spoiled brat

Chapter 34, Section 33: Against the Current (Part 3)

According to the rules in the brothel, when a novice prostitute has her period, it means she has come of age and is ready to be sexually active.

When Zhao Zhao does something bad, she always feels like an adult, but when it comes to this kind of thing, she wishes she could stay a child forever.

Xiao Duo nodded, blushed, and left.

He returned shortly after, too embarrassed to even enter the door, and stood outside saying:

"Zhao Zhao'er, Sister Yun'er is here."

The door was pushed open, and Yun'er squeezed in. Seeing the blood-stained hay and blood-soaked clothes on the ground, she cried out in distress:
"My little darling, why are you all so disheveled... You're almost fourteen, didn't your mother prepare anything for you?"

Zhao Zhao shook her head. Yao Niang is heavily pregnant and needs her care. How could she have time to take care of her?

The last time she went to deliver medicine, she finally ran into Yao Niang who was awake, but the two didn't exchange more than a few words.

Yao Niang asked Zhao Zhao if something had happened lately, as she seemed unhappy. Zhao Zhao didn't dare tell her what she had been doing behind her back, so she gave a few perfunctory words and slipped away.

Yun'er opened the small bag in her hand, inside were several clean dresses, as well as toilet paper and strips of cloth.

She explained how to use it to Zhaozhao, and then sighed, "I'm still a child myself, and I'm about to become a mother again."

Zhao Zhao was confused, so Yun'er explained, "How could Yao Niang's body handle a child? After she gave birth, she'd just leave the baby for you to take care of. In the end, wouldn't you be the one to be the mother?"

"It's nothing." Zhao Zhao lowered her head and stuffed straw paper into the cloth bag as Yun'er had taught her. "I can support two people."

Yun'er gave a self-deprecating laugh: "That's true. People like us with lowly lives are easy to feed. We can survive as long as we have food... As for delicious food or fun activities, we don't even dare to think about them."

That's how Zhao Zhao grew up.

When she was little, she always liked to lie on the balcony of the building in front of her and look out onto the street, watching girls her age riding on their fathers' shoulders, holding sugar figurines or puppets, with bright smiles on their faces, as happy and carefree as little birds about to fly away.

Zhao Zhao watched from afar, feeling neither envy nor sadness, but rather utterly weary.

The wandering ghosts glimpse the weariness of their past lives in the mortal world across the Bridge of Helplessness.

“I won’t let my younger siblings live that kind of life,” Zhao Zhao said.

Yun'er laughed, mercilessly exposing her thoughts: "Do you think that just because you helped Mama Yu get some money, she'll treat you like a human being? Aren't your sister a prostitute and your brother a pimp?"

Zhao Zhao paused, realizing that was indeed what she thought.

“I know Madam Yu better than you do,” Yun’er said. “Before I hung the lamp, I helped her earn some money, and she praised me. I was delusional, thinking she really treated me like a daughter… But what happened in the end? I still ended up as a prostitute.”

No wonder Madam Yu gave her an extra sum of money back then.

Zhao Zhao originally thought it was a reward, but now it seems to be a way of drawing a line and repaying a favor with money.

This also tells Zhao Zhao that even close brothers should keep clear accounts; the two are still in a relationship of prostitute and madam, and she still has to sell herself.

“Zhao Zhao’er, I know you’re proud and unwilling to be a prostitute and submit to others… but being born into a brothel, you can’t escape your fate of using your looks to serve others.” Yun’er said softly, “If you don’t want to die, then cover up your period and don’t let anyone know. You can barely maintain your innocence for a year or two.” After saying that, Yun’er got up and left.

Zhao Zhao pondered Yun'er's words, remained silent for a while, got up, wiped herself clean with water, changed into the clean clothes Yun'er had given her, and pushed open the door.

Xiao Duo had been waiting outside the door, too embarrassed to go in. Upon seeing Zhao Zhao, he quickly asked with concern:
"...Zhao Zhao'er, does your stomach hurt?"

He was a sociable man and had overheard girls discussing these things. They all said that the first time you have your period is the most painful, like a hand is churning inside your stomach, making you so painful you can't straighten up.

Although Zhao Zhao's condition wasn't quite as severe, it wasn't much better. Her face was as pale as paper, and fine beads of sweat glistened on her forehead. Her voice was as soft as the wind.

"Little Duo, lend me a hand, I need to go see Aunt Yu."

When she was young, Madam Yu was an exceptionally beautiful woman, who could outshine all the other beauties in the competitive music academy.

When she was seventeen, a minor official wanted to redeem her as his wife. Madam Yu was overjoyed for a long time, and she couldn't sleep the night before she left the brothel.

But when Madam Yu got off the bridal sedan chair, she discovered that the man already had a wife. Fooled, Madam Yu poisoned the man and then used her connections to escape justice.

She later married several men—rich, powerful, talented, and handsome—but without exception, they were all short-lived, only able to accompany Yu's mother for a short while before passing away and being separated from her by death.

When 23-year-old Madam Yu arrived at Su Chunfeng carrying her bundle, the previous madam took a liking to her at first sight.

The madam asked her where she had worked and what she had sold herself in the past, what she had learned and what she had gained over the years.
Yu's mother said she had been to many places, but never sold anything.

As for what was left behind and what was learned—

Mother Yu placed the bundle on her back onto the table, the urns inside rattling loudly. They contained the remains of the men who had married her, who had died mysteriously and were all packed into urns to accompany Mother Yu on her travels across the country.

However, these are all things of the past.

The men who were once buried in Yu's ashes now lie in flowerpots, where various flowers and plants grow lushly. Yu is old and can no longer remember their names, so she calls them by the names of the plants that grow on their ashes.

When Zhao Zhao walked outside the courtyard, Yu's mother was holding a fat cat by the scruff of its neck and scolded it irritably, "Jin Hua, how many times have I told you not to pee on Xiao Pu all the time!"

Xiao Pu was a plump dandelion, and also Yu Mama's third or fourth man. He was talented and handsome, but unfortunately, he was unlucky. One night, while taking a walk in the yard, he lost his footing and fell into the well, where he drowned.

As for why he drowned in his own yard?

Yu's mother claimed that she had devoted herself to Buddhism since she learned to kill at the age of seventeen, and had been a virtuous and kind person for thirty years, never committing any murder.

Zhao Zhao believed it, believed it beyond belief. She pointed to a pot of evergreen plants, inside which a cat was burying its droppings, digging at the soil with a soft, plopping sound.
"Mom, Xiaoqing's grave is going to be dug up."

Xiaoqing was Yu's mother's first husband, the first man who made her fall for his tricks.

"Him?" Mother Yu smiled and threw the golden flower in her hand into the pot of evergreen. "Go, Golden Flower, you can scatter them there from now on."

Zhao Zhao stood under the quiet shade of the trees, looking at the profile of Yu's mother, whose face had aged, and smelling the fragrance of the flowers and plants cultivated from her ashes. She couldn't help but wonder if she would end up like Yu's mother.
There is a quiet, empty courtyard, many silent cats, pots of deceased lovers she once loved but who were killed by her own hands, and herself, who is neither human nor ghost.

(End of this chapter)