[Football] Bad Boy Batty

Batistuta is in a much better mood. Neymar's comfort and his kisses and hugs cannot make Batistuta fully recover, but there is still great progress. If there was a heavy haze over Batistuta's head not long ago, then at least it has cleared up in the past two days. Although it is not as sunny as the sun, it is also comfortable.

On the last training day before Christmas, the temperature hit a new low. The players training outdoors were shivering with cold. After the basic warm-up, passing and shooting training, the head coach asked everyone to go back indoors.

"No need to train in the afternoon. My team and I will study our next opponent's game. You can go shoot commercials if you need to, and cooperate with the club for promotions." Guardiola said to his disciples, "Sam Eli will be with you. I heard that they are going to go for a retro style for this year's Christmas special. Don't worry, it will be interesting."

Batty followed everyone else in answering "I understand", then turned around and yawned.

"I really want to join you guys, I like retro." Neymar complained frustratedly while hooking his arm around Batistuta's shoulder. It was a pity that he couldn't go to record the Christmas special now (it will be made up), because he was the one who Guardiola said had to shoot the commercial.

"Promise me, tell me if there's anything interesting, okay?" Neymar said, "Or record it, I want to see you play retro games."

Batty pushed his head away with a bit of disgust: "Christmas specials are usually boring interviews. Even if it's retro, it's just boring retro interviews."

This disdain is not without reason. Just yesterday, Neymar's name was on the hot search because he gave himself a cool head of golden dreadlocks, and there were two unique braids in front of his forehead. In Batistuta's opinion, they looked like cockroach whiskers (this is also the opinion of most netizens).

Neymar's explanation is:
"This way people won't be paying attention to whether you're turning into a violent lunatic like the Hulk again."

Batistuta thanked Neymar for this, and then rolled his eyes at him: "Come on, you just want to get this hairstyle, don't use me as an excuse."

Yes, that's right. Judging from the trending searches in the past few days, he doesn't need this to divert attention at all.

The day after Neymar gave him chicken soup, Batistuta rushed to tattoo the pattern designed by Neymar for him on his neck. To be precise, it was behind his ear. There was a vertical line, which looked like an earring when viewed from the side and back.

And this conspicuous new tattoo is enough to keep netizens talking for half a week.

Soon, Neymar went to shoot a commercial, and Mr. Eli, who hadn't been seen for some time, appeared on the phone with a phone call, looking like a busy man. While yelling at the other end of the phone, he divided the remaining players into groups and arranged them to go to different locations for interviews.

Batty rolled his eyes slightly. See, his guess was right. This retro Christmas special was still an interview.

"Yohoooo!" Lucas hooked Batty's neck from behind, "Looks like you're going to be stuck with me this time."

Batty grabbed his wrist and pretended to throw him over his shoulder. "You've made great progress in English," he joked.

"Of course! Who told you to ignore me?" Lucas broke free from Batty's hand and pretended to wipe away his tears. "I had so much free time with no one to accompany me, so I had to use it to learn English."

"Don't give me that. You go to see Theo every day after training." Batistuta sneered and poked his arm. "That's Manchester United, our derby opponent. Did you go to Real Madrid to see him every day when you were at Atletico Madrid?"

Lucas made a few faces: "That's different."

"What's the difference?"

"Just--ah, Theo is my brother, I just have dinner with him once in a while."

"But he is still a Manchester United player." Batistuta talked his head off. "Next time we meet, remember to get some information. Although the second round of the league is still a long way off, we may meet in the FA Cup or League Cup."

"Okay, I'll remember that."

The two chatted about random things and arrived at the designated location in a few minutes. The photographer was Anna, an old acquaintance of Batistuta, and the host was a new face, but it didn't matter. In this kind of fun interview, there would basically be no overly targeted or sharp questions.

Anna greeted Batty and Lucas with a smile, then directed them to sit in front of the camera.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Of course." Batty shrugged. "But Sam didn't say what kind of interview it was. Is there any topic we should avoid?"

