[Football] Bad Boy Batty

In November, cold winds hit the British Isles, and Batistuta could only reluctantly take out the cotton clothes that had been stored at the bottom of the box and put them on. During this period, Manchester City's condition gradually stabilized. Although they could not keep a clean sheet in every game, they were able to avoid losing points. In the league, they won 11 consecutive games.

But at the same time, their opponents did not make any mistakes either. Liverpool has been on a roll since the beginning of the season, winning all competitions, while Manchester United has not lost a game since mid-September.

Manchester City is in third place with 28 points. It will be very difficult for them to defend their title as they are 3 points behind Liverpool. This means that the team has very little room for error in the remaining games and while trying their best to win consecutive games, they also have to hope that Liverpool will lose points.

What's more, there is Manchester United standing in the way.

We haven't even entered the intensive schedule yet, but the battle has already intensified. When Manchester City finishes participating in the Club World Cup in December and enters the Christmas schedule, and the UEFA Nations League starts at the same time, it is hard to say which team will be attacked by the FIFA virus and become full of injured players and fail to perform well.

On a snowy day, Manchester City ushered in the 13th round of the league, where they will host Chelsea at home.

Compared with previous years, the snow this year came a little early, but it didn't matter. The Blue Moon Army's condition was not affected at all. After all, they were also Chelsea's victims.

In the past two seasons, Manchester City has only lost one away game to Chelsea, and won the other five games. In particular, they beat Chelsea 1-5 at home last season. In contrast, the Blues have only won one of their last six away games at Etihad.

"They have a little curse on them, at least since I came here, especially the goalkeeper position." Sitting in the home locker room, Batistuta seemed very comfortable. He joked while passing the ball, "Remember, Kepa last season? It was the first time I saw a player who refused to be substituted."

"Of course! It couldn't be clearer." B Silva took over and said, "Not only you, Batistuta, none of us have seen a guy who doesn't listen to the head coach, but he is still playing for Chelsea now, but their head coach, Sarri, is gone."

"Hey, be careful." Ederson passed by and patted his head. "If Pep hears it, he will think you are implying something to him."

"Impossible." B Silva shook his hand off. "Pep isn't that sensitive."

"Besides Kepa, there's also his predecessor." Batty put on his socks and continued, "That guy named Courtois is even more so." He dragged out his voice, smiled evilly and deliberately glanced at De Bruyne not far away, "Who else doesn't know about the gossip between him and Kevin?"

De Bruyne was packing things in the cabinet and didn't seem to react, but the atmosphere around him had begun to become not so beautiful.

"Come to think of it - I saw him on the news these days." Batty continued to play tricks. He winked at B Seat who was stunned and waved at him. "They said he came back to England during the holiday. It seems that he cheated again or something. Kevin, did you see it?"

De Bruyne paused as he took the water.

Seat B: …
B席: You are done, Batistuta (thinking)
As the whole team watched, the Belgian midfielder continued to collect the water, then he walked straight to Batistuta with the paper cup.

Batty put on his innocent expression.

"Kevin? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." De Bruyne said coldly, "The game is about to start, you'd better calm down."

"calm?"

Before Batistuta could figure out what was going on, De Bruyne turned his wrist and poured the entire glass of water over Batistuta's head. He did not move quickly, so no water was wasted. The water started from the carefully groomed dreadlocks of Manchester City's king who loves to stir up trouble, passed through the collar, went through the shorts, and even the socks he had just changed into were not spared.

"Kevin!" Batty looked at him in surprise with water drops hanging on his eyelashes.

"I told you to calm down," De Bruyne replied, as if it wasn't a big deal. He looked at his watch and said, "We have to go out in three minutes. If you don't want to play in wet clothes, you'd better hurry up."

After saying that, he turned around and was the first to walk out of the locker room.

There was silence.

It was Lucas who grabbed the towel first and rushed towards Batistuta. Neymar, who had just returned from a conversation with Guardiola in the corridor, was confused. He looked at Batistuta wrapped in a towel, Lucas who was helping him, and the puddle of water under Batistuta's feet, and several question marks popped up in his head.

"What happened?" Neymar asked.

B Silva whistled: "Just now, our king was being mean to the most difficult guy in the locker room. What were you thinking, Batistuta, deliberately mentioning Courtois in front of Kevin? The last person who did this is dead as far as I know."

No.

Batty thought a little sinisterly that he had done this before and he hadn't died yet, and he just got a rough sex as a 'reward'.

