[Football] Bad Boy Batty

Niqiu Yang came at a very bad time. Batistuta had to put down everything he was doing to take care of him, which not only delayed the plan for De Bruyne, but also directly led to him being kicked out of the first group to return to the stadium for training. What's worse is that from the day Niqiu was diagnosed, Batistuta had to be isolated at home for 72 hours and cooperate with 3 nucleic acid tests to confirm that he was not infected and regain the qualification to train.

Today is May 5th, the first day that Manchester City resumed training, and it is also the second day that Loach was confirmed to be infected. Given that the current hospital does not have a good treatment plan and Loach himself does not want to leave, Batistuta hired a professional nursing and medical team to come to his home to help him at a high price.

The entire floor was filled with fully armed medical staff, and there was moving white everywhere. In a trance, Batistuta thought he had come to Real Madrid's home stadium again.

"If it weren't for you, I would be breathing the free air at the Etihad training ground right now, instead of sitting here with someone stabbing me in the throat with a stupid little stick. It's really stupid."

Batty's testing doctor took the swab out of Batty's mouth and put it into a small bottle. Batty's complaints became clearer. He stuck out his tongue and put his hand in front of his throat and made a retching gesture to express his disgust. The testing doctor paused, and Batty noticed the other party's action, so he cleared his throat and returned to normal.

"No offense, sir. I'm just a little upset." Batty smiled at the doctor. "Thank you for your hard work. Would you like something to drink?"

"No need." The doctor was very cold. He packed up his things and went to test Qiao Lin next to him. "We are not sure how the virus is spread yet. We should try to reduce physical contact with people. Inviting people into the room, eating with the same utensils, sex, kissing, and even shaking hands and hugging can all lead to infection. Please be vigilant. This is what we can do to alleviate the spread of the epidemic at present."

hiss--
Batty narrowed his eyes imperceptibly.

Why did he feel that there was something deeper in the words of the doctor who came to examine him? Was he too sensitive?
Before Batty could figure out what was going on, the doctor's words made Loach feel extremely guilty. His voice of repentance, accompanied by coughing and electromagnetic waves, came through the screen: "I'm sorry, Batty, I shouldn't have sneaked out."

Because his room was isolated, Batty and Qiaolin could only video chat with Niu Qi through a laptop. Niu Qi was lying on the bed in the room with an infusion tube inserted in the back of his hand, an instrument for detecting heartbeat on his fingertips, and an oxygen mask hanging at the head of the bed. The laptop was fixed on a robotic arm in front of him and was operated by him himself.

In Loach's words, the new coronavirus is like an upgraded version of the common cold. It makes people feel uncomfortable, but it won't affect their movements too much.

"You should be ashamed! Repent more, otherwise God will not forgive you." Batty was still annoyed about not being able to go to training, and Loach's words made him even angrier. It would have been fine if he hadn't mentioned it, but since he had mentioned it, Batty had no reason to hold it in.

It was okay to sneak out, because getting infected wouldn't be unforgivable, but the reason why Loach sneaked out was unacceptable to Batty.

He poked the nose of the loach on the screen with his index finger and questioned: "I can't believe that you ignored the lockdown order and sneaked out to see your ex-girlfriend, the damn vegetarian who wanted to go to the stadium to promote vegetarianism!"

Yes, it was his dear ex-girlfriend who infected Loach with the new coronavirus.

Just yesterday, doctors arrived at the scene and conducted multiple rounds of tests on everyone at the scene and arranged for isolation. They then traced the source of the infection. Because Loach had been staying at home for the past two months, generally speaking, the possibility of him being infected was less than 10%, so it was very important to find out what he had been exposed to and became infected.

Under the doctor's questioning, Loach finally told the truth.

On the morning of May 5, when Batistuta was participating in the club's online training and Joline was still sleeping, he received a call from his ex-girlfriend and after less than 17 minutes of ideological struggle, he decided to sneak over to talk to her.

Ju Niqiu himself admitted that he took off his mask after entering his ex-girlfriend's house. His ex-girlfriend had a mild cough, and her father - he coughed as if he was about to vomit out his lungs.

"I realized something was wrong at the time and left after not staying for too long. I thought nothing would happen in such a short time," Loach said. "I didn't expect I would still get infected."

"Didn't expect it? Didn't expect it?!" Batty's eyes widened. "Don't use that excuse. We all know you couldn't have not expected it. You don't care at all. You think you are so powerful that a virus won't do anything to you. Have you ever thought about the possibility that Qiaolin and I might be infected by you? Have you ever thought about how today's training would go if I failed? You only think about your ex-girlfriend who eats grass. What's going on? Did you inherit the love brain from Qiaolin?"

