Who wants to be a male model after being reborn? I want to be a male god.

Chapter 368 Ready to make a move
Ding Yue's words were like a stone thrown into a calm lake, causing ripples in Lan Qiusheng's heart.

Yes.

Why could he accept Xia Ning who came back, but not her?

However, as soon as this thought popped into her mind, she quickly suppressed it.

"Xia Ning is different with Xu Wen. After all, they are different." She heard her voice was unusually dry.

My throat felt like it was choked by something.

"What's the matter? Isn't it just about first love? Who doesn't have a first love?" Ding Yue suddenly moved closer, his nose almost touching her cheek, and his breath carried the sweet scent of breakfast soy milk.

Lan Qiusheng fell silent again.

The chirping of birds in the morning came in from outside the window, and the noise was so deafening that it hurt my ears.

She remembered the feeling of Xu Wen's fingertips brushing against the back of her hand when he handed her the shirt yesterday.

At that moment, she could almost feel the sudden acceleration of her blood flow, and all the capillaries under her skin opened, greedily absorbing the fleeting temperature.

"They have known each other for three years, from high school to college." Her voice became lower and lower, and the last few words almost became a whisper.

Lan Qiu Sheng recalled the time when Xu Wen and Xia Ning were together.

Although she felt that the two were not a good match, she had to admit that they were very affectionate at that time. In the eyes of others, they were a model couple and were extremely sweet every day.

Ding Yue suddenly grabbed the comb on the table and smashed it against the head of the bed, making a crisp sound as the plastic collided with the wall.

"So you're going to be a coward for the rest of your life? Look at you now, you don't even dare to return a shirt!" Her voice suddenly rose and echoed in the small dormitory.

The comb bounced back and rolled to Lan Qiu Sheng's feet. When she bent down to pick it up, she found that her fingertips were shaking.

The sunlight suddenly became dazzling, making her eyes hot.

She remembered the gloom that flashed across Xu Wen's eyes when he talked about his gambler father in the hotel room yesterday.

At that moment, she almost reached out to touch his face, wanting to erase those painful memories.

But in the end, she just clutched the corner of her clothes tightly, letting her nails dig deep into her palms.

"We are just ordinary friends. You are nice to me just because..." These words rolled over your tongue like a spell.

She paused, her throat tightening.

Why is Xu Wen nice to her?
Because she is his most capable assistant?
Because she is your college classmate?

Or was it because she didn't dare to think about it any further.

"Why? Because you are the boss's favorite secretary?" Ding Yue sneered.

Lan Qiusheng was speechless. She didn't know what to say at all.

She opened her mouth, but couldn't utter a single note.

Finally, she had to reach out for the shirt, fold it, and put the clothes back into the closet to hide her embarrassment.

Even if she didn't see it now, she knew that her ears were burning.

The image of Xu Wen wearing a shirt involuntarily emerged in her mind.

Slender fingers, slightly raised knuckles, and collarbones faintly visible under the shirt collar
"That's enough." Lan Qiu Sheng pretended to be impatient.

This sentence was said to Ding Yue as well as to himself.

She needed to constantly remind herself that the relationship between Xu Wenwen and her was purely work-related, and those moments of accelerated heartbeat and those inexplicable throbbing were just her illusions.

Ding Yue suddenly became quiet and tilted her head to look at her reddened ears. "Do you know what the funniest thing is?"

Seeing that Lan Qiusheng didn't reply for a long time, she continued to speak softly, her voice suddenly becoming soft: "You deny every word I say, but your eyes..."

The sound of students laughing and playing could be heard outside the window, mixed with the sound of birds chirping, making it a little noisy.

Lan Qiu Sheng turned around to close the window to avoid Ding Yue's sight.

The August wind rushed in with the scent of flowers, blowing away the last trace of scent on the shirt.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" she asked with her back to Ding Yue.

Ding Yue walked behind her and suddenly put his hand on her shoulder.

"I feel like you are a little squirrel who has stolen nuts. You are obviously enjoying the current situation. Gu Xingruo is not here, Xia Ning disappears, and there are only you and Xu Wen." Ding Yue's breath sprayed behind her ears.

"I didn't!" Lan Qiu Sheng knocked over the pen holder on the table when he turned around, and the pen rolled onto the carpet.

This sudden accident stunned her, just like the storm in the hotel the day before yesterday.

At that moment, in the doomsday-like scene, she could hear Xu Wen's breathing close at hand.

I could feel his heat coming through the air.

She remembered how she wished the power outage would last longer.

So that she has a reason to continue to immerse herself in that dark space without distance.

