[Football] Bad Boy Batty

"Of course I want to play and play with them. This is the America's Cup and I want to win the championship with everyone, but unfortunately, my knee has not fully recovered. I won't say that if we win the championship against Argentina, it will definitely be ours. We must be vigilant. No one can deny that Brazil is a great team. I will cheer, shout and pray for Brazil in the stands. I believe that my teammates will bring the trophy back. I believe it."
——Bati, "Brazil Team Documentary: All or Nothing" EP05, opening.

[Snap]
The main light was turned off, the shading board was removed, and the voices of the staff talking could be heard in the originally quiet studio. The director made an 'ok' gesture to Batty, who nodded, stood up and stretched.

"Is it all over?" he asked.

"Well, everything has been recorded." The director stood up and shook hands with Batistuta. "Of course, we may need to re-record, but that will be in a few months. Now you are free, go watch the game!"

Batistuta thanked the director, then left the hotel with Loach and headed for the stadium. Today is the day of the America's Cup final, and the Brazilian team will compete with the Peruvian team for the final championship at the Maracana Arena.

Half an hour before the start of the game, Batty arrived at his destination.

But he did not go to the locker room as usual, did not meet them, hug them, say words of encouragement, and pray together. Instead, he took Loach directly to the box on the top floor of the stands, where the live DJ was located.

Yes, Barty will participate in the game commentary as a special guest.

On the way, he sent a text message to all the Brazilian players and coaches: You won't see me until we become champions.

Batty hopes to give his teammates special encouragement in this way.

In the box, besides the DJ, there was another person, who was also today's special guest commentator. It seemed that he had been there for a while. When he saw Batistuta come in, he put on a warmer smile and stood up to greet him.

"Long time no see, Buddy," he said.

"Yeah!" Batty threw the backpack to Loach, turned around and hugged the man, "Long time no see, Ricardo."

……

That’s right, Batistuta’s partner today is Kaka.

For the sake of ratings, the organizers specially invited the two of them. Even though they didn't know how to commentate at all, just sitting there and saying something, and giving them a few more shots, could increase the ratings by several percentage points.

There's nothing we can do about it. This is a world where appearance matters.

"How are you doing recently?" Batistuta asked, as he was able to chat with Kaka for a while before the game started. "What do you do on days when you don't have games or training? Is it boring?"

He sat on the chair with his feet up, not caring about his image at all, but even when the camera was focused on him, he still caused a lot of screams from the audience, not only from the fans of the Brazilian team, but even some Peruvian fans chose to switch sides before the game because of him.

"Not bad. I have a lot of free time after retirement. I can do whatever I want and eat whatever I want. No one can stop me anymore." Kaka said with a smile, "I usually stay at home. Occasionally I get invited to take on some small jobs, like this one. It's pretty good."

He has grown a beard recently and is a little fatter than before, but compared to many people who let themselves go after retirement, he has maintained a pretty good figure.

"That's so boring." Batty threw a piece of bubble gum into his mouth. "Have you ever thought about becoming a coach or something?"

"Coach? Come on, I'm not cut out to be a coach." Kaka also crossed his legs. The same action looked much more elegant on him. He waved at the camera in a friendly manner. "What about you, Batistuta? Will you become a coach after you retire?"

"No," Batistuta replied bluntly. "Managing a team is so tiring. Look at Pep... Pep Guardiola, he's bald."

Not going because you'll go bald?
This is a very special reason.

Kaka chuckled secretly, then cleared his throat, "So what are you going to do?" he asked.

"Emmmm, I don't know. Maybe I'll go find my godfather and act in a few movies in Hollywood or something." Batty replied after blowing a few bubbles.

He has never really thought about what he will do after retirement because that is still very far away for him.

Batty chewed a few more bites of bubble gum, and suddenly, he caught a glimpse of Kaka's profile next to him, who was looking down at his phone. His sight moved down from the hair fixed with hairspray, across his forehead, nose, lips, chin, to the tie of his suit, and from the tie, jumped to his eyelashes that were like small brushes.

gorgeous.

It can even be said to be a masterpiece that even God is amazed by.

"Hey, Ricardo." Batistuta moistened his dry lower lip and kicked Kaka's thigh. "You have such good conditions, why don't you think about developing in Hollywood?"

"What?" Kaka looked at Batistuta in surprise. "Don't be ridiculous. Me? Hollywood? I can't even speak English well."

"That's okay. I'll teach you." Batty raised an eyebrow at him. "Come on, let's go together. We will develop very well. Maybe we can even win a few golden men or something."

"Oh——" It was a cute joke, Kaka's eyes curved with laughter, he nodded, and decided to go on, "You are right, Batty, we have done that, the whole Hollywood will be fascinated by us! Oh, maybe we should think about the acceptance speech now, otherwise it will be too embarrassing!"

"That's great! But not just Hollywood, the whole world will!" Batty cheered.

The two looked at each other and smiled.

It is unknown whether anyone takes it seriously.

What they didn't know was that their funny little interaction was captured on camera and broadcast live to everyone. Even though no sound was recorded, it's no exaggeration to say that they caused a worldwide sensation.

For a time, the topics of #Bati#Kaka became hot searches in many countries.

At the scene, two girls wearing Brazilian team jerseys almost fainted. They leaned on each other and fanned each other's faces to cool down.

"God, I'd give up all my luck in the rest of my life to see them play on the same field together. Batistuta, Kaka, O——" One of them sighed, holding his forehead, "It's OK if they don't play on the same field together. I mean, I have more than one hole to use."

"Ah!" Her best friend next to her let out a short scream, grabbed her arm and shook it hard, "I just imagined them sleeping together! Help, I'm going to faint!"

