The Self-cultivation of Omega Running with the Ball

An Yunqi scratched his head in embarrassment. He was narcissistic, but not to the point of insanity. He also knew that he was a beast. Even if Li Tianchang wanted to commit suicide one day, he would first find his home and chop him up with a kitchen knife, and then commit suicide to avoid legal punishment.

But when Wen Qiu told him this, he really didn't doubt it at all. He lost his mind because of anxiety and left such an important family marriage. In the panic of loss, he saw his heart clearly and knew that he had already failed miserably.

"Aren't you getting engaged?" Li Tianchang looked at his tattered suit.

"I ran away to find you." An Yunqi admitted openly, "I can't let you go, I can't bear to part with you, I can't live without you, whoever wants to get married can get married, anyway, I only want you."

"Shut up." Every time he said this, Li Tianchang pushed him, until he reached the edge of the cliff.

An Yunqi stumbled back, his heel almost stepped on empty air, and a stone rolled down, without even a sound of it hitting the ground. But he was not afraid at all, just staring at him: "Even if I die here today, I will still say that I love you... No, baby, I love you to death, if you don't want me to like you, just push me down!"

After saying this, he closed his eyes, held his head and chest high, and looked as if he was leaving nothing to chance.

His heart was pounding, and he felt that Li Tianchang was not incapable of pushing him down. However, there was no movement from the other side for a long time. An Yunqi quietly lifted his eyelids and found that there was no one in front of him.

"Fuck!" He cursed inwardly, and a smug smile appeared on his face again - not being killed on the spot was a victory, and the person he had his eyes on was worthy of being a □□, who was unwilling to really hurt himself.

Wiping the cold sweat off his forehead, An Yunqi ran after the smoke and the smell of rice like a hungry wolf with saliva dripping from his mouth. He was determined to have this meal, unless Li Tianchang pressed his head into the ashes; of course, he also wanted to have this person, even if Li Tianchang couldn't bear it one day and really killed him, he would turn into a fierce ghost and haunt him for another hundred years.

/
Wen Qiu had already learned about the chaos at the engagement party through the live broadcast on WeChat Moments. Thinking of the mess he had caused, he felt very happy and opened the refrigerator to get a bottle of beer.

They were leaving tomorrow, and the house had been almost emptied, leaving only a few packed luggage piled up on the floor of the living room. Zhao Ma was sent by him to help Wen Jierui, and Xiao Zhiliao was sleeping in the bedroom. The house suddenly became empty and silent, just like the day they first moved in.

Oh, no, that day he and Pei Du rolled together in the entrance hall. In such a big house with good sound insulation, he panted loudly. Water dripped on the ground, and Pei Du smiled and said that he was a dog marking his own territory... At that time, he was still worried about the misunderstanding that An Yunqi was the biological father of the child, and he bit Pei Du's neck hard, wishing he could mark him in reverse.

Wen Qiu raised his head and took a sip of beer. There was no deep sorrow in his heart, only an unrelieved loneliness.

Not wanting to dwell too deeply in the memories, he made a phone call, thinking it would be fine to call anyone, as he needed someone to be with him during this vulnerable moment.

About an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Wen Qiu went to open the door and saw his psychologist, Dr. Wu. She was still dressed gently, carrying a canvas bag, as gentle and comfortable as pure cotton.

"I'm so sorry to ask you to come so late," Wen Qiu politely welcomed her in, "but I'm leaving tomorrow, and I've been too busy these days to say goodbye to you. You've helped me a lot, and I've never properly thanked you."

"It's okay. In fact, when you called me, I was still thinking about you." Doctor Wu smiled. She changed into slippers, took the tea handed over by Wen Qiu, and sat on the sofa. "Why haven't you come for treatment recently?"

"Pei Du and I broke up." Wen Qiu shrugged and said bluntly, "You are the doctor he hired..."

He quickly realized that saying this would cause misunderstanding, and immediately added: "No, I'm not questioning your professionalism, I just don't want to spend Pei Du's money anymore, so I've been avoiding him..."

"It's okay, you can do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable." Doctor Wu showed an understanding look as always, and her affinity made Wen Qiu feel relaxed. There were many things he had never said to Pei Du before, but he said them to Doctor Wu. In a sense, she was the person who understood him best in the world.

"Are you leaving tomorrow?" After chatting for a while, Doctor Wu said, "This news is really a bit sudden."

"Yeah, this decision was made in a hurry," Wen Qiu took a sip of the bitter tea, then lowered his head and held the teacup, "I'm actually reluctant to leave. There are too many things here. I don't want to leave, but I feel like I have to leave..."

"Is it because of Pei Du?" Doctor Wu asked, "His presence still makes you feel uneasy."

Wen Qiu slowly raised his head to look at her, then lowered his head and said slowly: "Part of it is because of him. I always remember the first time I woke up in your clinic, you told me that if I didn't want to see him, I should leave through the balcony door. In fact, you are right, he is too obsessed with solving the problem, and I only followed him blindly before. In fact, many problems cannot be solved now, so it is better to separate."

"Well, I understand. You are both very sharp-tongued people. The lack of distance in love will make you hurt each other." Dr. Wu put his hand in his pocket and asked cautiously, "Then - what about the other part of the reason?"

Ke Wenqiu stopped talking and just stared at the floating tea leaves in a daze.

Doctor Wu knew him. He was a very defensive patient. There were many things that no one could get out of him as long as he decided to keep them to himself.

But today, Dr. Wu decided to try. She smiled and said, "Relax, this is not a psychotherapy session. I think after today, our doctor-patient relationship will end, and we may never meet again. You might as well treat me as a drifting bottle, put your secrets in it, and let the sea take it away."

