She is in the fog

He Xi was extremely frightened. She couldn't understand why her father, who was always kind and friendly, had become like this. He Sicheng pinched her until her face turned red. Tears welled up in her eyes. She tried hard to squeeze out two words from her throat: "Dad."

He Sicheng loosened his hand, looked at He Xi holding his neck and coughing non-stop, and said coldly: "I'm not your father."
He firmly believed that it was He Xi's unreasonable behavior and his insistence on eating ice cream that caused He Yanyan to get into a car accident.
Even though the police later found drugs in the driver's blood and determined that he was driving under the influence of drugs, He Sicheng still firmly believed that He Xi was the culprit.

From then on, whenever He Sicheng got drunk, he would denounce He Xi's crimes and cry, "Why wasn't it you who died? I shouldn't have brought you home in the first place! You are a disaster, you murderous demon!"

He Xi was terrified and didn't know what to do with all this. She just kept crying.

Although He Sicheng brought Chen Quxin back home shortly after his adoptive mother's death, He Xi still had some fantasies about He Sicheng when she thought of his former deep affection for her.

She put the photo back in the drawer, and kept repeating in her mind: He won't betray Mom, no, he won't betray Mom.

However, things always go against one's wishes.
He Xi spent twenty days piecing together the whole story and finally understood it.

He Sicheng and He Yanyan met in college and fell in love at first sight. They were each other's first love and got married as soon as they graduated from college.

After marriage, the two treated each other as equals and got along very harmoniously. Unfortunately, after five years of trying to get pregnant, they failed. After a check-up, they found out that He Yanyan was infertile.

He Yanyan knew that He Sicheng wanted a child of his own very much, but she had no choice but to travel around the country and visit many hospitals to no avail.

So she proposed to adopt a child, and they would raise the child together, so it would be their common child.

He Sicheng readily agreed, and the two submitted an adoption application to the Civil Affairs Bureau. After layers of review and public announcement, they took a two-year-old girl home.

And on the very next day after He Yanyan took the girl home from the orphanage, He Sicheng's illegitimate son and daughter with another woman were born in the city hospital.

He Yanyan named the girl He Xi. Xi represents the morning sunshine, like the rising sun, bright and brilliant.
She was also given a nickname: Yangyang.
He Yan gave all her hopes and beauty to this child.

The names of He Jingrui and He Jingqi were given by He Sicheng. Their generation is the Jing generation, and they deliberately chose the word Jing to imply inheritance.

In other words, when He Yan was running around seeking medical treatment, He Sicheng was being affectionate with another woman; when He Yan took He Xi back from the orphanage, He Sicheng's lover was about to give birth.

He Xi suddenly felt a sense of "faith collapse". In her childhood memories, He Sicheng was such a considerate husband and such a kind father. She didn't expect him to be so unbearable? Was he pretending to be in love with his adoptive mother for ten years? He was so sad after his adoptive mother died. Can deep affection be pretended? Since he chose to get married with his adoptive mother and start a family, he should protect her well. Why did he become a safe haven for others? Was it just because his adoptive mother couldn't have children?

No wonder he was always on business trips when he was a child, and he would not go home for ten days or half a month. It turned out that he was tossed between two families. His adoptive mother trusted him so much and never doubted him. He was so ashamed of her trust!

He Xi felt sorry for his adoptive mother.
Because, when she adopted herself from an orphanage and was looking forward to a bright future, her husband's child with another woman was born quietly.

For a moment, she felt angry and sad because He Sicheng betrayed his adoptive mother, and his adoptive mother didn't know it until her death.
Suddenly, she felt fortunate, fortunate that her adoptive mother did not know that He Sicheng had betrayed her until her death.

He Xi couldn't bear it any longer, she rushed to He Sicheng like crazy and asked him to apologize to his adoptive mother.

He Sicheng sneered, "What qualifications do you have to blame me? Who knows where you came from? If I hadn't adopted you, would you still be here today? You are just a rat in the gutter, and you will never see the light of day. I have raised you for more than ten years, but instead of being grateful, you are here to give me orders. For more than ten years, even a pug would know to wag its tail at me. It's ridiculous. You still want me to apologize? You should apologize to your dead mother. If you hadn't insisted on eating ice cream, your mother would not have died. You are the murderer!"

Since his adoptive mother's death, He Sicheng has emphasized in front of her more than once: "You are a murderer, you killed your mother!"
At that time, He Xi was still in elementary school and her mind was not yet mature. How could she bear the weight of being a "murderer"?
She was frightened and stepped back involuntarily, saying, "I am not, I am not."

