Who wants to be a male model after being reborn? I want to be a male god.

Chapter 330 Both Ends of the Scale

After Xu Wen and Yang Yiyao entered Black Cat Tarot, Yang Yiyao pressed the remote control again, and the rolling door slowly fell behind them.

A rolling door blocks out the hustle and bustle of the street.

The warm yellow wall lamp cast a quiet atmosphere in the Black Cat Tarot Shop. Xu Wen stroked the rough edge of the envelope with his fingertips.

In the quiet environment, he lowered his voice unconsciously: "Are you closed for business?"

It wouldn't make sense for the boss to come back and find the shop still closed.

Yang Yiyao shook her head with a relaxed look on her face: "Today, this place is reserved for you alone."

She and Xu Wen have known each other for a long time, but this is the first time they have appeared alone in the same enclosed environment.

He had come here before to divine, but at least the door was still open.

When Yang Yiyao was thinking this, Xiaobai and Xiaoxiaobai finally ran from Xu Wen's feet to her feet again.

The two cats meowed at her, as if to say, "You are not alone, there are two of us."

Yang Yiyao habitually touched the two cats respectively, then stood up and lit the candle on the cabinet.

Soon, the smell of burning scented candles lingered at the tip of your nose, which is said to have a calming and mind-enhancing effect.

She rarely lit candles when she was alone because she was afraid of fire.

The amethyst curtain hanging in the glass display case swayed gently, and after being illuminated by the candlelight, it cast a shadow on the faces of the two people.

"Do you need me to tell your fortune for you first? Then I'll read your letter." Yang Yiyao carried the two white cats to the bar, and the colorful light reflected by the crystal ball danced in her eyes.

She deliberately put on a dark red velvet cape, and the silver chain tassels made a crackling sound as she turned around. "Or do you want to prepare some wine now? I do have some. Do you want whiskey or brandy?"

Xu Wen shook his head.

He doesn't need those mysterious things to help him solve his current troubles.

No matter what the divination result is, he will not be happy.

It would be better not to touch these things from the beginning.

In the past, Yang Yiyao always begged Xu Wen to help him with divination.

After being rejected this time, she did not insist anymore, but went to boil water and make tea by herself.

Xu Wen walked to the room he usually used for divination and sat on the familiar sofa.

As soon as he walked down, he felt the softness under his body, which greatly relieved his recent fatigue.

When Yang Yiyao came back with the teacup, Xu Wen was already opening the envelope.

She didn't ask what was in the letter, nor did she say she wanted to read it in a hurry. She just sat quietly opposite, just like she usually did when fortune-telling.

She knew that Xu Wen needed quiet more at this moment.

Although the envelope was ordinary, the letter paper inside was special paper with light wisteria flowers printed on it.

The ink stains at the creases look like solidified tear marks.

Xia Ning's handwriting was much more sloppy than usual, with some strokes abruptly penetrating the horizontal lines, as if trying to suppress some kind of tremor.

【Zhan Xinjia:】

[I don’t know if you received my last letter, but I can’t help but start writing the next one. ]

[I asked Banxia to deliver this letter to you personally. I believe you will receive it.]

[Secretly tell you, the last letter is with my father. If you haven't forgotten me yet, go get it. I think he will give it to you.]

[Of course, you may have seen it. ]

After Xu Wen finished reading the opening words, his originally tense mood inexplicably relaxed.

From these few short lines he could tell that Xia Ning's emotions when she wrote the letter were much more stable than when she wrote the previous one.

[I almost forgot how long I have been here. My daily routine is just staring at the scenery outside the window. ]

[Frost formed on the windows of the hospital. The nurse said it was a late spring cold snap.]

[They always stare at my wristband when I take my medicine, as if I'm going to hide the medicine under my tongue in the next second.]

[The medicine the doctor gave me made me feel slow and groggy every day, but I've gotten used to it.]

【At least this can calm my mind. 】

There was a blurry water stain on the left side of the letter paper, and the blue-black color spread out like a miniature ocean.

When Xu Wen's fingertips touched her eyes, it was as if he was touching the frost on the girl's eyelashes.

The handwriting was initially neat and almost rigid, but wavy patterns began to appear on the third line.

Yang Yiyao noticed that Xu Wen's Adam's apple rolled slightly and his knuckles turned white due to the force.

She pushed the warm black tea to his hand, and the tea leaves floating on the surface of the tea were swirling.

Although Yang Yiyao's tea is not as expensive as the ones Gu Xingruo brings to the studio, Xu Wen feels it is good every time he drinks it.

