spoiled brat

Chapter 120, Section 119: Lingering Resentment (19)

With powerful enemies outside and treacherous traitors within, and the court's growing suspicion, a northward journey would be extremely perilous.

Zhao Zhao knew all this, but she never expected Xiu Yi to say such a thing:

"Your swordsmanship and archery skills are both first-rate, and with guards protecting you, how could you possibly lose your life? Besides, Your Highness is a brilliant strategist; you will surely turn the tide and quell the rebellion in one fell swoop—"

"If I die," Xiu Yi interrupted, not wanting to hear any nice words, "what would you do?"

"Huh?" Zhao Zhao paused for a moment, then quickly came to her senses and replied perfunctorily, "Of course I will continue to assist the princess and help her manage the region."

"Ah That's good."

Xiu Yi reined in his horse, turned it around, and decided not to continue with Zhao Zhao.

Before leaving, he looked at Zhao Zhao and said, "If I live to see the day I get married, I'll know how to explain it to her."

Zhao Zhao smiled and said, "You said it was a dog bite?"

Xiu Yi said calmly, "I will tell her that I felt sorry for someone when I was seventeen, and this is just part of the price I paid." With that, he rode away.

In the vast expanse of heaven and earth, amidst the silent wind and snow, only Zhao Zhao remained standing still, quietly watching Xiu Yi's departing figure.

She didn't chase after them after all.

-

By the time they arrived at the northern camp, it was already dark.

With the camp about to be broken up, as was customary, there was a three-day feast. After nightfall, the soldiers indulged in drinking and singing.

Looking down from the tower, several soldiers were gambling around a campfire, having a great time, when a horse silently passed by.

They were stunned for a long time before asking, "Was that our young master's horse that just passed by?"

"……Seems to be."

Negligence in defense is a serious crime. The group suddenly sobered up, hurriedly caught up with the horse, and apologized to the people on its back.

"I won't punish you." Xiu Yi lowered his eyes wearily. "Share a pot of wine with me."

Several people brought over a wine pot and presented it with both hands.

Xiu Yi took the horse, dismounted, and led it by the reins, drinking as they went.

Soldiers would greet him and salute him from time to time, but he ignored them all, thinking he was drunk. He stumbled into his tent and fell onto the cold bed.

Gazing at the dark, silent tent ceiling, listening quietly to the singing and erhu playing outside, I felt a sense of desolation, as if I were isolated from the world.

In a state between sleep and wakefulness, the tent flap is lifted; why bother saying:
"Sir, why aren't you burning charcoal or lighting lamps? It's so lively outside, but here you are so desolate."

After receiving no response for a while, He Bi assumed Xiu Yi was asleep and was about to start a fire when he heard him say, "Don't light it."

He had no choice but to blow out the fire: "Sir, you didn't want me to come with you earlier, where did you go? You're only coming back now."

"Going to do something foolish," Xiu Yi said calmly.

Why not ask more probing questions? He hesitated before saying, "...His Highness requests your presence at the main tent."

Everyone knows that the father and son don't get along.

On the battlefield, they advanced side by side, cooperating flawlessly; yet in daily life, they were always at each other's throats, only softening their stance slightly in front of the Princess and the Crown Princess. Thinking of this, He Bi added, "The Princess has returned to her residence tonight to see the Crown Princess; only the Prince is in the main tent."

Xiu Yi rubbed his temples and stepped outside. Why bother smelling the alcohol emanating from him? He advised:
"Sir, why don't you change your clothes? The Prince just disciplined you for this a few days ago..."

The whip marks on his back still hurt, and Xiu Yi shook his head. He stepped into the main tent, and a guard announced his arrival. He entered, reeking of alcohol.

Zhan Ruoshui sat in front of the sand table, simulating the battle situation. She looked up and saw Xiu Yi's relaxed expression, and frowned, saying:
"You reek of alcohol, are not wearing armor, and do not carry a sword. What kind of general are you? I just punished you for this recently. Have you already forgotten the pain before the wound has even healed?"

