[Football] Bad Boy Batty

Guardiola's anger did not last long, and soon Batistuta was able to continue to enjoy the favor of the head coach, but his relationship with De Bruyne reached a freezing point. Many people inside Manchester City were watching, and some even opened a bet on when they would reconcile.

"Why, did you participate in the bet, Pep?" Batty was called to the head coach's office. He sat arrogantly on the swivel chair, crossed his legs, and bit the pudding spoon in his mouth. "I can cheat for you - we are done, completely, and we will never make up. No one should bet on this - wait, what do you think about me betting by myself?"

"I think it's possible, but that would be suspicious of bookmaker manipulation." Guardiola was still in the mood to joke. He didn't think Batistuta was serious. "I'll give you another half a month. Solve this for me before the game against Liverpool. You promised."

"Uh - I'm afraid it won't work this time." Batty said a little embarrassedly, "I promised you, but I didn't promise that all my promises would be 100% successful."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is..." Batty put down his legs and sat up straight. Seeing Guardiola pick up the coffee beside him, he cleared his throat and said, "Kevin dumped me."

"Puff - cough cough cough!" Guardiola choked on his mouth. He didn't care about the coffee stains everywhere and looked over in disbelief. "Kevin dumped you - are you serious?"

"Hmm." Batty nodded leisurely, "I don't know where I touched his fragile and sensitive little nerve. He blocked me the night after the game last week, so I blocked him too, and then as you can see, we don't talk anymore, that's it."

"Holy fuck." Guardiola took a deep breath, "This is what I've been worried about." The Catalan knocked on the chair in annoyance, then leaned back and said to himself: "I warned Kevin a long time ago, but he just didn't listen. Now my nightmare has finally come true."

"Don't worry, it won't affect anything. We played very well against Newcastle the day before yesterday." Batty shrugged, "Leave it to time, time can heal everything."

"Damn time." Guardiola couldn't be angry with the little bastard in front of him, nor did he want to get angry with the unlucky Kevin. Of course, whether he wanted to or not, things had already happened, so he had to deal with it.

In fact, he was worried about more than just the current situation.

The idea of ​​'separation' is most likely just a unilateral one of Batty, because blocking is most likely just a way for Kevin to show his anger. He is waiting for the little bastard to compromise, but according to all past experience, he always compromises in the end, so in the future when Kevin can't wait for more apologies from Batty, there will be more 'wars' between them.

And these wars had a far greater impact on Kevin than on Batty.

Damn it, Guardiola felt like his head was going to explode.

"It's getting late, Pep, I have to go shoot a commercial." Batistuta looked at his phone and stood up to go to the door. "Today is FIFA Day. The EA Sports people are here with our new cards. Lucas and I are going to guess the players based on the data."

Go, go, hurry up.

Guardiola waved his hand to signal him to disappear from his sight immediately. If he stayed any longer, he might really be so angry that he would go to see God.

Batty walked to the door and seemed to suddenly think of something.

"Hey Pep."

"what?"

"How many points do you think I will get this time? Can I surpass Messi?"

"...I hope so." Guardiola looked up and gave him a very fake smile, "Now get out, Batistuta, I don't want to see you for the time being."

"learn."

"Remember to close the door."

Batty curled his lips, gave an unstandard naval salute, then stuck out his tongue and closed the door of the head coach's office.

……

When Batistuta took two oranges and an apple from the restaurant and finally arrived at the shooting site, Lucas was already sitting on a chair waiting for him. There was another chair next to him, and between the two chairs was a stand with a stack of life-size enlarged star cards of "FIFA 2020" with their portraits and names covered.

Directly opposite these was a camera with two fill light boards next to it. Behind them were members of the hi filming crew and personnel sent by EA Games to supervise.

There is still more than a month before the release of "FIFA 2020". The manufacturer requires all cooperating clubs to produce more related videos to warm up. What Batistuta and Lucas have to do next is to guess who the owner of this card is based on the data on those star cards (speed, dribbling, shooting, defense, passing, and body).

A very traditional little game.

Batty greeted the filming crew and walked around to the back and sat down.

The first card is a bit average, with 70 points for both pace and passing, only 54 for shooting, but 81 for defense.

