Forest Farm 1985: Raise a bear cub to climb the mountain

Chapter 218 Regrets of the Past (Four in One)
"No." Dai Song refused bluntly, and then added when Li Qinghai was confused and puzzled,

"Because I'm ready. We'll set out from Tuanjietun tomorrow. I'll have Erhan follow the scent and track down the places where the Sumao people crossed the border, and then..."

Dai Song explained the plan and action details to Li Qinghai, and the puzzlement on the latter's face gradually disappeared and turned into excitement.
When Dai Song finished speaking, he said "good" three times.
“Take me one!
I was wondering why you would reject me, but after all this time, it turns out you picked your own gang.

It doesn't matter who chooses to join the gang. I'm an old man now, and I don't really care about fame or wealth.

As long as you let me go with you and help the Sumao people, I will have no regrets even if I die on the way!"

"Li Pao, what you said is not pleasant to hear. Why are you cursing yourself with such unlucky words before we even set out?
You can still live..."

"Hey~" Li Qinghai interrupted Dai Song's flattery.

"Don't flatter me. I know my own body very well. If I don't do anything, I will die in eight or nine years."

Hearing what Li Qinghai said, Dai Song's eyes couldn't help but dim a little.

In his previous life, he was such a jerk. Li Qinghai taught him all his skills, but in the end, he failed to show filial piety to others.
When he thought of putting the skills he had taught him to use, it happened to be the time when guns and hunting were banned, and many animals were listed as protected animals and rare species.
Later on, you couldn't just pick any fruit from any tree on the mountain. Before touching it, you had to take out your phone to take a picture and search what it was to make sure it was a protected species.

In the end, Li Qinghai's inheritance was wasted and he had to go out and work as a bricklayer.

In this life, although there is no direct master-disciple relationship,
But I remember clearly the events of sending bullets, giving flower mushrooms, fighting for black bears, and fighting wild boar gods.

Taking the kindness of two lifetimes into consideration, he really should consider the old man's life and reject his idea.

Li Qinghai seemed to see Dai Song's dilemma and said hurriedly,
"Song, you must let me go with you!
You see, for this trip, I simply sent all the valuables in my house to the town and gave them to my son. "

"Huh?" Dai Song was surprised. "Li Pao, you're not going to go? If you do this and burn your boats, I won't dare to take you with me!"

“No, no.” Li Qinghai shook his hands repeatedly, “You kid, you just asked me not to curse myself, don’t you have more on your mind?

I plan to retire after this job and then retire.

If this trip out of the mountains goes smoothly, the wolf problem will be gradually solved. Those militiamen have been following us for almost a month. Although they have not learned much, they are more than capable of dealing with these Su-mao wolves. Even if we give up, there are still people who can take over.

I plan to go to the forest farm and find a job to support my parents, to watch over the gate, and to spend my days there.
It just so happens that you are going to report to the forest farm after the New Year, so we can have a companion. I will go to have tea and chat with you then.

It's better than staying in the village and watching all those shitty people and things going on!"

Dai Song breathed a sigh of relief, then scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.
"You scared me. I thought you, Lao Li Pao, had let go of everything and were ready to risk everything to kill him."

"Hehe!" Li Qinghai said as he fished out a small tea can from under the table. There was a tinkling and clanging sound inside, which was totally different from the sound that tea leaves could make.
"Song, did you bring a water bottle? I gave most of the stuff in my house to my son, and I only have some basic supplies. I don't have anything good to treat you. Bring me your water bottle and I'll make you something good to drink!"

Dai Song blinked his eyes and said, "Old Li Pao, I carried a water bottle with me at that time, but that thing was not convenient to carry at all.

Besides, I will only be here for a while, and will leave after I finish my business, so I don’t need to bother you to make me a hot pot…”

Dai Song was halfway through his words when his throat seemed to be choked.

Li Qinghai on the opposite side opened the tea can, and inside were small brown-red slices cut into pieces.

"Is this, deer antler?" Dai Song stretched his neck.

"Not only that, there are also old ginseng slices!" Li Qinghai brought the tea can in and shook it slightly. Amidst the crisp clinking sounds, some ginseng slices that had sunk to the bottom jumped and floated onto the deer antler slices. Dai Song's eyes immediately widened.

