[Football] Bad Boy Batty

It's called a training camp, but in fact it's a place to relax. Apart from the fixed training time every day, the players are relaxing and adjusting their mentality. There are more personal interviews and official video shooting tasks, but without those obvious fishing reporters, the whole process is still very enjoyable.

On the day after Manchester City arrived in Abu Dhabi, the Champions League round of 16 knockout matches were all over. Paris without Neymar was eliminated by Real Madrid as expected, Barcelona defeated Chelsea, Juventus defeated Tottenham twice, Liverpool shut out Porto in two rounds, and what was more surprising was that Manchester United reversed Sevilla and advanced to the quarterfinals.

Manchester United has been in great form recently, having just won 2-1 against Liverpool before the second leg against Sevilla. Although there is still a 17-point gap between them and Manchester City, their second place in the league is still relatively secure.
There are news reports that Mourinho trusts Augustus more and more. He scored the goal against Sevilla. Many Manchester United fans are getting more confident and start to challenge their city rivals. But there are still hidden dangers. Augustus and Pogba form a defensive midfield with too many loopholes. They can hold up against weak teams, but they can easily be penetrated by strong teams.

As Batistuta's number one fan in the Premier League (Richarlison:???), Augustus inevitably cue him again after the game. He said that Batistuta was the force that supported him to stick to his football career, but after the last fight, he had a slightly changed his mind about Batistuta. Now the only thing he wants is to defeat him and make the Manchester sky turn red again.

"Maybe I was wrong from the beginning, I imagined a Batistuta of my own. Now I am much more sober, thanks to the coach. We are doing well now, the locker room is more united than ever before, everyone is looking forward to the next derby, we will not lose again this time." Augustus said.

Batty got the news during dinner. Mudfish forwarded him the interview video of Augustus. To be honest, this guy looked a lot more normal, not as perverted and stalkerish as before, but his eyes never changed. Batty had been around several gangster godfathers since he was a child, and had seen countless pairs of emotional eyes. He was sure that Augustus had not given up on him.

"What should we do then?" Loach asked worriedly.

"What do you do? It's none of my business." Barty picked up a shrimp with a fork and put it into his mouth, curling his lips in disgust. "Whatever idea this psychopath has, I don't give a damn fuck."

"But……"

"Let him come. I want to see what he can do." Batty sneered. Loach looked uneasy. Batty also threw a few shrimps into his mouth and helped him chew with his jaws. "Instead of worrying about that, you might as well worry about the coming weekend. Sheikh Mansour said he would celebrate my birthday with a super luxurious one. The birthday gift is a sports car. He let me choose any one from his garage. What about you? What have you prepared for me?"

loach:!!!
Oh no, he was so focused on coming to Abu Dhabi for vacation that he completely forgot about his boss’ birthday!

"I'll get ready right now!"

The black boy rushed out of the restaurant holding his head like a screaming chicken. Many people cast curious glances at Batty. This guy, Loach, is always taciturn except for what happened to Batty. What could make him so excited?

"What's wrong with him?" Aguero poked Batistuta's arm and asked, "Is he irritated?"

"No." Batty cut the lamb chops in front of him slowly. "He forgot to prepare a gift for me. This weekend, March 3th, is my birthday."

Others who were listening attentively:!!!

"Oh, I thought it was something else." Aguero was a little disappointed. He shrugged. "It must be because I didn't spend the day at home this year and miscalculated the date. Of course, I won't make such a mistake. I forgot Leo's birthday once before, and he was so angry that he didn't talk to me for several days..."

Can this be linked to Messi?

Batistuta rolled his eyes and stuffed Aguero's mouth with a lamb chop bone.

"Well said, if I don't receive the gift I want on my birthday, I will be angrier than Messi." Batistuta said pretentiously, "The last person who forgot my birthday has been crossed off my list."

Zinchenko raised his hand tremblingly: "Excuse me, what is the list?"

Batty smiled: "Hit list."

Many people in the restaurant felt their throats tighten at the same time, and then began to leave with various excuses, then turned around and hurriedly prepared gifts. Only a few players and coaches were left in the restaurant.

Batty dipped the last lamb chop in cumin and put it in his mouth, then smiled like a devil.

It feels good to be at the top of the food chain.