"Not at all." The host answered his question first. She gathered her hair and smiled, "But this time it's a copy of the quick question and answer for two people that was popular around 06. It will delve into your private life in detail."

Lucas was a little confused: "What does that mean?"

"That means they will ask a lot of gossip-related questions." Batistuta tapped him on the back of his head. "It's like an official revelation, and it's explosive news. What, you haven't read the previous interviews with Serie A stars?"

Lucas shook his head stupidly, and Batty couldn't help rolling his eyes at the camera, using gestures to express "See, this idiot is hopeless."

The host covered his mouth and smiled: "Don't worry, it won't be the kind of death question that people can't answer. Just answer it naturally. There will be post-editing."

Batistuta nodded to show that he was ready. Lucas looked at Batistuta, then at the host, hesitated for a few seconds, and finally nodded.

"Then let's--get started."

……

Everything has a gradual process, and the same goes for the quick questions and answers. After the simple questions at the beginning, such as "What's your nickname?", "What's your favorite stadium?", "What's your favorite cheer?", the host's questions began to become more and more "suggestive".

[Messi or Ronaldo? ]

This question has been asked for a long time, and every player cannot escape it. Since the era of the two superstars began, all active players have been asked the question "Messi or Ronaldo?" at least once. Batistuta hates it, but the fans are keen on it.

Batty didn't hesitate: "Neither."
Lucas: "Uh, Messi."

[Who do you think is the best player in the league? You can’t choose yourself]

Tsk, here we go again.
Is it necessary to determine the winner?

Batistuta didn't follow the routine: "Neymar."
Unexpectedly, Lucas didn't follow the routine. He pointed to the side and said, "Of course it's Batistuta."

Oh?
Batty raised his eyebrows and looked over, a little surprised by Lucas' answer.

"What's wrong?" the French defender asked with his eyes.

"No, I was just a little surprised." Batty responded with his eyes, "I know I'm strong, but I didn't expect you to say it directly."

"Ah - you are so narcissistic."

"That's the truth. I'm strong."

'Then you missed a penalty and you were mad about it for a whole week.'

"...You want to be beaten, don't you?"

The host outside the camera was smiling like an auntie as she watched the two of them communicate with each other through eye contact and small gestures, and she screamed in her heart: I got it! It turns out that the little king still needs a loyal dog! Silly dogs are the best!

Despite her grumbling, she still answered the next question very professionally.

what!
What follows is going to be exciting.

[Have you ever dated a colleague? Even before I became a player]

Batty responded naturally and quickly: "No."

Of course he has never dated a colleague. In fact, he has never dated anyone. Please, ask him to be serious. It's impossible.
Ignoring the figure that flashed through his mind when he heard this question, Batty moved his butt and tried to change to a more comfortable position as easily as possible.

Lucas was also very straightforward: "No."

[Do you have a secret relationship with a celebrity? ]

Batty: "Yes? My godfather."
Lucas tugged at him: "We need a secret relationship. Everyone knows that Edmundo is your godfather."

That's it.

Batty thought for a moment and said, "That's possible."

Of course, football stars are also celebrities, and their relationships are kept secret.

Lucas' eyes sparkled with curiosity: "Who is it? Some Hollywood star?"
Batty smiled slightly: "I won't tell you."
Still Batty: "What about you, Luki?"
Lucas was as clean as a new toy: "No, I would like to."

[Who is the most famous person in your phone contacts? ]

Another stupid question.

Batty: "My godfather."
Batty: "Of course, everyone else has it, as long as you can name it, I should have it."
Lucas exclaimed in a long voice, then he smiled and winked at the camera: "Looking at it this way, this guy is the most famous person in my contact list."

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?

Batty: “Yes.” With the ugly guy with dreadlocks, although he didn’t know how he ignored those two cockroach antennae and sat down.
Lucas: “Sadly, no.”

