[Football] Bad Boy Batty

[Beep——]
"Hey."

"Oh my god, you finally answered the phone! One second I just signed a new contract with Puma, and the next second Rafina told me that you set off the whole circle. Tell me Batistuta, did you really let Kevin De Bruyne and the Real Madrid goalkeeper who had a grudge against him go to your house at the same time?"

"Relax Ney, they did meet at my house but the whole thing is nothing like what The Sun said, they just took some pictures and used them to make up a story."

"So what was this whole thing like?"

"It was simple. Kevin finally had a change of heart and was willing to let me take care of the jam. Tibbo came to thank me for saving him and asked me to go to the dock to get rid of the fries. Then they met. The scene was a bit ugly. He wanted to kiss me, but I dodged and kicked him out. Then he went crazy and took my potted plant and murdered it."

"Well, that sounds like a story you made up."

"It's weird, right? But that's it. The surveillance camera in my house captured everything. If you want to see it - when will you come back? You have already signed the contract, right?"

"Yes, you should be able to see the news in a few hours, [Neymar ends Nike contract and signs Puma] and so on. I am in London now, the plane is almost ready and I will go back to Brazil later. My mother hates the weather in the UK. I will come back in 3 or 5 days."

"Okay. Do you still want to see the video? I can send it to you if you're interested in their fight."

"Did they really fight?"

"real."

"So how are you, did they hurt you?"

"Oh you are such a sweetheart, no I'm not hurt, they can't hurt me."

"That would be best. I don't care what happens to them, whether they fight or not, as long as you're not hurt - Hey, they're calling me, my plane is ready, I'll find you when I get back, and then you can show me the video."

"great."

"That's it, bye, Meu amor."

"Bye, love you."

……

After hanging up Neymar's call, Batistuta threw his phone aside, turned up the TV volume with the remote control, and then lay back on the sofa, or to be more precise, on De Bruyne's legs.

The British version of the variety show "Love Island" was being broadcast on TV, and the guests were having a great time quarreling with each other. On the ridge of the sofa behind Batistuta and De Bruyne, the black cat Jam was lying there snoring. Not far away, Joline was sitting there cross-legged with a notebook in her arms, glancing at Batistuta with a half-smile in her eyes.

"Seriously, Meu amor?" she said in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, he started listening to Anitta's songs recently and he likes cheesy songs." Batty answered indifferently.

Qiao Lin opened her eyes slightly and looked at him, then looked at De Bruyne above. The Belgian midfielder did not react and was so calm that she thought he did not understand.

But obviously De Bruyne would not let this go easily. A few minutes later, just when Batistuta was enthusiastically betting on who would succeed in holding hands, he suddenly said something out of nowhere and in a weird tone -

"Love you."

"Hmm?" Batty looked up at him strangely, "Did you say anything Kevin?"

"Nothing." De Bruyne answered calmly, as if Batistuta had asked a stupid question, and he didn't even take his eyes off the TV.

Batty didn't notice anything unusual and soon went back to watching TV.

And a few minutes later, just as the show started to advertise.

"Meu amor." De Bruyne said again in a strange voice.

Since Batistuta heard it clearly this time, he looked at De Bruyne with a teasing look, and at the same time reached out and tugged at the buttons of his cuffs. His movement was a little too big, and the bell on his neck rang.

Yes, he hasn't taken off the collar yet.

"What did you say?" Batty asked.

"Nothing," De Bruyne said, shaking off Batistuta's hand. "You heard wrong."

"No, I definitely heard you right." Batty reached out to grab his sleeve again. "Are you being sarcastic, Kevin?"

"No." De Bruyne still shook off his hand and deliberately raised his arm to prevent Batistuta from easily pulling his cufflinks. "My sleeve is not a cat toy, don't pull it."

"I'm your cat, and everything I do is justified. Just bear with it, I'm the shit shoveler." Batty raised his chin. "Were you being sarcastic to me just now?" he asked again.

"No." De Bruyne refused to admit it. He sneered and muttered something, "Love you, bye."

"Ha, you're just being sarcastic!"

"I do not have."