……

On the birthday, everyone took out their gifts, and expensive watches accounted for the majority. Old-school players, represented by Aguero and Kompany, chose this as a gift, which was simple and sincere; B Silva and Walker were relatively more trendy, and gave Saint Seiya ornaments, sunglasses, and novel gadgets.

De Bruyne gave him a bottle of perfume, which was quite unexpected, but after learning that this was an exclusive scent he asked a perfume master to blend, Batistuta exclaimed that this was indeed his style and he liked to leave his own scent on him.

Neymar's gift also traveled across the ocean and arrived in front of Batistuta on time. The courier was a local guy from Abu Dhabi who came to the Emirates Palace Hotel by helicopter.
Remember that agency that said "as long as the money is in place, nothing else matters"? Yes, Neymar has found them again. He also gave her a watch, but the initials of both of them were engraved on the dial. Unfortunately, it was too obvious, so she had to choose the right occasion to wear it.

In addition to the watch, the courier also gave Batistuta a plain box, saying it was a gift together with the watch. Batistuta doubted whether there was a clown inside that would jump out and scare him when he opened it, which was very consistent with Neymar's character.

However, he guessed wrong, there was a -

Onesie?
Batty pinched it between two fingers and lifted it out. It was a swimsuit-like thing... pure black, with very elastic fabric.

Could it be a sexy underwear? One with a hole in it somewhere? He turned the clothes over and didn't see any indecent holes.

Batistuta took a picture of it and sent it to Neymar in a private message, along with a question mark.

Within two minutes, he received a reply.

Neymar Jr: I know you're having a lot of fun in Abu Dhabi, but be careful, people will take off your pants there, so wearing this inside is an extra layer of protection.

Batty: ...

Screw your security.

……

It's good to have a sheikh as a sponsor. Batistuta's birthday party was extremely luxurious. A group of people went out of the house and made a fuss. The big cake was not even half eaten, and the whole thing was used for fighting. After eating the cake, they moved to the swimming pool. The jumpsuit given by Neymar could not replace the swimsuit (even if it could, Batistuta would not wear it, it was too ugly), so Batistuta went into the water in shorts.

"Wow, Batty! When did you have a wild night?" Kyle Walker saw that the marks on Batty's body had become much lighter. He swam over and took a closer look. "This one is obviously pinched, and this one, uh, was it bitten? God, you've played more tricks than I thought."

"About this -" Batistuta raised his chin, fooled around very naturally, and then quietly gave De Bruyne a condemning look, "I believe this will not happen again, the gossip newspapers have no chance to find out who left these."

De Bruyne pursed his lips. In Batistuta's opinion, this was his way of expressing his apology, but only he knew that if it happened again, he would do the same thing.

Seeing that the topic was about to slide into an uncontrollable abyss, B suggested that they play the "Marco Polo" catching game, which immediately diverted everyone's attention and many coaches also joined in.

B Seat: "I'm an expert at this!"

The so-called "Marco Polo" catching game is an advanced version of hide-and-seek, and is a game that often appears at parties.

First, choose a person to be the ghost. The ghost must be blindfolded and count from one to ten. During this time, the others run around, the farther away from him the better.

Secondly, after ten seconds, the ghost can catch people. When he shouts "Marco", others must respond loudly with "Polo". The ghost has to listen to the sound to catch people. Depending on the differences of each party, you can limit the number of times the ghost shouts "Marco", or for excitement, there is no limit.

Finally, when the ghost catches a person, he must use various methods to determine who this person is. If he guesses wrong, he will continue to be a ghost, and if he guesses right, the captured person will become the ghost.

Batistuta has not played this game much. In Brazil, this kind of party game involving touching always ends up in some kind of colorful scene, especially the one targeted by the ghost. Usually he will be touched all over his body and have to control himself not to make any noise. Sometimes the people next to him will also come to tease him and touch him together with the ghost. "I'll go first!" Stones volunteered to be the ghost.

As a result, 20 minutes passed and he didn't catch anyone. As he said, B is a master at playing the game of tag. The person being caught must stay in the same place in the swimming pool, but as long as one foot or even one toe touches the bottom of the pool, it is not considered a foul.

In the end, it was his good friend Kyle Walker who stepped forward to help Stones out of the predicament.