【Are there any small toys? 】

Batty: “No.” He has used them, but they are not in his hands.
Lucas was a little embarrassed: "...Uh, yes."

The French defender blushed at Batistuta's teasing look.

【Have you ever had sex? 】

Batty: “Yes.”
Lucas: "Yeah, I did, but it wasn't ideal."

There is surprising consensus on this issue.

[Is the disguise too high|| tide? ] Hiss——
Batty's eyelids twitched.

Is the scale this big?
Batty hesitated for a rare moment: "Yes—maybe."
Lucas: "Yes, yes. No, no. I don't have any."

Hold it for a few seconds.

Barty licked his lower lip and held back his laughter: "Yes."

[Weird sexual fantasies?]

Batistuta: "I like tattoos, and I like tattooed hands to take my breath away, does that count?"

(Host: Oh! Big news!)
The host over there was still able to maintain a normal expression on his face, but Lucas in front of the camera couldn't hold it anymore. He opened his eyes wide and turned his head to look at Batistuta.

Lucas frowned, "You actually like suffocation?"
Batty shrugged. "I'm not asking about weird sexual fantasies, that's it."
Lucas: "You haven't experimented yet?"
Batty looked at him incredulously: "How is that possible?"

Lucas couldn't believe it and almost forgot about the Christmas special interview and immediately asked Batty for clarification. Seeing that the pace was a bit slow, the host quickly got back to the topic.

【Let’s move on to the next question – Do you watch movies on a regular basis? 】

Batty: “Occasionally, if there is good quality.”
Lucas was still staring at him, and answered absentmindedly, "No, I don't look at that."

"Why are you staring at me?" Batty glared at him. "We are doing a quick question and answer session."

"I just want to see you. What's wrong? Are you so precious that you don't want others to see you?" Lucas looked inexplicably angry.

The host smiled with satisfaction again.

Ah, that's nice.
It’s great to be working with the club.
It's killing me.

【Last question, will you record the video while you do it? 】

Wooo!

I thought the previous questions were big enough, but I didn’t expect the finale to be here.

Lucas: "No, no decent person would--"

Batty smiled and said, "I will."

Lucas:?

Batty: “But I don’t take the initiative to record it.”
Barty: "But if the other person wants it, I usually won't say no, it's quite interesting."
Batistuta: "It's fun to watch myself on video."

Lucas stood up, and the chair legs made a harsh sound when they rubbed against the ground. The host and the photographer looked at each other, and in tacit agreement, one person cut off the video while the other went to mediate.

"You shouldn't say this, cut it out! This paragraph must be cut out later! We have children among our fans, you can't say yourself in front of them...say yourself, anyway! This is definitely not something worth promoting!"

The French defender was a little incoherent, and many times his sentences didn't make sense at all. Batistuta kind of understood why Lucas was angry, but he doubted whether Lucas himself knew why he was angry.

Therefore, he put on an innocent face and pretended to know nothing.

"Sorry Luki, I was just answering questions for the show," Batty said.

Lucas was stunned for a moment, then turned into a mutant hybrid of a tomato and a cooked potato. He was very angry with Batty, but he couldn't tell what he was angry about. He wanted to apologize, but when he saw Batty's innocent face as if nothing had happened, he became even angrier, and then he didn't know why.

Like a terrible vicious circle, Lucas Hernandez trapped himself.

The situation on the scene calmed down a bit. After checking the video and confirming that it was correct, photographer Anna quietly leaned over, gently nudged the host with her elbow, and whispered in a tone of watching the fun: "Wait, there will be something exciting in the club next."

……

Happiness doesn't disappear, it just shifts, and the same goes for unhappiness.

However, Lucas looked like he was laughing and acting silly all day long, but his inner emotions were rarely shown on his face, so except for Batistuta, the host and photographer who were present that day, no one could tell that he was unhappy.

But it's not a big problem.

At least some of them were happy.