No wonder the old man, who is old and has chronic diseases, is still in such good health despite staying up late every day this month.
It turns out that there is this thing supporting it!
While thinking about it, Dai Song had already taken out a small cloth bag containing bear gall.
"I didn't bring a kettle, but I did bring this. If Lao Li Pao is willing to give it to me, he can give me some. I can still make more when I go back~"

"Hey! You're amazing, you never come back empty-handed every time you come to my place!"

Although Li Qinghai cursed, he still took the small cloth bag from Dai Song's hand, opened it, and poured nearly a third of the liquid into it.

It seemed that she felt that what she had given was too little, and she was a little embarrassed, so she frowned and pouted, hardened her heart, and poured a little more in.

This time, almost half of it was poured in directly, which made the old man so distressed that his eyebrows and beard were almost wrinkled.

But he was too embarrassed to take the money out after pouring it into the small cloth bag, so he had to tighten the bag and throw it into Dai Song's arms, waving his hands repeatedly.

"Take it, take it! Seriously, you've eaten so much of me, now you have to take me with you, otherwise you won't be able to go back tonight!"

Dai Song felt helpless when he saw Li Qinghai acting like a child, but he didn't want to take risks with this old man.

If he really became heroic on the road, then his reincarnation would be in vain. It would not be pleasant to have the knot in his heart for two lifetimes.
So I changed my mindset and started playing the emotional card.
"Li Pao, actually the last time I came here I wanted to ask you, are you and your son?"

"Oh..." Li Qinghai's face, which had originally looked like an old naughty boy, suddenly became a little older.
"This matter has always been a source of worry for me."

As he said this, he looked at the place on the wall where the photo of the family of three was originally hung.

Of course, the place is now bare, with only a rusty old nail standing there stubbornly.

It was like the lonely old man in front of Dai Song, who didn't have to shoulder the responsibility of the family and didn't know what role he had left.
Even more powerless to pull oneself out of the past that has been deeply rooted for decades.

Not only are they unable to change themselves, they have also lost their original functions and sense of being needed.

"If you don't feel comfortable telling me, just pretend I didn't ask."

"Is there anything inconvenient to say?" Li Qinghai smiled bitterly.

"I, Li Qinghai, have always been brave enough to take responsibility for my actions. I have no reason not to admit my mistakes.

Haha, just consider it as an admission of guilt for the ridiculous decision I made back then.

The saddest thing about older people is that once they make a mistake, they don’t even have a chance to regret or admit it.”

Li Qinghai said this, sitting cross-legged, with a solemn expression.
"My son should have just been a sophomore in high school that year. Songzi, can you calculate for me if he was a sophomore at the age of 17?"

Dai Song's mouth twitched. How could this father be so careless? Was it because the child was a son?

The key point is already so out of place, and I still can't understand why my son is not close to me?

"Um, about the same. My sister will be 17 after the Chinese New Year and will be in the second half of her first year of high school."

"Oh, I remember it right then~" Li Qinghai pouted and continued,
"My son's grades are pretty good. His mother told me that he was ranked in the top 100 in Liaoning Province. The teacher advised my family that my son could repeat a year, because we had heard rumors that the college entrance examination would be resumed.

Then my wife and I both thought it was a good idea. If I repeat a year, I can learn more solidly. If I can really get into university, I can leave the mountains completely and no longer have to dig for food in the mud or snatch food from the mouths of mountain animals.

But my son was not happy about it, because he had planned to return here after finishing high school and become a teacher in town.

I have to repeat a year for nothing, plus two years of university tuition. I don’t know how much it will cost. It’s too much of a burden for my family.”

Seeing Dai Song's puzzled expression, Li Qinghai explained,

“You wouldn’t believe it, but my family’s conditions were actually the worst in Shisong Village.

Otherwise, why would I risk going to the mountains to hunt?

If there was no other choice, who would be willing to do such a risky job?
Not only do I have to support my son to study in another city, but my wife is also not in good health. Ultimately, it is my fault.
I was so busy hunting that I hardly took care of household affairs. During those years, she was the one doing most of the work in the team and she was the one who earned most of the money.

As for me, if I caught something, I wouldn't dare sell it. If I sold it, the nature of the thing would change and I would be punished!
I only dared to exchange it for some food and daily necessities. The key point was that the things I had to carry around in the mountains couldn't be exchanged for much. It can be said that my family basically relied on my wife to support us during those years.