"Now I'm a ghost!" Walker put on a blindfold and laughed evilly, "Bati~ my good Batty~ find a place to hide quickly, I'm coming for you~"

Batty rolled his eyes and stood about 3 to 5 meters away from Walker.

Didn’t you say you wanted to catch me? Come on, try it!
Things turned out differently than Batistuta had imagined, as De Bruyne pulled him to the edge of the swimming pool before he froze in the 10th second.

"Kevin!" Batty lowered his voice and turned to glare at him, "What are you doing!"

"I'm helping you win." De Bruyne lied seriously, "He will come over after I say 'Marco Polo'. It's easier to operate from the sidelines."

Batty gave him a fake smile.

"Oh, my dear Kevin, we both know you just don't want me to make out with anyone else," he said jokingly, "but Walker, even if he touches me all over in the middle of the swimming pool - what do you do?"

De Bruyne grabbed Batistuta's waist from behind, then used the buoyancy of the water to pull him into his arms. Before Batistuta could say something to mock him, he hooked the elastic band of his shorts and then "pop".

"If you were a mermaid, this would be the beginning of your fish tail." He said this out of the blue without any context.

Batty subconsciously pressed his hand: "Are you flirting with me, Kevin——"

"If you think it is, then it is." De Bruyne pushed him to the bottom of the swimming pool, then put his chin on his shoulder and secretly kissed Batistuta's neck when no one was paying attention.

Batty narrowed his eyes. "This is a swimming pool," he said. "When did you start liking this?"

Walker: "Marco!"

"Polo - I just want you to be closer to me, closer." De Bruyne didn't seem to care about Walker approaching him. "I don't want to quarrel or be upset, Batistuta."

"Were we arguing? How come I didn't know that?"

"Of course, we're not arguing, so would you like to come to my room tonight? I found a classic movie and we can watch it together, movie night," De Bruyne said.

"I'll think about it." Batty said lazily, "Lucas invited me before you did. He has a tropical fish in his room that can do backflips."

Walker: "Marco!!"

"Polo--Lucas?" De Bruyne's eyes darkened, and then he broke free from Batistuta's grip and moved his fingers freely. Walker was getting closer and closer. "I don't want to be accused of assaulting my teammates."

"Oh? Are you threatening me?" Batty didn't care about Walker's approach. He followed De Bruyne's movements with interest, adding to the mood, and then stretched out his voice, "I'm so scared, daddy..."

De Bruyne pinched him. "So, you are mine tonight."

"perhaps."

As soon as he finished speaking, Kyle Walker turned into a swimming athlete and swam over.

Walker: "Marco!!! Batty you can't escape!"

Batistuta's eyes were curved with laughter. He glanced at De Bruyne and then came up with the idea of ​​playing a prank.

"——Polo! I'm here!" At the moment he finished shouting, Batistuta grabbed De Bruyne's arm and quickly switched positions with him, "Stupid Kyle, come and catch me!"

Walker rushed straight towards De Bruyne, splashing water so much that it wet the sun loungers on the swimming pool. The England defender hugged De Bruyne like an octopus and shouted out Batistuta's name without even touching him to confirm.

"I heard you! Batty! I caught you! You were too weak. You didn't even fight back when you met Brother Kyle—eh?"

Walker took off his blindfold excitedly, and was stunned the next second.

"Why is it you, Kevin?"

"Hi!" Batty poked his head out from behind De Bruyne and waved at Walker with a smile, "Who said they wanted to arrest me just now? Can you do it——"

Taunting Laman.

Walker almost got his nose twisted with anger.

……

Guardiola arrived late after coming out of the swimming pool. He had his eyes wide open and looked as excited as if he hadn't slept for several days.

"The Champions League draw results are out!" he said excitedly, "Guess who we drew, I guarantee none of you can guess it!"

"Real Madrid?" Batistuta said. "Or Bayern."

"Go, impossible." B Silva jumped up and hung on Batistuta's back, "I guess it's Liverpool!"

Guardiola's smile widened. "Very close!"

Getting close?
Batistuta raised his eyebrows. Did he mean the Premier League teams? He thought about it. Tottenham was eliminated, and Chelsea was also eliminated. The only Premier League teams in the top eight, except Liverpool, were -

"Manchester United?"

(End of this chapter)