spoiled brat

Chapter 3. A Crossroads (Part 3)

At night, Yao Niang held up a candle and examined Zhao Zhao's back. The whip marks were deep, and the wounds had stuck to her inner shirt, leaving a bloody mess.

"Zhao Zhao'er, bear with the pain..." Yao Niang's voice was choked with sobs.

She picked up the scissors, intending to cut off the piece of fabric stuck to the wound, but heard Zhao Zhao calmly say, "Mother, I'm not afraid of pain, just tear it off."

She grew up being beaten, which honed her cleverness and shrewdness, and she also developed an exceptional ability to endure pain.

She was very skilled at this; she only needed to endure the pain to save on a piece of clothing.

Yao Niang wiped away her tears, her hand trembling as she touched her blood-stained clothes, and said, "Bear with it."

The pain was swallowed tightly between Zhao Zhao's teeth, not a drop escaped.

Large beads of cold sweat appeared on her forehead. After calming herself down, she spat out the handkerchief and forced a smile: "The soldier's whip looked intimidating, but it wasn't as bad as the one Yu Mama hit me with."

Zhao Zhao was strong-willed, so Yao Niang didn't dare to show her much concern.

She deftly cleaned the wound and began applying medicine:
“Zhao Zhao’er…you should rest in bed for the next few days. I have the strength to help you with the work in the backyard…I’ll go and ask Mother Yu to stop you from playing music in the front building for now…”

That won't do. We never keep idle people in this building.

Yao Niang is now heavily pregnant and too heavy to move, let alone do any work. When she rests, Zhao Zhao has to take over the load.

Zhao Zhao's nose stung with tears, but she controlled her tone and said, "It's just a minor injury, it doesn't hurt much, I don't want to rest."

Zhao Zhao often forgets that she is only thirteen years old and still a child.

Only those with powerful backers can be children. She had no backers and came from a family of prostitutes, so how could she dare to be weak?

From the day she could walk, she knew she couldn't be a delicate, pampered young lady.

She has to fight and snatch by any means necessary to avoid being devoured by snakes, insects, rats, and ants until nothing is left but bones.

Reaching under her pillow, Zhao Zhao stroked the plain jade hairpin, its cool, smooth surface like frost and snow under the moon, spotless and dust-free.

Zhao Zhao closed her eyes, but the image of the girl's gentle and compassionate glance back, and her hand that she wanted to touch but then withdrew, floated into her mind.

As she thought about it, tears welled up in her eyes. She covered her head and fell asleep with her tears streaming down her face.

-

The next day, just as dawn broke, Yu's mother came to give her a lecture.

She lifted Zhao Zhao's clothes, examined the wound, and said with a dark face:

"I warned you before, never let your appearance be ruined."

Zhao Zhao is good-looking, and Mother Yu is hoping to make a fortune by selling her Chu Hong.

She has a scar now, on her back where no one can see it, but she definitely won't be able to ask for a high price in the future.

Seeing that Yu's mother looked slightly annoyed, Zhao Zhao guessed that she was weighing the pros and cons in her mind, wondering whether it was worthwhile to keep the mother and daughter in the brothel.

So he took out the plain jade hairpin from under his pillow and handed it over:
"Mom, I'm ignorant and don't know what this is. Could you please take a look?"

Yu's mother's eyes, which had been squeezed into slits by the meat, lit up instantly. After examining and admiring it closely, she became quite interested:

"Where did it come from?"

Made with precious materials and exquisite craftsmanship, this is clearly not an item that ordinary wealthy families could afford.

Although he didn't know which young lady had saved him yesterday, he had no choice but to use her for the sake of putting on a show.

Zhao Zhao laughed and said, "Do you only know that I was beaten, but don't know that I struck up a conversation with the nobleman?"

Mother Yu stroked the jade hairpin, saying with some doubt:

"I've heard a few things about that. Zhao Zhao'er, do you know whose group those people belong to?"

Looking back on yesterday, Zhao Zhao couldn't recall any identification marks on the ceremonial procession.

But it wasn't entirely without clues... The head guard spoke fluent Mandarin from the capital, and the maid addressed her as "Princess."