"I want to live like a human for one night."

Xiu Yi also sat down, glanced at Zhan Ruoshui's formation, and placed an enemy cavalry insignia at a weak point:

"If you can't bear to see me have even a moment of pleasure, then just end me with one stroke."

"You always complain that I'm too strict with you."

As Zhan Ruoshui adjusted the formation, she sighed:

"Even now, you still don't understand one thing."

"What's the logic behind that?"

"Your grandfather was the founding emperor, and your maternal grandfather was a renowned general whose deeds have been recorded throughout history. As for your mother and me, she was a heroine who was no less capable than any man. I am less so. Although I cannot be considered to have achieved great feats, I have fought in hundreds of battles throughout my life and have lost very few. I am more than capable of defeating the mediocre generals of my time."

In the candlelight, Zhan Ruoshui's expression was solemn. He was thirty-seven years old, and through his lean and sharp features, one could still vaguely see the youthful charm that had long since vanished.
“You were born into a prominent family, someone who was born at the top of the mountain. You are used to being surrounded by people and being the center of attention. You have enjoyed all the glory, but you must also pay the price—you must not be complacent.”

Still slightly tipsy, Xiu Yi chuckled softly.

Zhan Ruoshui thought he was about to say something rebellious, but instead he said, "Just this once." After a moment of silence, he added, "I am truly saddened today."

If it were an ordinary father and son, they could simply ask each other why they were sad.

But they drifted apart, and Zhan Ruoshui knew he wouldn't tell her, so she didn't ask.

The two remained silent, the only sounds in the tent being the crackling of the charcoal fire and the fading sounds of singing and drinking outside, which made one feel desolate.

Finally, Zhan Ruoshui spoke first, saying in a deep voice, "I still remember the first time you went to the battlefield."

At that time, Xiu Yi was still young. Having grown up in the luxurious life of the capital, he developed the habits of a rich kid.

He chose the best-looking horse, and his armor was not heavy or dull. He would never wear a helmet that would mess up his hair. He was willful and undisciplined, and no matter what others said about him, he was only relying on his father's protection and remained unmoved.

Xiu Yi won a great victory in his first battle.

It wasn't that he was particularly capable, but rather that Zhan Ruoshui had assigned a skilled guard who was adept at swordsmanship and warfare. Xiu Yi followed his instructions to employ guerrilla tactics and easily killed two hundred enemies.

"The messenger told me of your great victory in your first battle. I immediately went to your mother and said: 'Young man, you have utterly defeated the enemy!' Your mother was overjoyed and dragged me through half the military camp. When we arrived at your tent, we heard you inside discussing and rewarding the merits of others... That's when we learned that you, despite your excellent archery skills, had not killed a single enemy soldier and had claimed all the credit from others."

Zhan Ruoshui lowered her gaze to her rough palm:
“That was the first time I hit you, I gave you twenty lashes. You took it without a sound and were sick in bed for half a month. One day I wanted to come and see you, but a general handed me a letter that you had sent back to the capital. You begged the emperor to summon you back, saying that you didn’t want to go to the battlefield to kill people, and that you wanted to go back to the capital to be with Xiu Ning.”

Recalling his childhood ignorance, Xiu Yi said with self-deprecation, "You saw my words full of weakness and dragged me outside the tent while I was sick and gave me a good beating."

"No matter how much Mother tried to persuade me, I couldn't stop. I was beaten half to death. Before you left, you told me that I could die on the battlefield and be hacked to pieces by the enemy, but I couldn't live weakly as a rich young man who watched from the sidelines. You will no longer send guards to protect me. If I don't have the ability to escape from the mountains of corpses and seas of blood, then I might as well die sooner."

Zhan Ruoshui's expression instantly darkened, as if she had suddenly aged several years:

"You remember it so clearly, you must resent your father for this."

“Resentment?” Xiu Yi shook his head. “I didn’t resent you the most here.”