Ding Yue bent down to pick up the pen and slowly unscrewed the pen cap.

"Did you know? You got 98 points in the data structure exam last semester because you missed considering a variable in the last question." She tapped Lan Qiu Sheng's shoulder lightly with her pen.

The coolness of the pen cap seeped through the fabric of my clothes.

Ding Yue's voice seems like a devil that can bewitch people.

Lan Qiusheng subconsciously wanted to take a step back, but there was a window behind her and she had nowhere to retreat.

She had no choice but to tense her body and stare straight ahead.

Ding Yue smiled for a moment before saying, "Time. You and Xu Wen have spent more time together than the other two combined."

The school bell rang suddenly, startling the sparrows on the windowsill.

Lan Qiu Sheng watched his own reflection slightly distorted on the window glass, and in a trance it turned into the image of the floor-to-ceiling window in Xu Wen's office.

In the past six months, she had indeed spent too many late nights in front of that window.

Sometimes it's to discuss business plans, sometimes it's just to work quietly on our own.

At those times, there were only the two of them in the office, and not many people were working overtime outside. All they could hear were the hum of computer fans and the occasional rustling of flipping papers.

She would often look up unconsciously to catch Xu Wen's slightly furrowed brows when he was concentrating on his work, or the little movement of him unconsciously biting his lower lip when he was thinking about a problem.

"That's different." Lan Qiusheng retorted weakly.

But after saying "different", I don't know how to continue.

What's the difference?

Because Gu Xingruo is Xu Wen’s current girlfriend?

Because Xia Ning is Xu Wen’s unforgettable first love?
And her?

What is she?
A work partner?
A college classmate?
Or a coward who can't even admit his own feelings?

"What's the difference? Because you haven't done it before?" Ding Yue continued tapping her shoulder with the pen.

The sunlight suddenly became dazzling and Lan Qiusheng squinted his eyes.

Ding Yue's words were so far-fetched that she couldn't accept them for a while.

The eyes that were originally looking straight at her now avoided her gaze. She coughed twice to hide her embarrassment.

Lan Qiusheng's thoughts were in a mess now, and all the things that happened in the past kept flashing through her mind.

She remembered the cup of coffee Xu Wen handed her after she worked overtime last week.

I remember what he said on that rainy day: "Everyone needs a noble person in their life."

Recalling earlier, on that rooftop, she said to him, "I will support you no matter what you do."

At that time, Xu Wen did not respond, so she could only smile and pretend that it was a joke.

"Stop talking. Didn't you want to talk to me about the welcome ceremony? Tell me now, or I will be out of time again." Lan Qiu Sheng finally spoke.

She didn't want to answer what had just been said.

Ding Yue stared at her for a few seconds, then suddenly grinned: "Okay." She turned around and took out a notebook from her bag: "But you have to admit first that this matter is very important."

Lan Qiu Sheng looked at the orientation flowchart she drew on paper. The lines were crooked and looked ugly.

She suddenly realized that the feeling of her heartbeat at this moment was exactly the same as when she heard Xu Wen talking about his childhood in the hotel yesterday.

The mixture of heartache, pity and some indescribable emotion made her heart feel like it was being tightly grasped by an invisible hand.

"Volunteers are needed in every place, including the cafeteria, library and dormitory building. Do you think Xu Wen will come to help?" Ding Yue poked the paper with the tip of his pen.

The pen stopped on the three words "dormitory building".

Lan Qiusheng stared at the expanding ink spot.

She found that this was just like the importance of Xu Wen in her heart.

He had quietly connected all the fragments of her life without her knowing it.

The sense of accomplishment at work, the companionship late at night, the warmth in the rainstorm, and those heart-beating moments that she dared not admit.

"He connects all the broken parts of your life. Don't deny it. I've seen the way you looked at him." Ding Yue suddenly said, as if seeing through her thoughts.

Lan Qiu Sheng recalled the electric feeling she felt when Xu Wen accidentally touched her hand in the hotel room yesterday.

At that moment, she almost blurted out the words that had been buried in her heart for a long time, but in the end, she just quickly pulled her hand back and pretended that it was just an accident.

"Let's discuss serious business." She continued to pretend to be calm and changed the subject, ignoring Ding Yue's constant "provocation".

She needed this excuse, needed work to fill her mind.

So that she wouldn't have to deal with the emotions that were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

They spent the next two hours finalizing the volunteer schedule and supply list.

Ding Yue deliberately bumped into Lan Qiusheng's shoulder as she stretched. "The instructor replied and said there will be a meeting tomorrow afternoon."

