder, a pack of itching powder, and a tube of super glue.

These little gadgets will drive baby Batty to the brink of ecstasy.

However, as soon as he stepped into the corridor of the club, Walker ran into B席. The Portuguese was rushing to the gym in a hurry, looking like the sky was falling.

"What's going on?" Walker grabbed B's seat and asked, "Has the UK finally committed suicide by leaving the EU?"

As a Portuguese, B. Silva couldn't quite get this point. He was stunned at first, then he scratched his hair anxiously, pursed his lips again and again, and finally his whole face wrinkled.

"No, it was Batty," he explained hastily, "We got him scolded."

Kyle Walker: ?
"What do you mean? You can't just tell half the story. You need to tell us clearly who scolded him and what we did to deserve it."

"Look for yourself, Twitter is going crazy." B席 shook off Walker and continued on his way.

Walker quickly stopped him again, "I have to read it from the beginning. You know what's going on on Twitter, it's all over the place, how long will it take for me to figure it out?" He said, "You're going to look for Battie, right? So am I, and we're on the same way. Just explain it to me quickly, and it will be clear."

B thought about it and felt that what Walker said made sense, so he nodded, and the two of them walked to the gym together.

"It's because of the movie he showed us last night, Resident Evil 7." On the way, B Sean explained to Walker. He took out his phone and opened the album to show Walker his screenshots. "After the show ended last night, didn't Batty take a group photo of everyone? He posted that photo on his Instagram story. It was nothing special at first, but suddenly someone pointed out that the shot on the projection behind him was exactly the same as the trailer for Resident Evil 7, and then people went crazy."

Walker took his phone and looked through it. Apart from the screenshot of Batistuta's IG story, the rest were questions from netizens, mostly all in Portuguese, and he didn't understand many of them.

"So? Just because of this, those idiots on the Internet want to scold him?" Walker threw the phone back into B席's arms. "What's wrong with winning the game and inviting teammates to watch a movie? Is there a problem with this?"

Seat B hit him on the head.

"Think about it carefully. If it was a normal movie, would they be so angry?" The Portuguese maintained his usual tone. "Resident Evil 7 hasn't been released yet. The release date has just been confirmed. Thanks to Tobati, we can see the movie two months earlier! And you have to know that Resident Evil fans have been waiting for Edmundo to take the helm again for four years. Do you think they are angry?"

After hearing what B said, Walker realized the seriousness of the matter. He pursed his lips, pulled B together, and quickened his pace to the gym.

But the one who should be most worried seems happier than anyone else.

In the gym, Batistuta was listening to the dynamic song "Bum Bum Tam Tam" and practicing his goal celebration in front of the mirror. Jesus and Fernandinho were beside him. The three of them watched the moves in the MV and adapted them. Whenever this happened (rehearsing the celebration dance steps), the Brazilian gang would always get together.

There were quite a few other people there, including De Bruyne doing hip thrust exercises, Sterling riding a bicycle, Sane walking on a single-plank bridge, and Alandes, who was responsible for monitoring the physical conditions of several people in real time.

In short, the atmosphere in the room was not harmonious at all.

"Have a sense of crisis, please? You guys act as if nothing happened." Walker rushed over to turn off Batistuta's speakers, then crossed his arms and complained to the person involved, "Bernardo and I are so anxious, and you're practicing your celebration moves? You heartless Brazilian."

"Hey! Don't shoot me in the face!" Jesus glared at him.

"I'm not being trollish. I'm talking about Battie." Walker spread his hands. "He was almost eaten up by angry netizens, but he still had time to drag you guys to dance. Don't you think he is heartless?"

what!
Batty raised an eyebrow.

"I know what you mean," he said. "It's about the movie yesterday, right?"

Seat B at the back nodded. He was really worried (of course, he was also a little bit interested in the show).

"The insults were so bad that I couldn't even look at them," he said. "You and Edmundo were attacked for showing us the movie. Can we do something to remedy the situation?"

Batty smiled, patted Seat B's shoulder over Walker, then walked to the speaker and leaned lazily against it.

"That's not necessary," he said. "My godfather gave me the movie just to watch it. Everything was as he expected."

Walker and B Seat were both stunned.

"What do you mean?" Walker raised his eyebrows and asked, "Did he deliberately let you leak the information?"

"You could say that," Batistuta shrugged. "Rahim has just asked me about this, and the club's spokesperson asked me before him. Obviously, there is nothing to worry about. My godfather praised me for doing a good job this morning."

"How could this happen?" Seat B couldn't believe his ears. He was a little incoherent. "I mean, why would you do this?"