How can a woman bear doing the farm work of two people every day for a long time?

When you get a little older, you can’t handle it anymore and become sickly.”

Dai Song blinked and asked,
"Then why don't you help the old lady share some of the work, Old Li Pao?"

This question may seem to be of low EQ, but it actually hits the point where Li Qinghai was stuck.
When the latter heard Dai Song's question, it was as if a boil had been stabbed, and the pus inside instantly spurted out.

"Why--!"

A long sigh.

"I also want to help my wife share the burden, but I'm not born with the ability to farm!

Don’t even mention that everything you plant will die. If I step on the ridges twice, I’ll have no harvest by the middle of the year, not to mention next year!”

"Huh? So mysterious?"

"Yeah!" Li Qinghai beat his chest and stamped his feet. "At that time, the land that my family was responsible for made me work hard for two years. As a result, I owed the team a lot of food. Otherwise, how could my family's situation be so bad!"

Dai Song grinned, thinking that this physique was too amazing. It must be God who forced him to eat this bowl of rice. He couldn't even smell the smell of other bowls.

Li Qinghai continued,
"At that time, my wife was in poor health, so she could only rest at home and do manual work to reduce expenses. Everything depended on me going into the mountains.
It was also during those years that I began to summarize hunting techniques, my abilities grew, I made more and more friends, and I was able to exchange more things.
In addition, the higher-ups were more relaxed, so I was able to take mountain products to the team to pay back the money, and that’s how I was able to barely cover the expenses for my family.

Otherwise my son would have no money to finish high school.

This is also the reason why my son doesn’t want to go to college and wants to come back early to teach.

Firstly, being a teacher is a very popular profession. Not only does it provide a stable income, but it also brings honor to us.

Secondly, his job as a teacher in the town includes free food and accommodation, and he also has the opportunity to get welfare housing. If he works hard for a few years, he can take us to the town to live there in our old age.

Then we had a long argument with him about going to college.

After I told him several times what the teacher had said and what I had heard from my old friends, he finally agreed to repeat a year and wait for the college entrance examination to be resumed.

At that time, my wife and I were very happy because my son is really smart. How does that saying go?

He is the God of Literature who has descended to earth, born to study and pursue a career in officialdom!
But on the other hand, my wife’s health was not good. She couldn’t make a pair of insoles after working all day at home.

I am the same when I go out as when I come back.

At first I thought she was just happy and didn't want to work, thinking about going to town with her son to enjoy a good life, so I even laughed at her for that."

Li Qinghai said, brushing his hand across his eyes, sighed, and continued,
"Later I realized something was wrong, her excitement lasted for too long, to the point where I could feel her tossing and turning at night and not sleeping.

Then my mental state was not very good during the day, and my body lost weight quickly. I didn’t look happy or excited at all.

The most important thing is that I noticed that her hands were shaking when she held the chopsticks. If I had reacted at that time and taken her to another place for proper medical treatment, she wouldn’t have died so young…”

Dai Song was startled.
Hand shaking, insomnia at night, weight loss, and if I'm not mistaken, there may be menstrual problems, but the old man is so thick-skinned that he probably won't notice these.

These are definitely signs of thyroid disease!
"I discovered the problem one night when my wife couldn't sleep because of the pain in her neck. She curled up in bed and bit the quilt.

The bedding was being torn with a rustling sound, the cloth was torn apart. I was a light sleeper, so I heard the noise and asked her what happened.

My silly wife...she didn't want me to know at the time, she lied to me..."

Li Qinghai burst into tears, and big, turbid tears rolled down from his clear eyes.

Tears as sticky as glue rolled across the wrinkles on his face and dripped onto the kang mat and the kang table, like crystal pearls, filled with the old man's most sincere and warm emotions.

"She said she had just had a dream in which she and her son were having a delicious meal in town. She found that she couldn't bite off a piece of meat, so she pulled it hard. As a result, she woke up and found herself chewing on the quilt.

But I clearly saw tears on her face!

Just turn on the light.

I will never forget that night. In the end, it was my wife who comforted me and helped me to stay strong.

She told me that the child still had a bright future, and even if she was gone, she would still support the child to keep going.

