[Football] Bad Boy Batty

"Oh~ He's really a nice guy."
"I never dreamed that he would be the one to help me in the most difficult time!"
"If we weren't derby opponents, I would love him!"

Amid the weird shouts and teasings from the Manchester City employees around him, Batistuta walked from the parking lot to the gym with a fake smile on his face. From the security guard at the door to the receptionist at the front desk, from the nutritionist to the various coaches, everyone couldn't help laughing and teasing at the sight of Batistuta.

Open the locker room door.
Batty's thoughts: 1, 2, 3 -

Just as he expected, before he could count to four, the room erupted in laughter, as if they had entered a vicious circle, with the same jokes repeating over and over again, each time like old red wine being poured into a new glass (the medicine remains the same, the soup changed).

Annoying.
Batty rolled his eyes, smacked his lips, and gave everyone the middle finger.

If nothing unexpected happens, this situation will continue for another 3 or 4 days. The reason is the same as why he became a hot topic.

Because of Lingard.

Just two days after the Manchester derby ended, Lingard, who was in great form, accepted an exclusive interview with the BBC. In this interview, the Manchester United star talked about the low period from the middle of last season to the beginning of this season for the first time, and finally revealed those unknown difficulties to the outside world.

"It was a difficult period for me. I know the fans are disappointed with me. I am not the kind of person who likes to talk about things. I think it is my business and others should not bear it. But recently the situation has improved, both for me and the club, so I think it is time to tell the fans. "

"My family was going through some bad things during that time and it made it hard for me to concentrate on the pitch and therefore it was hard for me to perform at my best," Lingard said.

He then told reporters about his mother who suffered from depression, his grandfather who was battling cancer, and his younger brothers and sisters who needed his care.

During the narration, he especially thanked Batty.

"I was on my way to the hospital to visit my grandpa that day. The team had just lost the game and I had played badly. Unfortunately, my car broke down on the way," Lingard said. "Then I met Batistuta, who was different from what people saw on the Internet. He was very nice, kind and gentle. He invited me in the car and took me to the hospital."

"I told him my story and asked him not to tell anyone else, but obviously, Batistuta ignored my request," Lingard smiled at reporters.

"The club soon found out about my situation and they did everything they could to help me. That was the first time I knew what it felt like to have the whole world behind me."

"Augustus later told me that Batistuta helped find the best doctors and teams, and also covered most of the expenses. During that time, he also persuaded all the media and most of the reporters not to report anything related to me."

"I really, really appreciate his help. If we weren't opponents on the field and he was a girl, I think I would fall in love with him and marry him without hesitation."

At the end of the interview, Lingard playfully joked to the reporter, and it was this joke that pushed Batistuta into the abyss of being laughed at by the entire club.

"If we are not opponents, I will definitely marry him home!" Walker pinched his throat and said to Batty in a mean voice, twisting his body a few times after saying it, "She is beautiful, has a good figure, and is rich. Except for her bad mouth and the tendency to grab people at any time, she is simply the dream lover of men all over the world!"

"Don't mention men. If you have these conditions, women will fall for you too!" B Sean also took over the conversation and teased. He adjusted his tie and imitated Walker's shrill voice: "I'm Batty. Everyone in the world wants to climb into my bed. Excuse me, sir, are you in love with me? Are you willing to marry me?"

"Ah——" Walker made an exaggerated fainting gesture, and then imitated the coquettish look of a high school girl and excitedly fanned herself, "My heart has gone with you, I am willing, I am very willing!"

In front of Batty, Walker and B席 staged an eye-catching drama from proposing to exchanging rings to complete the wedding in the church. Of course, they stopped at the step where the groom kissed the bride.

Batty: ...
Batty: The fist is hard

Before the King of Manchester City turned into a thug and massacred the corridor of the club, Walker and B Silva ran away screaming. Their laughter lasted for a long time, until it could no longer be heard. Batistuta rolled his eyes fiercely at the empty corridor.

"puff!"

Batty turned his head and looked towards the source of the sound with sharp eyes.

It's Neymar.

Seeing Batty's unfriendly look, he covered his mouth and coughed a few times, waved his hand and became serious again, but no matter how he hid it, the smile in those eyes that looked at everyone affectionately was about to overflow.

"What are you looking at!" Batty shouted angrily.

"Nothing." Neymar pursed his lips, then couldn't help it anymore, raised the corners of his mouth and teased: "If I don't look at you, how can I imagine what you would look like if you were a girl?"

Batty: ?
"Neymar Júnior!!" Batistuta was furious. "You wicked bastard!!"

Neymar protected his head, and when Batistuta rushed over to hit him, he bent down and lifted him up. Batistuta's feet were off the ground, and Neymar led him around in the corridor. The two of them were in a mess, and from a distance they looked like a strange conjoined giant.

"I'm just thinking about it, just thinking about it! Don't hit me - oh, why can't I just think about it?"

"Sure! Why not!" Batistuta clung to Neymar like a sloth, panting and clenching his fists. "If you dare to think, you must bear the consequences. Come on! Let Batistuta treat you to a delicious fist!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Ever since Sane transferred to Bayern, these two Brazilians have been the noisiest in the club, and with their fights, the entire Etihad training base is filled with their voices.

At the end of the corridor, Guardiola leaned half of his body out.

Looking at the two people over there whose combined worth is nearly 5 million Euros but whose behavior is as childish as that of little kids, the head coach smiled helplessly and shook his head.

Just make a fuss and vent. The team has been losing streak, so it’s time to adjust my mood, he thought.

Soon the head coach withdrew himself.

After the happiness, he had to continue to worry about the central defender.

……

In order to divert people's attention, Batty planned to make a bigger fuss. He found a barber to remove his dreadlocks and then gave him an even weirder afro.

