[Football] Bad Boy Batty

【Goooooooooal! Batistuta! Cancelo made a cross from the wing, Batistuta hit the ball directly without stopping, a beautiful volley, 1-1, Manchester City tied the score! 】

As the referee blew the final whistle, Manchester City ended its final game of 2021. In the last match of the Champions League group stage, the Blue Moon Army drew 1-1 with the Bundesliga powerhouse RB Leipzig away. Although the result was not very satisfactory, this draw still allowed Manchester City to enter the knockout stage as the group leader.

It is worth mentioning that in this game, Manchester City players wore their third away jersey of the season, which was rated by fans as "the worst jersey in history."

The shirt, which costs £70, was inundated with negative reviews on its first day of release at the start of the season.

"This is the worst jersey I have ever seen, bar none."
"Is this a casual T-shirt? Why doesn't it even have a team logo?"
"Even if it drops to £4.99 at the end of the season nobody will buy it, it will go in the bin!"

That's right, as the fans said, the design of this jersey is like a unified template, which has been used by many other teams sponsored by Puma, including AC Milan and Dortmund. The jersey design is exactly the same and does not reflect the characteristics of each team at all.

What’s worse is that, whether it was intentional or the designer simply forgot, this jersey does not have the team logo on the chest.

So much so that in Manchester City's 1-1 draw with Leipzig, after coming on as a substitute and scoring a goal, Batistuta wanted to kiss the team logo, but after pulling up his jersey and searching for a long time, he discovered that it was not there. In the end, Batistuta had to pout and do a short robotic dance to celebrate the goal.

"Hahahaha I saw it! God, you have no idea, the way you search your chest is like watching a comedy movie!"

In the screening room of the Etihad training base, Kyle Walker leaned his head out from the back row and leaned on the back of the front row chair, laughing like Donald Duck. By the way, he also reached out and slapped Batistuta's chest in a mean way while laughing.

Batty turned his head and rolled his eyes at him: "That's enough, Kyle, you've been laughing about this for almost three days, aren't you tired?"

"Not tired." Walker joked, "I think it's very interesting!"

"But seriously, that jersey is too shabby." Stones covered his friend's mouth and pulled him back. "No wonder the fans say it's the ugliest in history."

"Hmm, any of the ones in my closet look better than this." Batty brushed his hair. "I won't wear this to a game next time, or I'll be embarrassed to kiss the team logo but not be able to."

"What a coincidence, Batistuta." Seat B in the same row said from the side, "It's rare to see you kiss the team badge, and it's not easy to get this chance, but it's not on your jersey yet. Did you do it on purpose?"

"I think you did it on purpose!" Batty took out the jelly shell he had eaten from the groove where he put his water cup and threw it at the Portuguese. "Don't provoke me. You know the consequences very well!"

"What are the consequences, Barty, you are bullying Bernardo again."

Guardiola walked in while they were making noises. He was no longer surprised by these "bullying" incidents in the team. Sometimes it was really not that Batistuta wanted to beat someone up, but the opponent was just irritating enough and wanted to make him angry.

"Unbelievable!" The King of Manchester City first expressed his dissatisfaction with the coach's words, then deliberately snorted coldly and sighed with sarcasm: "Oh, men, their hearts are biased."

"Hahahahahaha!"
"Is that Batty? Really? It can't be an alien in disguise!"
"Hahahaha he sounds like a nagging woman!"

"WHAT??!" Batty turned around and showed his canine teeth to everyone threateningly, "What do you have against me?"

He was recently dragged by Qiaolin to watch a TV show called "Desperate Housewives". He didn't feel much about the show at first, but the more he watched it, the more interesting it became, especially the story of the Asian woman in the show, which was very much to his liking. If she were real, he thought they would become friends.

"Stop it, stop it, you guys, stop messing with him."

Guardiola stopped the players with a headache. For a moment, he thought he had come to the Monkey Mountain in the zoo.

"First of all, congratulations on your achievements in the league. With two more wins we will be able to move up one more place. Of course, this also depends on the result of Liverpool," he said.

When the league was mentioned, the screening room suddenly became quiet. This has always been a pain point in the hearts of Manchester City players. They were the undefeated champions last season, but this season they have been suppressed by Manchester United and even had to work hard to return to the Champions League zone.

"Don't think about the past. What we have to do now is to focus on the game at hand and do our best to win future games. The rest is up to God," Guardiola concluded.

"Next, let's talk about something happy, the Champions League." The head coach paused and continued, "I'm glad that we can qualify as the group leader again, and this is why we are gathered here today, for the knockout stage draw ceremony."

"Keep up the form you showed in the group stage," he said. "We are better than anyone else and we have a chance to reach the top again. And Batistuta, if you can continue scoring goals at this rate, you can break the Champions League goal record this season, which, of course, you also created."

Batty blinked. Breaking his own record sounded good.

"Hey, how many goals did you score?" Grealish asked, turning around.

"--Uh, 5? Or 6?" Batty bit his nails. "I didn't start in all the group matches, and there weren't any impressive opponents. I can't remember clearly."

"You scored eight goals," De Bruyne, who was sitting next to him, said. He remembered it clearly. "In four games, three as a starter and one as a substitute, you scored eight goals. That's why they said your efficiency reached a historical high and you may break the record again."

"Oh, thanks." Barty raised his arm and touched him. "I can't even remember it myself."

"Because you're an idiot." De Bruyne and Batistuta looked at each other, and then he laughed, "Who else can help you remember these boring things except me?"

They looked at each other, and there seemed to be pink bubbles floating in the air. In front of them, Neymar and Messi were sitting together chatting about something. Of course, he noticed Batistuta and De Bruyne behind him, but he no longer had as big a reaction as before.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m extra confident in myself or because I’ve lost interest in my former teammates.

