[Football] Bad Boy Batty

"Manchester City will win the Champions League this season. This is not a promise, it is a fact. Not only the Champions League, but also the Premier League, FA Cup, League Cup, and the Super Cup next season, we will win them all. We have the strength. Everyone has seen it. So far this season we have not lost even a single game, so yes, we are not afraid of Dortmund and Haaland, we are creating a myth." - Batistuta - Champions League quarter-final pre-match press conference.

12 hours in advance, Guardiola led Manchester City players to Westphalia by plane. Unlike the UK, Germany has stricter epidemic policies. Standard N95 masks must be worn throughout the entry process. The whole team will undergo nucleic acid testing before and after the game. Players must maintain a control distance between each other, and fans are not allowed to enter.

"This is too much and totally unnecessary." In the hotel lobby, Batistuta sat on a suitcase with legs apart, pulling at his mask and complaining, "This is why I don't like Germans. They always make me feel like I'm in doomsday."

A few minutes ago he had personally experienced the Germans' strictness - just because he moved the mask from his nose to his chin when checking in, the hotel manager yelled at him as if he had let in some terrible monster.

"Hurry up, Barty, be civilized, everyone is watching us." Loach said to his boss's ear, "You were wrong just now. Manu told us the hotel rules on the bus. You should at least wait until you enter the room before taking off your mask."

"Am I your boss or is Manu?" Batty grabbed Loach's collar and hooked it around his neck, then spread his legs further apart, "Is there anything wrong with my posture?"

(“Wrong, wrong!” Loach patted Batty’s arm and begged for mercy.)
"The tattoo on your thigh is showing." De Bruyne walked over and said.

"So what? These pants are not shorter than the shorts." Batty pretended to be indifferent. "Why, do you still care what pants I wear, Kevin's mom?"

"Kevin is right. I can see your new tattoo from here." Guardiola came over with a stack of room cards and tapped Batistuta on the head. "No one cares what you want to wear, but you can't just expose your thighs. Who knows who's here? By the way, let go of my nutritionist. He's suffocating."

Batty finally let go of the loach: "Come on, do I look like I'm afraid of bad guys? You've known me for a few years, Pep, let them see, I have nothing to lose."

De Bruyne stepped on Batistuta's suitcase to prevent him from losing his balance: "Worrying about you being wrong, little bastard."

"Yes, but I don't like it." Batty hummed and shook his head, "You just lost me, Kevin." Then he raised his hand to the head coach, "I want to change my roommate, Pep, change me to a normal person!"

"Thank God, let's give this good opportunity to others." De Bruyne pressed Batistuta's head and said sarcastically, "It's time for others to feel your stinky socks and - Oh, hey!"

Before he could finish his words, Batty pulled the backpack in front of him and hit him several times using it as a weapon.

"I have to change my roommate today." Batistuta grinned at De Bruyne. He looked around, from Guardiola who was pinching his brows and sighing to Foden who was looking down at his phone and grinning. "Phil! I want him, Pep, I want Phil to be my new roommate!"

"What do you want to do?"
"Huh?"
"What??"

Three voices rang out at the same time, from Foden himself, Foden's roommate B席, and Batistuta's roommate De Bruyne. Guardiola was the same, but he didn't say anything, just asked with his eyes.

"God, wasn't I clear enough?" Batty jumped off the suitcase, stuffed the suitcase and backpack into Loach's hands, and then he took Foden's arm and walked towards the elevator. On the way, he casually took a door card from Guardiola.

"Uh..." The England striker was dragged away without even a chance to refuse (of course he wouldn't refuse if given the chance)
"Change it, Bernardo, today." The king waved his hand arrogantly, "It's decided. See you later, everyone."

After saying that, he and Foden disappeared in the elevator, leaving the three people, including the head coach, looking at each other in bewilderment.

"He, he - uh, he just -" B Silva's tongue was almost tied. He looked at Guardiola and then at De Bruyne. "Bati just stole my roommate like that! Aren't you going to do anything?"

"No plans, but if you want to do anything, go ahead," Guardiola said with a long sigh.

B席 didn't want to cause trouble for himself. He grumbled twice, "What's going on? Batistuta is too excited today."

"Because of Haaland." De Bruyne gave an affirmative answer, "If you want to blame someone, blame Kyle. If he hadn't reminded Batistuta that Haaland had broken his record, Batistuta wouldn't be like this."

"What does it have to do with me?" Walker heard De Bruyne's complaint from a distance. He jumped up and used exaggerated body movements to express his innocence. "That's the fact. Even if I didn't tell him, he could see it on his phone."

De Bruyne raised his eyebrows and did not give any further explanation, but from his eyes he still attributed the main reason to Walker's messy behavior.

Seat B rolled his eyes and made a face as if he was about to faint.

"What else can we do? He is the captain." Guardiola sighed again and distributed the room cards to everyone. "You chose the captain yourself, so you have to bear the consequences."

……

In the room, Batty picked the bed by the window. He threw himself on the bed and found the most comfortable position to lean on it. His cell phone was pressed under his butt, and he was too lazy to take it, so he could only find fun in the limited space in the room.

He looked at Foden who was in a daze in front of him.

"Why are you still standing there like an idiot? Are you waiting for the game to start?"

"Ah, uh." Foden's memory was still in the hall. He looked down at his forearm, and the touch there disappeared so quickly that he didn't have time to remember it.