"Hey! Don't drag me into this." Qiao Lin patted Batty's arm to defend herself. "Last month, the scumbag changed 5 numbers to call me, and I blocked them all."

"Look, this is the right thing to do!" Batty put his arm around Qiaolin's shoulder. "No matter what the reason is, when your ex calls you, the best thing to do is to call your friends and turn on speakerphone so that everyone can have fun together."

"I'm sorry." Loach was speechless at this time.

"If apologies worked, I wouldn't have an extra gun barrel tattoo on my body, don't you think?" Batty pulled his mask and spoke sarcastically, deliberately bringing up something that happened many years ago to provoke him.

Loach lowered his head, looking extremely annoyed. Qiao Lin was a little worried, and quietly pulled Barty's sleeve, asking him not to be so mean. Barty quickly glanced at her, snorted, and let Loach go for the time being.

"You'd better pray that I'm not infected," Batty said, "otherwise when I get to your place (isolation area), I'll make you pay!"

……

Fortunately, Batistuta was not infected and 72 hours later he was allowed to return to the training ground with the last group of players for the first training session.

Before 22 o'clock in the morning on the 8nd, Batistuta drove to the club. This was the earliest time he had come to attend training, and of course the happiest time. He almost danced out of the parking lot while singing praises to Jesus loudly.

According to regulations, before entering the building, the players also need to undergo a short test. The medical staff will poke the swab into their noses and wait for about 15 minutes for the results to come out. If it is negative, you can enter the first-team building, but if it is positive or uncertain, you can only test again or go home directly.

While waiting for the result, Aguero happened to drive up. Batistuta, who hadn't seen any living people other than Loach and Joline for almost two months, greeted him warmly. Aguero got out of the car, and the two of them jumped and screamed facing each other, waving their hands like children. If there hadn't been staff watching, they would probably have hugged each other.

"You know, Kun, I haven't looked forward to a training session as much as I did today since I was 10 years old," Barty said. "This virus is really damn bad."

Aguero strongly agrees with this.

"Where's Loach?" he asked. "I heard that people infected with the coronavirus will lose their sense of taste. How is he?"

Batty shrugged. "He can't taste anything. He'd believe you gave him a bar of soap and told him it was butter."

"Poor thing." Aguero shook his head and sighed.

"Don't feel sorry for him, he's just a jerk who couldn't help but go looking for his ex-girlfriend." Batty sneered and crossed his arms. "If he could stop his lower body from controlling his brain, this wouldn't have happened. He brought this upon himself - you still remember his ex, right?"

“Yeah.” Aguero whistled. “After all, not everyone can come up with the magical idea of ​​promoting vegetarianism in the stadium.”

The two chatted for a while.

Suddenly, Aguero seemed to have thought of something mysterious and hooked his finger at Batistuta, motioning him to come closer and listen to his whisper.

"What's the matter?" Batty leaned over.

"I don't know if you've heard that when using a throat swab for nucleic acid testing, the person holding the swab can tell through your throat whether you've given oral sex to someone recently," Aguero said quickly in a low voice.

"Is this true?" Batistuta was shocked. He opened his eyes wide and asked the Argentine striker for confirmation, "Can they see this?"

"Of course." Aguero said seriously, "It is said that there will be marks on the throat after oral sex. If you tilt your head at a high enough angle and they look carefully enough, they can easily see it."

Batty remained frozen in place in a surprised posture.

Oh.
This also explains why the words said by the doctor who went to his home to conduct nucleic acid tests on him that day did have another meaning. His feeling was not wrong, and he was not too sensitive.

"And if you don't clean it properly or the time is too short, sperm will be detected in the test tube," Aguero added.

"Fuck." Batty couldn't help cursing, "Privacy! Damn it, I feel like I've been stripped naked."

Aguero wanted to pat him on the back to comfort him, but because of the epidemic isolation law, his hand stopped halfway and finally retracted. "Don't think so, dear, we don't have privacy anymore." He said generously, successfully receiving a "horrified" look from Batistuta.

"Really, I'm not lying to you." Aguero continued, "The club's physiotherapists know us best, even better than parents and children. They know exactly what you did last night, how much alcohol you drank, what time you went to bed, and even what position you used."

"Aren't you kidding?"

