Ming: I am fake, walking on thin ice

Chapter 215 The Pseudo-Emperor is Excited: I am Infertile, Can You Cure Me?

The Chinese New Year is just two days away, and the whole capital is in a festive atmosphere.

On both sides of the street, the patrol guards of the Five Cities Military Department worked tirelessly. This year, they were creative and not only maintained public order, but also personally decorated the capital with a brand new look. Red lanterns were hung high and spread along the streets. Even the usually solemn and majestic city walls were decorated with auspicious patterns, making them look particularly warm.

The vendors' cries were heard one after another, and the scene was very lively. There was a wide variety of New Year goods, from exquisite cakes and candies to auspicious couplets with Chinese characters for "Fu", all of which attracted the attention of passers-by. In front of every household, adults were busy cleaning and dusting, while children were excitedly trying on new clothes.

A carriage entered the city. An old man lifted the curtain and looked out of the carriage, his eyes full of surprise: "I have only been retired for a few years, and this capital has become so different that I can hardly recognize it."

The driver laughed and said, "Master, I have found out everything. Now when entering Beijing, carriages cannot just drive through randomly. There are special lanes for carriages. Otherwise, you will be fined."

"Who dares to punish me?" The old man snorted, "Even if your Majesty comes, I won't pay!"

The old man was not bragging, because he was the former Minister of Rites, Hu Yi, who had served in four dynasties and had been in charge of the Ministry of Rites for more than 30 years without falling, which was simply a miracle. Now, he is already 80 years old, and this visit to the capital to meet the emperor may be his last visit to the capital.

"Stop!" Hu Yi shouted.

The driver stopped the carriage on the side of the road, and Hu Yi got off the carriage. He moved swiftly, not like an 80-year-old man. He ran to a sesame seed cake stand on the street, bought a few sesame seed cakes, and packed one for himself.

He returned to the carriage while chewing, praising it: "Oh, it still tastes the same. I miss this when I'm back home."

The driver was very puzzled: "Master, you packed a bag. You can't take this back home."

"This is for His Majesty." Hu Yi said, "The Zhu family likes this kind of food."

The driver was very upset: "Master, I asked you to bring some local specialties to His Majesty, but you didn't. Now that we are in Beijing, it seems very perfunctory to bring His Majesty a few sesame cakes on the roadside."

"You know nothing." Hu Yi waved his hand, "Let's go to the palace!"

……

Qianqing Palace.

Zhu Qizhen had Cao Jixiang ready to welcome Hu Yi in the morning, and the underground heating was turned on to prevent the old man from freezing. Three years had passed in a flash, and he really missed the old man.

Wang Zhi and Hu Yi were the only two bigwigs in the court when Zhu Qizhen came back from Tumu Fortress. Although they were both on the side of the Queen Mother, they both supported him later.

Now, Wang Zhi has passed away, and only Hu Yi is left. Two months ago, Hu Yi submitted a memorial saying that he wanted to go to Beijing to meet the emperor. Zhu Qizhen was hesitant because he was already eighty years old and could not stand the fatigue of traveling. But Hu Yi insisted on coming, saying that he was very strong, so Zhu Qizhen agreed.

Jinyiwei reported that Hu Yi devoted himself to medicine after returning home. Zhu Qizhen also knew that medicine was Hu Yi's hobby. He once talked to the imperial physician Dai Sigong about the "Nei" and "Nan" classics. Who is Dai Sigong? He was the imperial physician that Zhu Yuanzhang valued the most, and he was also the imperial physician of Zhu Yuanzhang, Zhu Yunwen, and Zhu Di.

After retiring, the old man Hu Yi devoted himself to medicine and wrote three medical books: "Easy and Simple Prescriptions for Health", "Zhixuan Collection" and "Rules for Self-discipline".

"Cao Jixiang, go wait outside the door." Zhu Qizhen waved his hand, "I think Mr. Hu will be here soon."

"Yes, sir." Cao Jixiang stepped out.

Sure enough, not long after, Cao Jixiang led Hu Yi in. Zhu Qizhen stood up to greet them. When Hu Yi saw the emperor, he immediately knelt down, but Zhu Qizhen, who came forward quickly, held his hands up and said with a smile: "Mr. Hu, don't kneel. I'm afraid you'll come to the Qianqing Palace to make trouble."

Although Hu Yi was gray-haired, he looked quite energetic. Zhu Qizhen felt relieved and asked, "How are your old arms and legs doing on this journey?"

"I am still strong." Hu Yi said proudly, "I have studied medicine and know how to live longer."

Zhu Qizhen laughed out loud: "Then you must teach me something. I am also worried that I don't have enough time, so I want to ask God for another 500 years."

Hu Yi took out the bag of sesame cakes and handed it over, saying, "Your Majesty, this is a gift I brought for you."

Zhu Qizhen didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "You are still so stingy. It's just right. I'll wait for you to eat. Cao Jixiang, serve the meal."

