Who wants to be a male model after being reborn? I want to be a male god.

Chapter 352 Good night, little maid
Bai Banxia looked at her in confusion: "What do you mean?"

"It means exactly what it says." Xia Ning turned her head back, her eyes clear.

She took a deep breath and continued, "I no longer need to control everything, no longer need to know what he is doing every minute and who he is with. I just need to wait and cherish every moment we are together."

Bai Banxia gasped: "Ningning, are you sure this is you? Half a year ago you were..."

"I was sick half a year ago, but now I have learned how to love someone in a healthy way." Xia Ning interrupted her, her voice soft but unquestionable.

There was a brief silence on both ends of the video.

Bai Banxia stared at the screen, as if trying to find some flaws in Xia Ning's face.

But Xia Ning just looked back calmly, there was no previous paranoia and fanaticism in her eyes, only an almost transparent calmness.

"This trip to the capital really changed you a lot." Bai Banxia finally said, with disbelief in her voice.

Xia Ning nodded: "The doctor taught me to distinguish between love and obsession. Love is giving, obsession is asking. Love is trust, and obsession is control."

She smiled and continued, "Between Xu Wen and I, it used to be more of the latter."

"But he hurt you." Bai Banxia couldn't help but say.

Although she knew the truth of the matter, she still chose to stand on the side of her best friend out of the mentality of helping her relatives rather than the innocent.

If there weren't those annoying girls around Xu Wen, would Xia Ning not have fallen into such a paranoid state?

Perhaps it would have been best if the two had not met in the first place.

"I hurt him too. Remember that little box? I returned it to him today." Xia Ning responded softly.

Bai Banxia's eyes widened: "You returned all those things to him?"

"Well, those are symbols of obsession, not proof of love." Xia Ning nodded.

Bai Banxia suddenly covered her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes: "Oh my God, Ningning, I really thought you would never come back. You were so scary during that time that I didn't even dare to answer your calls."

She still remembered the time when Xia Ning had just gone to Beijing for treatment.

The two have been together for so many years, from junior high school to high school, and now to college, but she has never seen her best friend act like that.

Xia Ning felt a sharp pain in her chest.

She remembered the countless calls she made to Bai Banxia when she was ill, and her hysterical crying.

"I'm sorry, Banxia, ​​I apologize for everything." Xia Ning's voice trembled slightly.

Bai Banxia wiped away her tears and shook her head: "No, I am the one who should apologize, if I hadn't instigated you to pursue Xu Wen, if I hadn't always exaggerated his every move in front of you."

"You are not responsible, and neither am I, and now is not the time to pursue the matter. What's important is that we have all learned something from it." Xia Ning interrupted her.

Bai Banxia took a deep breath and tried to calm down: "So, what is your relationship now?"

Xia Ning smiled slightly: "Friend, at least for now."

"Friend? You waited for half a year and wrote a whole book just to be friends with him?" Bai Banxia repeated in disbelief.

"Relationships take time to rebuild, Banxia, ​​and like the doctor said, you can't expect someone who just removed the plaster to run a marathon right away." Xia Ning explained patiently.

"But you still love him, right?" Bai Banxia asked quickly.

Xia Ning did not answer immediately.

She stood up and walked to the window, looking at the twinkling lights in the distance.

The night by the river is so prosperous, yet so lonely.

"I love him in my memory, and I love him when we met again today, but I love myself now even more, a person who no longer uses love as an excuse to hurt others." Xia Ning finally said.

Bai Banxia was silent for a long time before she asked softly, "What about Gu Xingruo?"

Xia Ning's fingers gently slid across the window glass: "That's his choice, I respect it."

"Are you so willing to give up?" Bai Banxia was puzzled.

"It's not giving up, it's acceptance. If he chooses her in the end, I will be sad, but I won't collapse. This is the change that treatment has brought to me." Xia Ning turned to face the screen.

Bai Banxia let out a long breath: "I really can't recognize you, Ningning."

"Half a year ago, I locked him in the rental house for a week. Half a year ago, I cut my wrist with broken glass to threaten him not to leave. Half a year ago, I was indeed sick." Xia Ning took over the conversation calmly.

The room fell silent again.

Xia Ning walked back to the bed and sat down, picked up the mineral water on the bedside table and took a sip.

The water was very cold, flowing down her throat, reminding her of the book she handed to Xu Wen today and the warmth of his fingertips.