She didn't plan to waste money on treatment. She had inquired about this disease in the village and found that it was incurable. Even if it could be cured temporarily, it would relapse in two years.

She couldn't hold on until her son finished college, so she asked me to promise her that she would enjoy all the happiness she deserved, so that her life would not be in vain. "

Speaking of this, Li Qinghai had already burst into tears.

Dai Song also felt a sore nose and tears in his eyes.

His Xiaowan in his previous life ended up like this!

The two men who shared the same pain comforted each other. After a long time, Li Qinghai recovered a little.
After wiping away my tears, the heavy burden on my chest seemed to be lifted a little, and I spoke more fluently.
“Then we had to keep it a secret from my son.

After persisting for a year, my wife couldn't hold on any longer.
Moreover, the condition has become very serious and I often cannot sleep for whole nights.

My old friend and I asked many old doctors, and they prescribed a lot of medicines, but the medicines in them were nowhere to be found, so I often had to go to the mountains to look for them, and it would take several days.

I was stupid at that time. I dug some herbs from the mountain and boiled them for my wife. When I saw her smiling after drinking them and saying that she felt much better, I actually believed it.

Haha, if it really worked, she wouldn’t have left…”

Li Qinghai lowered his head and murmured, "If I were to choose again, I would rather spend that time with her.

My hunting gang had already gained some fame at that time. One hunting trip was enough to keep us going for half a month. But I was ignorant and wasted a lot of time on useless things.

In the last six months of my wife's life, the total time I spent at home with her was probably just over two weeks."

Li Qinghai couldn't help but hit himself when he talked about his regrets. Dai Song saw this and quickly stopped him.

Not only was he afraid that the old man would cause him to get sick, but he also had a deep understanding of his feelings.
"Don't be like that, Old Li Pao. The old lady definitely doesn't mean to blame you. She must be very touched to see you working so hard for her.
Who else in this world would risk going to the mountains and stay there for several days to look for medicine for her?
She probably didn't mean to comfort you. She lied to you and said that you felt much better after taking the medicine. What the old lady said must be true.

Because she feels your love for her, she feels happy and comfortable, otherwise she would definitely stop you from going up the mountain and try to hint to you to stay at home with her more."

Li Qinghai was stunned for a moment, and his sobbing gradually stopped.
"After that, my wife's health got worse day by day. One day, she asked me if she could let the child come back. We haven't taken any photos together, and she wanted to take a photo with the child. I felt something was wrong and wanted to take her out to see a doctor, but she stopped me crying, saying she didn't want to waste money and just wanted to see the child.

I don't want to bother you, or to drag you down. I have my son and I in this life, so I have no regrets. That's all I want. I just want to sit down and have a meal with my family in peace and quiet."

At this point, not only Li Qinghai, but Dai Song was also speechless.

He was too familiar with these details. Even though he was such a bastard in his previous life, Xiaowan didn't want to implicate him and Yingying in the end, so she chose to come back and wait for her life to end. The pain here can only be understood by those who have experienced it.

Li Qinghai was patted on the back by Dai Song. After a long pause, he continued,
"Then I asked someone to call my son back for dinner and reunion.

Then I will ask if there is any medicine that can treat my wife's condition.

I found out about a medicine called Qiannianrun."

"Qiannianrun?"

"Well, it's also called immortal grass."

When Dai Song heard the word "immortal grass", he immediately understood that Li Qinghai was talking about Dendrobium officinale, which has the effect of nourishing qi and blood and inhibiting tumors.

But this thing grows in tropical and subtropical regions!

How is it possible to find this place in Daxinganling!

Li Qinghai continued:

"That herb is very hard to find. My wife and I were waiting for our son to come back. I couldn't stay idle at home, so I wanted to find some herbs to make my wife feel better, so I went out to look for them.

But until the day my son came back, I didn't see even a trace of the medicine.

My wife's condition was very serious at the time, and my son realized something was wrong when he came back. He insisted on dropping out of school and taking his mother to get treatment."

Dai Song continued to listen with a frown on his face. Although the subsequent situation was slightly different from what he had expected, it was basically the same.

The difference is that Li Qinghai's son said that since he still had to wait two years before taking the college entrance examination, it would not affect him at all even if he took a leave of absence, so he should go and get treatment first.