He took Hu Yi to a side hall and sat down. After the maids served a table of delicacies, Zhu Qizhen waved his hand to let all the maids and eunuchs leave. Hu Yi's eyes fell on the beautiful maid who left and sighed, "It's still good to be young."

"Old man, how about I reward you with two?" Zhu Qizhen held his forehead with his hand.

"I am powerless." Hu Yi looked at Zhu Qizhen with a half-smile, and asked in a low voice, "Your Majesty, I heard that you...have been...impotent since you were injured in Tumu Fort? So there will be no more princes born."

Zhu Qizhen spat out a mouthful of tea and cursed: "Who the hell spread rumors? I will kill all his clans."

Hu Yijian smiled and spread his hands: "Do we need someone to spread rumors? Your Majesty, you are less than 30 years old. Since the Battle of Tumu Fortress, no concubine in the harem has been pregnant. Isn't this obvious?"

What the hell!

Damn, damn, damn!

Holy crap, crap, crap!

Zhu Qizhen was ashamed and angry. Is this what people are saying about me? I am a man of steel, but I am said to be impotent? He looked embarrassed and ashamed: "Infertility is not impotence!"

"Really?" Hu Yi took a sip of wine and smiled playfully.

"Old man, if you keep chatting like this, I will send you back at an express speed of eight hundred miles." Zhu Qizhen was speechless.

Hu Yi smiled and said, "Your Majesty, don't be so impatient. I came here to help you. You know, I have devoted myself to medicine over the years and have made great achievements."

Zhu Qizhen chuckled: "I don't believe you, you old man, you are so bad."

How come this old man became shameless after retiring? He used to be the Minister of Rites, with disciples all over the Ming Dynasty, and he was a great scholar of the time. Why does he exude such a mean temperament now?
"My faithful minister, Your Majesty, my faithful minister will have eternal life," said Hu Yi.

"Damn, he's acting like a charlatan?" Zhu Qizhen rolled his eyes.

Hu Yi took out a book, handed it to Zhu Qizhen and said, "Your Majesty, this is the method I got after studying the Mysterious Woman Theory. As long as you follow this method... and have sex with the concubines, you will definitely give birth to a prince."

Zhu Qizhen looked disdainful, but he took it in his hand, opened it, and his eyes lit up instantly: "Fuck, there are illustrations?"

"I drew it myself," said Hu Yi.

Zhu Qizhen: “!!!”

You can do it, old man. If this thing is published, you will be a great writer.

"Don't give me any advice, okay?" He glared, "You don't even know what's wrong with me. You didn't even take my pulse."

Hu Yi said seriously, "Do you still need to feel your pulse? Men pass on their family line through their essence, which is the essence of their body. Your Majesty, your essence is defective, so you are naturally infertile. Follow the method I give you, and it will work."

"Really?" Zhu Qizhen was skeptical.

"Of course, otherwise, why would I come all the way here?" Hu Yi sighed.

Zhu Qizhen put the book away first, raised his wine glass and said, "No matter what, I am still very happy to meet you, Mr. Hu."

The two skipped the topic and started drinking. After three glasses of wine, Hu Yi asked, "Your Majesty, how is the Ning family?"

"You already knew that she was a descendant of Jianwen's old ministers, right?" Zhu Qizhen snorted.

"I only found out about this after I went to Quanzhou." Hu Yi chuckled, "Emperor Jianwen was exiled overseas, and his descendants really wanted to come back." Zhu Qizhen was stunned and asked, "Wait, Jianwen has descendants overseas?"

Hu Yi nodded as a matter of course: "Yes, Ning Rongrong didn't tell you?"

"No!" Zhu Qizhen shook his head, "Humph, it seems that she still has a lot of things to hide from me."

Hu Yi took a sip of wine and said, "The descendants of Emperor Jianwen live in Malacca. Although they are no longer in power, they are still respected by the local people."

Zhu Qizhen seemed to be thinking about something.

……

evening.

Zhu Qizhen came to Kunning Palace and saw that the palace was full of boxes, some of which were filled with gold, silver and jewelry, and some were filled with exquisite silk fabrics. The Queen stood in the middle, smiling brightly: "This is what the virtuous concubine just sent over. It's the New Year, and I'm giving it to everyone."

"So generous?" Zhu Qizhen held his forehead with his hand.

"It is said that the weaving bureau has made some big deals this year and made a lot of money." The demon queen pointed to the box next to her and said, "Look, there are some Western stuff."

Zhu Qizhen reached out and picked up a telescope, tried it, and it worked fine. Today's Western merchants would bring some Western goods to the Ming Dynasty for sale. He also encouraged it, especially books on art.

The Demon Queen was in this inner hall, wearing only a long white dress that wrapped around her plump and graceful body. Her pretty face was filled with satisfaction: "Your condition is getting better every year, and I am very pleased."

Zhu Qizhen sat down on a chair nearby, sipped his tea and said, "Today Hu Yi came to Beijing. The old man said he would come to see you, the Queen Mother, tomorrow. He drank two more cups today."