"It's probably the movie promotion stuff. It's released in two months, so it's the right time to publicize it all over the world." Batty stretched and put his finger on the switch of the speaker. "I don't know the details. You just need to know that this incident will not have any impact. Edmundo has been in Hollywood for so long, and the Netflix empire was created by him. He has figured out everything in it. Now, please make way. We need to continue rehearsing." As he finished speaking, Batty turned on Impression again, and Latin music filled the gym.

Walker and B Seat, who were pushed aside, stood together and looked at the Brazilian dancing in front of them. Suddenly, they felt an inexplicable sense of grief and indignation, as if they were back in high school, when they were looking forward to giving their □□ to the goddess in the class, but she didn't even look at it, turned around and threw it into the trash can and laughed at them. She already had a way.

Sterling got off his bicycle and put his arm around the two men's shoulders, looking like an experienced person.

"This is Batistuta. You newcomers need to adapt early." He said, "He always has a way."

……

Obviously Walker was not going to admit defeat. He called B Sean and concentrated all the pranks on Batty that were originally planned to be played over several days into one day. That kind of arrogant behavior of not taking them seriously must be paid for.

At first, Sean B was a little hesitant, holding the itching powder and not knowing whether he should sprinkle it on Batistuta's towel.

"You have to do this, Bernardo. Think about how he treated us just now!" Walker turned into a little devil and whispered in B's ear, "We care about him, but he ignores us and acts like it doesn't matter at all. Don't you get angry at all when you see this?"

"Angry, but not that angry." B Seat pouted and said, "Anyway, our ultimate goal is to get him out of the crisis. Now that the alarm has been lifted, it can be considered a good result."

"What's important is the process, the process!" Walker gritted his teeth and said, "That little bastard's attitude is really terrible. Tell me, if we encounter this kind of thing next time, should we still care about him?"

"Well, that depends..."

"I'm telling you, if we care about him, he will respond with this indifferent attitude. If we don't care about him, he will say we don't care about our teammates. Both sides are wrong."

B Seat imagined the scene Walker was talking about and couldn't help but shiver. The worst thing was that the itching powder on his hand was in an open state, and because of this shake, half of the bag spilled on Batistuta's towel.

"This is what a good brother is!" Walker patted B's shoulder vigorously, "Come on, let's play a prank to the end!"

Seat B who was forced to join the group: …

……

Later that day, Batty had his shoes stuck to the ground, had pink hair dye added to his shampoo and wiped himself with a towel covered in itching powder in a rage.

The anger buff is fully stacked.

Batty: "Kyle! Bernardo! You two are dead!!"

So after the training, B Silva lost his beloved beard, and all of Walker's casual clothes were thrown at the gate of the club. He could only pick them up with his naked butt, otherwise Batistuta would use a razor to make him bald like Silva.

The final result is——

Batistuta, B Silva and Walker were all injured, while the rest of the club watched a day of fun.

"I really love Batistuta, he's such a treasure." Aguero leaned on De Bruyne, holding his belly that was almost laughing. "Although I sympathize with his experience, I still have to say that he looks pretty good with pink hair."

De Bruyne curled his lips as he looked at the pink-haired Batistuta who was having a fight with Walker, and he agreed with Aguero's opinion in his heart.

……

The saying that the pinker the hair, the harder the football player. This saying was perfectly proven in the next two rounds of the Premier League.

Batistuta had a huge explosion, and Manchester City started a winning streak in the second half of September. First, they beat Watford 9-7 in the league, with Batistuta contributing two goals and one assist. Then they went to the Champions League and beat Eredivisie powerhouse Feyenoord 0-4 away, with Batistuta making four assists. Then they returned to the Premier League and swept Crystal Palace 0-5 to avenge last season. Batistuta scored one himself, assisted De Bruyne for a hat-trick, and also instigated an attack to get a penalty, which he generously gave to Sane, who has not yet started (scored) in the new season.

So far, Manchester City has remained unbeaten in the new season and is moving at a rocket pace on the road to breaking records.

But...

Being forced to dye his hair pink not only enhanced Batistuta's strength, but also increased his temper. In the second half of September, he quarreled with his opponents in almost every game, and even received a yellow card for jumping over a billboard and rushing into a crowd of fans to celebrate a goal.

Just like that, after receiving three yellow cards in a row, Batistuta not only broke the record for Brazilian foreign players' goalscoring in the history of the Premier League, but also successfully broke the record for the fastest one-game suspension for five yellow cards in the Premier League.

So after weighing the pros and cons, the English Football Association awarded De Bruyne the Premier League Player of the Month for September.

"This thing has a curse, you have to be careful with it, Kevin." Batty ruffled his hair and leaned over to whisper to De Bruyne, "Liverpool's Mane was the best player last month, and then in the game he just watched the ball and kicked Ederson off the field, causing them to lose 0-5."

De Bruyne ruffled Batistuta's hair and agreed verbally, but he didn't take it to heart at all.

As a result, he was in trouble.

(End of this chapter)