[Football] Bad Boy Batty

当地时间8月12日下午15点, 2018-19赛季英超联赛首轮的最后一场在伊蒂哈德球场拉开帷幕，曼城主场迎战上赛季升班马哈德斯菲尔德。

Although the Blue Moon was invincible in the Premier League last season, its record against Huddersfield was mediocre. In the first encounter, they only narrowly defeated their opponent thanks to the chance created by Batistuta at the end of the game, and in the second leg they returned to their home court and were tied 1-1.

This means that the Blue Moon Army has not beaten Huddersfield at home in the league for nearly 30 years, the last time being in the distant 1987-88 season.

At that time, the Blue Moon defeated Huddersfield 10-1, and has never won a home game since then, so much so that many fans speculated that this was a curse brought about by that big win.

"That's bullshit." Standing in the player tunnel, Batty rolled his eyes at the ceiling. "Because we won by a large margin, we can no longer win at home? Which idiot said that?"

"There are always some superstitious people, don't take it personally." Aguero shrugged and comforted. He has dyed his hair, but not rainbow color, but a light color close to pure white, similar to Batistuta.

"I like your new color, it's very handsome." Batistuta changed the subject and reached out to touch Aguero's hair. "It makes you look like a family member to me."

Oh, Aguero felt a little sad after hearing this.

"What do you mean by look? I am your family." He gave Batty a hug. "You can come to me anytime. I will never find you annoying."

Batty gave him a strange look. "What are you talking about, Kun?"

"Uh--" Aguero blinked and uttered a meaningless single sound.

"I'm just making a joke, a reference to Family in Fast and Furious. What are you doing?" Batistuta raised his eyebrows and looked at Aguero jokingly. "Why, do you think of my tragic life experience and think of me as a poor little thing who needs comfort?"

Aguero: …
Aguero: Oh.

At this time, the sound of fans in the stands outside shouting Neymar's name came into the player tunnel. In order to welcome this summer's new signing Neymar, the fans hung up his personal banner at home. Of course, if he performs well in this game, I believe his personal song will be released soon.

Well, Neymar.

The Argentine striker's attention was quickly drawn away. He paused, then bumped Batistuta with his shoulder and whispered, "So, you're still not going to talk to him?"

"...There's nothing much to say." Batty snorted in dissatisfaction, "He doesn't think he's done anything wrong, why should I care about him?"

"But Batistuta, you can't stay angry forever," Aguero advised hesitantly.

Neymar was so sad that he went to Messi to complain, and every time it happened to be during their conversation. It was not that he was annoyed with Neymar or anything, but it would be great if Batistuta could have a good talk with him and stop him from always going to Leo.

"Dear A-Kun, of course I won't stay angry forever." Batty crossed his arms and gave his friend a very hypocritical smile, "But how long it will end depends on my mood. I don't like to give an exact time because I can't be sure of it."

Well, the Argentine striker sighed: "What about Kevin, Kevin's side--"

Before Aguero finished speaking, De Bruyne came to the player tunnel from the locker room.

"Hey Kevin! Over here!" Batistuta raised his lips and waved, quickly abandoning Aguero and heading over. "You won't believe what happened yesterday. Kevin (the dog) is so smart that I even think I should send him to college."

"Really?" De Bruyne laughed. "What did he do?"

Batty blinked: "It all started after training yesterday. I went home and played with the dogs. Kyle put the ball under the sofa. When he took it out, there were a lot of hair balls on it. I didn't want to touch it, so I told them: Don't play with that thing, it's too dirty, go get the Mickey Mouse doll."

The young man spoke excitedly, there seemed to be stars twinkling in his eyes, and he even gestured.

De Bruyne: “And then?”

"After saying that, I realized that I had never told them what a Mickey Mouse doll was. I only mentioned it once or twice on the day I bought it, and I didn't tell them." Batty put a finger in front of his lips. "Guess what - Kevin understood! After calling me twice, he searched the whole house for the Mickey Mouse doll, and finally he found it!"

"That's great." De Bruyne could feel Batistuta's joy, and he continued to ask: "Did you reward him?"

"Of course!" Batty looked up. "I gave him an extra can of snacks! A-Kun and Kyle (the other two wolfhounds) were so jealous that they grabbed my arm and asked for it, but I didn't give it to them. The snack cans are reserved for smart dogs!"

De Bruyne reached out to help Batistuta adjust the hair that was sticking up at the back, and his smile deepened: "Smart dogs get rewards, that's right."

Aguero next to him: …
He seems superfluous.

In a moment of distraction, Aguero caught a glimpse of Neymar standing at the end of the team, staring at Batistuta and De Bruyne who were chatting animatedly in front of him with a rather resentful expression. He didn't know how long he had been standing there.