"A defender," Batty said.

"Yes, I thought of that." Lucas frowned and scratched his chin, "But other than that - Physical 76, does that exclude Kyle? He should be stronger than this."

"It's definitely not Kyle. No matter how slow he is, his speed can't be only 70. For a full-back, 70 means he will never be able to catch up with any striker." Batistuta thought for a moment, "It's most likely a central defender, Laporte?"

"Laporte's passing should be higher," Lucas said, "and his dribbling is 74, maybe a defensive midfielder, Rodri?"

"Rodri is stronger than this." Batty pinched his finger bones, "I think he's like John."

"John Stones?"

"uh-huh."

"Yeah——" Lucas showed an expression of sudden enlightenment after being reminded, "It should be correct, it's Stones."

The crew reminded them that they could take off the mask.

Buddy reached out and tore open the paper: "Ha, as expected, good afternoon, Johnny baby."

The photo indeed showed Stones's grinning face.

The second one is the star card.

Speed ​​92, dribbling 95, shooting 90, defending 33, passing 86, physical 63.

"This must be a striker." Batty raised his eyebrows. "Look at these poor defensive numbers."

"And the body, it's pretty pitiful."

"Yes, 63 points in physical confrontation. God, it sounds like a baby that can be easily knocked down." Batistuta laughed maliciously. "You can tell who it is from these stats. My dear Neymar, don't hide. I know it's you!"

Just as he was about to reach out to remove the cover, Lucas suddenly raised his hand.

"Could it not be you?" he asked.

"Me?" Batistuta paused, then looked at the French defender in horror, "Do you think my defense is only 33 and my physique is only 63, Luki?"

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant." Seeing the warning look in the other party's eyes, Lucas immediately raised his hands to show his innocence, "I just thought that the dribbling and shooting were so high, it could have been you."

Batty rolled his eyes at him: "Impossible, absolutely not-puta! It's really me!"

He tore off the cover, and on the star card was a close-up photo of himself with a flamboyant smile.

"How is this possible!" Batty was stunned. He tore off his star card and turned to glare at the EA staff who came to supervise him. "Are you crazy? Did you think with your knees when making the card? Me, Batty, defending 33? Have you watched my games last season?!"

Lucas shrank in his chair, wanting to laugh but not daring to, his face getting redder and redder.

The crew behind the camera could hardly hold back their laughter, especially the cameraman. He lowered his head and coughed to cover up his laughter, but he accidentally touched the joystick, and the whole picture moved regularly. "Hey! I'm asking questions!"

The frustrated Batty is so cute. The EA staff waved their hands while trying to hold back their laughter, indicating that this was all the planner's fault and had nothing to do with their publicity team.

"And my body, my confrontation ability is only 63? Oh my God!" Batty looked at Lucas again while holding the star card, "Luki, do you think I deserve this data?"

"I feel - cough cough, sorry Batty!" Lucas coughed twice and tried to purse his lips to make himself expressionless. "Yes, this is too unfair."

"I heard you laugh!"

"No, I didn't--Pfft!"

"Just laughed!" Batty used his football card to hit Lucas on the head, "Traitor!"

Suddenly, there was a sound of turning the door handle. Everyone's eyes shifted to the door, only to see the door opened a crack and Neymar poked his head in. He was wearing a bright pink hat.

"I thought I heard Batty scream?" he said.

"Yes, you heard it right." Batistuta temporarily let go of Lucas and showed Neymar his star card. "Hey! My physical confrontation is 63, but my defense is only 33. Can you believe it?"

"This is FIFA, anything is possible, but you - haha!" Neymar couldn't help laughing, with the joy of success. In fact, he had seen Batistuta's data a long time ago, and just came to see Batistuta's reaction. It can only be said that he was very satisfied with what he saw.

Batty narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, dear Batistuta." Neymar cleared his throat confidently. He had already thought of a way out. "When you look back, you will find that my defense is only 31. Will you feel better?"

The air was quiet for 2 seconds.

"UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!" Batty threw the basketball card to the ground. "I'm only 2 points taller than you? Are you serious?"

