spoiled brat

Chapter 42, Section 41: Flying Catkins (Part 1)

How could there not be hatred?

But she had to hide this hatred, because it would upset Yao Niang if she sensed it.

"Is it really that important to know whose bloodline you are?"

“Every wrong has its perpetrator, and every debt its debtor,” Zhao Zhao said. “I already know that the stupid woman who tried to tie a man down with her belly years ago was my mother, but I still don’t know the name of the man who started the relationship and then abandoned it.”

“I was his unintentional mistake, something he didn’t expect. He never intended to accept my mother and me… It’s okay, I will find him and let him know what retribution is.”

Mother Yu traced Zhao Zhao's eyebrows and eyes with her rough, old fingers. Zhao Zhao stared at her without moving, then suddenly smiled: "Doesn't it look just like you when you were little? Your parents hoped your brother would become a high-ranking official, but they only left you to be raised as a daughter..."

Zhao Zhao's smile faded, and she said, word by word, "Do you really not feel any hatred in your heart, the same hatred as for being born into a lowly family—why should we be born inferior to others?"

Mother Yu sighed self-deprecatingly, lit her hookah. The thing had a mild smell, perfect for reminiscing about the past: "I'll tell you when you've made a name for yourself in Yunzhou and have the ability to take revenge."

*
The morning Zhaozhao left, the sky seemed to be filled with tears.

She slung her bundle over her shoulder, clutched her pipa and moon lute, and whispered to the two figures, one large and one small, on the bed, "Mother, sister, I'm leaving."

Just when I thought I wouldn't get a response, I opened the door and heard Yao Niang's cold voice behind me: "Don't come back if you leave."

Zhao Zhao's hand froze on the doorknob. She turned around and met Yao Niang's gloomy face: "Why?"

"That's not a place for you," Yao Niang said through gritted teeth. "Why do you think they chose you? Because you can play the zither, or because you're pretty? There's something fishy going on!"

Since that incident, she hadn't spoken to Zhaozhao for a long time, and it was rare for her to speak to her so harshly.

Zhao Zhao sneered and retorted, "If I don't go to Yunzhou and try to make money, what will you and Aheng do? Now you need to take medicine, and Aheng needs to take medicine too. The expenses are quite high. I can't afford it even if I drain myself dry. I earned some spare change a few days ago, which can cover temporary expenses, but it's like sitting on a mountain of money and not earning any... Besides, what will I do in the future? Mother, I'm not willing to rot in this brothel and be a prostitute for the rest of my life. Do you understand?"

Yao Niang's tense face gradually darkened, as if she had aged more than ten years in an instant: "Zhao Zhao'er, I'm begging you, don't go."

Whenever Yao Niang showed this expression, Zhao Zhao knew that she was about to be entangled in family ties and filial piety again.

She reached out to pull Zhao Zhao away, but Zhao Zhao dodged and said coldly, "Mother, I'm leaving."

After saying that, Zhao Zhao pushed open the door and went out. As she passed the building in front, she ran into Xiao Duo.

As dawn broke and no guests arrived in the building yet, he stood on the storytelling platform that Madam Yu had set up for him, his figure lonely and forlorn.

The room was empty. He nervously rubbed the small gavel in his hand, forcing an awkward smile.

"Zhao Zhao'er, are you leaving already?"

Zhao Zhao nodded, then chuckled and said, "You promised to sit on my shoulders and be steadily carried to the beds of various masters... but suddenly you're leaving."

Zhao Zhao laughed: "Silly Xiao Duo, I'm here to find ways to make money, not to sell at a high price."

The curtain behind them was lifted, and Yun'er, who had finished getting ready, peeked out, glanced at the two of them, and said to Zhao Zhao, "Let's go, Steward Sun's carriage is waiting at the city gate."

Zhao Zhao and Yun'er, carrying one large and one small umbrella, walked into the vast rain and mist. Only when their figures could no longer be seen did Xiao Duo dare to stand in the rain and call out the words from her heart: "Zhao Zhao'er, you must come back!"

With half a month to go before the prefect's birthday celebration, Steward Sun was not in a hurry. After leaving Qingyang County, he went to several neighboring counties.

More and more people were being brought in, and each county's prostitutes rode in a large horse-drawn carriage. During the day, they followed Manager Sun around, and at night, once they entered the inn, they were like a flock of chirping little sparrows entering a birdcage.

A few days ago everyone was getting along fine, but then, for some reason, people started gossiping about a certain girl in the middle of the night:

"In this sweltering heat, we should be heading straight back to Yunzhou. Why do we insist on going to Puyang County?"

"Who knows! Puyang County is very far from Yunzhou. Grandma Sun said she was going to pick someone up, but who knows which powerful figure is causing everyone to suffer along with her!"

Zhao Zhao pressed her ear against the wall, listening to the sounds from the next room.

"How ignorant!" a seasoned young lady scoffed. "Apart from Wang Liuer, who else in the Yunzhou brothels would warrant Grandma Sun personally picking them up?"

"Wang Liuer? The new top courtesan?"

"Last winter, the red flowers and birds were all over the place, how come they've turned into willows in the blink of an eye?"

The voices gradually lowered, turning into whispers, occasionally punctuated by soft laughter, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes pitying.

I can't hear you clearly.

Zhao Zhao shrank back onto the bed and patted Yun'er's shoulder: "Sister Yun'er, who is Wang Liu'er?"

Yun'er was too hot to sleep, her temples were damp with sweat, and she waved her fan irritably: "I hadn't heard of this person when I was borrowed to the official banquet half a year ago. I don't know where he came from."

Suddenly, Yun'er stopped fanning herself and said blankly, "I remember now, I've heard people talk about her."

Zhao Zhao took the fan and helped fan the air: "Could it be a stunning beauty who has suddenly appeared out of nowhere?"

Yun'er shook her head: "If she were more beautiful than everyone else, why would so many people laugh at her for being cheap?"

"Slut?" Zhao Zhao frowned slightly. "We're all low-class whores, why pick that word to insult her?"

“Her,” Yun’er sighed, “I heard from people that she was thrown at the entrance of the brothel on a snowy day, naked and covered in bruises from being violated, and pregnant with who knows how many dead babies… A girl from a good family, I don’t know why she ended up as a prostitute.”

"She's so pitiful, why are people calling her cheap?"

"When she first entered the brothel, everyone felt sorry for her. The previous head courtesan was from the same hometown as her and took extra care of her, introducing her to many officials and wealthy merchants." Yun'er changed the subject, "Who would have thought that she would steal her benefactor's clients? The previous head courtesan was a proud girl who made a living with her talent, how could she outmaneuver her dirty tricks? Not long after, the previous head courtesan, betrayed by her lover, committed suicide by swallowing gold, and she naturally became the new head courtesan."

"She is ungrateful, but ultimately it's because men can't control their lust, so there's no reason to blame her entirely."

"What kind of monsters and demons aren't there in the world of romance? If it were just a matter of ingratitude, not everyone would condemn her as despicable."

Zhao Zhao asked curiously, "What else did she do?"

(End of this chapter)