[Football] Bad Boy Batty

In the blink of an eye, it was March, and England had fully entered the warm spring. After experiencing the turbulence of the previous few months, Manchester City gradually stabilized. After winning the first championship of the season, they easily defeated Swansea to advance to the FA Cup quarter-finals, and also opened up a 3-point gap with the second-placed Liverpool in the league.

Everything is developing in a good direction.

On March 3, a seemingly ordinary day, something big happened.

The sun was not very strong that day, the temperature was suitable, and the humidity was just right. On the training ground of the Etihad Training Base, Manchester City players had just finished their routine training, and three or five of them gathered together to chat and drink water.

Barty won the practice match, again.

He took off his small vest, drove a car with Lucas to hand over the training ball to the administrator, and came out of the equipment department. Just when he was about to make a few jokes to mock the opponent's defensive ability, which had improved but not much, he still couldn't stop himself when he heard an urgent call from the other side of the building.

"Something happened! Boss! Something happened! Big!"

From a distance, the loach ran towards us with its claws and teeth bared, like a deep-sea octopus that had just been salvaged from the shore and whose limbs had not yet been tamed.

Something that could cause such a big reaction from the loach——

Batty raised an eyebrow.

"What? Has Manchester City finally been sanctioned and deprived of the qualification to participate in the Champions League next season?" He raised his voice and jokingly asked.

"Hey!" Lucas glared and nudged Barty with his elbow, "Don't talk nonsense!"

Loach stopped in front of the two people, first shaking his hands desperately, then leaning on his knees with his hands and looking down to breathe like a bellows. After a long while, he finally blurted out a word: "Real Madrid!"

"Real Madrid?" Batistuta repeated with a frown, "What happened to Real Madrid?"

"Huh... Champions League!" Loach continued to pant, and after a few seconds another word popped out.

"Real Madrid, the Champions League, and then what?" Batistuta continued to ask like squeezing toothpaste.

"Bernabeu! Champions League...Ajax!" The loach comes again.

Batty: (fake smile)

"Catch your breath first before you speak!" He gritted his teeth and reached out to slap Loach on the head.

Lucas handed Loach a bottle of water, and Loach took a few big gulps. After about two minutes, he was finally able to finish his words fluently.

"Is such that--"

Loach took a deep breath and looked at his boss with disbelief.

"Bati, Real Madrid is out of the Champions League!"

……

When Batistuta and the other two returned to the room, the wall-mounted TV was playing a replay of Real Madrid's goal. Almost everyone was there. Seeing Batistuta coming, Neymar waved with a pudding in his hand and made room for him on the pool table.

Batty jumped onto the pool table and sat down. He took the pudding, scooped a big bite and stuffed it into his mouth. "What's going on? What's the score?" he asked vaguely.

"4-1," Aguero said. "Ajax 4, Real Madrid 1."

"I remember Real Madrid won the first leg at Ajax's home stadium," Batistuta said while eating. "No one thought they could come back at that time."

"So I said something went wrong!" Loach was still so excited, "It's only the round of 16, Real Madrid is out!"

"It's a bit of a pity." Barty licked the spoon, thought for a moment and asked again: "When was the last time they were eliminated in the round of 16?"

That was a long time ago, and everyone in the room was lost in memories.

"I found it. It was in 2010." Lucas said, shaking his phone. "In the 09-10 season, in the quarter-finals, Real Madrid lost to Lyon 1-8 on aggregate and missed the quarter-finals."

"Wow, in 2010, I was 11 years old. I played football during the day and went home to sell prostitutes, collect protection fees, and deal in arms at night. Do you remember?" Batty hooked Loach's neck and patted him on the top of his head.

"Real Madrid is also having a tough season. I was watching the King's Cup two days ago and they just lost to Barcelona." Aguero shook his head and said, "Three fronts collapsed within a week. I can't imagine it."

"Don't worry, we won't collapse." Batty finished his pudding and threw the empty plastic cup into the trash can with a beautiful arc. "Who has the remote control? Let me see the replay of the goal."

De Bruyne came over with the remote control, and very naturally pushed aside Loach and Lucas to take the position on the other side of Batistuta, starting with the replay from Ajax's first goal at the Bernabeu.

"They play with great momentum," said the Belgian midfielder. "Some people describe them as the European Youth Army, which is very appropriate."

The screen showed the first goal scored by Ajax right winger Ziyech. Batistuta looked at the time: 7 minutes.
Then in the 18th minute, the Ajax midfielder used a Marseille turn to get rid of Casemiro's defense, and then sent a straight pass. Ajax striker Neres got rid of Modric's defense, and then dribbled past Courtois and shot into the empty goal.