But he could not persuade his seriously ill mother after all, and finally had to compromise, drop out of school and stay at home to accompany her through her last moments.

During this period, Li Qinghai still did not give up looking for medicinal herbs.

He also found that a gap began to form between him and his son, and that gap was getting bigger and bigger.

At first, it was just a hopeful plea, hoping that Li Qinghai could spend more time with his mother.

After his request was repeatedly rejected, his son began to become cold and distant towards him.

Even when the three of them had a meal together on the kang, they didn't say a word and the silence was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

Time passed quickly and the photos of the family of three were developed.

Li Qinghai paid for three copies of the photos.

Three photos, one for each person.

His wife said that this photo of hers must be taken away with her.

Because she was afraid that if she was away for too long, she would forget what the two people looked like.

At that time, his wife was almost dying and was awake for no more than four hours a day. That night, Li Qinghai thought about it for a long time and finally decided to give it a try and go somewhere farther away to look for her. If he couldn't find her, he would give up and just stay at home with his wife. So he set off before dawn.

But it seemed that God had had enough of him. On the day he set out, his wife died.

He was not at home, and his son was helpless and had no idea what to do.

I finally called on fellow villagers for help and planned to take them to town, but they left halfway.

At that time, his wife weighed just over 50 kilograms and had no strength to speak. Finally, because of her illness, she twisted the inside of the quilt into pieces, and her knuckles were covered in blood.

When he came back, the family was already preparing for the funeral.

At that time, he looked at the empty herb bag and fainted.

After he woke up, the villagers told him that before his wife left, she told his son a lot about him. The details were unclear, and she said a lot, but he was not around, so she could only tell his son. Now that he is back, they asked him to go and ask what was said at that time so that people can leave in peace.

But things have come to this point, how can it be better?

His son exploded on the spot.

Finally, after the villagers persuaded him for a long time, his son stopped making trouble for his mother's sake.

Although we didn't fall out afterwards, we were always lukewarm and only fulfilled the most basic obligations. It was absolutely impossible to have a closer relationship.

After the funeral was over, his son returned to school, stayed there during holidays, and never came back.

It is said that his son was so poor in another province that he had no money to eat, but he did not ask his family for money. He only ate half a steamed bun and a little bit of pickled vegetables a day. If he was still hungry after eating, he would drink water.

Finally, his good friend couldn't stand it anymore and took him home, where they lived and ate together.

Later, both of them were successfully admitted to university.

That classmate's family was very powerful. Since they had lived and eaten together for a long time and knew his son's character, after graduation they were recommended to work in government agencies together.

After working smoothly for a few years, his son got a chance for promotion, but he chose to return to his hometown, to this small county.

Li Qinghai also knew that his son would never forgive him, so he would not bother himself with anything.

In recent years, the birth of his grandson would make him call from time to time to show his concern.

Because of the bond with his grandson, the father and son have a little more interactions.

At the end, Li Qinghai laughed at himself.
“In the past, I sometimes said in front of everyone that my son helped me in this way or that, and my son said something to me.

Hey, he never said a word to me. Many things were told to me by my daughter-in-law and grandson. "

"Old Li Pao, don't be sad. Actually, rather than saying that he still hates you, it's better to say that he just can't get over it in his heart.

After all, you are his only relative in the world, he can't possibly hate you that much.

It has been so many years. If he suddenly gives up everything, he will feel that everything he has insisted on all these years is meaningless.

He treats you like this because he thinks you did something wrong.

But he also hopes to restore the relationship with you, but this kind of relationship is very twisted.
He hopes that you can explain to him why you didn't spend more time with his mother and give him a serious answer to the doubts in his heart."

Li Qinghai seemed to be thinking about something, while Dai Song took advantage of the situation and said,

"If he didn't think so, why would he help you arrange for retirement in a forest farm?
Lao Lipao, think about it, although you are a good shooter, the forest farm has a security department. Does it really need you to guard the gate?

The security department has firepower and mortars. I heard that they were all used in suppressing bandits.

I'm not trying to disparage you, but with these equipment, it really doesn't make much difference whether you're there or not."

Li Qinghai raised his head slightly, his eyes seemed to reveal a sense of confusion.

