[Football] Bad Boy Batty

On the day when Manchester City played Southampton away, Batistuta stayed at the training base to recover. He was not included in the squad, and it happened to rain at Southampton, so he gave up the idea of ​​going to watch the game.

They will win anyway, whether they are there or not.

Aguero did start the game, but he has not played a full game since his return from injury. Guardiola wanted to use this game as an opportunity to help him find his form and see if he could be put in the second leg against Bayern.

10 minutes ago, Batistuta came out of the "prison", which is one of Manchester City's many high-tech houses. The temperature, humidity, and air pressure can be set. Players will simulate the most difficult time of the game to train in order to increase their physical strength. It originally had a very long and positively technological name, but the players prefer to jokingly call it "prison."

After getting enough rest, Burns, the person in charge of targeted training, took a barbell and began to guide Batty to do hip thrust training, which can exercise the players' thigh muscles.

This is Manchester City's gym, for healthy players to prepare for games. There are many kinds of equipment that ordinary fans are not familiar with, but the times are advancing, and today's football is also going further and further in its integration with technology.

In fact, this exercise is not called "hip thrust", but after Barty complained one day that he would become like Kim Kardashian because of this movement, everyone started calling it "hip thrust".

Burns was helpless about this, but the more he showed his displeasure, the more the players liked to call him that in front of him. As time went by, no one remembered the name at the beginning of the entire training.

"...49, 50. You did a great job, Batty." Burns patted Batty's calf. "That's enough. Get up and rest for a while. This is your last set of training today."

Barty threw the barbell away and lay on his back on the wooden floor. He looked at the ceiling and took a breath, then rolled to the mirror. The mirror covered the entire wall, leaving only about 10 centimeters of height at the bottom.

When Batistuta's right shoulder stopped against the mirror, De Bruyne pushed the door open and walked in.

He was not included in the squad today. Guardiola attaches great importance to the game against Bayern and must make sure his midfield general has a good rest and adjustment.

"Hey, Kevin." Batty turned and waved at him, then he lifted his calves and shook them back and forth. He pointed at his butt. "I just did hip thrusts. Look, are they a little more lifted than before?"

De Bruyne was helpless. He had just adjusted his feelings towards Batistuta and had overcome the difficulty of taking a shower with him after the game. The little bastard must have seen it, he thought, so he teased him like this.

"Yeah, they're a lot straighter than before," the Belgian midfielder replied. "You were almost better than Raheem."

Barty grunted as he lay on the floor.

“I don’t want to be like Raheem,” he said. “His butt is outrageous.”

De Bruyne didn't answer this. He greeted Burns, confirmed his training program for today, and then walked to the position where Batistuta had just been and started warming up.

Oh?
Is he going to do hip thrusts today too?

Batty got up and walked over. "What are you guys practicing?" He leaned on Burns' shoulder and asked, "Hip thrusts like mine?"

De Bruyne nodded.

Batty rolled his eyes and quickly glanced at the other person, then looked away.

"Yes, Kevin has three training sessions today." Burns flipped through the schedule and said, "But it's different from yours, Barty. He's going to push a heavier weight than you, 3kg."

"Why is he twice as heavy as me? I only weigh 2kg."

"Considering the flexibility and speed of a winger, I didn't give you a heavy weight. And the heavy weights must be matched with a healthy diet. It's a complete bodybuilder's configuration." Burns replied, "You don't need to gain muscle, so why are you pushing such heavy weights?"

Batty stuck out his tongue at him, accepting the explanation.

60kg.

Suddenly, he had a good idea.

"Stop pushing the barbell, push me," Barty said.

Burns: ?

De Bruyne: ? ?

"I weigh about the same as the barbell, 64kg this morning." Barty curled his lips. "I think it's only 4kg more, it won't crush you, our helmsman."

De Bruyne was so shocked that he couldn't answer Batistuta's question.

Let Batty stay on him instead of the barbell and do hip thrusts... just thinking about this scene...

He opened his mouth and closed it again, finally throwing the question to the person in charge of training.

De Bruyne: "Burns, you say it."

"Well, theoretically it is possible. There is not much difference between a 64kg man and a 60kg barbell." Burns replied dryly, "But this is beyond the scope of training. You can try a few, but it can never completely replace normal training."

Of course, Batty didn't think he could replace the barbell in the gym.

"What are you waiting for, Kevin, you're done warming up, let's get started." He patted De Bruyne's face, signaling him to get ready, "Get ready, I'm coming up."

Kevin De Bruyne swore that this was a scene he had never experienced in his more than 20 years of life, and he didn't even expect to experience it.

There is a weird illusion that my partner is forcing me to do something I love while others are watching me.

De Bruyne leaned on the stool and watched Batistuta come up to him with his unique smirk, grab his waist, then straighten his back and put his hands on his chest.

"Let's start. I'll count for you—"

Here are 15 of the longest hip thrusts in the world.

Of course, these are also the 15 hip thrusts that he most hopes to do forever.

"...9, 10, 11, come on Kevin, hurry up, hurry up!" Batty's face was the kind of innocence that pretends to know everything. While counting, he used his fingers to write the numbers on the Belgian midfielder's belly through his training clothes, "Use some strength, didn't you eat breakfast? Push."

De Bruyne: …

Still De Bruyne: I have never felt so cool about hip thrusting.

Burns, who was watching nearby, made the same expression as Max in "2 Broke Girls".

This picture seems more and more wrong the more I look at it.