"Mom, I'm not very knowledgeable, how could I possibly recognize someone's expertise at a glance?"

Zhao Zhao, not wanting to play the clever card, honestly asked, "I was just about to ask you, who exactly is this phoenix prince descendant from the north who has troops in his hands?"

Madam Yu put down the hairpin and sneered disdainfully, "Who is she? Just a caged beast!"

Although Su Chunfeng was a second-rate brothel, it welcomed and saw off a great many guests from both the north and south. As the madam, Madam Yu knew a lot of information that ordinary people couldn't access.

Seeing the hint of mockery in her eyes, Zhao Zhao leaned down and asked, "Why?"

"You encountered the Ning Prince's forces yesterday."

Mother Yu sat down, lit her pipe, and puffed on it slowly.

“You are too young to know who Prince Ning is. He is the emperor’s younger brother and has been stationed in the north for many years to kill barbarians.”

"Last year in the middle of the year, there was a great victory in Jizhou, right? The Emperor was overjoyed and, remembering his hard work and great achievements, rewarded him with ten thousand acres of fertile land and allowed him to retire and return to his hometown."

Zhao Zhao frowned. She was young and didn't understand politics, but she could tell what was going on.

The Emperor, having crossed the river, burned the bridge, stripping Prince Ning of his military power and then enfeoffing Prince Ning and his family in the interior, keeping them under his watchful eye.

"So, the important person you mentioned is nothing more than a fish in a pond or a bird in a cage; he can't cause any trouble."

Madam Yu smiled and said, "Great achievements can become crimes... If the Emperor has a restless night in the capital, he can find a crime to charge them with and their whole family will lose their heads."

Zhao Zhao felt a chill run through her body, and a scene of hell flashed through her mind—

The girl who had saved her was wearing prison clothes and kneeling under the executioner's blade. Zhao Zhao prayed to all the gods and Buddhas in her heart, saying a thousand times that she was willing to give her life for the girl's, but in the end, the girl's head was still cut off, and blood engulfed Zhao Zhao like a red sea.

Seeing her in a daze, Yu's mother picked up the ointment on the table and casually applied it to her wound.

The medicine was so potent it pierced to the bone. When Zhao Zhao came to her senses, she cried out in pain and hissed as she gasped for breath.

Mother Yu handed over a pipe: "Take a puff, it'll relieve the pain."

Zhao Zhao took a puff, choked and coughed, then waved her hand and pushed the pipe away.

Mother Yu smiled and said, "You'll need it someday."

"Will I ever need this?" That's not a lucky saying. People only need this thing when they are suffering. Zhao Zhao would rather never need it in her entire life.

But Yu's mother couldn't hear her thoughts. She put out the embers of the pipe and put the pipe and a bag of tobacco on the table.

"It's for you, Zhao Zhao'er."

Mother Yu was a strange woman, as unpredictable and ever-changing as the clouds in the sky—

She becomes vicious and cruel when she thinks about the stupid things she has done; she becomes gentle and compassionate when she thinks about the people she has wronged.

But while she was gentle and compassionate, Yu's mother was extremely calculating when it came to money.

She wouldn't give Zhao Zhao anything for nothing, nor would she be fooled by Zhao Zhao's few words.

Feeling uneasy after receiving her kindness, Zhao Zhao asked, "Mom, is there anything I can do for you?"

Yu's mother shook her head: "Let's talk about it when you're better."

In the following days, she did not assign Zhao Zhao any heavy work, nor did she let Zhao Zhao go to the front building to play music despite her injury.

Xiao Duo was amazed that Yu's mother could be kind-hearted at times, but Zhao Zhao felt uneasy, as she had a feeling that Yu's mother was going to send her to do something difficult.

One night, Zhao Zhao had already gone to sleep when there was a loud knocking on the door.

The person who came was Xiao Duo, who looked uneasy. He said, "Zhao Zhao'er, Mother Yu wants you to go to the west courtyard."

Zhao Zhao put on her clothes and left the house, walking with Xiao Duo under the moonlight to the west courtyard.

The spring night was slightly chilly, and Zhao Zhao, dressed in thin clothes, felt a chill run down her spine.