Indeed, this hairstyle immediately attracted people's attention as soon as it came out.

But when he returned home that night, Qiaolin grabbed his collar and cried heartbreakingly, begging him to change it back like crazy.

"Why are you so desperate to get this afro, Batty! Really, this thing doesn't fit your aesthetic at all! It's to the point where it would really explode without a face to hold it up, baby!!"

whatever.
Having the nerve to support it, I can be willful.

Batty trained and competed with that big fluffy mushroom on his head. After a week of wailing about it on forums all over the world, he finally changed back to his original refreshing straight boyish hair.

On the day when he took a photo of his new hairstyle and posted it on Instagram, his fans celebrated as if it was a holiday. No one mentioned Lingard's desire to marry him.

Batty was satisfied.
The fans were satisfied.

A world where no one gets hurt.

"Really? I quite like your hair." Lucas said with regret, and then he put his hand into Batty's hair and rubbed it, "I miss the touch of that curly-haired dog!"

Today is a training day, but it is also the day of the Champions League draw. The players gathered in the lounge waiting for the UEFA live broadcast to start on TV.

Batistuta occupied the single sofa which was recognized as the most comfortable, Lucas squeezed into the empty seat next to him, and Neymar sat on the armrest of the sofa on the other side.

"No, no, no, Luki, if you miss it, it means your aesthetic needs to be rebuilt," said Aguero, who was sitting on the pool table. "No one in the room liked it. When Batistuta walked in with that hair, we just wanted to stay away, even Bernardo."

"What do you mean 'even Bernardo'?" Seat B, who was sitting on the ground, protested.

"Really?" Walker at the door laughed loudly. "Can you find anyone in the whole club who is dressed worse than you? I mean everyone, including the players, coaches, and even the uncle in charge of cleaning up the garbage. Oh, except Batty with the afro."

"Hey!" Batty raised an eyebrow at him, "Why are you bringing this up with me again?"

"Of course there are people who are worse than me. I'm just not fashionable, not completely ugly." B pointed at Zinchenko, "He's much worse than me. Has anyone seen his rap video?"

"Hahahaha! There are in the group! Batistuta pushed it to me on the first day I arrived!" Neymar held his stomach and laughed until tears came out. "You are right, Bernardo. In terms of fashion, Zinchenko is indeed much worse than you!"

"No way!" Zinchenko jumped up, "Don't you think that's cool? And I didn't go there to take the photo. I just took my phone and recorded it for my own amusement!"

"Oh come on!"
"We all know that you carefully planned that MV, my friend, don't lie!"
"There's nothing to hide about being stupid, really, it's just - poof!"

Before the conversation started, everyone was chatting casually about all kinds of strange topics. As professional football players, most of them had little education, so when they talked, there were always some points that ordinary people would never think of. Sometimes they could talk about a very small point for most of the day, just like a group of older children.

The advertisement ended, and as the familiar melody sounded, UEFA President and today's draw guest Schweinsteiger appeared on the TV screen.

Guardiola pushed the door open muttering.

"Hi, Pep." Batistuta raised his hand lazily and greeted him. "You're almost late. This is not like you."

"No one told me to move." The head coach folded his arms and leaned on the pool table. "I waited in the screening room for 10 minutes. If Mikel hadn't sent me a text message, I would have waited stupidly."

"Didn't I tell you this a long time ago?" Batty asked. "I posted it in the group chat. You must have missed it."

"Impossible," Guardiola retorted. "I even looked up the news from the day before yesterday and no one said the draw would be held in the lounge."

"--Oh, I'm so stupid." Batty slapped his head in a pretentious manner. "The notice was indeed sent, but it was not sent to the big group. We have a small group for players, and Brian (locker room manager) is also there. He must have told the coaching staff, but you were in the office all morning, so I didn't have a chance to tell you."

Guardiola gave the little bastard a doting 'you're being unreasonable' look.

The UEFA President's speech on TV finally ended and the draw officially began.
Schweinsteiger reached into the glass jar and pulled out two small balls, then slowly opened them.

The first group of opponents are Dortmund and Paris Saint-Germain.

As for Dortmund——

"Did anyone read the Daily Sports news a few days ago? The guy who scored 6 goals in 8 games seems to be joining Dortmund." Walker said, "I swear, if his team can qualify, he will definitely steal your Champions League Golden Boot this season, Batistuta."

Batty shrugged it off.

"I know him, Erling Haaland, whose father was a Manchester City player. I searched for him on the day he won the Player of the Week award. Obviously, he is just a traditional forward with strong physical fitness, a low-profile Ibrahimovic."

“Is the evaluation so low?”

"Yes, it's that low." Batistuta moved his shoulders. "Going to Dortmund is not bad either. Maybe we can meet next season. If we really meet, then you will know that what I said is absolutely right."

"Shh!" Seat B interrupted, "Look at the screen, it's our turn!"

On the screen, Schweinsteiger pulled out the Manchester City note.

[Let's take a look at who Manchester City's opponent will be——]

The host drew out the last word and the camera was focused on the small ball in the hand of the former German midfielder. As the paper was unfolded, the name on it gradually became clear.

【--real Madrid.】

"Oh!!!"

Manchester City's locker room was in an uproar. At that moment, the players seemed to have transformed into baboons seeing a fruit feast.

"Okay!" Batistuta jumped up from the sofa. Everyone in the club knew that he had a strange obsession with Bayern and Real Madrid. Lucas and Neymar on both sides were not well prepared and were all squeezed out by him.

"I've been waiting for three years just for this opportunity!" He excitedly imitated a scene from a movie, "Finally, it's complete!"

The Champions League round of 16 will usher in an exciting showdown.

Manchester City will play Real Madrid.

(End of this chapter)