"Has he seen the new ending?" Bai Banxia suddenly asked.

Xia Ning nodded: "I saw it, he said it's better than the original one, at least no one died."

"Is that the ending you want for the future?" Bai Banxia's tone was a little hesitant.

Xia Ning thought for a while: "That's the best possibility I can imagine. But it's not the only possibility."

"What do you mean?" Bai Banxia was very confused.

"What I mean is that I have learned to accept the uncertainty of life. Just like what is written in the book, the sunlight shines on their folded hands. It could be a beginning or it could be a farewell. Either way, it is complete." Xia Ning explained softly.

Bai Banxia shook her head: "I still don't understand how you can be so calm."

"Because I finally understand that loving someone does not mean possessing all of him, just like a little maid loves her master. She does not need to know where he has gone or who he has met. She only needs to pour him a cup of hot tea when he comes back." Xia Ning's voice was soft, but every word was clear.

"That sounds so humble," Bai Banxia sighed softly.

Her brows furrowed slightly, without even her noticing.

"No, this is the real strength. Not controlling, not being suspicious, and not being afraid of losing. This is the most difficult thing." Xia Ning corrected.

Bai Banxia looked at her thoughtfully: "Does your mother know that you met him today?"

Xia Ning smiled: "I know. She said that compared to work and my future, she hopes that I can live happily and healthily."

"Wow, Lawyer He has completely changed!" Bai Banxia opened her eyes wide.

In the past, Xia Ning often invited her to her home.

Usually fine.

But as soon as Lawyer He appeared, she ran away.

This woman's aura was so strong that it scared her.

"The treatment changed not only me, but she also learned how to be a mother, rather than just someone who provides material needs," Xia Ning said softly.

In the video, the doorbell rang in the background of Bai Banxia's voice: "The takeaway I ordered has arrived. Have you had dinner?"

She originally wanted to introduce this magical food delivery app.

But Flash City was Xu Wen's project, and she finally closed her mouth after opening it.

Xia Ning shook her head: "I'm not hungry. I just felt a little nauseous after the book signing. It might be the sequelae of nervousness."

"You still need to eat something. You're already thin enough. You seem to be floating in the air." Bai Banxia said worriedly.

"I will." Xia Ning agreed, but did not move.

Bai Banxia hesitated for a moment, but still asked, "Have you two agreed to meet again?"

Xia Ning picked up the phone and turned to the chat interface with Xu Wen.

"He said take it slow," she replied softly.

"Then will you wait for him?" Bai Banxia asked while eating. Xia Ning did not answer immediately.

She remembered the way Xu Wen looked at her in the study today.

There was nostalgia, vigilance, and a hint of emotion she couldn't understand.

It’s like reading a book that is both familiar and unfamiliar. Every page seems familiar, yet full of unknowns.

"I will live my own life well. If he comes, I will welcome him. If he doesn't come, I will be fine too." Xia Ning finally said.

Bai Banxia sighed: "This is really not something you would say."

"This is the real me. Not the Xia Ning who is crazy about love, nor the self-enclosed Xia Ning, but the balance between the two." Xia Ning smiled.

"I'll probably be able to go to Beijing during the holidays. Can I come to see you then?" she said with food in her mouth.

"Of course I'll take you to the hotpot restaurant behind the hospital. Do you remember?" Xia Ning nodded.

"Remember! I have carefully looked at every photo you sent me before." Bai Banxia said excitedly.

"Banxia, ​​do you think we can go back to the way we were before?" Xia Ning suddenly asked.

Bai Banxia stopped chewing and thought seriously for a while: "No. But maybe I can create a better 'after'."

Xia Ning smiled: "Well said, you have become smarter in the past six months."

"That's it!" Bai Banxia raised his head proudly.

The two people in the video smiled at each other.

"But seriously, Ningning, I'm very happy to see you like this now. Although the process was painful, it was worth it." Bai Banxia said seriously.

Xia Ning nodded, and a warm feeling surged in her chest.

The collapsed self of half a year ago seems to be very far away, just like the heroine with a BE ending in the book, forever remaining between the pages.

"I have to pass the exam. I have an exam tomorrow morning. You should go to bed early and remember to eat!" Bai Banxia said.

"Okay, good night, Banxia." Xia Ning agreed.

"Good night, little maid." Bai Banxia winked mischievously and hung up the video.