"Phil?" Batty called his name. "Why, you don't like me? Well, I'll return you to Bernardo."

"No, no, that's not what I meant." Foden squeezed the strap of his backpack to calm himself down. He moved his legs to sit next to another bed and made a joke: "I was just thinking about what Kevin said just now. Is there anything I need to pay attention to as your roommate, such as helping you take off your shoes or making your bed?"

"Ha! If you want." Barty crossed his legs. "By the way, Phil, what were you watching on your phone?"

"you saw it?"

"Hmm, it's hard not to notice such a silly smile." Barty raised his chin, "Tell me, make me happy too."

"You wouldn't be interested." Foden put down his backpack and smiled a little embarrassedly. "It's my friend. He found a new fishing spot and gave me a set of fishing rods. We agreed to go fishing together when I return to Manchester."

"Oh, a friend," Barty repeated with a smirk, "I know that kind of friend."

"Oh no, no, no, no, that's not it." Foden quickly denied it. He took out his mobile phone to show Batistuta a photo. "This is my friend. He moved next door to my house when I was very young."

Batty looked over and saw a photo of a man in his 4s or 50s wearing a wide-brimmed hat and with a gray beard all over his face. He was holding a fishing rod in his right hand and holding a forearm-long fish caught at the top in his left hand. He was smiling happily.

Ah, not that kind of friend.
Boring.

"Then why are you grinning like an idiot?" Barty pouted. "A new fishing rod can make you happy for the whole day?"

Foden nodded. "I like fishing," he said. "Fishing is not as boring as you think. Well, it may be a little difficult at the beginning, but it will eventually get caught. All the waiting will pay off, and that gives me the thrill of hunting."

There is some truth to that.

"Well, I still don't understand." Batty blew his lips. "I prefer going to the nightclub to fishing in the river."

"Maybe you'll know when you try," Foden said. "How about Batistuta, come fishing with me?"

Batty gave a negative answer without hesitation.

"I'm not going unless you want me to bring two speakers on the boat." Batty lifted his legs, untied his shoelaces, and then casually threw them into the room.

At this time, Loach came over to give him his luggage. Batty complained that he came at the wrong time and jumped down barefoot to pack his things. Where he couldn't see, Foden was in a daze again.

'Kevin and Pep are right,' he thought. 'I can't let too many people see this.'

The scene in front of his eyes stopped when Batty raised his leg to untie his shoelaces. From his angle, he could clearly see the other person's more private parts. The honey-colored skin was covered with darker patterns, and there was a fresh pink around it, which made it difficult to look away and unconsciously wanted to peek more.

Batty: "You are daydreaming again. Why are you always daydreaming?"

"--Feel sorry."

"Let's go, let's do the nucleic acid test." Batty put on slippers and said, "We have a meeting later, let's go check out the swimming pool first."

Foden nodded and followed Batistuta out of the room.

'How on earth can I get him interested in fishing? ' the England striker thought.

otherwise--
Do you really want to bring two speakers to try it?

……

Later in the day, as the sun set and temperatures returned to relatively cooler levels, City made their way to Signal Iduna Park.

"——Don't be afraid, everyone. We are the strongest. Keep your faith, believe in yourself, and believe in every teammate around you. We have practiced this thousands of times. They want to play hard with us? Then we will play hard with them! Remember, we are not trying to create a myth, we are creating a myth!"

After delivering his pre-match speech, Batistuta clapped his hands and was the first to enter the player tunnel, where he finally met the hottest young man in football recently.

Erling Haaland.

Blonde hair and white skin, 7% similar to his father, but taller and stronger. At first glance, he completely fits Batty's stereotype of Nordic people, or Vikings (mostly from games).
He really looks like a stationary center forward, Batistuta thought. He is fast, strong, and certainly not very flexible. However, combined with Dortmund's highly impactful style of play, he might cause trouble for their midfield.

What did Pep say?

Batty narrowed his eyes.

Retreat, cooperate, position, transfer - he recalled the various meetings, big and small, that Guardiola had held with them before.

Regardless, this is bound to be a tough battle.

Perhaps because Batistuta's eyes were too straightforward, they quickly attracted attention. The mixed-race boy wearing Dortmund's No. 22 jersey touched Haaland's arm and motioned him to look over here.

Haaland turned his head and met Batistuta's eyes.

He didn't show any uncomfortable reaction. He smiled first, then waved to Batty naturally as if he was meeting an old friend.

Batty's smile deepened.

come on.

……

"Today we're using 20-cent coins." After Batistuta and Dortmund captain Reus exchanged team flags, the referee took out the coins and said, "You can choose now."

"I want the numbers." Batty spoke first, and then he looked at Royce.

Royce said he had no objection, "Then I'll be on the other side."

The referee tossed a coin.

“Numbers,” he said.

Batistuta was going to the south side where the light was better (a little better). "It would be interesting if the fans could come in, right?" he said to Reus, shaking his eyebrows.

"That's right." Royce held out his fist. "If they were here, you wouldn't have an easy time."

The two men bumped fists, posed for photos with the referee, and then returned to their positions.

[beep——]
With the referee's whistle, in silence, the first leg of the 20-21 Champions League quarter-finals between Manchester City and Dortmund officially kicked off.

(End of this chapter)