"You're too excited today, Batty." Lucas commented. He didn't like Batty's new hairstyle very much, but since Batty wanted to keep it, he decided to accept it.
"Change your clothes first, then go talk to him. The game is about to start, and you don't want Kevin not to pass the ball to you, do you?" he said.

"Will he?"

"You know he will."

"Okay, I'll go apologize to him later." Batty touched his nose. "Really, it's been so long, who knew he would still get angry because of this."

Hearing this, I really want to beat him up.

B Silva finally couldn't help but rolled his eyes at Batistuta for the first time since joining Manchester City.

Thanks for the love from Belgium, that was a great dip!
……

Manchester City really played well in this game, showing the strength of the European overlord last season. They continued their ruthless behavior towards Chelsea and welcomed the first snowfall of 6 with a 1-2019 victory at the Etihad.

In today's game, Batistuta scored a hat-trick, and it was not just a simple hat-trick, but a perfect hat-trick that many forwards may not be able to achieve in their careers.

The so-called perfect hat trick refers to a goal scored with the left foot, right foot, and head in the same game. It is already quite challenging for players to get a hat trick in a single game, and with these requirements, it is even more stringent.

But Batty did it.

At the same time, not only did he score goals with his left and right feet and his head, but he also scored within 15 minutes, breaking the fastest hat-trick record in the Premier League that had been dormant for 18 years. Before him, the record was held by Dwight York, who completed his hat-trick in 2000 minutes from 2001 minutes into the game to 6 minutes into the first half in Manchester United's 1-2 win over Arsenal in the 24-22 season.

What a coincidence, both times were the same 6-1 wins.

In addition to Batistuta's perfect hat-trick, Neymar and De Bruyne also scored goals respectively. Before the start of the game, the King of Manchester City intended to apologize, but the Belgian midfielder ignored it. He brought his anger to the court and then used it to complete a heavy artillery world wave. It was also from this that Manchester City started the massacre of the Blues.

In addition, Lucas also scored a goal. At the end of the game, perhaps because he was too angry, Chelsea goalkeeper Kepa (yes, the one who was teased by the Manchester City locker room before the start of the game) made a low-level mistake. His hand-thrown ball fell directly to the feet of Lucas, who had not had time to retreat after assisting the frontcourt.

Not surprisingly, the French defender kicked the ball directly into the opponent's goal.

However, Chelsea was not always suppressed by Manchester City. In the first half, they ran actively and played well. For a while, they were even on par with their opponents. However, Manchester City's firepower was too overwhelming and they were beaten into submission in the second half.

Their only goal was scored by Kante, the beast who is said to cover 30% of the earth's surface except water.

It is worth mentioning that at the end of the game, Batistuta almost made a young player who had just been substituted on by Chelsea cry. When the referee came to inquire about it, he shrugged and said, "Come on, there shouldn't be a rule that says that the opponent is like a fool firefly being played around by a baton, right?"

This is true.

The referee was helpless and had to give Batistuta a verbal warning and ask him to apologize to the young player.

Batistuta's apology has always been frivolous, and with his recent sarcastic remarks, the consequences are predictable. The young player named Mason Mount rejected Batistuta's apology and told reporters in a post-match interview: "The King you are talking about is just an arrogant and arrogant bastard. He is really good and cooperates with his teammates very quickly and smoothly. I can't even get close to him on the court. As he said, all I can do seems to be following his footsteps and then being knocked down by his fake moves, but I think I have something he will never learn, that is respect."

When Mount's interview was broadcast on TV in Manchester City's physiotherapy room, the protagonist of his words was lying on the bed opposite, drinking coffee and receiving a massage comfortably. When the king who had just broken the record heard the other party's comment of "not learning to respect", he seemed very indifferent.

"I just said that. It's his business if he can't bear it." Batty licked the milk mustache on his lips and said, "There are so many people who hate me, and he is not the only one."

Neymar had been sitting at the head of the bed. He looked at Mount who was still accusing on TV, thought for a moment, and then reached out and patted Batistuta on the back.

"You're being an extra asshole today," he said. "Did anyone tell you that?"

"Really?" Batty replied casually while scrolling through his phone. "First time I've heard of this. Thank you."

Neymar was amused by his answer.

Ok.
This is very Batty.

He and the physiotherapist looked at each other and both showed helpless expressions.

"My pleasure," Neymar said.

……

As the first victory of more than 5 goals this season, this game deserves to be celebrated. In the evening, all the staff of Manchester City's first team had a dinner at a retro restaurant in the center of Manchester. The chairman treated them. At the same time, he generously stated that there was a new nightclub next to the restaurant, which had good reviews. Anyone who wanted to go could put it on his account.

The chairman has spoken, so we must go.