"It was too chaotic. Real Madrid's defense didn't provide any protection at all." Batistuta commented mercilessly, "If it were us, we might be ahead more than 2-0 at this moment. Look, the gaps are ridiculously big. What can they defend? A rabbit?"

"Don't say that, Batistuta, Ajax organizes their attack very quickly and they are very strong," said Kompany.

Batistuta murmured meaninglessly, "But still - Real Madrid's defense is a mess. They deserve to be eliminated if they play like this." He said, "Where's Ramos? Why don't I see him?"

"He was shuffling the cards, but he didn't play in this game," Neymar said. "Didn't you see the news not long ago?"

"I didn't pay attention," Batistuta smacked his lips. "I bet if he was on the pitch, Real Madrid wouldn't have lost like this. Of course, they would still have lost."

The little king leaned sideways against De Bruyne, crossed his legs and put them on Neymar, then changed to a lazier and more comfortable posture and continued watching.

In the 35th minute, Vinicius was injured and Asensio came on as a substitute.

"Oh - poor Winnie." Batistuta took out his phone to send a tweet to encourage him, and then touched Neymar with his knee, "Are you glad that you didn't go to Real Madrid? If you were on the court now, you would be the one to take the blame."

It's fine to say this in private, but now there are players and coaches in the room, who knows where the words will be leaked? Maybe Barty is a little excited because of the recent success, and he started to speak without restraint again.

Neymar pinched Batistuta's ankle and refused to answer the question. He turned his head and saw the Belgian putting his arm around Batistuta's shoulders, with his left hand reaching around the front, loosely covering his throat.

"Hiss - be careful, it hurts." Batistuta retracted his legs. Just then, the screen showed a video of Real Madrid almost scoring a goal, and his attention was drawn to it again.

"Real Madrid is not weak overall, but they lack a shooter in the frontcourt," Batistuta said. He then chuckled and said in a teasing tone, "I wonder what those fans who shouted 'Who needs Ronaldo' at the beginning of the season think."

Soon, the replay went to Ajax's third goal, which was in the 62nd minute of the second half. It was still a problem with Real Madrid's defenders. Varane and another one (Bati didn't know Reguilon) had unclear division of labor. Van der Beek's cross pass just happened to find the striker accurately, creating space for shooting. Anyone with a slightly better shooting skill could score.

But looking at it this way, the head coach has a bigger problem.

"We can't make that mistake," Kompany said seriously. "It's too fatal."

In the 70th minute, Asensio scored a goal and the camera captured the Real Madrid fans behind the goal celebrating wildly, as if the team had reversed the situation and advanced.

Batistuta quipped: "I guess this goal must have given them (Real Madrid fans) a lot of hope."

Two minutes later, Ajax scored a free kick that ended the game. The camera was on Courtois, who looked much older after leaving Chelsea. The goal was scored because of the goalkeeper's misjudgment, in addition to the beautiful penalty.

"He thought the guy was going to play a cross." Batty raised his chin and casually picked up a billiard ball and threw it to Ederson over there. "Look at this ball more, Eddie, don't be easily fooled like Courtois."

The Brazilian goalkeeper was well-trained and caught the billiard ball easily. He smiled and waved the red No. 3 ball: "Okay, I'll practice goalkeeping and you practice passing and shooting, let's do it together."

The replay on the screen continued to the end, and Real Madrid was eliminated 1-4 by Ajax.

"It's definitely a dark horse." B Silva touched his chin, "Ajax's style of play can restrain many teams. We might run into them."

"What does it matter?" Batistuta stretched and jumped off the pool table. "Morocco back then, Ajax now, dark horse? We are playing against the dark horse!" "Don't forget, we haven't made it to the quarter-finals yet." Lucas, who was sitting on the reclining chair, said.

"Yes." Batistuta put on his usual frivolous and flamboyant smile, walked over, bent down, and patted Lucas' head as if he were patting a dog. "First, we have to beat Schalke."

……

On March 3, the day before Batistuta's 16th birthday, Manchester City hosted Schalke 20 at home. This time they did not have the difficulty of the first leg at all, winning 04-7. Aguero scored twice, Neymar, Batistuta, B Silva, and substitutes Foden and Jesus all scored successively. Manchester City advanced to the quarterfinals with a total score of 0-10.

The Blue Moon Army celebrated the little king's birthday with a big win at Etihad.

After the game, the club prepared a cake for Batistuta. In the locker room, Lucas and Walker lifted Batistuta up together.

This time Batty's head didn't hit the door frame.