[The ward has been replaced with water-patterned glass, and I have a pot of mint on the windowsill. ]

[Every time I water the plants, the tips of the leaves will point to the south, which is the direction of the river.]

[The nurse said that plants grow towards the sun, but it should be raining in Linjiang right now, right? ]

The blank space between these words was filled with simple mint sketches, with the leaf patterns carved into relief with a needle tip.

Xia Ning always likes to add such inconspicuous little details in her letters.

[My attending physician asked me to write a 300-word "emotional journal" every day, saying that this would help alleviate my condition.]

[But when I wrote "The sun is shining brightly today", the pen suddenly leaked ink, leaving a dark cloud-shaped mark on the word "sunshine".]

[You see, even the stationery is laughing at the patient's clumsy lie.]

[Later, I stopped writing "emotional journals" and picked up my novels again, writing them by hand.]

[How is it? Am I awesome? ]

Xu Wen nodded unconsciously.

If Xia Ning was standing in front of him now, he would definitely say, "Yeah, that's really amazing."

Xiaobai, who was napping nearby, suddenly jumped onto the table and swept the crystal ball with the tip of its tail.

The dodecahedron-cut glass refracts the light into countless diamond-shaped spots, interweaving strange geometric patterns on the "Justice" Tarot card.

Xu Wen noticed that the tip of the sword of the blindfolded goddess on the card was facing the date at the end of the letter.

April 1 was changed to March 31 and then crossed out heavily with a red pen.

There was no specific date on the letter.

Xu Wen also couldn't understand why Xia Ning crossed out the date.

"She said she was continuing to write novels." Xu Wen suddenly spoke, waking up the dozing Xiao Xiaobai.

Yang Yiyao paused as she was wiping the energy crystal.

She didn't expect that Xu Wen would actually take the initiative to share the contents of the letter with her.

If you look at it this way, does that mean she has entered his heart in this way?

Yang Yiyao paused for a moment, and she pretended not to care and replied, "Isn't this good?"

She put the energy crystal back into the box and looked up at Xu Wen who was sitting opposite her: "At least she has found her anchor again, which is very helpful for her condition."

In Yang Yiyao's opinion, Xia Ning's previous problem was that she devoted all her heart and soul to love.

She seems peaceful, non-confrontational, and has no possessiveness.

But among those who like Xu Wen, she is the one with the greatest possessiveness.

She wouldn't tolerate anyone getting involved in their relationship, not even friends.

Although Yang Yiyao and Xia Ning had only met a few times, she could see that she had been suppressing herself.

All the repression finally broke out and caused unimaginable damage to her heart.

Xu Wen nodded silently, agreeing with Yang Yiyao's statement. If Xia Ning could really find the meaning of life again, perhaps her condition would soon improve.

【During treatment last week, the doctor asked me to make up a story, and I wrote a story about a detective.】

[The heroine is a perfumer who always holds a black umbrella on rainy days. ]

[She had a habit of writing the criminal's name on a mint leaf before solving a case, and showing it to everyone after the case was over.]

Xu Wen suddenly thought of the small box that Xia Ning left for him.

Inside were the dried flowers she had made.

The flowers were given to her by him when they first got together, and the letters "XY" were engraved on the drawing board.

[Actually, my mother doesn’t want me to write novels anymore. She thinks my illness is caused by reading novels.]

[I find it very interesting, just like a parent who said before that his child was violent because of playing games.]

[I always secretly carry a pen with me, then find a piece of paper and write novels when no one is paying attention. ]

[Yesterday's story was that the hero and heroine met in the hospital morgue, and the corpse lying next to them suddenly said: "You have both stayed in each other's pupils for too long."]

Xu Wen couldn't help but shiver. It was hard for him to imagine what kind of story Xia Ning was writing.

Romance novel? Or horror novel?
If the corpse in the morgue suddenly sat up and talked to him, how could he still think about falling in love?
But as long as she still has creativity, that's a good thing, which means she is really getting better day by day.

"Why do you think someone would write a plot where the corpse in the morgue says to the hero and heroine, 'You've stayed in each other's pupils for too long.'" Xu Wen asked Yang Yiyao who was sitting opposite him.

Master Yang, who was in a daze, was stunned for a moment.

It was hard for her to imagine how these words could form a sentence.

"Maybe it's the yearning for love that transcends death?" she replied uncertainly.

Xu Wen didn't understand either, so he chose to continue watching.