Guardiola, who was standing in front of the screen and watching all this happen, could hardly control the twitching of his mouth. He didn't think of this when he agreed to Messi joining.

Fortunately, the live draw started at this time, otherwise the head coach was really worried that he would faint from a headache. He turned off the lights and watched it with the players.

The drawing process was boring, and the result was even more boring.

Since the top teams have not let down their guard this season, Manchester City's possible opponents are limited to those teams. If Batistuta were to choose, he would hope it would be Inter Milan.

But no, City's opponent is Sporting CP.

"Okay friends, I'm going to hibernate until the quarter-finals. Wake me up." Barty pretended to yawn.

"Don't underestimate the opponent." Guardiola criticized, "You don't know what kind of lineup they will arrange and what method they will use to deal with us. They are determined to win."

"My bad." Batty waved his hands and apologized insincerely. He reserved his own opinion on this matter. "In that case, let's talk about another matter." The king stood up and stretched. "Is there anyone willing to accompany me to the Golden Globe dinner next week? I have already written the speech."

Everyone:!
Have you written your speech?

Could it be that--

"Wait, Batistuta." B Silva called him, "Did you get the news?"

"Yes, the chairman called me personally." Batistuta raised his eyebrows at him, "Kevin knows (De Bruyne nodded) but Platini didn't say anything directly about the Ballon d'Or. He just thanked me for my opinion on the European Super League. You know I didn't like it from the beginning."

The Portuguese midfielder nodded.

But even so, it is basically certain that Platini would not call a player for such a trivial matter, especially at such a sensitive period. It is very likely that he is hinting at the final result.

"I think the top ten list was posted a few days ago." Walker took out his phone. "Kevin, Ney, Leo, I remember you were all here."

"Yes, but the chairman only called me, so--" Batty drawled out the last word. He stood in the middle of the seats in the theater and looked around at Vision. "Who wants to go with me?"

'Swish, swish, swish'

Nearly everyone raised their hands.

"You have to wear a dress." Barty added with a malicious tone.

then--

'Swish, swish, swish'

Almost everyone put down their hands, except for one, and he didn't seem to notice anything was wrong.

"Oh! Jack!" Batty held back his laughter and asked Grealish to stand up. "Would you like to wear the tuxedo I prepared and accompany me to receive the award as my male companion?"

"Yes, yes!" Grealish jumped up as if he had won a prize, not noticing that no one actually wanted the award. "I've never been to the Ballon d'Or before, and I'd be willing to go even if you asked me to wear a raincoat!"

"Well, don't worry." Batty patted Grealish's shoulder in a very pretentious manner. "I won't prepare a raincoat for you. They are all high-end and McQueen cuts them himself. I will find the one that suits you best."

……

On the evening of January 1, the 6 Ballon d'Or awards ceremony hosted by France Football magazine was held at the Chatelet Theater in Paris. A few hours in advance, Batistuta took Grealish to the banquet on a private jet.

Neymar expressed his dissatisfaction with this, but Batistuta shut him down with just one sentence: If you really want to be with me, you should have shown it when I asked.

On the way, Grealish was very excited, but his excitement was mixed with some nervousness.

Of course Batistuta didn't prepare a long skirt for him. Firstly, that would make poor Grealish be laughed at by opponents in future games. Secondly, there was not enough time. It would take more than 3 or 5 days to make a dress that perfectly fits his figure.

"What should I say, captain?" Grealish asked.

"Whatever you want." Batty shrugged. "You can say whatever you want. Don't be afraid of the reporter asking questions. He can't get anything out of you."

The England striker didn't realize the sarcasm in his words at all. He grinned in gratitude and then called his family and friends to share his joy.

Soon we arrived at the award ceremony.

No different from previous years, Batistuta was very calm. After being interviewed outside and signing autographs and taking photos with fans at the scene, he quickly walked into the theater and at the same time maliciously left the silly puppy he brought with him on the red carpet.

From behind the post, Batty saw Grealish looking for him in a daze, and he almost couldn't help laughing like a fool.

The King of Manchester City took out his mobile phone, ready to record the stupidity of his players and share it with everyone, but at this moment, a tray in the hand of a waiter attracted his full attention.

It was a plate full of dessert, the most famous French eclairs!
Moreover, if there was nothing wrong with his sense of smell, then what he saw must be chocolate with lava fillings.

Batty's eyes were wide open, but of course it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault.

Look at these beautiful little things!
Each one was only the size of his palm, and judging from the color, it was freshly baked, with a tangible delicious aroma. The skin was soft and crispy, and decorated with cream, fruit jam, and fruit slices. If you could take a bite -

So Batty instantly forgot about Grealish and followed the waiter in the direction he left. What was a bit strange was that the waiter walked very fast, and Batty could only concentrate on watching him so that he would not disappear from his sight.

Just like that, the King of Manchester City was seduced by a plate of eclairs and walked into the depths of the theater.

Gradually, the surroundings began to become empty. The waiter walked into a room and Batty followed him in. The waiter put the plate in his hand on the table and left.

Batty didn't care how the waiter disappeared. His eyes were full of those cute puffs. God knows how early he was woken up for this award ceremony. He hadn't eaten anything for almost a day, let alone dessert.

However, just as his fingers were about to touch the skin of the puff, a figure suddenly appeared and took the puff away before him.

Batty's eyes followed Puff.

Then he saw the puff being picked up and the frivolous smiling face of Augustus Rothschild behind the puff.

"Good evening, my greedy little leopard cat, see you again."

(End of this chapter)