……

After the exhausting hip thrust (referring to Burns and De Bruyne, Batistuta felt very happy), Batistuta and De Bruyne rode bicycles for a while, and finally, in order to quickly relieve muscle fatigue, they stayed in the "ice cellar" for 20 seconds. The "ice cellar" is another technological house in Manchester City, which can control the low temperature. As long as you enter it, no matter which tropical area near the equator you are, you can truly experience the coldness of the North and South Poles.

This is usually used by players the day after a match, but is occasionally used during training, albeit for a shorter period of time than after a game.

After coming out of the "ice cellar", today's training program was completed. They returned to the locker room. Batty was only wearing shorts. He pressed the muscles of his shoulders, took out his shoulder bag from the corner and began to change clothes.

"Today--" De Bruyne bit his tongue and said something meaningless: "There are surveillance cameras in the gym."

"So what?" Batty changed into an oversized long-sleeved shirt, shook his wet hair and asked, "So what if there are surveillance cameras? Did you do anything shameful?"

"No, I mean." It's not good for Pep to see.

However, De Bruyne couldn't say the second half of the sentence.

"Then why are you afraid of being seen?" Batistuta said as he put on his pants again. After unplugging his phone from the public charging port, he opened Manchester City's WhatsApp group chat. "Hey, the game is over. We beat Southampton 3-0. Kun scored 2 goals."

"Really? That's great."

The weird atmosphere did not disappear, but De Bruyne thought it was a good idea to change the subject, so he slowly walked to the closet and began to change his clothes.

Just as he put on the last piece of clothing, Batty's voice rang out from behind him.

"Emm, Kevin, do you know what 'cp' means?"

"What?" De Bruyne paused for a moment. He turned to look at Batistuta, who was frowning and looking at his phone. "I don't know. Try Google it."

Batistuta followed De Bruyne's advice, but when he knew the result, his brows furrowed even more.

This aroused De Bruyne's interest. "What's wrong, Batistuta, what does the 'cp' you just asked about mean?"

"Google says it's the abbreviation of couple, which refers to a fan-made pairing of lovers. It's a fictional couple formed by fans based on their own preferences." Batty replied in a strange tone, "Seriously, Kevin, why would anyone pair me and Pep together as a couple?"

De Bruyne:?
This is a lot of information, so he needs to take it slowly.

"You mean - some fans paired you and Pep as an imaginary couple?" De Bruyne asked incredulously, "Are you serious? Are they crazy?"

Batty responded with syllables that made no sense.

"Who knows what's going on in the fans' heads," he muttered. "Qiao Lin is the same. She insisted on editing this weird video and sending it to me."

Qiaolin?

A completely unfamiliar name.

"Who is that?" De Bruyne asked. "It sounds like a girl."

"Well, the Asian doctor who saved me last time, that's her father." Batty replied while typing, "We knew each other when we were very young. She is four years older than me. She graduated this year and is now studying Chinese culture like crazy. She plans to go back to her hometown for a graduation trip."

"…You sound very familiar."

"No, we lost contact for a long time. Recently, she saw my video on bili and we got in touch again." Batty said, shaking his phone. "Bili is a Chinese software, similar to YouTube. The video she sent me just now is from that software - do you want to see it? It's ridiculous."

De Bruyne walked over and Batistuta dragged the progress bar back to the front.

"Yes, I forgot to tell you that my documentary 'Out of Nowhere' was released a few days ago, and a lot of materials were used in it." He explained in advance.

The video begins.

Guardiola was being interviewed and the tone of the picture had obviously been adjusted, emitting a melancholy blue.

“没有任何人，任何人能比得上梅西。”瓜迪奥拉深情的对着记者说，“梅西就是世界上最好的9号10号11号7号8号6号球员。”

"He is the best. Without him, I would be the head coach of a Spanish Second Division team now." This is another bad interview of Guardiola. "They say Messi has privileges with me. I tell you now, it is true. He deserves privileges."

The scene changes to the door of Manchester City's locker room.

Batty flashed by with a bright smile.

"How dare this kid be late for his first training session? Not even Messi has done that."

Guardiola's complaining voice was processed and slowly disappeared. Then the music changed and the pictures began to switch rapidly. There were pictures of Guardiola holding Batistuta's face to encourage him before the start of the second half, and pictures of Batistuta running to the coaching seat with Guardiola's face full of doting after they scored. There were even a few intimate pictures of Batistuta sitting on the football during training and Guardiola bending down from behind to hug his neck.

The more De Bruyne looked, the more he felt something was wrong.

The video quickly came to the end, and it was a piece of news.

It is reported that on the second day of Manchester City striker Batista's 18th birthday party, head coach Guardiola went to his apartment in person to take care of Batista who drank too much the night before. After Messi, no one had ever received such care from him.

Attached are two photos of Guardiola leaving Batistuta's apartment.

"Before only Messi had the privilege, now Batistuta also has it"

De Bruyne: (Out of body)

"There are many more besides this. I am really worried about the mental state of these fans." Batistuta took back his phone. "There are other CPs, me and Akun, me and Messi, Akun and Messi, me and Neymar——"

"What about mine and yours?" De Bruyne asked. "Are there?"

Batty raised an eyebrow and laughed after a few seconds.

“Yes, of course,” he said. “If you want to see it, I’ll recommend the website to you. I heard there’s also an app.”

"Give it to me." De Bruyne nodded firmly.

He wanted to see how these guys would cut him and Batty.

(End of this chapter)