"Admit it, Kevin. There's nothing shameful about this. At least you can understand it." Batistuta suddenly sat up and stretched out his hand. The cufflinks battle ended with the victory of the Manchester City king. "I didn't understand a word you said to Courtois yesterday." He said, "Do you want to hear me say 'I love you'? Of course, but you have to teach me how to say 'I love you' in Belgian?"

"Ha!" Qiao Lin on the other side let out a somewhat shrill laugh.

"Hey, why are you like that?" Batty raised an eyebrow at her, "What did I say? Why are you laughing?"

"She's laughing at you," De Bruyne responded mercilessly, "because there is no Belgian language, you idiot."

"What?" Batty was surprised. "Aren't you Belgian? You don't speak Belgian?"

De Bruyne reached out and flicked his forehead: "According to what you said, you are also Brazilian. Do you speak Brazilian?"

"...You stumped me." Batty instantly understood what De Bruyne meant. He made a face and asked, "What language do you Belgians use?"

"Dutch and French. Belgium has four language regions. The Flemish region in the north uses Dutch, the Wallonia region in the south uses French, and there is a very small German region in the east. Brussels is a mixed language area that uses all three. I've told you all this, Batistuta, how come you still don't know anything?" De Bruyne complained after explaining.

"You did, but we were just chatting and I was just casually asking about your past experiences."

"Chit-chat? You mean date?"

"Exactly! So I was just looking at you and thinking about where to start interrupting you to shut you up, and I didn't have time to listen to what you said, let alone remember them!"

"You are such an idiot. If all you want to do is strip me naked and sit on me, why do you ask me about my past experiences?"

"It's polite, I do it to everyone. Also, this is the second time you've called me an idiot today! What, are you going to act recklessly just because I forgave you?"

"I called you an idiot because that's what you are. You forgive me? That's ridiculous. Unbridled is a more appropriate word to describe you. Who said 'I love you' on the phone just now?"

"Oh my god! You're being sarcastic again, so childish!"

"I didn't, you are childish."

"No, it's you!"

"It's you."

"It's definitely you! Not only are you childish, you're also a pain in the ass, a megalomaniac, a weirdo who likes to say weird things, and an albino potato!"

"Hey, that's a personal attack, little asshole."

Batistuta and De Bruyne naturally changed from a harmonious relationship of hugging each other to a sweet bickering mode of sabotaging each other. In this mode, they both acted like they wanted to strangle each other, but at the same time they were able to show another attitude that was more intimate than before.

Such as now.

During the friendly discussion on the topic of "who is the fool", De Bruyne brought milk to Batistuta and urged him to eat all the pills prepared by the club. Batistuta removed the bell from his neck and made it into a new cuff to fix on De Bruyne's sleeve.

They made a scene for three full episodes of Love Island, and only stopped tacitly when it was almost dark.

Batty took out a tablet from a drawer and selected dinner. "It seems that there is a new chef here. What do you want to eat? Or - let them have their own way? Jojo?"

"Don't call me that." Qiao Lin said with a fake smile, "Please give me some dog food." "Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, I made a mistake." She closed the computer and touched her stomach. "I don't think I need dinner. Just now, someone in this room stuffed me with a lot of dog food. I'm full."

……

Joking aside, we still have to eat dinner.

Soon the new chef brought them a food truck full of delicious food. The food was both delicious in appearance and healthy in quality, but the taste - at least Buddy didn't like it.

The Manchester City king stepped on a chair and poked the potatoes on the plate with a fork in disgust. Then he took out his mobile phone to call for takeout. At this time, he saw new developments in the club chat group, so he turned to the group to check. Kyle Walker and Stones had swiped hundreds of messages. Batistuta spent nearly 10 minutes relying on the translator to understand what they were saying, mostly nonsense.

"Kevin." He kicked De Bruyne's chair. "Come and say something in the group. Since we--no longer want to kill each other, I think as the captain I have to let them know."

"You no longer want to kill me." De Bruyne waved his fork and said, "Be careful, I might strangle you to death when you fall asleep." Then he repeated what Batistuta said on the phone in a weird tone, "Love you~"

Barty rolled his eyes.

"If you say 'love you' again I'm going to knock over your plate and shove your face into the jelly," he threatened. "Come on, I mean it. You don't want them to know we're okay?"

Unexpectedly, De Bruyne shook his head: "Don't let them know yet."