After thinking about it, the Argentine striker decided to help him (and himself). He stepped forward and patted Neymar on the shoulder: "Ney? Can I call you that?"

Neymar was stunned for half a second when he saw Aguero coming over, then nodded.

"Don't be so reserved. I'm not one of those people who hate Argentines." The Brazilian smiled a little reluctantly. "And I often hear Leo and Batistuta mention you. To some extent, we have been friends for a long time."

"That's good." Aguero nodded. "What I want to say is - about Batistuta, you can't delay any longer, you have to act quickly."

Neymar was a bit surprised.

"I don't think I quite understand you," he said.

"Go and coax him." Aguero said simply and clearly, "Feed him the ball on the field, stand up for him, help him get things off the field, praise him. Batistuta knows that you are deliberately trying to please him, but he likes it very much. He will forgive you while complaining and mocking you."

"I think I did," Neymar said with a pursed mouth.

Aguero shook his head: "Obviously it's not enough. He likes a sincere and straightforward apology. You guessed it, I just came to Manchester City and I have to learn to get along with him."

"You mean I don't know him well enough?" Neymar asked a little surprised.

Aguero shrugged and said 'what do you think'.

"I know you and Batistuta are friends, close comrades in the national team, and we play together during the holidays, but playing together in a club is two different things," the Argentine said. "The club is like a big family, you will spend more than half of your time here, so the time you spend with Batistuta will double. Some things are different from when you are far away."

At this time, the referee team passed by them, which meant that there were only 5 or 6 minutes left before the start of the game, so Aguero pushed Neymar's shoulder to signal him to stand still.

"There are some more small details that I'll tell you after the game." The Argentine striker leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Anyway, you have to remember that it's much more difficult to interact with Batistuta for a long time than with a cool cat. Remember to be prepared."

Neymar nodded as if he understood, then followed the team slowly into the Etihad Stadium.

No matter what, the game is the most important.

Today is his home debut. He needs to show his best form to tell those who scold him that he did nothing wrong and that transferring to Manchester City was the right choice!

As for Batty——

Neymar looked past his teammates in front of him at the familiar light-colored back of the head. Batistuta was following De Bruyne and was in a good mood, walking back and forth on the guy's back with two fingers.

Humph.

Neymar gritted his teeth. They were already club teammates, and the thing he lacked the least now was time!
……

【Hello, everyone. Welcome to the live broadcast of the first round of the 2018-19 Premier League. Last season's champion Manchester City will face Huddersfield Town at home. This season, Manchester City lost Sane but welcomed the Brazilian superstar Neymar. What kind of chemical reaction can he produce with Manchester City and his Brazilian compatriot Batistuta, known as the little king of Manchester City? Let's wait and see. 】

The starting lineup was not too surprising to the fans.

It is still a 433 formation, with Ederson as goalkeeper; on the defensive line, Walker and Lucas are the two full-backs, Stones and Laporte are the central defenders; Fernandinho is in the back, De Bruyne and Gundogan are on both sides; on the front line, Neymar is on the left, Batistuta is on the right, and Aguero is at the front.

Veteran captain Kompany and one of the two core players, David Silva, temporarily sat on the bench to watch the game.

For today's game, Guardiola's purpose is very simple: first, to see the status of the main players in the new season through actual combat; second, to pay attention to Neymar and the overall adaptability. With these data, he and his team can adjust the tactics that may be implemented in the future according to the details.

And there is another important thing. He must see whether Kevin and Neymar can really put aside their grudges and cooperate with each other to score goals on the court as they promised. In a sense, reconciling the two of them perfectly is the main task of Manchester City this season and also of himself as the head coach.

and so--
The result of the game is actually not that important.

Guardiola walked out of the player tunnel, shook hands with the referee and the opposing coach, and then sat down in his seat. To be honest, he could even accept losing to the opponent (of course not by a large margin), as long as the goal was achieved, things would go smoothly afterwards, and exchanging a few games at the beginning of the season for the entire season was a good deal, wasn't it?

Many people say that he is a tactical master and a staunch supporter of offensive football and the passing and controlling system. This is true. But he prefers another saying: Guardiola is just a paranoid who wants to make football more perfect, and he wants nothing else.

Football is a sport that is both complex and simple.

The complexities lie in: the head coach's tactical arrangements; the differences in tactical understanding between the head coach and the players; the differences in the players' individual abilities; the relationship between the players (understanding); the venue; the weather; and uncontrollable factors.

The simple point is: there is only one ultimate goal, which is to kick the ball into the opponent's goal.