Lan Qiu Sheng nodded and stuffed the last document into the folder.

The paper with wet ink exudes a faint smell.

It reminded her of the printer in the office, which always hummed late into the night.

Late at night, when she felt a little sleepy, Xu Wen would silently hand her a cup of coffee, or gently pat her shoulder and say, "Don't work too hard."

Those tiny moments of tenderness are like drops of water.

Silently seeping through the walls she had built.

"I'm leaving." Ding Yue walked to the door and suddenly turned around.

"By the way, remember to return 'that'." She pointed to the drawer and smiled slyly.

The moment the door closed, Lan Qiu Sheng fell onto the bed as if all his strength had been drained away.

The contact with Ding Yue just now was more like a "torture" to her.

Constantly "torturing" her heart.

She remembered the meaningful look in Ding Yue's eyes when she left.

I remembered the corners of Xu Wen's mouth drooping slightly when he talked about his childhood memories yesterday.

I recalled the stunning moment they exchanged glances when they first met.

She gently opened the drawer and found that the neat folds of her shirt were messed up.

The collar was open at an angle, as if in a silent invitation.

The moment my fingertips touched the fabric, all the images of yesterday came flooding back.

Xu Wen's Adam's apple rolled when he spoke.

His neatly manicured nails as he handed over the teacup.

There is also talk about the jawline that suddenly tightened in childhood.

Those details, those tiny things that she thought she wouldn't care about.

It all came vividly to my mind at this moment, with such clarity that it was heartbreaking.

The phone suddenly vibrated and the screen lit up.

Lan Qiu Sheng almost snatched it away, but found that it was just a system update notification.

She opened the gallery and found a group photo.

This was taken during military training last year.

Xu Wen was standing behind her on the right, about two people away from her, but because of the lens distortion, it looked like he was leaning on her shoulder.

She had looked at this photo countless times, and every time she would unconsciously touch the imaginary contact point with her fingers.

"Liar." She whispered to the photo, her fingertips hovering above the delete key and not falling.

She lied to Ding Yue, lied to herself, and lied to everyone that she had no improper thoughts about Xu Wen.

But those late night thoughts, those moments of accelerated heartbeats, and those inexplicable throbbings all betrayed her lies.

Lan Qiusheng suddenly grabbed his shirt and pressed it to his face, taking a deep breath.

She knew that her action was perverted, but she couldn't resist the impulse in her heart.

As a result, there was nothing at the tip of my nose except the industrial scent of laundry detergent. The faint fragrance from before had long since dissipated.

This discovery made her chest tighten, as if she had lost something important.

At this moment, Lan Qiu Sheng felt a little stupid. What was she fantasizing about?
The shirt slipped from his fingers and spread out in odd shapes on the sheets.

Lan Qiu Sheng stared at it for a long time.

While she was in a daze, footsteps were heard in the corridor, and her roommates were talking and laughing as they approached from far away.

Lan Qiusheng quickly stuffed the shirt into his backpack.

The moment the zipper is closed, a certain secret expectation emerges from the bottom of my heart.

She knew she should wash the shirt and return it, she should keep a proper distance, but she couldn't do it.

The sound of the key turning was heard, and the second before the dormitory door was pushed open, Lan Qiu Sheng finally admitted it to himself.

She didn't want to return the shirt, just like she didn't want to end this time spent alone with Xu Wen.

This realization made her feel both fearful and relieved, as if she had finally unloaded a heavy burden, but also as if she had embarked on a path of no return.

The light suddenly came on, causing her to squint.

"Xiaolan, are you in the dormitory? Why don't you turn on the lights?" The roommates' laughter stopped abruptly.

Lan Qiusheng smiled politely: "It's sunny outside, so I didn't turn on the lights."

"Then I turned on the light? I have to study later."

"it is good."

After the meaningless conversation, the communication between the two sides today came to an end.

It can’t be said to be isolated, it’s just that we are simply unfamiliar with each other.

Lan Qiusheng runs around everywhere every day and has missed too much time in college.

Amid the noisy greetings of his roommates, Lan Qiu Sheng placed his hand on his backpack and touched the shirt inside through the fabric.

This unspeakable secret was now quietly lying in the palm of her hand.

Like a seed that can sprout at any time.

She knew that from this moment on, she had finally made up her mind and she would never have such a good opportunity again.

If Gu Xingruo is not here, Xia Ning will not be here either.

Those repressed emotions, those ignored heartbeats, all surfaced and could no longer be pretended not to exist.

(End of this chapter)