She guessed what they were going to do and asked directly, "Which girl is pregnant?"

Brothels had a range of contraceptive methods, but most prostitutes still couldn't avoid getting pregnant.

If a woman becomes pregnant, she has to have an abortion. Everyone thinks this is bad luck and a disgraceful act, and no one will do it even if they are offered money. So, the abortion can only be done by Yu's mother herself.

In order to keep Yao Niang living in the building, Zhao Zhao took over this terrible job from Mama Yu.

From now on, her hands would be covered in blood that could never be washed clean. Xiao Duo lowered her head and said dejectedly, "It's Sister Yun'er."

Yun'er is the prettiest girl in the building, with a fiery personality and a clear mind.

She acted like a pure courtesan, teasing men like dogs, and there were dozens, if not hundreds, of men who fell for her.

Normally, those men would spend all their money but never even get to touch Yun'er's hand, let alone have a kiss.

Zhao Zhao frowned: "What kind of man could get her into bed?"

"It's that place that lends money at exorbitant interest rates..."

Before Xiao Duo could finish speaking, the two had already reached the west courtyard, from which came Yun'er's heart-wrenching cries:

"Zhao Si, you son of a bitch... I'll kill your ancestors for eighteen generations!"

Before even entering the house, I could smell the strong stench of blood.

This taste is familiar to Zhao Zhao; pregnant women often experience this after drinking cold soup.

That stuff is made from safflower and mercury. If you drink a bowl of it, the baby in your belly will die shortly afterward, and then you just need to expel the stillborn fetus.

This method sounds simple, but the woman suffers immense pain during the process, feeling as if her entire body is on fire and ice.

There are many complications after miscarriage, ranging from mild poisoning to death.

Perhaps the pain was too much, because Yun'er, who had drunk the cold soup, started to cry as she cursed.

The door was pushed open, and a young maid came out carrying a basin of bloody water. She looked at Zhaozhao as if she had seen a savior.

"Sister Zhao Zhao, you're finally here..."

Zhao Zhao avoided the hopeful light in her eyes and comforted her, "Don't worry, Sister Yun'er will be fine."

After saying that, she told Xiao Duo to wait outside and then went inside.

The candlelight inside the room was dim, and the blood on the floor was so red it looked black.

Following the trail of blood, I saw Yun'er lying on the bed, her limbs bound with ropes. Her pale face was streaked with tears and sweat, and her voice was hoarse from crying.

"You heartless bastard...you knew perfectly well that I'm afraid of pain..."

Zhao Zhao dampened a handkerchief with warm water, wiped the sweat from Yun'er's forehead, placed her hand in Yun'er's, and whispered:
"Sister Yun'er, if it hurts, hold me tight. It won't hurt anymore after this."

In fact, Zhao Zhao knew, and Yun'er knew too—the real pain was yet to come.

Mother Yu sent her here to watch over Yun'er during her miscarriage.

If a bowl of cold soup doesn't induce a miscarriage, then a second bowl, a third bowl... If that still doesn't work, then Zhao Zhao will have to personally kill or strangle the fetus in Yun'er's womb.

Yun'er, tears streaming down her face, laughed a sorrowful yet self-deprecating laugh:
"It's one thing for men to lie to me, but you lied to me too."

Zhao Zhao lowered her head and said nothing more.

She knew a little about medicine. She pressed her hand on Yun'er's pulse, and after a moment, her expression turned serious as she removed her hand.

The fetus's pulse is still very strong.

Ordinary families hope for their children and grandchildren to be healthy, but prostitutes hope for the least. A strong and healthy fetus that cannot be born will only cause the mother more suffering.

Zhao Zhao twisted the hem of her dress, turned her head away from Yun'er's pale face, and said with difficulty:

“I can’t come down.”

Tears and sweat soaked Yun'er's hair, strands clinging to her face. Her pale lips trembled.

"Zhaozhao'er, pour me another bowl of cold soup."

The copper kettle for holding the cold soup was on the table, rusty and aged like the face of a woman who had endured countless hardships.