The players' routine opening on the field has come to an end. The captain has finished selecting the sides and both sides have dispersed to their respective positions. Guardiola sits on the bench with his arms folded, his mind full of random thoughts.

Batty.

Guardiola thought of Batistuta again.

Many times, whenever he thought about football, tactics and players, all the branches of his thoughts would always converge on Batistuta.

Guardiola considers himself to be a very ambitious person. He has never had a direct conflict with disobedient players. He just quietly puts these players in cold storage, packs them and then sells them. Batistuta is different. This kid is both disobedient and obedient.

How to put it, it seems like she is always testing the boundaries of his tolerance.

Just like a cat, he will ignore your request and push the water cup off the table in front of you, making you angry, but when you turn around and clean up the mess with a broom, calling him a bastard, he will come over and rub against your legs, like a sweetheart who can melt you. "You have changed. If it was Barcelona, ​​you would not indulge him like this." An old friend once commented.

Guardiola thinks not.

It is hard to imagine what would happen if he met Batistuta for the first time as a coach, but no matter what, he is now in trouble.

Seriously, use your resources and abilities to bring your friends to the club?
This was simply unimaginable before.

Ugh--
What a little bastard.

After cursing Batistuta several times in his heart, the referee's opening whistle sounded. Guardiola sighed silently again, then shook his head and turned his attention to the field.

Let's talk about other things after the game.

What he didn't expect was that this experimental competition would go so smoothly.

……

In the 13th minute of the game, Manchester City took the lead.

Huddersfield controlled the ball in the backcourt. De Bruyne and the retreating Batistuta teamed up to intercept and launch an attack. Huddersfield's defense focused on Manchester City's right. Batistuta passed the ball back and De Bruyne gave the ball to Lucas who was coming up from the left.

Lucas and Neymar played a good two-on-three game. Neymar dribbled the ball near the baseline and forced a breakthrough to the middle. It was obvious that he had a strong desire to perform today.

Before the defenders of Huddersfield could intercept, Neymar made a diagonal pass. The goalkeeper of Huddersfield made the wrong choice to attack. Batistuta followed up from the right and tapped the ball lightly with his left foot.

[The ball went in! Manchester City played a wonderful teamwork! Fans who were worried that they couldn't get along can now put their hearts at ease!] The commentator was very excited, [The little king's shot was still so reassuring, he continued his hot form last season, and the new aid Neymar also perfectly showed the style of a superstar, 1-0! Manchester City is leading at home!]

But the ball went in, and problems arose.

It was the first goal of the season and a great team effort, but Batistuta had no idea how to celebrate.

Manchester City's Brazilian Rose blew her lips in a complaining manner.

Forget it, just imitate the classics.

Batistuta ran towards the sidelines wagging his fingers. This was the classic celebration move of Ronaldo with his afro. Many fans in the stands also noticed this and whistled at him to echo him.

"Look! This is our tacit understanding, it won't change no matter where we go!" Neymar followed Batistuta and hugged his neck from behind, "You are awesome, Batistuta!"

"Of course I'm the best!" Batty gave him a look full of pride.

De Bruyne also rushed over, as if he didn't see Neymar. He grabbed Batistuta's arm and pulled him into his arms.

"That was a beautiful team effort. I know you understand me." The Belgian midfielder kissed the boy's ear. "Congratulations. I believe you will be the Golden Boot winner this season."

Batty enjoyed it very much.

More teammates gathered around, and the congratulations drowned out Neymar's fleeting expression of displeasure.

The Brazilian narrowed his eyes and, with the help of his teammates, grabbed De Bruyne's arm and pulled him off Batistuta. The Belgian midfielder was confused for a few seconds, but soon realized who was behind it.

"It's the game now," De Bruyne warned with his eyes.
'Yes, so you better pay attention. ' Neymar was not to be outdone.

Sparks flew everywhere.

But the next second—

“Hahahaha! How can we forget tradition!” Lucas jumped over the two people and picked up Batistuta, and even lifted Batistuta up by his butt. “If we don’t let the mascot climb up the tree, what will we do if he doesn’t score a goal later!”

Batistuta gave Lucas a brain-crushing blow because of the 'mascot' and 'no goal' comments.

"Can't you say something nice?" Batty complained.

"Of course." Lucas put him down, and then said half-jokingly and half-seriously: "When Ronaldo was in Inter Milan, he had a personal shoe shiner. Every time he scored a goal, he would use the same celebration action. How about this, if you score a goal in the future, I will also be your personal shoe shiner, how about that?"

Ronaldo's shoe shiner refers to Moreiro. In the 1997-98 season, he and Ronaldo played for Inter Milan together. In a Serie A game, Ronaldo scored a stunning goal, and Moreiro celebrated by polishing his shoes to express his admiration for him.