"All strikers are like this." Neymar twitched his eyebrows at him. "By the way - my body weight is 58, not even 60, you are much better than me."

"...That's it, my friend. I quit!" Batila turned around and left with a long face.

Of course he came back obediently after a dozen seconds and continued filming. After all, the club had signed a contract with the manufacturer, and he was not really as angry as he appeared.

Just for show effect.

"Very good, this video will definitely get a lot of views," the head of the publicity team thought contentedly.

When Batistuta sat back in his chair with his arms folded angrily, picked up his football card with disgust, and put it at the back as if he never wanted to look at it again, everyone in the room (including Neymar at the door) could no longer hold back and burst into wild laughter.

Batty: ...
Batty: Tsk
……

After filming the video, Lucas accompanied Batistuta to the restaurant to pack dinner to take back. Recently, Batistuta's trace element data has decreased, so the nutritionist specially customized a nutritious meal for him and asked him to finish it. As the most nutritionally balanced player in the team and who lives downstairs from Batistuta, Lucas is responsible for supervising him.

On the way, the French defender was still joking about Batistuta's defensive value of only 33, and Batistuta decided to delete the game from his inventory when he got home, and he would consider returning to the game when EA was willing to give him a defensive value of more than 45.

"It's FIFA after all. No one can beat it when it comes to making trouble." Lucas sighed, "Not only you, Batistuta, but also Kyle Walker. His speed is only 91. I can imagine how furious he was when he saw it."

"uh-huh."

"And Kun, his shooting score is only 83. Either he offended someone on the production team, or... maybe it has something to do with his age? If he were two years younger, his score would probably be higher than this."

"Makes sense."

"Fernandinho's is also low, I think his passing score should be at least 87."

"Correct."

"…Barty you're about to hit the pillar."

"It's okay. I can handle it."

Lucas:…

Batistuta's answers became simpler and less sincere, which aroused the French defender's vigilance. He pretended to glance at him casually and saw that Batistuta was holding his mobile phone and concentrating on texting with someone. There were not many words on the interface, but there were many Internet memes and healing pictures of small animals.

"Uh, Batty?" Lucas asked as casually as possible, "Who are you talking to?"

Hearing this, Batty finally raised his head.

"No one." He turned off the screen and smiled at Lucas. "A friend."

It was also a coincidence that just as he was speaking, De Bruyne came out from a corner not far ahead. He walked towards Batistuta and Lucas, as if he had just left the restaurant.

At that moment Lucas panicked.
All he could think about was 'Oh no! Kevin and Batty are meeting! It's over, it's over!', and he forgot about what happened to Batty and the mysterious person he was chatting with a few seconds ago.

However, his worries were unnecessary.

De Bruyne and Batistuta both saw each other, but chose not to react. They said nothing and just passed each other naturally.

After walking over, Lucas breathed a sigh of relief.
But soon he became worried again.

That was very unusual just now. De Bruyne and Batistuta had a very good relationship before, which made him jealous, but now - it was as if they were passing by a stranger on the street, completely ignoring each other.

"Is Kevin... still mad at you about that?" Lucas asked carefully.

"Who knows?" Batty shrugged. "He's always hard to understand."

……

Spain - Madrid

At the Valdebebas training ground, Real Madrid players' daily training came to a temporary halt, and Vinicius found Courtois.

"A few days ago you talked about looking for Batti Information. Have you figured it out?" he asked.

"Yeah." The Belgian goalkeeper smiled, "I added his phone number and we are chatting these days."

"That's good." Vinicius nodded. "After spending some time with him, you will find that he is a very good person. Don't be fooled by the media. He is not a bad person, nor is he such a jerk."

"That's right!" Courtois took off his goalkeeper gloves. "Bati is easy to get along with. Although he sometimes speaks harshly and scolds people, he basically answers all the questions I asked. He is like a cat that can only breathe at people but will let you scratch its chin if you extend your hand."

Emmm——
This description seems a little weird.

Vinicius said nothing.

"Come on, let's go back. The coach will have something to say later." Courtois motioned him to go back inside. "Thank you, Winnie. I think I will become friends with Batistuta in the future."

(End of this chapter)