Batistuta's mood has brightened up, and he is the happy and carefree little king of Manchester City again. Of course, a big factor in this is that their midfield general has finally resumed training, and it is just a matter of time before he returns to the court to help him share the responsibilities!
After sending away Neymar who kept asking him, "You didn't pretend to have an orgasm when you were with me, did you?" Batistuta wrapped himself in a scarf and walked quickly to the outdoor training ground.

To be honest, he regretted telling the truth in the quick question and answer session that day. Their left sharp blade had been tugging at him for three days, three whole days! And he hadn't even watched the other party's quick question and answer video.

When he arrived at the training ground, he just saw De Bruyne finish running and walk towards the sidelines. Batistuta grabbed both ends of his scarf and waved it hard at him.

"Kevin!"

De Bruyne looked over in the direction of the sound and he felt struck. The excitement and happiness shown by Batistuta were truly conveyed to him, which made him more convinced of the idea that he was important to both him and the club.

If this is all just an act, he thought, then Batistuta shouldn't waste his time on the court anymore. He should go act and easily win an award for Best Actor or something.

To be honest, the Belgian midfielder has not yet figured out what attitude to adopt when he sees the opponent again.

During this time of recuperation, he also thought a lot about Batistuta, himself, and their relationship. It is difficult to change the other person, and he himself does not want to change. If this continues, the ending can only be described as tragic.

Someone must bow his head first, affirm the other person's ideas, and then try to integrate.

but--

'Whoosh! '

"Oh damn it! For God's sake!"

The situation on Batistuta's side interrupted De Bruyne's thoughts and also pressed the pause button on his pace. He looked up and saw the whole process clearly.

It was less than 5 meters away from him. Maybe the workers didn't clean it properly, or the temperature was below zero today, so that place was frozen, forming a small piece of ice that was difficult to notice. Batistuta stepped on it while running towards him and fell hard.

By some strange coincidence, Batty fell forward, and subconsciously used his arms to protect himself. In addition, he was wearing a down jacket, so he rolled on the ice like a panda.

When he landed, he was in an awkward position sitting with his legs apart.

And you can see the running shoes De Bruyne wears during training without looking up.

"Hiss..." Batistuta tried to stand up, but the pain in his butt made him sit back down. "Oh damn, 'Manchester City striker Batistuta missed training due to butt injury'. I will receive countless mocking text messages as soon as this announcement comes out."

Kevin De Bruyne folded his arms and looked down at Batistuta, who was complaining and rubbing his butt in a low voice, and finally failed to catch his attention. The Belgian midfielder laughed mockingly without hesitation.

"Hey!" Batty glared at him without any deterrence. "I fell like this just to find you, and you are so heartless that you laugh at me."

"You've become stupid, Batistuta." De Bruyne did not respond to the other party. He said condescendingly: "I guess this place can't be without me, am I right?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, and it's not just Manchester City and me. Without you, the entire Premier League, the entire Europe, and the entire earth will stop turning." Batistuta said exaggeratedly. After a few seconds, he leaned on the ground and tilted his head to look for the other person's light-colored eyes.

De Bruyne was standing and Batistuta was sitting.

Both looked at each other.

Their eyes met for a long time at the edge of the Etihad training ground. Suddenly, De Bruyne smiled first, and then Batistuta also smiled.

They laughed together, as if they couldn't stop.

But it doesn’t give people a sense of urgency.

"Come, let me pull you up." When Batistuta's butt was about to be numb from the cold, De Bruyne reached out to him, "There is still a long way to go this season, and I can't play yet. I can't just sit on the ground and be lazy."

"Come on, who's lazy? You saw me fall here." Batty rolled his eyes at him, then grabbed his hand to get up.

He patted his trousers, chuckled a few times while avoiding eye contact, and then stood up completely to face the Belgian midfielder.

"Anyway..." Batty dragged out the last word and gestured to De Bruyne, "Welcome back, Kevin."

De Bruyne grabbed the hand.

"Ah."

As for the question that had just been interrupted, he thought he had found the answer.

(End of this chapter)