Batty looked Lucas up and down, as if trying to determine the truth of his words.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"It's absolutely true." Lucas replied with his signature silly smile.

"Okay." Batty also laughed, "Then I'll - wait for you to shine my shoes."

The two exchanged a hug again, and they reluctantly let go of each other until the referee signaled the players to return to their positions and continue the game.

And the two people just now were forgotten in the corner.

So when Kyle Walker ran past the two of them back to the backcourt, he laughed loudly without any concealment, and Stones had to pull his friend away with a twitch of his mouth.

Neymar: …
De Bruyne: …

……

Guardiola had never expected this, and under his incredulous eyes, Batistuta completed a hat-trick in the first half, with assists from Neymar and De Bruyne respectively. Lucas fulfilled his promise and wiped Batistuta's shoes twice.

In the end, thanks to Batistuta's hat-trick and Aguero's double in the second half, Manchester City won 5-0 against Huddersfield in their first game, breaking the curse of never winning at home. At the same time, relying on the advantage of goal difference, Manchester City ranked first in the Premier League.

Batistuta also topped the Premier League scorer list with a hat trick in his first game. Although new signing Neymar failed to score in his first game, he became the Premier League assist king thanks to his two assists to Batistuta in the first half and two assists to Aguero in the second half.

Everyone seemed satisfied.

On the way back to the locker room after the interview, Guardiola kept thinking about a question: Is it possible that the way to make Neymar and De Bruyne coexist peacefully is to let them feed the ball to Batistuta crazily?
Jesus Christ, he scratched his bald head and thought, this is something I have never seen before.

Pushing open the door of the locker room, Guardiola was caught off guard by a scene that raised his blood pressure.

De Bruyne and Neymar were competing with each other, but neither of them forgot to pull Lucas away from Batistuta. Aguero was about to say something to Batistuta, but Kyle Walker took the lead and hooked Batistuta's neck and took him away. Stones was at a loss to stop Walker, and then Ederson and B Silva took over Batistuta who was alone. At this time, Neymar, who had finally broken free, grabbed Ederson again.

Batty, on the other hand, stood leisurely in the center of the vortex, slowly peeling off the muscle stickers on his body, and watching everything happening in front of him with a playful expression, as if it had nothing to do with him.

Guardiola: (On oxygen)
瓜迪奥拉：5-0，5-0，5-0不能生气
At this moment, a message reminder popped up on Batistuta's mobile phone. It was from Loach, who forwarded a message to Batistuta, which was published by a famous football transfer news newspaper.

At first Batty didn't take it seriously. Loach liked to send him some weird stuff, such as football gossip, which team bought whom, and which team's top management had internal conflicts. He clicked on the message and swiped down, intending to take a quick look.

[On the afternoon of August 8, Manchester United officially announced the last transfer deal of this summer. Real Madrid left back Theo Hernandez joined on loan. The contract is for one season and includes a buyout clause. ]

and many more!

Why did he seem to see Luki's face?

Hernandez?
Version 2.0?

Batistuta turned his head back and found the photo that he had quickly swiped away. The photo was split into two. On the left was a young man running in a Real Madrid jersey, and on the right was him holding a Manchester United jersey with a smile on his face.

Looking at the face that was 85% similar to his teammate, Batistuta was confused for a moment.

"Luki!" He pushed Edson away from the fight in front of him and waved his phone at Lucas, "Did you see the news?"

"No, what's wrong?" Lucas shook off Neymar's grip, "What's interesting?"

"Yeah, very interesting, your brother joined Manchester United." Batistuta raised an eyebrow at him, "I guess he didn't tell you about it."

Lucas's face went blank for half a minute. "You mean Theo...he, uh, Manchester United?"

"Hmm." Batty stroked his hair and said jokingly, "Future Manchester derbies will be more interesting, with brothers fighting each other. Is there anything more exciting than this?"

Lucas walked over quickly, and Batistuta turned over his phone to show him the news. The French defender frowned and looked at it for at least 3 minutes, then went back to the cabinet, took out his phone and called his brother.

Batistuta almost pricked up his ears to listen, but thanks to his teammates, he only heard two sentences.

Lucas: ...Why didn't you tell me in advance?
Lucas: I'm not saying you have to discuss it with me, but at least don't let me know from the news.

Theo: I didn’t mean to hide it from you, brother!
(He sounds delighted)
Theo: It’s just—
Theo: Hey! Surprise!

Lucas:…
Lucas: What a surprise!
Batty couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Theo Hernandez was as interesting as his brother, he thought, it seemed that his life would not be boring in the future.

(End of this chapter)