The witch queen glared at him with her beautiful eyes: "I'm already eighty years old, and you're still forcing me to drink?"

"He wants to drink, I can't stop him." Zhu Qizhen spread his hands.

"It's winter now, and he's already old. Why is he going to the capital to meet the emperor?" the Demon Queen asked with a frown.

Zhu Qizhen looked embarrassed and said, "He came to treat me. He said that he has devoted himself to studying medicine in the past two years and can cure my... infertility."

The demon queen had an expression of disbelief on her face: "Him? The former Minister of Rites, treating you? Isn't this nonsense?"

"Well, I think his analysis makes some sense. As you know, Mr. Hu once lectured with Dai Sigong, and he has a deep understanding of medicine." Zhu Qizhen said with a smile.

The Demon Queen was slightly stunned, walked up to him, raised her eyebrows and asked, "Did he prescribe a prescription for you?"

"Not really." Zhu Qizhen shook his head.

The Demon Queen rolled her eyes, sat down on his legs, wrapped her arms around his neck, smiled seductively, and kissed his lips. She seemed to be extremely obsessed with the false emperor's lips.

After a long time, the lips opened.

The demon queen slowly stood up, her long white skirt fell to the ground, and her figure was infinitely beautiful.

"Let's eat." She called towards the kitchen, "Shuangxi, serve the food."

Zhu Qizhen also came to the dining table and sat down, saying, "Later, I'll let Chao Xiaotian find a new yard."

The Demon Queen nodded: "Well, we can move out when we have time."

"Yes." Zhu Qizhen looked aggrieved, "We have married, but not yet had our wedding night."

The demon queen blushed and glared, "You stinky man, that's all you think about!"

……

New Year's Eve.

The inner courtyard of the imperial palace was gently shrouded in a soft and solemn glow. In the night, the lights were dim, but not flashy or ostentatious.

Red silk and gold ornaments were interspersed between the columns and door lintels, which was neither complicated nor cumbersome, but just right to show the royal style. The palace lanterns hung high, illuminating the palace road and reflecting the busy and orderly figures of the palace maids and eunuchs.

Each palace was decorated with both dignity and elegance. The interior was decorated with light and elegant brocade, and decorated with exquisite porcelain and antiques. On the table were placed various exquisite cakes and fruits, with a fragrant aroma.

During the banquet, the hall was brightly lit, but there was no noise, only the melodious sound of stringed instruments. During the banquet, the Empress Dowager and the Emperor wore gorgeous clothes and celebrated the New Year with the royal family and relatives.

The Queen Mother was dressed elegantly and gracefully today, with a gentle and mature temperament, but her dark eyebrows were slightly furrowed, as if she somewhat disliked this lively atmosphere.

Because His Majesty the Emperor was chatting with Consort Xian and Consort De, and they were hugging each other from time to time. The Queen Mother snorted in her heart: "How disgraceful!"

But when she thought about how she had played more boldly with the fake emperor in Kunning Palace, her face turned slightly red again, and she felt more and more that she was the witch queen. After the emperor played with the concubines, he came to the empress dowager with a wine glass in his hand.

The two stood side by side, facing the wind. Seeing this, Concubine Xian, who was not far away, secretly admired the beauty of the Queen Mother. It seemed that time had left no trace on this woman.

"It's a new year again, and I hope it's a brand new beginning." Zhu Qizhen smiled.

"Yes." The Queen Mother said dignifiedly, "It is a blessing for the Ming Dynasty to have Your Majesty."

Zhu Qizhen rolled his eyes and lowered his voice, "So official?"

The Queen Mother glared at him and waved her hand: "I am tired and will go back to the palace. I will leave this place to you young people. Humph, I am an eyesore here."

She walked away with long strides, her figure swaying and her grace charming.

Zhu Qizhen didn't play for long, and he took Concubine Xian back to her Kunning Palace. Concubine Xian also built a bath in her back hall, and after they came back, they soaked in the bath comfortably.

Xianfei leaned on Zhu Qizhen's shoulder, her black hair hanging down in the mist, her charming eyes showing a dazed look: "Your Majesty, it's late, go to bed."

Zhu Qizhen looked strange and said, "The other day Hu Yi gave me a book, saying that if I follow the instructions above, I can give birth to a prince."

"What book? Are you serious?" Concubine Xian was excited, her beautiful eyes flickering.

"I have memorized all the contents." Zhu Qizhen stretched out his arms and hugged her tightly, saying, "I need your cooperation."

The virtuous concubine blushed and nodded shyly: "As long as I can give birth to a prince for your majesty, I am willing to do anything."

Zhu Qizhen also gave it a try. No, not just once, but he followed the instructions in the book. Maybe it would really work. What the book said seemed to be true.

Taoism is profound and extensive.

After a while, there was a loud sound of water splashing in the bathtub.

The fake emperor is working hard to have a biological son! New Year is coming soon, and the sound of firecrackers has been heard outside the palace.

The whole city was setting off firecrackers, including him!

(End of this chapter)