The moment the screen went dark, Xia Ning's smile slowly faded.

She put her phone down and walked to the window.

The lights along the river are still bright, and the traffic in the distance is like a river of time, rushing forward without stopping.

She remembered how Xu Wen stood in the crowd at the book signing event today.

He is more mature than I remember, with a more calm look between his brows.

When he took the book, their fingertips touched briefly, and the warmth in that second reminded her of the touch she had lingered on countless times.

Xia Ning walked back to the bed, took out a notebook from her backpack, and turned to today's date.

She wrote neatly:

"I met Xu Wen today. He told me to take my time, and I told him to take my time. This time, we both learned to be patient."

Closing the notebook, Xia Ning picked up the medicine box on the bedside table and skillfully poured out two white pills.

Six months ago, these pills were shackles that she resisted; now, they are tools for her to maintain balance.

Outside the window, the night sky along the river is still bright.

Xia Ning closed her eyes and thought of the last line of the new ending in the book:
"The sun shines on their folded hands, neither promising forever nor foreshadowing separation, but quietly witnessing the reality of this moment."

Tomorrow, the sun will rise as usual.

And she will continue to move forward.

She is no longer the paranoid girl, nor the self-enclosed patient, but a woman who has learned to balance and wait.

A woman who knows how to be a "maid".

When Xu Wen parked the car in front of the Black Cat Tarot Shop, it was already completely dark.

The July night was hot and humid, and even the wind carried a sticky heat.

After turning off the engine, he did not get out of the car immediately. Instead, he sat in the driver's seat, tapping the steering wheel lightly with his fingers, his eyes fixed on the book "The Disease is You" on the passenger seat.

The gold-embossed title on the book cover still flickered in the dim light inside the car, just like the look Xia Ning gave him today.

Bright but with a cautious tentativeness.

After getting out of the car, he pushed open the glass door of Black Cat Tarot, and the wind chimes rang crisply.

What surprised Xu Wen was that Xiaobai and Xiaoxiaobai actually appeared in the store again and came over.

Although they hadn't seen each other for a long time, the two little black cats still recognized him.

"Didn't your mother say that she would take you to the new company to raise you?" Xu Wen bent down to touch the two cats.

The cats squinted their eyes comfortably.

After he stood up, Xiaobai and Xiaoxiaobai followed him and walked forward.

The air conditioning in the store was turned on very high, forming a sharp contrast with the stuffiness outside.

Yang Yiyao was sitting in the divination room sorting out tarot cards. She smiled and looked at the door: "Welcome to Black Cat Tarot, do you have an appointment?"

"Of course I have an appointment." Xu Wen sat on the sofa and placed the book in front of him.

He began to admire this senior student.

Whenever he called, she would be there before him.

Although Yang Yiyao was wearing ordinary casual clothes today, it could be seen that she was dressed up carefully.

She leaned on the sofa, her black turtleneck sweater outlining her slender neck, her sleeves casually rolled up to reveal her white wrist bones.

She had specially put on delicate eye makeup today. The slightly upturned dark brown eyeliner at the end of her eyes made her eyes, which always had a teasing look, look even sharper.

Her long chestnut hair was loosely tied into a low ponytail, with a few unruly strands hanging by her ears, swaying gently as she turned her head.

Her nails were a newly done burgundy color, and at this moment, she was tapping on the tarot card box intermittently. The metal earrings occasionally flashed tiny rays of light under the light.

Yang Yiyao glanced at the cover of the book and raised her eyebrows: "The Disease is You? Isn't this the popular novel recently? Several girls in my store are reading it."

She reached out to pick it up and look through it, but Xu Wen picked up the book first.

"I'll use the safe." Xu Wen said softly.

Yang Yiyao narrowed her eyes and looked at him: "What kind of book is so precious? It can't be a banned book, right? Or is there something hidden in it that cannot be revealed?"

She drawled her voice deliberately.

Xu Wen ignored her teasing and just repeated, "Safe."

Yang Yiyao shrugged, took out the key from under the counter, and led Xu Wen to the storage room at the back of the store.

There is a safe in the corner of the storage room. It was placed there by Xu Wen. There was only a very mysterious USB flash drive in it, and nothing else.

Yang Yiyao leaned against the door frame and watched Xu Wen squat down and start turning the combination lock.

She was very curious.

What kind of book can be compared with the USB flash drive inside?
(End of this chapter)