[My mother confiscated my pen, but she didn't know I hid an eyeliner in my headband.]

[Now what I look forward to most every day is when my mother goes to sleep, so I can find a piece of paper and continue writing the next plot.]

Xu Wen saw a line of smaller words next to this line of words.

It looks like it was written with eyeliner.

There it said "PS" in very small handwriting.

[If I recover, will you come to see me with mints?]

There is a trembling dot at the end of the final question mark.

Xia Ning drew a small horizontal line, but still did not completely cross out the sentence.

[Yesterday, during the drama therapy rehearsal of Romeo and Juliet, I grabbed the script from the head nurse.]

[When the sentence "My ears have not yet been filled with the one hundred words you have spoken", everyone becomes like you.]

[The chief physician said that I was beginning to visualize the object of my grief.]

[How ridiculous, they take my longing as an indicator of recovery.]

【But you don't know that I have already engraved your name in my heart forever. 】

The period at the end of this paragraph is drawn as concentric circles, with seven layers of them.

The sound of rain outside the window was getting heavier, hitting the awning like messy drum beats.

"Sometimes waiting itself is the answer." Yang Yiyao's manicure tapped lightly on the table.

This sentence is not only about Xia Ning, but also what she wants to say to Xu Wen.

At the same time, she was also talking to herself.

Before Xu Wen could reply, the vibration of his cell phone broke the silence.

This is Gu Xingruo’s exclusive ringtone.

Xu Wen looked at the word "Ruoruo" jumping on the screen, and pressed the answer button.

Although Yang Yiyao had lowered the rolling shutter, the silence was broken by a phone call.

Xu Wen adjusted his mood and started chatting with Gu Xingruo on the other end of the phone.

The reason why the eldest lady called was very simple. She said that her group assignment was finally finished and asked him if he wanted to have dinner together in the evening.

Xu Wen replied "OK".

The two agreed on a place to eat and then hung up the phone.

While Xu Wen was answering the phone, Yang Yiyao went to the refrigerator and got a bottle of soda water.

She pressed the soda against the back of his neck, and the coolness made his spine tense.

Yang Yiyao sat back in the fortune teller's seat and tapped the "Two of Cups" card with her finger.

"At both ends of the emotional scale, someone always has to bear more weight." Under the feet of the lovers exchanging wine glasses on the card, a coiled snake is licking the edge of the letter paper.

Xu Wen didn't say anything. He stared at the Tarot cards for a long time, and then continued to read the rest of the letter.

[Xu Wen, I am beginning to lose track of the boundaries between novels and medical records.]

[While I was writing about the “Perfumer finally found his lost lover” in my detective novel, the nurse was recording that my auditory hallucinations had subsided.]

[When I asked the heroine to tear up her diary in the rain, the doctor checked the "aggressive behavior subsided" on the evaluation form.]

Xu Wen looked a little confused.

He didn't know whether this meant that Xia Ning's condition had improved or had worsened.

At the last line, Xia Ning's handwriting suddenly became neat, like printed text written with a ruler.

[My therapist asked me to draw my "ideal home," and I drew a yard full of flowers and two birds sitting on a swing.]

A dried petal was pasted on the right side of the letter paper, with a faint fragrance still lingering in the fibers.

The letter ends here.

Xia Ning left a string of English words at the end: The answer is blowing in the wind.

It was like a mantra she would repeat over and over again when she had an attack.

When the sound of rain gradually subsided, Gu Xingruo's QQ message popped up.

"We've dealt with the bad guys! There's a new fish cake shop outside the school gate. I brought you some with red bean filling~"

The cat paw emoji at the end is waving happily.

"Do you have anything to say after reading it?" Yang Yiyao asked softly.

Although she didn't read the letter, she could tell from Xu Wen's expression that he had finished reading it.

He looked somewhat relieved, and his expression was no longer as heavy as before.

"I feel like I still have a long way to go before both ends of the scale are completely calmed down," he said, particularly cryptically.

But Yang Yiyao could hear the meaning in his words.

She asked in surprise, "You want to keep the scale balanced and hold both ends all the time? Do you have so many hands?"

Facing doubts, Xu Wen was extremely confident: "How do you know if you don't try? I don't want to give up on either end of the scale."

He added, "I'm only saying this to you."

Yang Yiyao smiled bitterly after hearing this.

She didn't know whether she should be sad or happy now.

"You are very greedy," she commented.

Xu Wen collapsed on the sofa: "I can't help it. People who have lived twice will be more greedy."

Because they know how painful regret is.

(End of this chapter)