"Really?" The girl excitedly grabbed her friend's hand, "What about us? In the scene you imagined, where are we and what are we doing?"

"We weren't there!" The friend's face turned even redder than before. "It was a luxury hotel, on the top floor, with floor-to-ceiling windows. The Brazilian team had just won the America's Cup, and they went to celebrate and drank a lot of wine. Ricardo sent Batistuta back to the room, and Batistuta looked at Ricardo with his blue eyes and told him not to leave, and then they - ah!"

Before she could finish her words, she actually fainted.

"Hey! Wake up! Hey, what's next? I accept that we don't get involved, but you-ah, damn it! Get up, wake up! I want to hear the sequel-"

[Okay, hello everyone, the game has started. As usual, I should tell you today's starting lineup - Hey! Don't push him with your butt! You wild elephant, if you use a little more force, the ball will be crushed by you! ]

Disaster, Batistuta's commentary can only be described as a car accident scene.

Fortunately, this is Brazil. As the host country, they can sometimes make some small mistakes. This is their privilege.

Also, Batty was not talking nonsense.

Peru played very aggressively and dirty. Even a layman could see that they had only one tactical purpose today, which was to kick the Brazilian players like balls, talk trash, and ruin their mentality while destroying the Brazilian players.

This method may not be a very powerful tactic for some experienced players, but don't forget that the current Brazilian team is mainly composed of young players in the midfield and frontcourt, with an average age of only 23 years old.

As a result, the Brazilian team encountered trouble when attacking. After the ball was intercepted, they were often surrounded by the opponent, their emotions were provoked, and the whole organization was destroyed.

The score remained 0-0 until the 33rd minute.

The Peruvian team is missing someone!

They used all their forces to block Brazil's attack from the left, leaving Jesus at the back post open. Can you believe it? There was no one guarding him near the penalty area.

Neymar broke through with his personal ability and passed the ball to Jesus, who scored easily.

[Yooooo! The ball went in! When our little Jesus got back to form, he became the real God on the field! How dare they not defend? They thought that blocking the left wing would stop the goal. Where was this, Disneyland?] Batistuta spoke crazily into the microphone, [This goal came too late. We should have scored at the beginning, but who cares! We are leading, Brazil 1, Peru 0!]

Unfortunately, Peru equalized the score not long after.

Thiago Silva committed a handball foul in the penalty area. After watching the VAR replay, the referee awarded Peru a penalty kick. Ederson judged the direction of the ball correctly, but failed to prevent the ball from entering the net.

1-1, first half ends.

Brazil had to go into halftime with a somewhat dangerous draw.

……

"What the hell! That guy actually knows what VAR is! Then why didn't he check it before? The Peruvian midfielder almost gave Neymar a hug and a throw. Are his eyes just for show?"

In the box, Batistuta was complaining to his heart's content, and Kaka's opinion was surprisingly consistent with his face that looked like a good boy.

"Some of the actions were too extreme, they should be given red cards!" He made a gesture of giving a card and said, "Just like when they sent me off in the World Cup, if these actions were put in place then, they would be sent off several times!"

"This is Brazil, our home ground, that guy is out of his mind!"

"Exactly."

Due to the DJ's mistake, the nearly half-minute conversation between Batistuta and Kaka was broadcast, but it was not a big problem because all Brazilian fans thought so.

If the organizing committee holds someone accountable, the most that can be done is a ban and a fine.

Kaka has retired, and Batistuta——

Batty doesn't care.

It's just a few friendly matches, who seems to care.

……

The second half continued with the change of sides.

The Peruvian team showed a great deal of confidence and played much better than before. On the other hand, the Brazilian team showed their old problems: the front and back fields were out of touch and the offense was difficult to organize.

Batistuta was watching in the box and was anxious to get on the field and play a few times, and so was Kaka, but there was nothing they could do except cheer for the team.

The game soon reached the 61st minute and the score was still 1-1.

And worse happened, Neymar had an argument with the opponent's midfielder, which eventually escalated into a shoveling. From the broadcast footage, it can be clearly seen that the guy first hit Neymar's stomach secretly, and then said something provocative to him, which finally caused Neymar to get angry and reach out to push the opponent down.

【God, what are you doing? Calm down! 】

Although the Peruvian player was acting, there was no doubt that Neymar was the first to attack, and he received a yellow card for his lack of calmness.

Now Peru has found a breakthrough.

As long as they continue to target Neymar and force him to lose his mind again, two yellow cards will turn into one red card. Not only will the Brazilian team lose its most important combat effectiveness, but they will also have one less player on the field.

If the score of 1-1 is maintained until the end, then in overtime, Peru will have absolute initiative.

Someone has to do something.

This person will not be Batistuta, he can only be the player running on the court.

So what can Batty do?

He rushed to the control console, pushed the microphone volume to the maximum, and then led all the Brazilian fans in the stadium to sing together... No, it should be described as roaring. He led the fans to roar out a little song that could be heard wherever the Brazilian team went.

[Pele in 58! Garrincha in 62! Battleship in 70, the first country to win the Jules Rimet Cup three times! ]
【Ohhhhh! 】
[Romario in 94! Ronaldo, the phenomenal player in 02! We are the unique five-star Brazil! ]

Although this tune is about the World Cup, it doesn’t matter. A good song is one that can stir people’s emotions and get their blood boiling!
Batistuta led the fans in singing three times until his voice became hoarse.

[Go! Go! We are going to win the America's Cup for the 10th time!] He stood on a chair, looked at the players who were gradually getting excited, and ended with the last and most touching words, [You promised! You will bring the championship back, you - promised! For Brazil! Go!]

(End of this chapter)