"No." Aguero made a helpless gesture. "Oh, by the way, we just talked about the possibility that using a throat swab could reveal your recent oral behavior. Alandos told me that dentists know everything before anyone else."

Damn, that's damn right.

When you go to the dentist, you lie down with your mouth open, and the dentist has a professional light, and he or she has to use forceps or his or her hands to operate in your mouth. He or she is closer to your throat than anyone else.

"Un-fucking-believable!" Batty squatted down with his head in his hands and groaned in pain. Just now, his brain was spinning rapidly, trying to remember whether he had ever gone to the dentist after oral surgery in the past few years, and he sadly discovered that he couldn't count the number of times he had done so.

At this time, someone came up to him. In the Manchester sky, faint sunlight was shining down, and he was shrouded in a not very thick shadow.

Batistuta thought it was Aguero.

"I think I need to slow down," he murmured, as if he was talking to himself or confiding in someone else. "My brain has been exposed to too many new things since the outbreak, and has been bombarded too many times. Maybe it's my bad luck. Damn 21 years old."

'Aguero' didn't say anything, just listened to him quietly.

"It's not a big deal to be found by the dentist, or I don't care, I can even joke about it, but it's annoying, you know?" Batty complained, "It's like a feather in your clothes, it won't hurt at all but it will make you feel itchy."

'Aguero' still didn't speak.

"Uh, Batistuta." Aguero's voice sounded from another direction. Batistuta looked over suddenly and saw that the other party kept winking at him.

If Aguero is here, who is in front of him?
Batistuta looked up and met De Bruyne's calm eyes. He blinked, smiled and waved while squatting, "Hi Kevin, how are you doing?"

De Bruyne ignored him and took two steps back when he stood up.

"What's wrong?" Batty asked.

"It's nothing, just keep a safe distance," De Bruyne said.

"Oh." Batty looked at him, "Then why are you standing here? The parking lot is huge."

"I like being here," De Bruyne added, before retorting: "Can't I be here?"

"Of course." Batty continued to look at him, and at the same time, he quickly decided whether to reach out to stop the fight. After a long while, he decided to apologize for teasing him in the live broadcast of the game a few days ago. "About that game--"

"Stop." De Bruyne interrupted him. "I don't want to hear any explanations."

"I haven't said anything yet."

"I know what you want to say, so don't." De Bruyne's tone was harder than stone. "Your live broadcast caused me a lot of trouble. It leaked my account. After you left, I received tens of thousands of friend requests and harassment messages."

"I'm very sorry."

"No, you're not sorry at all, you're just being perfunctory," De Bruyne said. "You don't care about me, you don't care about anyone, you do whatever you want, why, because in the end everyone will love you as always, just like me, after all you did, the first thing that came to my mind when I thought of you was what you would do after you died."

ha?
A circle of question marks appeared on Batty's head.

He thought De Bruyne came to argue with him, and of course the first half of the sentence did sound like he wanted to argue, but in the end, what was the purpose of that hysterical, crazy confession at the end?
"I hate myself for loving you, I do, I really do." De Bruyne ended his words with a summary.

Batty looked at him for a while, the corners of his mouth raised, revealing an expression that was neither a smile nor a smile.

"I didn't know you liked this style of music," he said.

"I don't," De Bruyne retorted. "I hate it."

"I know, I know." Batty crossed his arms. "So you had to keep your distance from me today just to tell me this?"

"Yes." De Bruyne admitted, "And not only (this), there is one more thing I must tell you."

"What."

De Bruyne took a deep breath and said, "You will never see jam again in your life."

"wt——"

After saying that, he didn't care how crazy Batty was behind him, and walked straight to the other side of the building, holding his coat and waiting for the result.

……

When it comes to the cat Jam, Batistuta obviously will not give up easily. He followed De Bruyne and launched a new round of battle for the custody of the cat while keeping a safe distance. He did not give up until his test results came out and the medical staff told him that he could go in.

From a distance, Aguero watched everything happen.

He smacked his lips, his eyes swept between Batistuta and De Bruyne several times before finally landing on De Bruyne. He had reason to suspect that Batistuta didn't understand what he had just said.

To sum up, what De Bruyne meant was: Batistuta, you are an idiot, I hate you, but more than hating you, I hate myself more for being unable to extricate myself from loving you.

Damn it.

Aguero emptied his lungs of the last bit of oxygen.

The atmosphere of entanglement that was unwilling to let go was really wonderful, and seeing them refusing to give in to each other, for a moment, he really wanted to hold down each of their heads and let them kiss first and then make peace.

(End of this chapter)