But under He Sicheng's constant hints, she still developed a strong sense of guilt and self-blame, otherwise she would not have been hiding and not wanting to meet her adoptive mother's family.

But this time, perhaps He Sicheng's behavior was too unfair to the deceased He Yanyan, and it was too chilling. For the first time, He Xi had the courage to refute. She looked at He Sicheng and said firmly: "It was obviously the tragedy caused by the driver's drug driving. Why do you have to put the blame on me? You are so confused, aren't you afraid that your mother will come to you in the middle of the night? Moreover, you and your mother were still married, but you cheated on another woman and had a child. Aren't you ashamed? Don't you..."

"Snapped--"
A heavy slap hit He Xi's left cheek.

He Sicheng retracted his arm and said angrily, "It's not your turn to intervene in my affairs! I said one word and you have no place to live! You are not my biological child, we are not related at all. I have raised you for more than ten years, isn't that enough? You dare to find fault with me? Don't use your mother to pressure me! She was unlucky, I didn't kill her, I think I have a clear conscience!"
After saying that, he slammed the door and left without looking back.

The left side of her face felt slightly hot, He Xi's nose felt sore, and her eyes were filled with tears. She raised her head and looked at the snow-white ceiling, but in the end she did not let the tears fall.

From then on, she vowed never to call He Sicheng "Dad" again.
He doesn't deserve it.

He Sicheng's slap awakened her consciousness.

She is not a murderer.
The real murderer was the driver who was driving under the influence of drugs and then fled the scene of the accident.

She touched the half of her face that was hit, and as she thought about it, she actually sneered.

All along, she has been carrying the psychological pressure of "killing her adoptive mother", and she has seen that bloody arm and pure white ice cream in countless dreams.

He Xi was the only one left in the empty room.
At this moment, a gentle voice suddenly echoed in my mind, singing a lullaby softly. "Go to sleep, my dear baby, mother's hands are gently rocking you..."

Then, concrete images of the past emerged in her mind.

In the bright study, little He Xi sat at the small desk, writing his name on a new book with a pencil, using the eraser again and again, while He Yanyan sat by the window reading a newspaper.

"Mom, the word 'Xi' is so hard to write." Little He Xi complained in a baby voice, "Can I stop writing it?"

He Yanyan then stood up, put the newspaper on the chair, walked to He Xi, bent down, and said in a coquettish voice: "But this is your name, this name represents you, you have to write well, other children will know that this book belongs to you."

"But it's really hard to write, Mom. Why don't you give me a simpler name?"

"Do you know why your mother gave you this name?"

Little He Xi shook his head and said, "I don't know."

He Yanyan then said: "This word represents the morning sunshine. Is Yangyang happy to see the morning sunshine?"

The sunshine in the morning means it won’t rain, so we can go out and play. Little Hexi was of course very happy, so he nodded.

"That's right." He Yanyan gently touched her head, "It's just like the sun just rising. My baby daughter's future will definitely be bright and glorious."

"But why is the morning sunshine so difficult to write about?" Little He Xi is still struggling with this question.

He Yanyan tapped her chin and explained, "Because every night, the dark monsters would come out in a flash and surround the sun, so the sun began to fight with the dark monsters. They kept fighting for a long time, and the sun finally defeated the dark monsters, and we could see the morning sun. All this was hard-won, so it was difficult to write."

"Then why can't I see them fighting?"

"Because the sun is always fighting against dark monsters in places we can't see."

"Can the sun win?"

"Of course, the sun will definitely defeat the dark monster. When you see the first ray of sunshine in the morning, it means that the dark monster has been driven away by the sun."

"So my name means the morning sun?"

"Ah."

"Mom, I don't like the dark sky. Can I fight the dark monster like the sun and drive it away?"

"of course."

"So how do I fight it off?"

"When darkness falls, you lie on your little bed, close your little eyes, think about chasing it away, and then wait quietly. If you chase it away, mom will come and tell you, okay?"

"Okay, thank you, mom."

That night, little He Xi lay on her little bed, and He Yanyan sat beside the bed, reading Aesop's Fables to her in a vivid manner.

"Mom, I'm going to fight off the dark monster."

She closed the book, "Okay."

Little He Xi slowly closed his eyes, thinking about how to drive away the dark monster.

"Go to sleep, my dear baby, mother's hands are gently rocking you..."

As the gentle lullaby came to his ears, little He Xi felt sleepy and soon fell into a deep sleep.

(End of this chapter)