"why?"

"Kyle and Bernardo made a bet about when we would reconcile."

"really?"

"Ah."

"I do not know how."

"I didn't know before, but I overheard Kun and Nico talking. Nico is leaving this year, and he wants him to make some extra money before he leaves." De Bruyne intentionally or unintentionally took the pink raspberry jelly in front of him and ate it. "From what I know, most people have participated, and more than half of them have put their money on this holiday."

"Caralho!" Batty cursed. "What a bunch of bastards."

"Listen to me." De Bruyne knocked on the jelly cup, "I also pressed it, 3 pounds, and asked Zinchenko to help me press it."

"When did you press it?"

"I picked a time that no one would guess," De Bruyne said, "so at least don't let them know before the new season."

Batty bit the spoon and thought for a while, "Give me half and I'll keep it a secret for you."

"30%."

“No, 60 percent.”

"40%."

"That's 70%."

"Okay, I'll give you half."

"No, I changed my mind. I want 80%."

"——Why don't you go and rob?"

"90%."

"You might as well let me give it all to you."

"make a deal."

De Bruyne narrowed his eyes.

"Look." Batty raised his head proudly: "Who is the fool now?"

De Bruyne is actually very good at bargaining, but when he meets an unreasonable bastard like Batistuta, all his skills are useless.

But he doesn't want to admit defeat yet.

"This is your last chance, Batistuta. I'll give you half and you don't tell anyone (about our reconciliation)," De Bruyne said.

Batty pretended to think about it, then shook his head firmly. "I'm like the National Bank and the Ministry of Finance. Don't expect me to spit out what I've taken in."

"Well, I gave you a chance." De Bruyne said in a regretful tone, rolling up his sleeves and looking like he was going to do something big.

"What do you want to do?" Batty asked vigilantly.

"What to do?" De Bruyne stood up and walked towards Batistuta, imitating the stylish villains in movies and TV shows. "Now, try this--"

He grabbed Batty's shirt and pulled him off the chair, then bent down and hugged Batty's waist backwards and lifted him up. Due to the large and rapid movements, several empty bowls were affected and fell down.

"Ah! Cheating!" Batty waved the spoon and struggled on De Bruyne's shoulder, "Let me down!"

"Do not."

"Let me go! Otherwise I'll make you pay!" He hit De Bruyne's head with a spoon and threatened, "There's a movie called 'The Man Killed by a Spoon'. I can send you to star in the second part!"

"No." De Bruyne carried Batistuta and started to circle. "You have to pay the price for your blackmail."

"Hey! Watch out!" Qiao Lin took the soup off the table just in time, so that it wouldn't be kicked off by Barty. After glancing at the two with disdain, she sighed, "Childish little boys."

……

Soon the situation between Batistuta and De Bruyne escalated. They moved their positions from the dining room to the bedroom to continue the quarrel. Qiao Lin took over the tablet and asked people to pack up. At this time, Batistuta's left behind mobile phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was the security manager. She answered it.

"Buddy's not here, what's up?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, I'll call him later to explain," the person on the other end said after a moment's hesitation.

"It may not be possible later, probably tomorrow." Qiao Lin said, "What is it? You can tell me first and I will help you convey it."

The person in charge thought about it and agreed.

"He called me this morning to ask about what happened yesterday and why Courtois was allowed in," he said. "My people said he didn't go in alone."

Qiao Lin was stunned: "What do you mean?"

"He showed up a few minutes after De Bruyne drove in. He told the guard on duty that he was in the same car as the one in front and that he had just received a call from Batistuta so he didn't catch up. To prove what he said was true, he showed the call records to Bobby, who was on duty at the time. It was indeed Batistuta's number, as well as photos and news about the match between Manchester City and Real Madrid. He said he came to thank Batistuta and give him a surprise." The person in charge said, "I'm sorry, this won't happen again."

Qiaolin was stunned.

She remained in shock until the call ended.

That is to say-
Courtois knew that De Bruyne was inside. His surprise was all fake, and he successfully fooled Batistuta and The Sun, which is famous for reporting gossip.

"Oh my God." Qiaolin cut a piece of beef and put it into her mouth.

It's really wonderful.

She is now looking forward to the follow-up.

(End of this chapter)