Zhao Zhao poured out a bowl, her hands trembling uncontrollably. Looking at her reflection in the bowl, she felt a chilling sense of unease, thinking that she too would one day face the same fate.

She thought and thought, and with difficulty, she brought the bowl to Yun'er's lips.

Her hands trembled more and more violently, as if someone was crushing her heart. She was so sad that she wanted to cry, as if the person lying in front of her was herself.

Yun'er coaxed her, saying softly, "...Zhao Zhao'er, don't feel sorry for me."

Zhao Zhao held her head, closed her eyes, and resolutely poured the cold soup into her mouth.

The medicine took effect very quickly, and Yun'er cried out in pain as if her bones were being broken.

To prevent the girls from injuring themselves during miscarriages, Madam Yu ordered that their limbs be tied with ropes so they could not move.

Yun'er gripped the rope, several of her fingernails snapped off at the root, and her hands were covered in blood.

Zhao Zhao wanted to hug her, but when she got closer, she realized that she was in so much pain that she was almost grinding her teeth to powder, and blood was seeping from between her teeth.

Yun'er's eyes held no hatred, no anger, only a deathly emptiness, like an abyss that would never sink to its bottom.

"Zhao Zhao'er... give me a quick death... give me a quick death..."

Zhao Zhao hugged her tightly, unable to utter a single word.

Yun'er's tears soaked Zhao Zhao's neck. The shrewd and clever bitch in the eyes of outsiders was now sobbing like a child, saying, "How could I have believed his lies?" and "The person who was the best to me in the world actually lied to me."

In her most confused moment, Yun'er said something utterly ridiculous—

He said he would marry me.

From the time she could walk, Zhao Zhao knew that such nonsense should never be believed.

Most men in the world are fickle; they can't even be faithful to respectable women, so how could they possibly be sincere towards prostitutes?

Even someone as clever as Yun'er fell for a man.

Fortunately, after the second bowl of cold soup was consumed, the fetus died successfully in the womb.

Zhao Zhao gave Yun'er a blood-clotting medicine and helped clean her body.

As dawn broke, Zhao Zhao finally emerged from the house, reeking of blood.

Xiao Duo fell asleep on the steps in front of the door. Rubbing her eyes, she asked Zhao Zhao:

"Is Sister Yun'er alright...?"

Zhao Zhao shook her head, too lazy to say more.

In the crisp morning breeze, she hugged her arms and slowly squatted down, watching the ants carrying twigs on the ground. After a long while, she finally spoke:

"Xiao Duo, will I be like this in the future?"

Xiao Duo didn't say anything. He took out the pipe that Yu's mother had given to Zhao Zhao from his sleeve, lit it with the help of the dying candle under the eaves, and handed it to Zhao Zhao.

Zhao Zhao didn't refuse, took it and took a few puffs, her lips and nose filled with the bitter taste of tobacco.

No wonder Yu's mother said she would need it sooner or later; it turns out that this thing could prevent her from smelling the blood on her body.

Zhao Zhao leaned against the doorpost, smoking intermittently. She was exhausted from the night before and gradually drifted off to sleep.

Zhao Zhao slept very restlessly and dreamed of the Bodhisattva.

The Bodhisattva was not compassionate; instead, her condescending gaze held a mocking pity.

"Zhaozhao, how does it feel to have blood on your hands?"

If he had a kind and gentle appearance, Zhao Zhao wouldn't mind making a big confession in her dream.

But seeing his contempt, Zhao Zhao, who didn't believe in gods or Buddhas, retorted:

"How dare you ask me? Buddha said he would save all sentient beings, so why doesn't he come and save us poor souls?"

The Bodhisattva said coldly, "You have taken lives and are burdened with karmic debts. The Buddha will not save those with karmic obstacles."

"What a load of bull! He's a blind man who can't tell right from wrong, and he can't even distinguish between his enemies and his creditors."

Zhao Zhao sneered, "Am I the culprit? It's clearly that man who seduced and then abandoned me!"

The Bodhisattva laughed heartily, his words laced with sarcasm: "With such a perverse nature, no wonder you will one day tread a crooked path to heaven, treading over mountains of corpses and seas of blood!"