"A message in a bottle?" Wen Qiu smiled at this novel and appropriate metaphor. He suddenly understood why he called Dr. Wu. He had too many things in his heart. Perhaps what he needed was a secret bottle that would never be opened.

"The other part of the reason, or the most fundamental reason, is myself," he finally spoke, his voice a little hesitant, "because I... have too low self-esteem." Doctor Wu's hands trembled and clenched in his pockets, "Low self-esteem?"

"Yeah, I have an inferiority complex... I am not as good as him in everything. I am not as rich as him, I don't have his status, I am not as smart, mature, or knowledgeable as him, I don't have as many friends as him, and I don't even have any interests or hobbies. All I do all day is study and work, which is very boring..." Wen Qiu lowered his head and clenched the cup. These were the words hidden deep in his heart. They were the most unbearable side of him. Just saying them out loud made him feel painful and embarrassed.

Doctor Wu opened her mouth, her professional ethics made her eager to interrupt the patient's self-pitying thoughts, but another unspeakable reason made her remain silent.

So Wen Qiu continued: "I dare not tell him this, because he will definitely say that he doesn't care and ask me not to think too much. But I just can't help thinking about it, every moment I think about it - I spend his money, live in his house, wear the luxury goods he chooses for me, and every time I encounter danger and trouble, I wait for him to save me. Those people are respectful to me on the surface, but talk about me behind my back because they all know that I am nothing without him..."

Wen Qiu's voice gradually became choked, but he still wanted to say it in a self-torturing way: "I like him, I like him very, very much... to the point of obsession and worship. Every word he says will make me think for a long time, because his expression will make me very happy or sad, and I will become an idiot when I smell his pheromones... Sometimes I really feel like I am a dog he raises. Even if he doesn't come to control me intentionally, I can't help but put a collar on me and hand the rope to him..."

"Wen Qiu," Doctor Wu couldn't help but want to stop him, "Okay, that's enough, stop first..."

But Wen Qiu interrupted her immediately, "Oh, by the way, you don't know that we had a fight recently, and I wanted to be tough for once, but I couldn't do it. I always lost control of my emotions, kept crying, and my drug dependence became more and more serious... But he was very emotionally stable, as if he could respond calmly no matter what I did, as if I was the one who was making trouble from the beginning to the end..."

Wen Qiu spoke a lot incoherently, and finally rubbed his cheek with his hand and took a long breath: "That's it. If I stay with him, I will either completely abandon my self-esteem or I will really go crazy. So I can only run away, run to a place where I can't see him, and then I can breathe again..."

Doctor Wu listened quietly, as if immersed in strong emotions, and her eyes became red. As a "drifting bottle", she knew that she should not express any opinions. In fact, Wen Qiu did not need to do so. He analyzed himself too thoroughly, so he was so painful.

"Thank you. I really feel better after speaking it out." Finally, Wen Qiu looked at her earnestly, his light blue eyes covered with a layer of water, like a peaceful lake illuminated by the moonlight. "Please don't tell anyone. Just forget about it when you go out."

"...Okay, I know." Doctor Wu nodded with difficulty, "Take care of yourself."

After saying many words of farewell and reluctance, Wen Qiu stood up to see her off, and Dr. Wu tried hard to remain calm.

The door closed heavily behind her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. With trembling hands, she took out a recording pen from her pocket.

/
Pei Du explained what he should explain, comforted what he should appease, and prevaricated what he should prevaricate. It was already late at night when he finished cleaning up An Yunqi's mess. Of course, he could only solve the chaos in front of him. The anger of the bride-to-be and the Wang family, the dissatisfaction within the An family, and the impact on public opinion and reputation were all things that An Yunqi had to deal with on his own.

This incident indeed caused a strong shock in his heart. In the past, he would only laugh at An Yunqi's stupidity and impulsiveness. If it were him, he would never do such a thing as leaving the engagement party; but now, he saw in An Yunqi the determination and courage that he lacked - no matter what the consequences, An Yunqi must have chased him to Li Tianchang's house, hugged him and made a fuss, trying every means to get him back.

An impulse burned in his chest, Pei Du stood up suddenly, picked up the car keys and went out. He had never acted so recklessly before, and he didn't know what he should do until he drove to the downstairs of Wen Qiu's house.

No, there is one thing... Pei Du touched the bottle of cold and hard thing in his pocket, not knowing how to open it for him.

Suddenly, he saw a short and fat figure walking out of Wen Qiu's house, and he honked his car horn. The man noticed him and immediately walked over, asking in surprise and fear, "Boss Pei, why are you here?"

Pei Du leaned against the car door and said, "Nothing, just came to take a look."

Dr. Wu didn't say anything, thinking to himself, you parked your car here in the middle of the night, lurking downstairs like a male ghost, I wonder who you want to scare to death.

Pei Du asked again: "It's not your consultation time now, right? Why are you here in the middle of the night?"

"He just said a simple goodbye," Doctor Wu avoided his gaze, "He will leave tomorrow."

Pei Du held an unlit cigarette between his fingers, said nothing, and just extended his hand to her.

As per past practice, she should now hand over the recorder that recorded all the conversations to her real boss.

However, this time, Doctor Wu was extremely hesitant. Her chest felt tight and she dared not breathe - she suddenly understood what Wen Qiu meant by the feeling of suffocation in front of Pei Du.

"What's wrong?" Seeing her hesitation, Pei Du raised his eyebrows, "Doctor Wu, your work here will end after today. The private clinic I promised you before will also be handed over to you as promised."

"Boss Pei, I can't give you the recording this time..." Doctor Wu lowered his head and whispered, "I deleted them all."

(End of this chapter)