After dinner, Batty took his loyal Knights of the Round Table to an old-fashioned bar across the street and stayed in the bar until the nightclub opened. Then he went to the nightclub. He arrogantly asked for all the drinks from the bartender, and then, amid the cheers of the crowd, he drank them all in 15 minutes, which was even more exaggerated than a perfect hat trick in 5 minutes.

Soon, the cocktail began to take effect. Buddy fell dizzy on the coffee table in the booth, mumbling something that no one could understand.

"My God, I haven't been like this even in my craziest years." Neymar pushed him and complained, "What happened today? What's wrong with me?"

"Are you asking me?" Lucas looked at him and said sourly, "You and him are good friends and have been together since the summer. If you don't know, who else would know?"

Neymar smelled something bad, he lifted his collar, reached out and pressed the back of Batistuta's neck, asserting his sovereignty from the side, while giving Lucas a warning look.

The French defender, however, didn't care at all.

In his opinion, no matter how many people are interested in Batistuta, he is the only one who has really done it with him. Since Batistuta didn't say anything, he just pretended it didn't happen. It's a very stubborn idea.

"You're so drunk, are you going to dance again? I'll take you home," said Neymar.

Hearing this, Batty sat up with a 'whoosh'.

"Jump! Why not!" He stood up shakily, "I got a perfect hat trick today and broke the record! I deserve to celebrate wildly!"

Kyle Walker, who was not far away, saw him stand up, and shouted to cheer him on with a bottle of wine in his hand. Stones looked a little disgusted with him, but he just moved to the side, then raised his glass to signal Batistuta and others.

In a daze, Batistuta seemed to see De Bruyne.

"Kevin! Didn't you say you weren't coming?" He tried to stand up straight and walked over teasingly, "What did I say? No one rejected me, no one."

"Neymar, stop him, Batistuta, Batistuta!" Lucas chased after him, "That's Zinchenko, not Kevin."

"Isn't it?"

"No."

“But I look alike.”

"They look alike, but that's Zinchenko, not Kevin." Lucas grabbed the misidentified Zinchenko and said, "Come on, speak some Ukrainian to let him know that you are not Kevin."

"Uh." Zinchenko was a little confused about the situation. He was very happy that they invited him over, which might mean that they accepted him into Manchester City's core group, but he really didn't know what to do now.

Just before the Ukrainian defender made a decision, Batistuta let go because he was hit on the shoulder by another equally drunk guy and took a few steps back.

"You kid, are you looking for trouble on purpose?" He tried to look at the perpetrator. "It's very spacious here. Why don't you go to the other side but come towards me - wait, David Beckham?"

Under the influence of alcohol, Batistuta seemed to see the young Beckham who charmed the whole world. To be honest, he quite liked that kind of appearance.

The drunk guy opposite was less serious, and he could be heard calling Beckham's name, "Not David Beckham, but Jack Grealish." He said vaguely, "My hairstyle is more exquisite than his, at least compared to his back then."

His articulation was not very clear. If a local were to listen, it would probably take some effort, but still be understandable. But now it was Batistuta, whose native language was Portuguese. It took him almost three months to learn English, and to understand all the local accents - sorry, he can't do it yet.

So to Batty, the words just now sounded like a character in Harry Potter chanting a spell.

"What did you say?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Jack Grealish, my name is Jack Grealish," he said. "I recognize you, you are Batistuta, the most popular and most badass striker in the Premier League! Nice to meet you! I am also a football player, I am in Villa, and I just came to the Premier League this season!"

Batti--
Uh, I didn't understand a single punctuation mark.

He just felt that the guy opposite him with droopy eyes was imitating the croaking of a frog, which was very annoying. He waved his hand, pushed the guy away and ran to dance.
"Buddy, Buddy!"
"Hold on, there's a corner of the table over there."

"Oh my god, who can stop him?"
"You danced well, but stop it, baby, it's time to go home."

"Don't take off your clothes...Barty!"
"Going to fall!"
"Help him up—"

Grealish, who was pushed away and forgotten, was a little sad. He had long thought about the scene of meeting Batistuta after being promoted to the Premier League, usually on the court, at Villa's home ground. There were also several times when he fantasized about meeting Batistuta at the Etihad, where he would defeat him.

But he had never thought it would be like this now, in a nightclub, they were both drunk and hadn't even exchanged names formally.

"Forget it, don't bother!"

Grealish stroked his hair, was sad for only a few seconds, then turned around and forgot about it.

He waved to his friends and said, "Let's keep going! Let's drink up all the wine here! We can talk about making friends later!"

(End of this chapter)