Dai Song saw hope and said,
"Last time, you were thinking about finding medicine for Auntie, so you didn't accompany your family.
This time, only the form of the question has changed, but the essence has not changed. Lao Li Pao, what do you plan to choose this time?
Are you still planning to disappoint your son?

Lao Li Pao, seriously, forget about this, it's too dangerous, you should go to town and take care of your grandson~
We young people can handle this kind of troublesome work.”

Li Qinghai lowered his head and played with the pipe in his hand repeatedly. The air became quiet. The two of them were silent for more than ten minutes. Li Qinghai suddenly raised his head.
"Song, you're right. I've thought about it."

"Well! That's more like it, Lao Li Pao. This kind of thing..."

"I'm going!"

Dai Song was interrupted by Li Qinghai halfway through his words, and was immediately shocked by the other party's feelings.

"What? Why do you still want to go?"

"Because of my grandson." After saying that, Li Qinghai's wrinkled old face smiled, "Although my grandson may not come to Xiazhutun in the future, I don't want those Su Mao ghosts to pose any threat to him, right?
A mistake has troubled me for most of my life. I don’t have many years left to live, and my son and grandson are my only concern.

I have never been a qualified person.

Husband, father, grandfather.

None of it was done properly.

I have had many failures in my life.

Now that I'm old, I finally have the opportunity to do something, so I want to protect the children.

Besides, aren't you the same?
Aren’t you also the pillar of the family?
Song, sometimes I treat you as my junior. Please let me fulfill my wish and let us go together so that I can take care of you.

All of this, just treat it as a failure of my life.
The crime is atonement!"

The two looked at each other, and the passion in Li Qinghai's eyes finally made Dai Song waver.

"Old Li Pao, you can't handle it, right? It's our first meeting and you're already failing."

"Why are you holding on to that incident?"

Li Qinghai was so angry that he blew his beard and glared.

“I’ve been going up the mountain alone for so long, and that was the only time I had an attack on the mountain.

And I just happened to run into you, and you kept talking on and on!

I tell you, I'm in very good health and there won't be any problem at all. You can go ask Xie Defa.

I have been with the militiamen every day during this period, go ask them!"

The old man became more and more excited as he spoke, and finally stood on the table, which frightened Dai Song so much that he hurriedly asked him to get down.

"Okay, you are fine, okay~"

"Don't talk nonsense. Just tell me straight out loud whether you will let me go with you or not!

If you don't let me go, I'll go by myself!"

"Okay, but let me make it clear first, Lao Li Pao, you have to follow my orders when the time comes."

"Okay! It's a deal!"

Border, the surface of the Heijiang River.

Beshka dragged his tired body and moved slowly.

He hadn't slept for two days and two nights, and his body and mind had reached their limits.

The SKS and PPSh on my shoulder have run out of bullets.

White phosphorus is also used as a lighting tool for traveling at night.
At this moment, the only means of defense he had was the single-shot flare gun in his hand.

There was no shelter on the ice, and the cold wind was like a river, hitting him so hard that he couldn't stand steadily.

The long journey caused him to become mentally confused and he even began to have hallucinations.

Ivan, Pana, Moros, Arabella.

These old team members stood on the other side of the river and waved at him.

Behind them are vast expanses of green grass.

Golden roof, white walls, and flocks of pigeons flying around.

The air was filled with the aroma of freshly-baked bread and sausages. Not far in front of me was a long table, on which, in addition to lit vodka, there were also piles of kvass.

But all this familiarity was broken by the sudden sound of gunfire.

Beshka regained some consciousness and rubbed his eyes which were covered with mucus.

There were three figures standing on the other side of the river.

Each of them was wearing a heavy fur coat and a Budyn hat on his head, which represented honor. One of them was pointing a gun at him. When he took a step forward, the man decisively pulled the bolt and shot him on the ice in front of him.

Ice chips flew everywhere, some even hitting Beshka's face.
Then the cold wind brought the vulgar voices of the people on the other side of the river to his ears.

At this moment, even though the other party cursed him in a very dirty and smelly way, Beshka was so excited that he shed tears.

"Sokabile! Stand there! If you move any closer, I'll kill you!"

Sukabuli has never been an interjection, but means bitch or prostitute, which has a strong insulting meaning.
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(End of this chapter)