The paper crown was worn askew on his head. Batty looked down at everyone with an arrogant look: "My age starts at 2 now. If anyone still calls me 'little' king, I will beat him up!"

"Hahahaha, good!" Lucas patted his thigh. "Did you hear that? The little king has spoken! Everyone remember this well. Don't call him the little king in the future. If anyone still calls him the little king, the little king will be very angry!"

Batty: ...

"You're the one who yells the most! You did it on purpose, right?" Batty jumped down from the sedan chair, grabbed Lucas' neck and pushed him to the ground. "Don't think that my temper has improved, that's all fake!"

"Fight! Fight!"
"Don't be a coward Luki! Put pressure on him instead!"
"It's a bet, it's a bet!"

A year later, the locker room turned into a WWE scene again. Guardiola, who had just returned from the press conference, opened the door and immediately closed it. De Bruyne behind him didn't see what happened at all.

"Pep?"

"Nothing." Guardiola forced a somewhat stiff smile. At least it was better than he had imagined. Batistuta just pinned the man to the ground and beat him instead of pinning him to the ground or kissing him somewhere else.

The head coach opened the door of the locker room again. The 'fight' inside was over. The little king, oh no, the king of Manchester City won with absolute advantage.

"Who else?" Batty crossed his arms and challenged, "Come on!"

Neymar cheered on the sidelines and handed over a water bottle as a trophy. Batistuta took his 'trophy' and showed it off in the locker room.

"puff--"

Guardiola heard De Bruyne couldn't help laughing, and just when he wanted to turn his head to look at his midfielder, he saw De Bruyne quickly walked towards Batistuta, took a large bath towel and put it on him as if it were a cloak.

Guardiola: …

Looking at the harmonious scene inside, the head coach felt a headache again for some reason.

……

Taking advantage of this big victory, Batistuta held a grand party in his apartment to celebrate. Half of the football world came, and the gifts almost covered his sofa.

but--
Among the many gifts, his favorite was the one from Neymar.

On the morning of the 17th, Batistuta was woken up by a phone call from the other party. During the call, Neymar asked him to open the door quickly. Batistuta thought it would be a cliché TV drama plot, and when he opened the door, he would see Neymar holding flowers or something else standing at the door.

But he was wrong.

He opened the door and saw a coffin.

Batty: ?
I rubbed my eyes and opened them again. It was indeed a coffin.

"Tada!" Neymar jumped out from behind the coffin. "Surprise!"

Batty looked over in disbelief: "You call this a surprise?"

"Isn't it?" Neymar asked back. "When we were in here, I heard you say you wanted to buy it home."

"When did I-"

Batty was halfway through his words when his memory suddenly began to come back to him. He remembered that it was during the World Youth Championship in South Korea, in that haunted house, and they did lie in a coffin for a while.

"Remember now?" Neymar smiled and patted the coffin lid, "And it's not similar, this is the one we squeezed past at that time."

"You bought it from the haunted house?"

"Well, I wanted to buy it last year, but I was in Paris at the time and had too many things to deal with, so I put it on hold." Neymar said with some pride, "I remember all your wishes. Who else can do this?"

Batistuta: What is this feeling of being touched but also a little weird?
Half a minute later——

"Ney?"

"what happened?"

"How did this thing get up here?"

“The workers pushed it up.”

"And the workers?"

"I let them go. You probably didn't want them to see you hugging me and kissing me, right?"

"but--"

"but what?"

"Now how do we get it in?"

"..."

Finally, the two of them carried the coffin in with great effort. As for why they didn't ask Loach from next door and Edson, B Seat, and Lucas downstairs for help, it was of course because the coffin had another use.

They relived the scene in the coffin, escalated it to making out, and then took a nap in it afterward.

At about 8 o'clock in the morning, Loach's screams echoed throughout the entire floor.

"Bati! Oh no! Something big has happened again!"

Batistuta pushed open the coffin lid with a 'pop' sound, and with his hair messier than a bird's nest, he looked over with gritted teeth: "You'd better have something bigger than Real Madrid being eliminated! Otherwise, I swear to God--"

Loach braked urgently, his eyes moved back and forth between Batty and the coffin for a few times, and finally he swallowed.

"Nothing much." Loach said, "I just want to tell you that Paris was reversed by Manchester United and Bayern lost to Liverpool. Well, that's it."

ha?
Batty's temper subsided instantly.

Paris was defeated by Manchester United after leading 2-0? Bayern Munich, who drew in the last game, eliminated Liverpool?
He thought about the remaining opponents.

"Tsk, this year's Champions League looks like it's going to be boring as hell."

(End of this chapter)